Showing posts with label friendships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendships. Show all posts

Saturday, June 22, 2013

A Friend for Jenna


It’s been almost a year since we were first introduced to Payton.  Frank and Marie had invited us to the annual Independence Day BBQ at the park hosted by Miguel, Cheryl and Sylvia who live just across the way.  Payton will visit on occasion, and she and Jenna hit it off right away.  And so often when Payton is visiting Cheryl, we will set up play dates for her and Jenna.

I can’t believe how well they play together.  They can actually spend several hours without feuds or hurt feelings.  I wish Payton and Jenna could play together every day.

Trume’s grandparents sent him to day camp – I’m guessing for the entire summer.  They have two incomes.  Apparently they can afford it.  Besides I think if Grandpa had to spend the entire day with Trume, he would end up killing him (or himself)

It’s been equally nice for us not to have him knock on the door first thing in the morning or having daily confrontations between him and Jenna. 

Besides Trume there is Wesley (from this post).  I have agreed to watch him during the summer as dad has classes and mom now works full time – downtown no less.  It gives Jenna the opportunity to play with someone other than Trume.

So far there have not been the daily disputes that Trume and Jenna always encounter.  Wesley and Jenna have been civil towards one another.  He will come over to play on the days that I’m not watching him.  They’ve had fun. Thus far they’ve been spending the entire day together (even after dad has returned home – even mom) and that’s been really nice for me.

On Saturdays she explores the area surrounding the community garden.  She plays with Parker, Hunter and Skyler.  She says she is tired of boys.  There are two girls from primary that she has spent time with.  Both have working moms and are not available to play other than the weekends.  But she has been able to spend a few weekends playing with Payton.

We had tried the Friday thing with Amber who Jenna had met in pre-school – but that resulted in only two play dates.  I think Jenna mishandled their time together.  But now that school’s out activity remains in West Valley and not the surrounding cities. And so Jenna lives for weekends.
           
            Over Memorial Day weekend Roland asked Bill if he and Kayla would like to double date with us to see the new Star Trek movie.  Bill is an avid fan of Star Trek and is one who would dress up and go to conventions whereas Roland likes Star Trek and is quite knowledgeable about Star Trek trivia – dressing up for a convention would be pushing the boundaries just a little too far.

            But what about the kids?  Surely Bill wasn’t going to bring Anna and Garrett and I didn’t believe that Jenna would want to spend more than ten minutes watching Star Trek – let alone two hours.  And so I had to find someone who’d be willing to take her for at least four hours.  I figured if Payton would be visiting, that would serve well for all of us.

            We saw Miguel setting up for a yard sale and Jenna happily announced that she had seen Payton.  So not only was Jenna ecstatic to see her friend, but Payton was equally as excited especially when I offered to take both girls back to our house for a few hours to jump on the trampoline.

            After a few hours I returned them both to Sylvia’s house and they watched the movie “Brave” outside along with the yard sale. Tony and Rochelle had given the DVD to Jenna for her birthday. Neither Sylvia nor Payton had ever seen before. 

            The Star Trek movie was good – especially for Bill who had been overly enthusiastic the entire time and shot pictures out in the lobby with sign and display and passed his camera off to others so as to get all four of us.

            After we parted company, Roland drove straight to Sylvia’s where we picked up both Payton and Jenna to give them a few more hours.  Their playdate lasted almost three times as long as the one that Roland and I had with Bill and Kayla.  They said they would like to spend every Friday together.  Cheryl informs me that Payton is also tired of playing with just boys.

            Cheryl dropped Payton off on Friday and Jenna invited Payton to the stake breakfast this morning.  I had to admire both girls when they pitched in to help stir pancake batter and eggs. 

            After we returned home the girls played games while Roland and I worked in the yard. 
            A neighbor who is moving brought us his swimming pool and Payton and Jenna spent about three hours in the pool and jumping on the trampoline.  I fed them before Cheryl came by to pick up Payton who was still wearing Jenna’s swimsuit.  And so that bought the girls another three hours. 

            I am so glad they have each other.  It has been a good thing for all of us.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Thank You Rob Buyea


I mention my discovery of Mr. Terupt in this post.  Rob Buyea makes reference to several books throughout the two books that I’ve read and I have made my journey into some of those books. So here are my reviews on “Belle Teal” by Ann M. Martin and “Belle Prater’s son” by Ruth White



“Belle Teal” is told in first person by a girl who’s been named after her grandma – Belle Teal.  The story takes place roughly 1961 – 1962 I’m guessing in Virginia. Two things stand out for me.  One is that Belle’s grandmother has Alzheimer’s or another form dementia.  It isn’t explained.  Even back then – there wasn’t the same understanding that we have now – and are still trying to explain.

The other is/was the relationship between her classmates.  One is a black student who has just transferred into an all white school.  Another is a high and mighty princess, also a first timer for that particular school. The other is the son of an abusive drunkard parent. They had formed a friendship in a previous grade. 

I absolutely love the way Belle Teal handles herself and tries hard to make friends and tries hard to add harmony to classmates and to situations that occur.  I also like her enthusiasm with her writing and her creativity.  She reminds me a little bit of my own Jenna.



“Belle Prater’s Son” also takes place in Virginia – but about ten years earlier.  It is told in first person – which I enjoy.  I always have an easier time getting into books that are told in first person.

Gypsy is Belle Prater’s niece, who tells the story mostly about her relationship with her cousin Woodrow, who moves in next door shortly after his mom disappears. There is a bit of mystery involved, tall tales, and finding self esteem.  The message I took from this story was that looks are not important and we needn’t treat one another in a way that focus on outward appearance.  I love how the characters are willing to accept themselves and grow.  I also like how Woodrow appreciates the simple things and what Gypsy has taken advantage of for some time become new again.

Monday, May 27, 2013

A Little Romance . . .

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I went to Alpine Ridge where mom is staying.  I was surprised to see Harold sitting on her bed and visiting with her.  He was saying that he has six boys – while mom has only four children – two girls and two boys.  But she claims to have a lot more pictures than Harold.

I told her I had come to take her to a family dinner – but we had time to visit before we left.  Jenna’s eyes lit up when Harold mentioned Peanut Brittle.  He said he had been in a place before this one and they let him make peanut brittle in the microwave.  But one day the microwave started smoking and they never let him in the kitchen again.  And then he had to move.

Jenna absorbed it all – hanging on to his every word.  I decided that his mind works the same as mom’s and his time frame is different as well as some of his facts.  He said he wanted to take mom flying – not that he’s a pilot.  He wouldn’t be driving the plane, but would like to take mom up just the same.  He doesn’t know when, but it will be in Heber.  He asked me if that would be okay.  I said Sure.

Roland was coming straight from work, and I had asked him to meet us at Alpine Ridge so we could just take one car and return for the other when we brought mom back. He called from the parking lot when we arrived and asked us to come out.

So mom said her good-byes to me and Jenna. 
“But you’re going with us,” I said.
“But I have company.”

Fortunately Harold excused himself and said it was okay if she needed to go.  I reminded mom that her living brother would had come for a visit and would be joining us as well as Corey and Joh.  She was willing to leave Harold for Corey - afterall he is her favorite.

So Harold adjusted himself bent over his walker, and mom stood up and they kissed.  It was cute.  Reminded me of Jenna’s first day of Pre-school when she and Paul were holding hands.

I don’t think they’re more than just friends, but it was interesting to watch.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Another Day in the Life . . .


I can hear Trume’s grandpa
He is raising his voice
As he often does when Trume
Is getting on his nerves

“Who’s he yelling at?”
I wonder – for it is a school day
Trume is in the first grade.

I hear a light knock at
My door – followed by the doorbell
(as I was too slow getting there – even
In my cracker box house)

Ordinarily I would guess Trume
Except for he should be at school.
He’s in the same district as Jenna
She’s at school.

I check the peep hole
Don’t see anyone.  Trume –
Really?  He’s not the brightest
Although his grandma claims otherwise

“Jenna is in school, “ I say. 
“How come your not?”
Evidently grandpa didn’t feel like taking him
Or maybe he forgot.

How could he not remember?
Grandma took Trume’s little sister
To daycare.  Wouldn’t it make sence that
If she was gone that Trume should be also?

I’m doing laundry
I use the washing machine more in the summer
Than any other season
I don’t always have to use the dryer though

I don’t particulary enjoy being outdoors
When it is so hot
But it is more economical to hang
Clothes on the line.
They dry faster.

Usually by the time I get from
One end of the clothes line to the other
The clothes that I hung up first
Are ready to come down

More wrinkly and stiff than from the dryer
But whites are whiter and our gas bill
Is not as high as if I dried everything I wash.

It’s quiet outside.
I haven’t heard grandpa’s voice
Since Trume came by.
I wonder if he was taken to school.

I’ll probably find out later today –
Like the second I pull in the driveway
Unless I take Jenna to the park.
Maybe I’ll do that.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Ode to David Smith


We all know a
David Smith such a
common name 

In my case you were
the boy next door
middle child
your mom and
my mom showed
pregnant bellies
three times the
same time – well maybe
just two and a half.

Tow headed blonds
we both were
neighborhood games
and school
Your family had
the only trampoline
there for a while

chain linked fence
separated our back yards
we grew
neither of us married
until our late thirtys

you had two daughters
I have one.  Wish we could
have gotten them together
before you passed on
a year ago last month

Your final act of
service happened when
you were only 49.  You
were in the basement of
your parents up 
on the ladder I believe 
and you lost your balance 
or your footing
and you fell and left this
earth life. 

Your family will keep your
memory alive and I
hope that your girls may
visit often and learn more about
who you were and
who you are now.






Friday, October 19, 2012

Looking for Letters in the Mail: Introducing My Child to a Lost Art



          I don’t know that pen palling is really a lost art.  It just seems with the internet and facebook and email and such – the written letters seem to be a thing of the past.
          Earlier I created this post.  Jenna and her cousin Melody had promised to write one another every day.  And for an entire week Jenna really did – though I did not mail on a daily basis.  I would accumulate and then mail.

          I ended up sending two or three pieces of mail.  Jenna was really disappointed that Melody hadn’t written back.  I actually believe that Melody did write – perhaps every day in the beginning – but I don’t believe it was a priority for either mom or dad to address the envelope and put a stamp on it.  Thus they never got mailed.

          For a while I would leave letters in the box for Jenna.  They had all been signed, “Your Secret Friend”. She had actually given Melody the credit and has written back to her.  Still nothing from Melody though.

          And so I went on a pen pal search.  I Googled and brought up some sites – some wanted money – though not a lot.  I’m cheap and still looked for another alternate.  And I found a blog site that gave the suggestion of finding friends through friends.



          I have several friends on facebook who live out of state – there are even a couple that live out of the country – but until Jenna is willing to build up her vocabulary and actually write more than two sentences, I am not willing to pay over a dollar per ½ ounce sent.  So we are remaining in the states for the time being.

          As of now she is up to seven pen pals.  Six have written back.  Two are actually facebook friends who are many years older than Jenna (one actually closer to my age) and a distant cousin and none she’s ever met.

          But it is truly a joy to watch her excitement as she retrieves any mail that has her name on it.  Two Halloween cards.  And lots of treasures – the latest with a bonus letter – because even though the initial letter was sent to Paul, his younger sister saw Jenna’s picture and decided that she was beautiful and would like to write to her herself. 

          Interestingly enough, Paul and Jenna each attend a school with the very same name. They both like music, singing, acting and arts.  He writes how his three sisters drive him crazy and she wrote back that her three brothers drive her bananas – which is actually not true.

          Biff is the only one who lives with us.  True, he does get on her nerves at times, but that is because he works graveyards and thus likes to sleep during the day – which often is a challenge as Jenna is usually so loud and dramatic.

          Randy (the most mature of my three boys) drops by occasionally to use the computer.  He is very gentle with her and speaks kindly to her and often challenges her intellect.  (Not to say that Biff isn’t kind – but he’s definitely not as gentle.  Pokes and teases her – and she is mostly never in the mood)

We rarely see Tony as he is in another state. Jenna adores him.  I don’t think he has ever driven her bonkers – but then again . . . I can remember them arguing in the backseat of the car as though they were two five year olds – what is really sad as that they are sixteen years apart.

          Jenna was off school yesterday and again today.  We will send letters to at least four friends this weekend.  And if we get another letter, we will just add to the friendship list.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Experiencing the Great Outdoors



          As soon as I hit “publish” on my last post – the very second (I kid you not) I could hear Highness scratching at the door – which made a grand total of 29 minutes and 41 seconds that he had been outside.  Which is 28 minutes and 58 seconds longer than usual.

          We haven’t had him for a full year yet.  I think he stayed out longer when the weather was cooler – but not cold.  After the snow melted and the ground softened a bit, Highness started digging.  He escaped too many times.  But he hasn’t managed to sneak past the board that we put up in May.  Too bad we didn’t know about it sooner.

          The couple next door has a grandson that visits almost weekly.  He’s a handful.

          Truman’s Nana invited my daughter over to play shortly after we moved in.  But Truman would wear on Jenna’s nerves.  He was much too immature for her. Still is – but has developed a more sophisticated vocabulary.

          There is still a two age difference between them, but over the years Jenna has come to tolerate Truman and even accept him as friend – maybe her only friend.  Just haven’t seen a lot of kids this summer.

          Jenna has never been on an actual camping trip.  The few “camping” experiences she’s had have consisted of setting up the tent in the back yard and roasting marshmallow over the grill.  Right now it seems to be enough.  In 2010 she went “camping” with her brother (the one who is currently in the army) This year it was with Roland after Father’s Day (which you can read more about here)

My last post indicated that she was camping next door.  A tent had been set up in the backyard.  She spent the night with Truman, and his Nana – who had invited Jenna to stay with them.  Don’t know that Roland was as thrilled with the idea.  But there had been a spark in Jenna’s eyes all day.  I couldn’t say “NO’’ and kill the excitement that she had been feeling all day Friday.  She would be crying otherwise.

Not only did she have a great sleepover.  She spent time in the pool and ran through the sprinklers and ended up going to the movies with the family Saturday afternoon.  They went and saw “Brave” which she initially didn’t want to see.  She expressed her lack of interest each time a preview would appear.  I said that I would like to see it – she must have had a change of heart.  She said that “Brave” was awesome.  I won’t be seeing it until it comes to the dollar theatre.  We’ll go on a Monday when the shows are 75 cents.

I am so grateful that Jenna has found friendship after almost three years.  Still has friends and is very popular where we came from – but it’s been a lot more difficult over hear.  Though she does have two sets of brothers fighting over her already.  Oh, my heck! She’s only eight!

Thank you Ben and Stacey for taking Jenna under your wing and allowing her to go on your family activities.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Corresponding with my Secret Friend



          Jenna is always asking if there is any mail for her.  I suppose most children go through the stage of wanting to receive a card or letter that has been sent especially to them.  It doesn’t happen too often.  And the disappointments seem to weigh in even more.

          Recently we were at a pool party hosted by my cousin.  Her daughter, Melody and Jenna are five months apart.  We had arrived at the party late and both Jenna and Melody were going through withdrawal for each other’s company.  Before we pulled Jenna away so that we could return to our house, Jenna and Melody promised that they would write to one another – though we only live about 20 minutes away from one another.  Postage is definitely less than the cost of gas.  Not to mention the commute itself (construction and heat account for far more than 20 minutes) and our current car situation.


          Jenna’s has written three letters thus far (one for each day since the party) and I have mailed two of them.  She has been disappointed that she has not received anything yet.  I tried to explain that even if Melody had written that very night and her mom actually mailed it (which actually is quite doubtful) that it still wasn’t enough time to deliver a letter – unless she should get one today.  I’ll make sure she gets one – though it won’t be from Melody.

          I actually put a letter out in the mailbox last night – figuring Jenna would find it this morning when she took Melody’s letter out.  I did not sign Melody’s name however.  I signed it “from your secret friend”.  Jenna is certain that it came from Melody.  The letter she wrote out this morning was addressed to “?”.  It is currently in a drawer ready to be mailed tomorrow.  Well, partially ready anyway.  I haven’t put it in an envelope.  I told Jenna to look for some postcards that she has.  I have postcard stamps.  I ran out of the other.

          She decided that she would send letters to another friend who lives in the neighborhood.  She has decided to sign her letters “your secret friend”.  Who knows, maybe we will get a chain reaction from this letter thing.  It does feel good to have her so excited about the “secret” correspondence.

          When I was younger I sent letters to other countries.  I wrote to a girl in Guyana and to one in Germany.  Perhaps I ought to find her a pen pal that will assist in helping her to learn Spanish – or having a desire to further her Spanish fluency.  I will have to find some addresses – I’d prefer keeping her in the country though as postage outside of US is close to or over a dollar.  Maybe if we send enough out, we’ll find someone who is just as excited to do it as Jenna.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Chua Thien Duc

         Jenna had a hard time after we moved in – often crying as we were waiting for the bus that would take her to school.  I am so grateful to Angie who took the incentive to befriend Jenna – though it was only for a couple of months.  They were really hoping to have a play date together.

          Angie’s mom worked – and so the only time we could come over was after dinner.  The first time we had gone over to play with Angie, her mother looked at me and asked what kind of pizza I liked.  We visited a bit while the girls played and then Angie’s mom put on a video.  Cinderella III – in Spanish.

          Jenna watched that show all the time – but in English.  But I was certain she’d still understand what was being said.  But that’s not why Jenna was there. She was hurt when Angie started watching the movie and paid little or no attention to Jenna.  We left before the movie ended.

          Angie had given Jenna a penguin she had made in school.  That was the last we saw of her.  Her family had moved out during fall break.

          Like so many houses around the nation (our last one included) the house had gone to foreclosure.   It hadn’t been completely vacant as family members continued to come and go – taking whatever possessions they could.  Often leaving possessions on the curb for any passerby who might be interested.  I think it was the beginning of summer when the new homeowners moved in.

          Flags everywhere.  I didn’t know what kind of flags.  I just thought they were party people who must have had a large number of children who had birthdays quite close together.  For every Saturday there was a large number of cars parked all around the house.

          One day Roland commented that it was a Church.  A church?  Really? Someone had converted Angie’s house into a church? 

          I actually hadn’t noticed the letters over the car port: Chua Thien Duc.  I remember looking it up.  I was told it is the name of a Vietmese temple.  Wow.  Angie’s family’s house had/has been converted into a temple?  Interesting. 

          I don’t have a problem with it.  I would rather have a religious organizational structure in my neighborhood than a crack house.  People are being fed. Uplifted.  They are growing in their faith and spreading their devotion.  And that’s cool.  It’s just kind of different to think I have been in the house when it was used as a house.  I’m certain that I would not even recognize whatever new makeover that’s been created.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Why can't we all be as Forgiving as Children?


The other night Jenna got her feelings hurt when Roland scolded her for her bad behavior and sent her to her room.  On the way she let out with, "I am never ever ever going to talk to you again."
Last night Roland worked his late shift and Jenna kept on asking for him because she missed him.

Kind of reminds me of the time when Jenna had a play date with one of her classmates from school.  Normally Howard and Jenna played pretty well together - but I could sense that Howard was NOT in the mood for Jenna's playful taunting.  We had both told her to let it go - but the more we told her NOT to taunt - the more she tried to egg him on. 

Howard made a dramatic exit from our house.  I couldn't let a five year old walk home by himself.  I grabbed Jenna's coat and hand and we hurried after him - with huge gaps between us. 
When he arrived at the corner I yelled to him NOT to cross the street - as he darted out and crossed by himself anyway.  Jenna hurriedly passed me and caught up to him to egg him on some more.  That just encouraged him to go even faster while I ran breathlessly behind. 
Howard finally made it to the gate of his front yard, opened the gate, closed the gate and yelled at Jenna, "I don't want to ever see you again for a hundred years!"
And Jenna yelled back the same, "Oh, yea.  Well I don't want to see you again for a hundred years!"

On the way home the tears turned into anger.  She and Howard were no longer friends.  They would no longer be getting married as they had planned.  The world had ended.
As I suspected from Howard's behavior, he hadn't felt well.  He remained sick at home for an entire week.  Both he and Jenna went through withdrawal.  A hundred years was too long.  Heck.  A hundred minutes was entirely too long.  It was quite a long week for both of them. We finally had to break down and call Howard to find out how he was doing. 

They forgot about being mad.  They forgot about the hundred year wait.  They were friends again.  And the wedding was back on.
Children seem so much more forgiving than adults do.  They don't hold grudges.  They don't let the world get in their way.  They are great examples - not always for getting along - but at least for bouncing back.  I think that's great.

Ever read Robert Fulghum's All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten?  Great book!  I would encourage everyone to read it.  And then apply it to your own lives.  I have a brother-in-law who seems to have applied this to his life.  He is truly one of the happiest people I know.  If we could all be more like children.  Childlike - but not childish.