Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Love the House I Live in




         Though Roland seemed anxious to purchase a house right away, I still don’t know what city I would like to make my permanent resident.  I love Myrtle Creek. Everyone’s been so friendly and it really did not take long to warm up to things.

         Roland has always looked at the house itself.  My primary concern is with the neighborhood, the ward, the area itself.  The house is only secondary.  But I do love this house we’re in right now – though we are just renting and haven’t even bothered looking at a house to buy – though Roland still seems anxious to do that very thing. 

        School is so expensive, and if we can find a home now, Jenna will have a better chance of going to school in Oregon for a much lower cost than her brothers.  MUCH LOWER – but we have to be homeowners.  But I also believe we need to be making more money than our budget allows at this time.  As renters, we do not have to pay property taxes.  I find that to be a plus right now.  



         I do know we’ll need to move eventually.  But let’s let Jenna do a year or two of middle school at least.  I thought I’d want to move her to a bigger high school, but I’m finding that I really like those that graduated from So. Umpqua High.  But I don’t know that I could last six or seven years more in this county.  Eventually I’m going to need to go back to public transportation. 

         I don’t remember yellow flowering plants with thorns even existing when I lived on the east side of state street growing up in Salt Lake City.  But after I got married and moved to the west side, thorns were an everyday part of our life.  Both houses we were in.  We couldn’t help but step of them. 



      They were constantly being dragged into the house and it seemed to house needed to be swept and vacuumed more often, but somehow thorns were always left behind.  I could never go barefoot in the house, let alone outside.  In Myrtle Creek, I’ve been able to do both.  And it’s been wonderful.

       When we lived in West Valley, there was no garbage disposal hook-up.  I am so used to scraping garbage out of the sink and throwing it away that I forget we have access to a disposal in the house where we currently live.



         We also have a place to put our table and call a dining room


         We have a lot more closet and cupboard space and just a lot more space.  It is so awesome to be able to walk from room to room without bumping into walls or furniture because everything is narrow and small.

         We have water pressure!  Something else I have truly missed the last 5 ½ years.  I love being able to do dishes in more than just a trickle of water.  I can even do dishes when the washing machine is running – something I couldn’t even fathom in West Valley. Taking showers is also a lot nicer.

         I had a laundry room when we lived in Kearns, but not in West Valley.  My desire was to move the appliances outside, wall up that area and have more elbowroom.  The washer and dryer are now in the garage where one might think I have more elbow room, but with a refrigerator on one side and a car on the other, the space might actually be tighter than in West Valley. 

         In West Valley my washer opened to the left and my dryer to the left opened down.  It was kind of a bother to attempt to push clothes over one door and hope they would land in the dryer or at least of the door – though I wasn’t happy with having too much weight.  Now my doors open opposite directions.




         I found a system that lessens the inconvenience of having two doors in between the washer and dryer.  I take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the basket.  I put the basket on top of the dryer and clothes the washer drawer.  I move my body over to the tiny space in front of the dryer and take the clothes down and put them inside.  Wish I would have thought to do the same when we lived in West Valley. I’m not complaining because there are so many other features about the house that I love.

         I love having shelves to put things.  I love having a coat closet (not that we’ve had a need for it as of yet) None of the houses I have lived in have offered coat closets.

         I love having access to electronic communication, for I still miss those that we left behind in Utah.  I am grateful that Roland was able to bring his electronic position with him and still has a job regardless of where we live.  



         I love being able to breathe.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Give Me Moist Aire


It’s been an awesome winter
Yesterday we had a storm
Didn't last long, but now
the air is dry.  I
Haven’t had the sinus pain
Breathing’s been nice
Until the
Last few days
My throat is closing
The only way to clear it
Is to make an unattractive noise
I drawing the attention
To myself
But if I don’t make those sounds
I can’t breathe
Why when it snows
Is there less precipitation
in the air?
I am not a scientist. 
I don’t understand
Why the air is so dry.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

I’m Floored That She Would Even Remember Me


         Quite recently Jenna had asked me if there were seriously anyone who did not/does not like Santa Clause.  I gave her an example of a girl who used to live in my mom’s ward.  Roslyn hated beards.  She was scared of anyone who wore one – even in pretend. The two top people on her “hate” list were Santa Clause and Jesus – I don’t know if it was that order.

         Imagine my surprise to learn that little girl grew up to be the vice principal at Jenna’s school.  I hadn’t known that when I related the above.  I was assisting at the JA city when Roslyn had approached me yesterday to ask if I was LaTiesha Cannon.  It’s true that I was wearing a nametag with my first name on it.  But still.  I don’t think we’ve seen one another for at least thirty years – not that we had much contact when living in mom’s ward.

         Roslyn had been a sunbeam when my mom was teaching in primary.  I may have subbed in her class a few times.  I knew her as one of the primary children.  I’m guessing we’re at least twenty years apart.  I didn’t think she had even known me at the time, let alone 20-30 years later. I was shocked that she was able to make the connection. I do have the same first name as one of her aunts.  Perhaps that is how she remembered.

         To be honest, I did not nor would have recognized Roslyn – even if I had seen her sitting by her mother.  She had seemed so withdrawn in her youth and had a very low self-esteem. She was still in her youth the last time I remember seeing her.  The person I saw yesterday approached me – something she would never have done in her youth.  We had an actual conversation.  We hadn’t said that many words to one another in the entire time we had both lived in the ward that we had both grown up in.

         Roslyn said she had come – not only because Vantana had a class participating in yesterday’s event, but also because her brother is a director of JA City.  I hadn’t recognized him either.  I think he was still out on his mission when I moved out of the ward.  I might have made a connection with him if I had spent more time with him.  They have a common last name and so maybe not. 

         He smiled when I asked if he was Rob Anderson.  I told him that we had been in the same ward – but it was Roslyn who had made the connection.  I had told both of them that I had recently related Roslyn’s lack of passion toward Santa Clause.  This morning I said to Jenna: “Guess who that little girl grew up to be?”

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda . . . Time Machine





“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weaknesses that they may be humble; . . .” Ether 12:27

How many of us wish we had a time machine that we might have opportunity for do over.  If only I had made a different choice.  If only I had spent more time (and probably money) perhaps we could have found our runaway dog.  I wish I had been a more positive influence when Roland’s girls came to visit.  I wish I hadn’t left Jenna in all day kindergarten after we moved.

Regrets are demons if we allow ourselves to dwell on what could have been instead of just moving on.  Perhaps we may learn from or see growth from what it is we think we’d like to change.  Allow me to use Jenna’s kindergarten experience as an example.

The school by our first house offered two all-day kindergarten classes.  There were few parents who desired just half day.  The instructors were able to devote more time to their students and the children learned more than they would have in half day.  That is what I was used to.  That is what I wanted to continue with.

But we didn’t necessarily have that option at the second school.  The all day kindergarten program was definitely NOT the same.  I didn’t know that.  Either it hadn’t been explained to me or I just wasn’t listening or I hadn’t understood.  Nor had I prayed about my decision to put her in all day kindergarten.  But even if I had, would the results have been any different?

Jenna LOVED her first school and she tried loving her second.  But she was as a disadvantage as she was so much smarter than the other children who didn’t know how to accept Jenna.  I don’t think they were mean to her necessarily, but they certainly weren’t friendly.  Jenna felt so alone – which she would have in half day as well, but it would have been fewer hours at school and more time with me teaching her at home.

I’ve known all along that it was/is stupid to have this regret.  It has already happened.  I can’t change it.  And yet I realize that without the tragedy of how Jenna and I each felt about her education (or rather lack of) that we would most likely not be where we are today.  For without that experience I may not have searched so hard to find another school.  Nor would I have even considered another school if we were still living in our first house. She’s had many awesome opportunities with her current school that she would have missed out on with the other two. I think it was worth the four month struggle we both faced after we moved.  But it’s taken me a long time to figure it out.

Whenever I think of the apostle Peter, I wonder if he had regrets.  He made some huge errors that are recorded for the entire world to read about.  And yet, how much stronger and diligent was he at fulfilling his mission?  Did he not turn his human weaknesses into strengths?  Was he not a stronger leader after the resurrection than before Christ was crucified?



There are no time machines.  We can’t change the past.  Regret will only get in the way of our growth and happiness.  We need to move on.  We need to find our strengths.


Sunday, August 25, 2013

Tori and Natasha


Tori and Grace were friends with one another – at one time.  Grace and her daughter both worked – or perhaps it was something else that kept them away from raising Natasha, Grace’s granddaughter.  Tori agreed to watch Natasha to assist both Grace and her daughter, but developed an attachment you might say.

Things might not have ended up so ugly if Grace hadn’t tried taking advantage of Tori to begin with.  Natasha’s mom abused Natasha and was later sent to prison for it, leaving Grace to tend to her granddaughter – but it appeared that Grace had abusive issues of her own. That’s how it was explained to me and that is what I believe.  I don’t know all the details.  I had just heard that after Grace moved, she would lock Natasha in the closet and fed her only one meal a day.

Tori is not the most educated, but she has a good heart.  In addition to caring for Natasha, she also allowed her ex-husband to move back in.  What a sap he is.  Roger is a professional bum who donates plasma twice a week so that he at least has enough money for his smokes. He doesn’t take the incentive to clean up after himself – let alone someone else.  He’s a know-it-all talk machine. If Roger could make a career out of talking on and on just to hear the sound of his own voice, he would be a millionarire.  One minute with Roger makes spending an entire day with Cliff Calvin seem comfortable   At least Cliff appeared to have a job

I’m unclear as how it is that Tori gained custody of Natasha. Perhaps DCFS was involved.  In Tori’s eyes she is the one who raised Natasha from the time she was a baby. I don’t know who assisted Tori into finding a way to legally adopt Natasha. 

Natasha was happy to have Tori as a mom and was willing to make sacrifices to help her as she had been helped herself.  So when Tori held a yard sale in order to raise a little money, Natasha volunteered - of her own free will - to sell her bike.

            I don’t fully understand why Roland seems drawn to yard sells – but he can always spot them while out driving.  Just before our first summer living in West Valley he was on his way somewhere when he noticed Natasha’s bike and stopped off to make a inquire about the bike. He paid for it and said he would return for the bike at a later time. Natasha, who appeared to be just as friend-hungry as Jenna, offered to bring it over so that she could meet the new owner of her bike. 

            So for about two years the girls played together off and on – once or twice a week, a few times a month, and then every other month.  And then it was about a year before we saw Natasha again.  It was always hit and miss.  Tori was always working – but Roger was always there (unless he was out selling plasma or picking up smokes) 
            Natasha didn’t understand why Tori worked all the time – that the hours she had put in were to support them financially and pay the attorney and fees. Tori wished to move – find a place for just her and Natasha – far away from where they live currently.  Only two bedrooms instead of three so she could honestly tell Roger that there would be no room for him.  So her house went up for sale, but the attorneys advised against it.  And then she went bankrupt and lost the house and had to take the sign down as it now belongs to the bank, but she’s been paying rent from what she tells me. Not really sure how that works - but she's still there and just scraping by financially.

Natasha has spent too much time with Roger.  She hasn’t been respectful to either him or Tori.  She’s acquired many of his bad habits.  Doesn’t lift a finger, even when Tori asks her to.  Tori has allowed the two of them to walk all over her.  I wouldn’t put up with it (but then again, I would have never got involved with Roger in the first place – let alone taken him back)

I saw Natasha and Tori the other night when Jenna and I were returning home after a long day to end her summer.  Natasha was out riding her scooter.  She seemed so forlorn and distant – as though she has given up on life.  She’s only twelve. She just started junior high.  I hope she makes friends there and doesn’t break.  I was just so sad as I watched her not caring.

While Jenna ran home to get her scooter, I walked Natasha to her house and Tori came out to tell her something.  She looked awful – Tori did.  Her hair is short and quite thin.  She has red splotches all over her face.  She says she has cancer. I don’t know what kind. I know her financial affairs are not the greatest.  The disease will most likely kill her as she doesn’t seem to know how to prioritize her affairs.  And Roger does absolutely nothing to help her. 

My heart breaks for both her and Natasha. What will become of her if /when Tori dies. Is that why Natasha seems so distant?

I told her about a place not too far from here.  I hope that she is able to remove Natasha from her current living environment.  I hope she takes the time to teach her daughter the values that she might have once had before Roger corrupted her.  I hope Natasha realizes that education and work will work to her advantage much better than following in Roger's footsteps and trying to continue life as a bum. I hope she understands the sacrifices that Tori has made and that she will find strength to overcome.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

It's Been A Tough Week




          A week ago yesterday mom
was discharged from the hospital
A week ago yesterday I
drove her home – her actual house. 
She wanted me to take her
to the one in her mind.

A week ago yesterday I drove
her to my house where we waited
for Nate (my nephew) to come
get her and take her
to her real home. 

A week ago she was
still distorted and not
satisfied with where she was.

A week ago today my
brother Patrick and his son-in-law
Nate moved some of mom’s furniture. 
A week ago today my sister-in-law
Sunny and our friend Becky
helped pack clothes.

A week ago today
unbeknownst to my mom,
she spent her last day
in the house where she started
a new life with dad and raised all
four of her children.

A week ago today my
sister Kayla took my mom
to the doctor. 
A week ago today, Patrick and
Sunny and their daughter Ellen
rearranged mom’s furniture and
decorated her walls.  

A week ago today Kayla drove mom
from the doctor’s office to what
appears to be her permanent home. 
A week ago today (well tonight) mom
spent her first night in
the assisted living community.

A week ago tomorrow my
brother Corey arrived at Salt Lake airport.
A week ago tomorrow Sunny picked
him up from the airport and
drove him to the house where
he had been raised. 

A week ago tomorrow my
mother received visits from each
of her kids and some
of the grandchildren.
A week ago today mom expressed
to each of us that she didn’t/doesn’t
want to stay and for her desire for
each of us to take her home.

There are photos taped around
the mirror. Mom had taped them
there herself.  They are her photos. She
has fond memories of each one –
perhaps some more than others.  Some
of them have been removed. She has
taken them off the mirror and put
them into her purse so that she will
have them when she gets to leave –
and return to the house that exists in
her mind but doesn’t
have an address for.  

Yesterday Corey cancelled his
flight and rented a truck

Today he'll pick up the truck and
fill it with things  that are his as
well as my moms.

Tomorrow he will drive
back to Las Vegas

                                      kfralc

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Working with Swire Coca-Cola



          When was first called to work at Swire, the company was located downtown.  I would take the bus to a stop two or three lights east of where I needed to be and walk the rest of the way.



I was working in the human resources area doing filing. It also became my job to help them pack up and move as they were leaving the downtown area and settling on a neutral location between Salt Lake and Provo and combining their employees into just one building instead of two.   I remember being with them after the move – I think until they were all settled in.  And then my position was through.

I returned to Swire for another assignment – handling and counting money that each of the drivers would bring in from the vending machines. The girl who trained me was really nice. 
It was an easy job – except for the one time when the power went out and we couldn’t even see our hands in front of our faces.  Though it was possible to count each bill, we didn’t know it’s value by touching it.
Brand new building.  Still hadn’t worked out all their bugs.

While working in the money room, Adia informed me of an indefinite position opening in another department.  I was interviewed by the team supervisor and started a new position after a couple of weeks in the money room.
I liked working there.  The work was consistent.  It wasn’t hard at all.  And I caught on quite quickly.  There was a phone on my desk in which I could call people, but it never rang.  I really liked that I didn’t have to answer it.

The department consisted of three primary positions.  One would batch papers (that was usually the job I did) by sorting them into groups of color and paper thickness so that the person scanning them could change the tracking device.  When a new machine was purchased (much later on down the road) the batches didn’t have to be sorted into color and paper weight anymore – just counted.  The new machine was so much easier to work (or so I assumed)

Aside from batching and scanning, there was keying.  Typing in the number to match the one on the document.  Fairly easy, but required accuracy.  It was my least favorite of the three jobs.  I suppose they all got boring.

Ever since DCFS I heard that more and more companies would be going to a paperless system.  It was more believable at Swire than I can ever imagine DCFS would ever (or will ever) be. 




I worked at Swire in 2002 when Coca-Cola products were the only cola products to be sold within the downtown or Olympic participating areas.  There were promotions.  There were incentive programs.  There were a lot of benefits that came with working at Swire.

After a few years with Adecco, I went on with Swire full time.  I worked there until a year before I had Jenna.  I would go back if I lived closer to Draper.  The commute and gas prices just don’t seem to work together right now.  Especially since I’m looking for just part time.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Late Bloomer

I was thirteen when I got my first period.  I was with my family – on vacation.  Ugh!  I told my mom that there was blood in my pants.  She explained what was taking place inside my body and how I could look forward to this special gift each month.  Yuck!  Seriously.  Wasn’t at all excited about having this piece of womanhood.

          I didn’t receive my second period until two and a half years later.  I was at school thinking, “Okay, this is not so bad.  Every two and a half years.  I can handle that”  But there was no two and a half year wait for my next one.  They started coming in perhaps every five or six weeks.  Soft.  If it weren’t for the disgusting smell, I could have probably gotten away with just a band-aid for my entire period.  I have never been a heavy bleeder.  I have never been regular.

          I didn’t get married until I was thirty-nine.  I had joined a ready-made family and was quite okay with it as I didn’t plan on bearing any children myself.  Roland wanted more children, but I told him I was too old.  Plus our financial situation was so unstable, I didn’t think it was a very good idea. 

          Now I know the only sure method of birth control is abstinence – which I knew would not be happening with Roland’s strong desires.  I did take birth control in the first year of our marriage – never knowing whether I really needed it or not. 

          I’d been instructed on how to take them and what was expected from the cycling process.  Instead of my usual four to five weeks, I would be ovulating just every four.  And although my period did come more regular than it ever had in my entire lifetime – it was every three.  And so I was still irregular.

          Before I got pregnant with Jenna, Roland and I were told that there would be a 25% chance of my getting pregnant IF I took frailty drugs.  This was due to my age and having only one tube. I had finally convinced Roland that I would not be able to bear him anymore children.  So that was that.  Or so we believed.

The boys were out of town the summer of 2003 and Roland and I had gone to a health fair to donate blood.  I don’t know whose bright idea it was to have the registration so far away from the blood bank – but it was.  We filled out the forms at the school and walked half a mile across the playground to the trailer where the blood was drawn.

Roland has excellent blood.  He has marvelous health and was hooked up right away.  Well, by the time I walked all the way from the school to the trailer in the unbearable beating sun, my blood pressure was too high.  My efforts were rejected  (though I did get a piece of red gauze to wear on my arm so that it would appear that I had donated)

We went to another exhibit.  I was tested for diabetes and told my sugar was high – but because of the heat it might not be accurate.  I was given a card that had the address and phone # of a medical research and was told I should make an appointment – which I did.  I was feeling sluggish. 

On the morning of my scheduled appointment I questioned some pain I had in my breasts – like rubber bands snapping.  That was a familiar pain I had had before the major pain that had taken me to the hospital the previous year.

“Could I seriously be pregnant?” I wondered.

When I arrived at the clinic I told the staff that it was possible that I might be pregnant.  So they did two tests on me.  I tested negative for diabetes and positive for pregnancy.  My obstetrician was in the same complex, and so I left the medical center and went right over to make an appointment.

The first thing my Dr. did was send me downstairs for an ultrasound.  He didn’t believe in the test results I had taken and wanted to see what was really going on.  And if I was pregnant that my baby was growing where she was supposed to be and not in the remaining tube. Sure enough I was pregnant.  Blew my doctor away!

Babies seem to arrive early in my family.  Like so many others, Jenna was born  before the intended due date - eight days.  My mom and sister and I were just about to leave the house to attend a birthday party for an eighty year old we had all worked with.  But then my water broke.  Surely I wouldn't be able to drive myself to the hospital.

I had just finished eating a tuna fish sandwich – which came out shortly after we had all checked me in.  My mom and sister stayed camped out with me in the birthing room.  And Roland joined us after a while.  I was starving, but they wouldn’t let me eat anything.  And Jenna had certainly taken her time. 

23 ½ hours!  23 ½!  I had to be induced (I never did contract on my own) and Jenna’s head was guided out as I was told to push or not push and I was so loaded up on epidural I didn’t know if I actually was pushing or not.

Short of seven weeks Jenna and I are nearly 42 years apart.  My first one.  My only one biologically.  I had had some weird symptoms with her.

I couldn’t drink water without getting sick (even that summer when Roland had donated blood and I had been rejected; before I even knew I was pregnant I would get sick just drinking water) I developed a really numb case of tendentious. 

Every time I mentioned an odd side effect, my mom would just look at me with a puzzled expression and state, “I don’t remember ever getting that when I was pregnant”  Nor did my sister-in-law.  But they were also 20 years younger when they had their first babies.

Jenna keeps me young at times.  But at the same time I feel so much older as I am theoretically old enough to be the mother of some of her friends' parents.  I will be sixty when Jenna graduates high school.  And at the rate I’m going I probably won’t experience menopause until I’m in my late 70”s.