On Sunday I was told to go into the room where the young women meet as the stake presidency wanted at least one parent for every youth to sit in. The subject was a sensitive subject but seemed to be approached from a different angle but still with a hint of snobbery. One of the stake president's counselors was showing a slide show and had used this as an example of "Satan trying to divert your attention away from him"
referring to the "fox" as Satan. Okay, Satan can be clever, but others can be clever without deception. Some people are better at "fitting in" than others. But at whose expense do we fit in?
The teens were asked if they know of others who are living together without being married. My reaction: "My son Biff and his girlfriend Claire." The idea of living together was compared to test-driving cars. I know of several couples who waited and were married in the temple and are now divorced. I know of couples who had lived together long before they married and are still together. Imagine that.
Statistics prove this. Statistics prove that. Maybe I am that fox. Maybe I'm an exception. My family doesn't fall into the statistics. I don't fall into the statistics. Not now. Not in Oregon. I am a person. Not a statistic.
Moving on. Same-sex attraction. You can have those attractions, but if you act upon those attractions, you are doomed. You can still be friends with those who have same-sex attraction but let them know what makes you happy. Following the commandments makes us happy. Okay. I can understand this and even follow it for myself. Being LDS makes me happy. Uhh . . . sometimes, perhaps often, but not always. There have been times I have felt ashamed not necessarily by WHAT was taught but HOW it was being taught - as though we are superior to anyone who acts upon same-sex desires or moves in together. Why do they assume that it is always connected with drugs and alcohol? Aren't there just as many straight people who turn to drugs and alcohol? Aren't there several couples who were not only married but sealed in the temple who stray because of restrictions or calling abuse or hurt feelings? How many couples do I know who have put on a show for the sake of the church only to have it blow up in their faces? Perhaps it's the feeling of loss when church and family may say one thing but do little with their actions to back up their words that make an individual turn to drugs hoping to get a sense of satisfaction.
How many times have members been shocked when the "good Mormons" - idealistic even - announce: "We're getting a divorce." Sometimes the pressure of the church (not the gospel, but the expectations and stipulations) is more than we can handle. Sometimes we are not happy because of a value someone else had expected to be there.
I sat in the back. I kept my mouth shut, hoping to be led by the spirit. The president asked how many had family members who are involved with the opposite sex. Jenna raised her hand and was presented a follow-up question in which she responded that she wished she hadn't answered. One leader volunteered information about a family member on facebook who's life had gone downhill once he announced his desire for a man. One of the youth volunteered that she is now being homeschooled so that she is not around those who make poor choices. The way she said it was very snobby like anyone not living up to her standards are beneath her. Fortunately for all of us, Christ doesn't feel that way.
I couldn't agree with the comments. My brother was miserable when he was active in the church. But it's a part of him and he understands the values. He also understands the policies and politics. After he came out, a burden was lifted. He has a wonderful husband. They have three cats. They don't drink, smoke, swear or anything that was somehow presented as being connected. Corey and Joh are two of the most awesome examples of true followers of Christ. They are happy, not because of their lifestyle, but rather the choices that they've made. They are happy because they "give" to others. They are pleasant people to be around. They don't fit the statics or the stereotypical biases. But Corey is not a member of the Church. He could not stay in the church and be with Joh. Joh makes him happy. The church did not. He still lives the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Statements that are not fact: "I was born this way" uh, yeah. It isn't necessarily something you are swayed into - which I think was the theme of the slideshow - being swayed, being distracted. There are several health issues such peanut allergies that didn't seem to be such a huge concern when I was growing up. I did know one girl in my elementary school who was allergic to milk. Today some places have actually discontinued serving peanut butter or cooking with peanut oil because of the tremendous amount of people who are allergic to peanuts. I think because of the wide variety of people produce who inter-marry or have affairs and make mistakes or whatever, the genes have been altered and there are just more health issues as a result. I also think it's true of personality. Jenna is friends with so many walks of life right now. Homosexuals and transgenders are among those that she chooses to hang with as they share other things in common and she doesn't put conditions on anybody.
This video was shown to prove the point of convincing power. People can be swayed for good and for bad. Don't members of the church often use this tool? Don't some missionaries try this tool out for themselves? Not every set of missionaries are compatible. Not everyone who joins the church remains active.
We all laughed at the video. It was done in fun. But I did have two thoughts go through my head. The pressure from bullies (though it might not fit the definition of how many might perceive bullying, they were having fun at someone else's expense) and the one from the "Emporers New Clothes" who has the courage to say "I am not going along with this; I can see that he is naked".
I do my best to encourage all youth not to go along with the crowd and to stand up for themselves and be who they are - even if presents a difficult choice that might cost you (giving up something [or someone] for something else) just be sure to invite God into being a part of your decision. Doing something that is God's will can also be difficult. Joseph Smith's life may have seemed like it may have been easier if he had just said "tired of the mobs, tired of the ridicule. Nope. I don't want to do this anymore."
Each of us have our own definition of what makes us happy. Living the gospel makes me happy. "Holier Than Thou" attitudes do not. Leadership suggestion makes me happy sometimes. Prayer is my communication with God. It is up to me to follow His guidance.
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