I have followed a few blogs off and on. Many of the creators have stopped posting. Others have closed for privacy or discontinued the blog altogether. My niece had three blogs going - though not all simultaneously. The first one was one that a friend had started when they were living in Thailand in the summer of 2011. She had started another the year that my mother died. Her first post was a tear jerker. She made some profound thoughts - much like her mother. I have wished that Sunny would create a blog to post to.
Ellen (not her real name. Unlike Corey and I, she uses the real actual names in her blogs) started off her first post mentioning how every journal she starts will include a history of herself. I can relate to that. I have tried cramming my entire life into a few pages - often repeating myself and then slowly drifting away from it only to start over again later on. I absolutely love her profound thoughts and her ability to comparing her entries to puzzle pieces hoping that someday the pieces will all fit into one finished puzzle.
She writes how early in her marriage she felt that she had been forced into responsibilities that she was not prepared to handle. Perhaps "force" is not the correct word. It was just an awkward situation for all of us - a situation which a newly married couple shouldn't have to deal with. I think there may have been some resentment on my part as well.
In 2009 the economy had treated so many unkindly. We were in jeopardy of losing our house. We had two boys on missions and were in need of temporary housing. I had asked my mom if we could stay with her for a while. I figured that it would be good for her as it was for us because her dementia was starting to kick in and we knew it was only a matter of time before her mind got worse. I also knew that Biff would be able to lift her if she were to fall. Someone would have been with her around the clock. I don't think either of my brothers believed her condition would worsen as quickly as it did. We did not move in with my mom. I suppose I felt a bit miffed a few years later when I learned that Nate and Ellen were moving in. It wasn't anything personal. It was the dementia. Mom hadn't even remembered my asking.
She seemed pretty normal for the first year that Nate and Ellen had moved in with her. But by their second year, mom's mind was being robbed of any present or future common knowledge and often diverted into the past. Nate and Ellen were still newlyweds. Their living arrangements in helping to care for mom turned into way more than they had bargained for. Of course, it did! Ellen was struggling with her emotions. I was too - and I wasn't under the same roof as Ellen was. I can understand her resentments and frustrations. I really can.
The name of her first post was called " Don't Be Sorry" It's her description of the situation and seeing my mom in the assisted living that tugged at my heartstrings. Even now - 5 years later. Well, just over 5 years. Her first post was on July 28, 2013 - just over five weeks before my mom passed. Her last post was on June 25, 2017 "Define Your Dash #25". On January 1 of that same year, she had accepted the "Define Your Dash" challenge - or had attempted it rather - although she had pretty much been "defining her dash" all along. I don't know if she made that connection or had ever thought of it that way. So what exactly does it mean to "Define One's Dash"?
This website here gives us a glimpse into what the "dash" represents. It is the "line" between the birthdate and the death date as written on a grave marker or funeral program.
It is the "dash" - or time between birth and death. This post gives a bit of insight to those who may not have "defined their dashes" or perhaps the discovery still needs to be made. Defining your dash is to write down your memories, your recollections, your history. It is what makes you. By writing what your "dash" is, you are defining what that "line" represents.
There are 52 writing suggestions found here that remind me of the pieces of paper I can retrieve from my journal jar here, though I like the symbolic meaning for the "dash" or "line" between the two dates. That is our life! We need to write a legacy for our families so that we are more than just two dates etched in stone. 52 suggestions to outline the year if you were to write one each week. Ellen posted 25 of them. For Linda Ellis's full poem about the dash, see here. Feel inspired. Write for yourself. Write for your posterity.
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