When the Circle Gets Smaller

 

          I had first considered her mom’s friend before I had considered her my own.  I knew her from the ward and neighborhood.  She is the first one I remember having such a passion for genealogy (now more commonly known as family history).  She had grown up in foster care and had the desire to be connected.  She found a sister and her mother I believe.  I loved hearing her stories.  She taught family history classes and make arrangements to go to the genealogy library located downtown.  I was twelve at the time.  Definitely the youngest in the class.

          Yesterday Peggy had posted:

          “Another dear friend passed away this afternoon.”

Peggy’s mom had lived to be 106 and could still carry on a conversation.  In a way, it is hard to be that age when so many of your friends have passed on to the other side while you might feel left behind.  I thought how each of us have circles of friends and as we age death seems to linger nearer.  The sizes of the circle seems to deplete as death claims another.  Some are sad about it while others are at peace – depending on the circumstances.

Corey had made a comment on Peggy’s wall to wish his condolences.  Peggy responded to let him know that she would reveal our friend’s name as he knew her too.  The death was sudden.  She fell.  It sounds as though she died instantly and so it was very unexpected.  Sudden deaths can be hard on the family who haven’t had time to prepare, but from the experience I’ve had having many years to prepare – I think I would rather have my friend or family member go sudden than to have to watch them slowly go downhill.  I would also want sudden for me rather than to deal with constant pain for years.  I am a whimp.

I learned about another death while conversing with a pool buddy.  She said she had seen a former member and had learned his wife had passed (also a former pool buddy – one who used to climb the pool steps with half of all the pool workout equipment in hand.  I always marveled at that.  She had been battling with afflictions for over two years now but never complained – at least to us.  I think she mentioned it once or twice but didn’t dwell on it and seemed in good spirits though some days were obviously harder than others. Her son was the first one to teach Jenna the clarinet.

The instructor of the water workout class has been picking me up and taking me home.  She has a really hard time with death.  I wish it wasn’t so painful for her.  I also hope that I don’t come across as callous because my point of view has always been that death is not a bad thing.  There are some days in which death seems preferable to one’s condition.  I’ve had that in my life in which the pain was so bad that death seemed like a great alternate.  But I was able to bounce back from it.  It was only a temporary pain.  Some people don’t have that.  Some people are not able to breathe on their own, or may be bed ridden for the rest of their life. 

Attitude is crucial.  I’ve met many who have outlived their condition due to their amazing acceptance and upbeat personality.  I’ve also met many that are tired and have given up as they feel they are only existing rather than living.  So long as we keep ourselves active – but sometimes we don’t have control over our activity.  Sometimes we’re limited.  Death knows no boundaries. 

I think death for me will be a happy reunion with those who have gone before me – those I look forward to seeing again.  The circle will get large again.

I Would Have Rather Gone Through With the Family Outing to the Dentist

           Where do I start on this post?  At the beginning?  I don’t remember when the beginning was.  Sometimes I will see an ambulance parked (but still running) in front of one of my neighbors’ houses.  At least once I have seen a paramedic truck.  I have always wondered why they aren’t sent in clusters. 

          In Utah it seemed no matter what emergency vehicle we would specify, they would all show up.  I hadn’t seen that in Oregon since this post almost a year ago.  Jenna calls it cruel irony.  But let me back up again.

          Roland had an appointment to go to the dentist yesterday.  My appointment is not until July 29 but there was a cancellation for yesterday at 3:00.  How cool is that?  I charged both of my kindles expecting we’d fulfill this outlandish date.  Then they had another cancellation come up and asked if we could bring Jenna.  It was before Roland got off and so we would have to take two cars.

          The Saturn has been jerking and needs a new transmission.  We had even talked about whether to have it fixed or donate for tax purposes or what.  Truth be known, I do prefer driving the Saturn to the Impala.  The Impala really hurts my back and/or legs after a while – not that the Saturn doesn’t.  I guess it is a different pain that I can deal with better in the Saturn.  The Saturn is a city car.  It slows down with each hill it has to climb.

          Anyway, I have been driving the Impala to avoid the jerkiness.  But it was apparent that we would need both cars and so left the sluggish Saturn for Roland to drive to the dentist and thought I would drive it home.  Each of us would have a turn at each car but in different directions. 

          Smiles dental is located in Riddle.  It is about ten minutes away.  Yesterday I was about three minutes away from the dentist when the Impala collided with another car.  I did not even see the car until we hit. The car was silver but three of us had seen white.

Turning onto Pruner Rd. The road the two cars are on change
names at least six times.  The side with the black car is
Pruner Rd (which continues at the turn) while the white
car is on the side called Riddle Bypass Road. 

          I made a U-turn from where I was turning in order to pull off the road.  I did not see the other car again until after it was towed.  I had parked behind a man who hadn’t fully seen what happened but had heard it.  He, along with me and Jenna had seen white.  He made comment about how hard it is to see something white coming from that direction. I saw the car in real life about as well as what is on the above illustration.

         Good Samaritans had stopped their cars to ask if we were okay.  One of the drivers called 911. A volunteer firefighter was at the store close by and arrived on the scene within seconds.  He asked if we were okay and seemed to want to check us outside the car. It wasn’t until then that I realized my car door wouldn’t open wide enough for me to slip through – but he yanked it open.

          I am floored by how quickly and how many emergency vehicles arrived on the scene (and I’m certain that I didn’t even see them all).

 

It’s been less 24 hours and I’m still shaken up about it.  I suppose because I’ve had to recount what happened so many times.  Accidents happen so quickly and in my case I am always asking questions or coming up with “What if” scenarios. 

“Where was my brain two seconds ago?”

“Had I stopped or just slowed down?”

“Too bad we didn’t have the Saturn as it has sluggish problems as is;  I may have avoided this altogether”

“Oh, what would have happened if I had had the Saturn?  If I couldn’t open the door of the Impala I wouldn’t have been able to have been able to open at all.  My legs could have been severed!”

The excessive heat advisory was suppose to last throughout today, but the last two mornings have been so nice.  Overcast and cool.  The way it should be.  Perfect.

How blessed we were that we did not have to wait in the excessive heat. 

How blessed we were that neither Jenna and I were not injured.  The other driver unfortunately did receive pain to her knee.  Paramedics had looked her over, but she declined going to the hospital or other facility to get treatment.

How blessed we are with this community and all of those who volunteer their time and services.

The firemen were grateful to be holding signs and pushing brooms at the scene of an accident rather than being out fighting fires. 

Many blessings really.  Some that we may not even recognize right now, but possibly sometime in the future we can look back and say “I can’t believe the accident was a blessing.” 

I don’t know how the other driver views the situation.  She was worried about her son getting to work on time as she was delayed at getting to him to watch his children.  May she and her family be blessed as well.

Roland came and got us.  The deputy who took our information escorted us across the street to where he had parked.  Tow trucks arrived.  Jenna took several pictures.

our Saturn parked across the road

  

We were not hurt in the car accident, but did manage
to encounter this blackberry bush.  Had we needed
the paramedics, it would have been because of this.

A firefighter took this picture.  Another moment of
"What was I thinking?" as that was not my true
emotion.  Nothing about this photo implies that 
we were shaken up.

Progression of Our Back Room

 It's been hard having done without our second fridge - walking around or over piles of stuff - not being able to use the back door.  Oh, but it will be so worth it.  So here is the progress thus far:

Oh, blessed those who can work in this heat.  Levi must be part camel.  I am so excited for this new addition.

If Corona Didn’t Kill You Perhaps the Elements Will

             Our nation has issued a warning for extreme heat

in the western states.  The sun had not fully risen

this morning when I took Bonnie out for

the shortest walk ever. 

Alexa informed me that the temperature

was 75 degrees fahrenheit –

Google said 73. 

It felt lke 80

– at least. 

 

I wonder if those people who were so skeptical

to believe the seriousness of the cornonavirus

believe that the weather is a hoax. 

I wonder if they will allow themselves

to dehydrate because

“nobody can tell me to drink water. 

I should be able to choose”

 

I wonder if they think the elements are

a conspiracy started by another country. 

I wonder if they believe how much nicer

the weather would be if

Trump was still in office. 

75 degrees and climbing! 

It’s not even 7:00 a.m. yet!

Throwing Hands part two

             Filling out online applications is insane.  You think you are filling out the application for the site and suddenly realize that you have moved to some other site – perhaps job related as well or for a school or heaven forbid, a scam.  That’s right. 

I have three different email accounts.  One I had to open in order to create this blog account.  One I keep as a personal account.  The oldest of the three accounts I keep as a junk mail account.  I used to check it maybe once a month.  Since I’ve been job hunting I will check either daily or at least every other day.  It’s still a lot of email to go through.  I checked it only one time during the week we had family here.  After Roland had taken them to the airport I had over 200 emails to wade through.

Any site I have ever ordered from, any site connected with the schools in Utah, any job site I have ever looked at and then some are among the emails that I currently receive.  Some have posted the same position over and over.  I have applied, even interviewed and have not been hired.  

Some positions are questionable – especially all of those who appear from the woodwork that have “seen my file online” and try to sell me on “I think you would be the perfect fit”  - for telemarketing, for selling insurance – really?  You read my application?  What part of my application led you to believe that I want anything to do with soliciting product?  I have been in education.  I have an accounting degree.  I don’t wish to be a part of your trafficking's, thank you very much!

Roland gets a ton of Robo-calls.  I am so sick of criminals preying on the weaknesses of those who can’t afford to be taken in by the scams.  If you type in Jashin Insurance, for example, it will take you to the Jashin Insurance website – built for suckers who are willing to supply personal information that they should provide only after being hired by said company.  

Do NOT give your information over the phone or over the web.  Don’t provide your social security number or credit card number to anyone who calls you.  We need more honesty and trust.  There is so much skepticism due to illegal activity.  Fortunately we have a higher power than ourselves.  I will definitely turn to Him before I invest information in all these recruiting scams.  How else I’m I going to know when the legit finally comes along?

Don’t Jump to Conclusions but Give the Benefit of the Doubt

          The “Come Follow Me” lesson for last week was sections 64 – 66.  The theme for section 66 is on forgiveness.  It made me reflect back to the talk given in sacrament on the day my family arrived.  I believe he said he had based it on Elder Bednar’s talk from the October 2006 General Conference here. 

          The message of the talk was to not take offense.  There are many of us who take offence due to the actions or words used by others – or so we suspect.  But perhaps the “offender” is not even aware that we were offended. It’s not likely that the “offender” had gone out of his or her way to offend us but more likely that we misinterpreted.

          I have shared these two examples here and here in which I was the offender.  It reminded me of this skit

                How many times have I been in Ernie’s shoes? How many times have I thought up things that didn’t deserve the reaction I gave?  How many times have I jumped to conclusions rather than give another the benefit of the doubt?  I try to understand the other’s point of view.  I know I can be friends with those that don’t share my beliefs.  

https://www.virtuesforlife.com/why-com
passion-is-incredible-for-your-health/

            As I age I have become wiser about some issues while my understanding is still fogged about other matters.  I want to be accepting.  I want to have better communication skills.  I want to understand another without being judgmental about a certain situation. 

          I am grateful for the opportunities to learn and for Heavenly Father’s love.  May I continue to strive to be an example unto Him.

Will Mr. Gobbles Die on that Hill? or Will He Find His Way Home?

         I don’t know where I might have been when the turkeys came into our yard for the first time. I must have been picking the girls up from the farm or dropping them off.  I remember Roland saying the neighbor from behind us stood on our door step with a net and asked permission to go and recapture her turkeys.

The chickens and pigs had made their way to our yard in mid-August but we did not see another turkey until just before Thanksgiving.  Jenna named him Mr. Gobbles.  He had made it through the Thanksgiving holiday but was gone before Christmas.  They have since added a couple of turkeys to their menagerie. A different Mr. Gobbles is currently pacing back and forth on our side of the hill.  He has been there all day trying to figure out how to return from whence he came.

As I mentioned in an earlier post Roland will no longer feed or water the chickens.  Well, he does use the hose on them whereas before he would fill up containers, but not anymore.  They ruined his cucumbers and nearly spoiled our tomatoes – but as our cukes were ruined anyway, we took down the fencing and put it around the tomatoes.

When Randy and Carrie visited, Jenna took Devan out to feed the chickens.  But we had stopped feeding before they left and taken the rest of the food up to Roseburg to feed the ducks.  On Tuesday Roland used the hose to chase all the hens up the hill.  He and the elders used the remaining chicken wire to attach to the neighbors fence to hold back the fowl.  The neighbor gave Roland and basket of eggs which he in turn gave to the missionaries after discovering 20 or so eggs that the hens decided to lay under the tarp that we have over an assortment of odds and ends that were on the deck.

The chickens don’t need to be in our yard anyway.  We are having a back room added to the house and the chickens have a habit of being in the way. Yesterday one of the smaller hens found a way into our yard.  Roland said that he saw one of the brown hens as well.  Today it was Bruce and Mr. Gobbles.  Roland said he squirted both and Bruce finally returned.  Mr. Gobbles remains clueless

The progress on our new room has seemingly come to a halt as we wait for an inspector.  The base isn’t even finished.  I miss being able to hang my towels and swimsuit on the line after I return home from the pool.