Dash #MT42 My mom, the Caregiver

Name a strength that you really admire about your mom

            My mom was raised in San Francisco but had moved to Salt Lake after she married my dad.  His family became her family.  I remember mom as a caregiver to three particular family members starting with my dad’s maternal grandmother – though I don’t have many memories of her when she was healthy.  I don’t know why.  I was old enough that I should have more memories of her at her Magna house than I do.  It was a very teeny house where she had raised her family.  It boggles my mind, really.

            I don’t know how old I was when she was sent to the nursing home – or if her mind was slipping at the time that she was brought in. It saddens me at how many elderly are left at nursing homes and rarely, if ever, visited.  This was Grandma Helen’s mom.  I remember mom picking up Grandma H. to visit Grandma Greenwood.  Often we would go visit without taking Grandma Helen.  
            Corey still had curls in his blonde hair and would often get mistaken for a girl.  He developed a love for the elderly at an early age and would often make his own rounds as mom visited with Grandma G.  Many of the residence would claim Corey as their “granddaughter” and though Corey wished that he’d been recognized as a boy, he enjoyed the attention.  In a way, I suppose Corey believed that they were all his grandparents.

            I don’t recall how many years my grandma was at the nursing home.  I don’t remember how many visitors she received, but I do remember how diligent my mom was about visiting her.  I also remember sharing a Christmas miracle with Grandma G. when she sang Christmas carols with us one year.

            Grandma G. died two days before my Aunt Alice was married.  Grandma H. had asked me to speak at her funeral.  I mentioned how her mind and body had been so frail that she would not have been able to attend Aunt Alice’s wedding any other way except in Spirit. I believe Aunt Alice was Grandma G.’s eldest grand-daughter.

            As Grandma H. continued to age, mom would drive her to doctor appointments and the store for medication and other errands.  Grandma H. had taken a bad fall and broken her leg.  As she couldn’t get around, she was put in rehab.  She never came home.  As I recall, she was still wearing the full-leg cast when she passed away.  I believe that mom was with her.

            Corey said he remembered coming home and found Patrick was doing the dishes and wondered why.  He later recalls the phone ringing and hearing Patrick say, “I can’t right now.  My grandma just died.”

            Corey said he figured something was up when he saw Patrick was doing the dishes and was shocked at the news he had related over the phone – wondering if he had misheard, but didn’t want to ask as if he was wrong as it felt morbid to say that is what he understood.

            I helped my mom take care of my dad.  I did not have the experience that she had had with my great grandma and grandma.  I loved my dad and it was hard watching someone who had taken care of me lose his ability to physically control his legs and speech among other things.  I’m sure that it was harder for mom to watch her spouse go through that.

            I admire my mom for her service.  She is such a great example of devotion – not just to my dad, his mother and grandmother, but to each of her children as well.  I really miss my mom.