Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

A Week Without Posts


          I think I have mentioned both Roland and Jenna have had some nasty colds, but I seemed fine until Saturday - the 10th.  I had gone to the church as the presidency were holding interviews for those who are visiting teachers.  I could feel a sore throat coming on.  Even when I agreed to teach Relief Society only eight days later.

          I went to church on Sunday, the 11th.  I did not stay for choir because I didn't want to strain my throat.  Last week I did a lot of napping (cough medicine knocks me out) and preparing for both primary and RS lessons.  I also participated in a class discussion on a topic that I didn't fully understand.  I took the assessment (midterm) and apparently turned in my discussion notes instead of the assignment.  Brilliant.

          My lesson for the Relief Society went rather well.  I wish I could say the same for my primary class. We reviewed the last couple of weeks and I started my lesson by introducing the class to Lot.  Carly interrupted me several times with non-gospel related "concerns".  She had brought snacks for everyone and wondered if she could pass them out.  While I commended her for her desire to share with the class, I also pointed out how inappropriate I thought it was for her to continue interrupting my lesson and reminded her that it was actually a short lesson but I would have to get through it before she was allowed to pass out snacks.  

          I also continued to remind the class that perhaps one day we will meet with Danny's class to play a game and wouldn't that be awesome if our class was able to provide more correct answers than hers.  That seems to work better on the class as a whole than the snacks or the ribbons.  The passport has been working out well for us - though I have not used it with any of my "Abraham" lessons.

          Tina was trying hard to hang onto my every word.  I really appreciated that and told her mom so when she greeted me after I had given the lesson in Relief Society.
          Yesterday was definitely not my best day.  It felt as though I was agitated about every little thing.  First off there was the topic discussion for my class:

これが会計を理解する方法です。 私は間違ったキャリアを間違いなく選んだ。 私の夫は私が仕事を取れると思っています - Я просто не понимаю. Все это так чуждо мне. В любом случае, перевод может быть неточным. У меня есть последователи из России, которые могут прочитать эту часть. Приношу свои извинения за любые нарушения вашего языка. Это не намеренно. Я просто пытаюсь продемонстрировать, насколько иностранный учет (особенно предмет акций и облигаций) мне кажется대해 이해하고 있을지 모르지만 나는 그렇지 않습니다. 일본어, 포르투갈어, 아랍어, 회계. . . 얼굴에 벙어리 표현을 참조하십시오
題ありません。ムーディーズ・インベスターズ・サービスとスタンダード・アンド・プアーズ・コーポレーションは、公的債務問題の格付けを提供している。قد يكون لديك فهم لكل من هذه الشخصيات ، لكني لا أفعل. اليابانية ، البرتغالية ، العربية ، المحاسبة. . . انظر التعبير الغبي على  私はバイナリコードを読むことができなければ問題になるでしょう - 私はできませ01010010 01100101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00111111 00100000 00100000

This may not be an accurate translation.  Doesn't matter.  I can neither read nor understand what it says.  That is how I see accounting.  I just don't understand so many terms.  I am constantly looking up words in the dictionary or accounting glossary and then looking up more words to understand the dang definitions.  Awwhhhh!!!


          I received a  notice in the mail describing a problem I have already addressed several times.  Obviously it hasn't been resolved.  More hair pulling.  Can't communicate with a machine.  Doesn't understand me.  I don't know WHY it asks for my account number.  Whenever I finally get a human, I have to provide my account number again.

          First time the machine says it will allow me through, it claims there is a 15 second wait.  It was longer than 15 seconds before I was cut off.  I call again.  After going through all the rigmarole and hair-pulling for the second time, the machine says I have a minute wait and cuts me off again.  What the hey?  Come on!!!  I storm up an email - which I decide to send to my husband before sending it to customer support - for I know that I'm angry, and although I do wish to express my annoyance, I don't want to be so unkind that they don't want to return my call just to be hung up again.  He tries.  The wait is 7 minutes.

          Meanwhile, I need to call the mortgage company to let them know that we have been contacted by our insurance agency to let us know that mortgage and insurance haven't seemed to make a connection.  Oh, great.  Another problem that may get me fired up.

          "We're sorry.  We are experiencing high volume call.  You will be on hold for 20 minutes."  What????  At least the last company that usually doesn't hang up on me does usually give me the option of calling me back.  And they actually do.  I go to their website on their suggestion.  I fill out their form and write a message.  There is no send button!  I have filled out their form and cannot send it.  What kind of a scam is this.  Now I am livid!!!

          I knew I needed to calm down.  I knew that I wasn't in the correct frame of mind to post a blog.  I still have to figure out my discussion topic.  I still have to call the mortgage company.  It's a wonder I'm not bald. 

          Stay tuned for "St. Patrick's Grunge Pledges" and "By Divine Design - Relief Society"

Friday, December 15, 2017

Don't Recall Ever Having Used a Charter Before




            Currently I am taking two classes through the University and one for the library.  All three are online.  Currently two have to do with project charters.

            I hadn't made the connection of the Grants Magic class being related to any of my schooling courses until after I contributed my thoughts to the discussion of my other charter class.  We were supposed to come up with a scenario in a situation gone wrong and how more productive it would have been to use a charter.  I had read some material and looked at countless videos and was still at a loss.  I sent a few links over to my husband and asked him to please review and dummy it down for me.  How would I possibly be able to explain how a charter would work for me if I haven't ever remembered using one before.

             Roland did come up with a situation that in which we had adapted the plan (or charter) of another but it really wasn't accurate to what I thought that I needed. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I think a lot of trial and error has to take part before one actually knows what to plan. It wasn't just me that lacked understanding.  This particular week seems to have the entire class at a loss.  The scenario I finally came up with is one we are currently trying to smooth over, and that is the library staff and functions of the facility.

            As of now, our library is not even considered a public library by definition, but rather a third party operation.  There are many who are willing to assist in order to keep the existence of the library, but not everybody knows quite "how" to assist. Not everyone has been trained.  Not everyone is qualified to handle every aspect of what needs to be done.  Our leaders have been spread too thin or else haven't quite gotten the gist of all things either.

            My instructor had asked permission to use my example in her lecture.  Wow.  I must have had a better handle on it than I thought.   Still there are several class members who are still in the "Huh?" stage.  I answered one class mate using the example of Roger Bushell the great escape found here and here.  I wasn't able to create a project charter for the library as my understanding of the entire aspect is still limited.  In order to assist my fellow classmates with something visual, I also created this mock charter according to my own understanding and shared it with the class.



            I realize I've written many thoughts in this post that my average reader may not understand.  Welcome to My World!  This is where I am Roger Bushell had served in the British military during World War II and was known for planning and assisting in great escapes from prison camps.  When he arrived in what the Germans believed was an escape-proof camp, Roger was asked to assist with the largest escape on record.  Roger accepted the challenge and met each prisoner of the camp in order to utilize each skill so that the entire camp would be able to work together to make this escape.
          Now a written charter would not have worked as they couldn't risk having the German soldiers know what they were planning.  Several teams had been created to help the plan to move along.  Some teams would dig tunnels, some teams would hide the underground dirt,  there was even a team of prisoners practicing Christmas carols as a means to cover up the noise of the digging.  It was actually quite a genius plan.

          Without the verbal charter or organization of the teams and specific jobs of communicating and working together, the prisoners would have not been able to dig the tunnels or make their escape (WWII). Each of these team members would also have a project charter.  Danny (and Danny was not actually the leader in the movie, but was the only name I could think of) would assign his team members to dig certain parts of the tunnel and send another team member to collect something to hold the tunnels in place.  Hector would select music and pretend to lead his choir in beat with the hammer (or other tool being used) and the scavenger has to work with all groups to learn what is needed and what to steal or trade.  Probably not the best example of a charter, but I think this is how it works.  I asked for the class or instructor to please correct me if I'm wrong - and perhaps add their own thoughts and fill in the blanks that I still don't understand.


            A proposal was made at the last library meeting I attended for four teams to work on finances, PR, training;  I forget the other.  I signed up for training.  We have a new check in/check out system (no longer on cards and pockets . . . yea!), public computer assistance and Dewey decimal filing that we need to take care of.  Those are the three big ones that I see. Each team should create a charter similar to that above and break each group down even further.

            We need to utilize the talents of our volunteers so that we can know how often to schedule, who specializes best in each area and how they will best work together.  I would really like the opportunity to assist in training and get to know each volunteer.  As of now, I really don't know many of the volunteers and so I don't know where their strengths are or where they feel most comfortable.

Reference:

Project Charter. (2017). Retrieved from GoLeanSixSigma.com: https://goleansixsigma.com/project-charter/


Sturges, J (Director). (1963). The Great Escape [Motion Picture].


Squadron Leader Roger Joyce Bushell. (n.d.). Retrieved from Pegasus Archive: http://www.pegasusarchive.org/pow/roger_bushell.htm


World War Two – The Great Escape. (2016). Retrieved from History on the Net: https://www.historyonthenet.com/world-war-two-the-great-escape/


 

Saturday, August 26, 2017

To Be Independent or Part of the System

            I went to my first  Library Futures Task Force meeting - only it isn't called that anymore.  The meeting was referred to as Douglas County Library Rescue Coalition.  About 100 people (I thought it had been more) attended the meeting in Winston last Thursday (August 17).  I think most were volunteers, some onlookers and concerned citizens, some who would like the libraries to continue to operate just as  they had before, some there for support, some there to share newfound growth and remain independent ; cooperative but not restricted . . .

            Mary Kay - who represents the state - was there to raise awareness and provide options for those who needed or wanted the support.  The libraries who seem to be most successful would like to share materials but not guidance that feels mandatory.  Most representatives expressed that they are doing fine without the stipulations of those who  think that they are trying to make things better/easier.



            The smaller communities have seem to established successful growth.  It is the larger cities that struggle.  The smaller cities have city support.  The larger ones don't seem to - at least that is how it is in our case.  We are not among the largest of cities in the county, though larger than most.  Reedsport is the largest city to have their library underway.  Kudos for all those from Reedsport who attend.  They are located on the coast far away from the rest of the county.  I always thought it looked odd geographically.  I don't know if they ever felt included or excluded because of their location.

            Next to Reedsport, Myrtle Creek may actually be the largest library after Sutherlin - though I don't think "library" is the correct term as they are not checking out books, but offering as a reading room.  Perhaps I should have paid greater attention. 

            The smaller cities sign up many volunteers.  The larger cities don't general get as many who are willing to make the time to volunteer.  In our community we have a large number who are interested.  We also have just as many who are definitely not willing to support the cost of a library.  At least three of those members serve on the council at city hall.  And there are three who are in favor of keeping the library.  We are located in the original library building on a trial basis.  After a year, we may have to move again.  Downtown parking doesn't seem as convenient.  But there is a building available (in fact several) if needs be.  Right now we are using it to store  overflow book sale items.  Perhaps it will be opened to the public soon. 

            There are/WERE 11 cities with libraries.  Each was represented at the meeting.  Glendale might be are least populated city, though I don't imagine that Oakland and Drain are too far behind.  When the measure for the county didn't pass, Drain had their own election as  city and there were four more votes for saving the library than not;  currently they are the only city in the county with a paid librarian.  Glendale checks out with cards and pockets and may not ever be able to do it the check out the modern way as I understand there is no internet available in Glendale anymore.  That bites.  But I am so happy that they have reopened and have the support.  I think Glendale needs their library more than we do.

            Riddle and Reedsport have already chosen to remain independent - even before attending the meeting.  I think Mary Kay and Douglas County Library Rescue Coalition were disappointed with some of the reaction from the libraries who chose to run independently, but really the correspondence between library reps has been even greater than when we were a county library.  There is a lot of newsfeed and sharing and definite structure and not always waiting for the big head cheese. 

            Those that came out of concern for Winston and Roseburg - Roseburg especially - didn't seem very satisfied.  We have added items to those that belong to the county, but only the county ones come up in the system. Currently we are open more hours than any other library in the county.  We were open three or four days each week during the summer.  We are talking about changing our hours for the school year so that it can be used after school.  We will probably be open less hours.  I don't know for certain.

              As a whole the libraries do seem to be working well together.  We share information and have given one another great support.  Overall I think the feedback from each representative was very positive.  It appears that we are the only library to carry insurance on our volunteers.

           At the time of the meeting, we were checking items in and out by hand - using cards and pockets - which we still have to do for non-county things.  But as of Monday (Solar Eclipse Day) we have been able to scan county items and check items out the modern way.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Where My Discussion Post Ends and My Blog Post Begins

          When I was in my twelvth mod, I had two classes.  I would try to attend the live lecture of each class.  I think I had attended all four lectures in my algebra class - perhaps only three.  Fortunately there was no problem with the hook-up system (the school uses a program called Zoom) but the instructor in my management class would always have a problem with the system cutting out or recording only audio or video, but not both.  It generally happened whenever she played a video in addition to her lecture.  I told her to stop showing videos and just send us the links.  I don't know if it would have made any difference.

          Last mod I also had two classes - two accounting classes.  I still don't understand the language, but I actually did well in both classes.  That is amazing considering what torture it was trying to get into a live lecture or (in most cases) listen to the recording . . . as it wasn't just one or two instructors having issues with Zoom;  the entire school was affected.  That is what Roland had told me anyway.  Not only is he a full time student at the same online school as I am, but is employed with them as well.

          This mod I am taking only one class (hooray) again in accounting (boo) and I don't know if Zoom has been fixed or not.  Thus far it does not look promising.  No one in the class appears to have been contacted by our instructor - usually he or she will introduce self or remind us of upcoming lecture or something.  There was supposed to be a live lecture yesterday, which starts at the same time as the children's summer reading program. I had already made a commitment to summer reading.  In addition, it seems I have been recruited to be the story lady - for the last two weeks anyway. 


          Yesterday the library (or the one in charge of the program rather) decided to celebrate SpongeBob's birthday and shared some trivia while children were coloring.  I shared Allison Jackson's "There was an old lady who swallowed a pie" - only I changed the wording a little bit and used SpongeBob as the character instead of an old lady, asking the children between each item of food, "do you think he'll die?"  they would always answer "No"  and they were right.

          I like Allison Jackson's version better than the original "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly"  because (with the exception of one item) her story deals with real food and no one dies.

          Neither Jenna nor I are avid SpongeBob fans - in fact we'd be okay with knowing that he had croaked.  But the idea of a sponge and some of Allison Jackson's rhymes gave me an opportunity to educate rather than just read or tell.


          So back to my accounting - I was hoping to watch the lecture before posting my discussion to perhaps get a better idea of what is expected.  As of now, I don't even know if my instructor tried to give the lecture or if he has started working for the university this week or is on sabbatical or what.  His discussion post was created on Saturday before the class had even started.

          Our topic is on importance of accurately accounting for costs in Job Order Cost Accounting.  Also, discuss the consequences of errors in this area. From what I understand, overhead charges and cost of labor that must be paid by the company is figured in the cost that a consumer must pay.

          The video example that had been given is building a burger and breaking down the cost of said burger.  There is the obvious cost for the meat, the bun and other ingredients, but the breakdown also includes the employee's wage.  Just suppose he was getting paid 10.00 an hour and it takes 3 minutes for him (or her) to build each burger.  That is 3 minutes to every 60 or 5% of 10.00.  and a predetermined overhead cost.

          The cost of electricity (for instance) is not figured into each burger, per se.  Utilities, indirect labor [that would be the supervisor making certain the employees are working, or the time spent cleaning (or idling) after all the customers have been served], indirect materials [someone has to pay for the cost of that grill] and property taxes or rent) are all part of that predetermined rate.  All of those costs are all added up together for the year and then more math is deducted and combined and made into a percentage that is also added to the cost of the burger.



          One of my class mates used auto labor as an example which I was actually able to understand a little more and have been trying to come up with my own examples using my false lawn care service from my former management class, or the cost of labor that we have seen (and will expect to see more) for the demolition and restoration of our floor, walls and spaces in between.  Thus far we've had to dole out checks for the plumber, the electrician and the pest control.  All with overhead costs - though we don't understand why on the electrician.

          Roland had asked for a card and wondered if he would be able to make a deal with trading services for a future project.  Wiring in the front room to put in a ceiling fan for new cards and marketing.  This area really needs to be educated in marketing. They either don't believe about it or know about it or care.  The font on the business cards was very hard to read.  Roland thought the shape of the font looked like an anchor.  I thought it looked like an open mouth - like perhaps a dentist would use.  I don't know what the overhead would be.  There is no sign on the truck.  I don't know how their pricing breaks down.  I suspect they can charge what they want as there doesn't seem to be any competition.

          I personally am not impressed with big vans and trucks bearing fancy names - especially now that I know it is part of my cost and I don't wish to support brand names when they have so many employees that the company has lost sight of them as well as the consumers.  Let me give a "for instance" which I wasn't planning to call by name, but because of my dissatisfaction, I want to warn others about why I stopped using the services of a certain company.

          Whipple Plumbing and Heating is a chain in Utah (Salt Lake/Ogden areas) which I believe has gotten too big for its breeches.  I don't know how many employees it staffs nor do I understand why we tried their services several times.  We ALWAYS had to call them to return to finish or correct a job and then ended up calling someone else to permanently fix it.

          I think they were called three times while we lived in Kearns and twice in West Valley.  For the poor plumbing issues (one project, never resolved by Whipple) we had three different guys, none which corrected the mistake of the other, we finally called an elderly man that Roland had been in contact through some clients of his. 

          Elwin Shipley arrived in his unmarked truck and fixed the problem.  He was awesome!  He fixed problems one time.  If you were to contact him again, it would be for a different problem.  Unlike Whipple, who got it right only one time (which will be my next paragraph), Elwin didn't charge an arm and a leg.  He didn't need to.  He didn't have the extra overhead cost.  I wasn't paying for the logo on his truck.  (Whipple had definitely figured a LOT of overhead expenses - had I continued to use them, I would have probably ended up paying for an entire fleet of trucks)

          Whipple had a promotion on toilets and as ours had to be replaced, we gave them another try (first one in WV).  The plumber who came out was very friendly toward Jenna and the dog and just a down to earth wholesome guy - or so it appeared.  He said that when I called, I could ask for a specific plumber.  That was our exception.  That was the only thing that we didn't have to have work redone on.

          Because I had liked the plumber, when another situation we had required plumbing services, I called Whipple with another opportunity and the name of the plumber who seemed to have the attitude "I've got you in my snare now, I don't have to be nice to you."

          Perhaps he was just having a bad day - perhaps there had been a recent death in the family or someone in his flipped him off on his way to work . . .  who knows.  The point is he just rubbed me the wrong way.  That was the last time we used Whipple.



          My discussion post was about Gil's heating and air conditioning - a business that relies on word of mouth.  I just thought of another.  Remarkable Rooter also gets the job done.  WITHOUT THE OVERHEAD!  Why pay more?  Really?  Because the competition has a brand name and drive a fancy van?  My consumer attitude may get me into trouble with my classes . . . although they haven't so far.  Did I mention that I LOVE living in a small town with an ignorance to marketing?  Well, I do.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

VENTING


What is up with Roland picking the absolute hottest part of the day to do the yard?  Would you believe we actually had the heat on this morning and now I am attempting to cool off as I sit beside the A/C?  What fickle weather we have.



Speaking of weather – I will be using the bizarre weather to promote my pretend business that I’m now in the process of creating for my assignment for the next four weeks.  If imagination counts, I should do well in the class. 



So I was actually on the tail end of this week’s assignment  (which may vary from week to week – I don’t know) when I received a text from my sister indicating that my facebook had been hacked.  Oh, great.  I signed onto facebook and discovered three more p.m. to inform I’ve been hacked.  Now four, five . . . I also was expecting a call and had to prepare for that – plus Roland needs me to take pictures of him on a weekly basis so that he can send them in to his health advisor and even though I had taken the pics, I hadn’t sent them over.  The frustration was setting in and swallowing me up the way algebra does.



I couldn’t deal with facebook – and somehow pressed the wrong button and found myself on the email page only I couldn’t get in, but I could on another tab.  What the flip?  If more of my family would use email and not rely solely on facebook, I might just give up my facebook account.  But it’s hard as there are only three of us in Oregon, one in Las Vegas and all the rest of the family in Utah so far away.  I like having the social media but it can be very irritating at times.



By the time I get on facebook, I am up to nine friends who tell me I’ve been hacked.  Kayla has also posted a warning on my wall for all people NOT to accept friendship requests from friends who know me.  And there were comments left from others who were just about to private message me.  What take a good thing and create a monster?



Roland is now on his way to Roseburg with Jenna.  I have both phones.  Dang.  I should have left mine in the car.  I did try to get them before they pulled out of the driveway.  That's sort of how my entire day's been going.  I better read over my assignment before I turn it in. 



DANG IT! 

Monday, April 21, 2014

There ARE MANY Perks to Eloping


A few of my posts have included dreams that I’ve had. Each of those posts concludes with how I don’t put much faith in dreams.  But there is one dream that I definitely interpreted to be quite meaningful.  I made a life changing decision as a result.

                  I met Roland for the first time on December 31, 2000.  He asked me out that night.  We would go downtown to celebrate the coming of the New Year.  I missed playing games with my family – a ritual I have enjoyed about New Years.

                  Roland was quite forward.  I had dismissed guys for being too forward – and none had ever been as forward as Roland had.  I didn’t understand why I felt so comfortable around him. By the end of our date we had set up a second. I don’t know if I knew then that we would be seeing the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks.




                  So during our second date, I cried and cried – not for Tom Hanks’ character, but because I thought of my dad.  Though he was never stranded on an island with a ball-turned-companion, I just remembered the frustration that dad must have felt in trying to communicate with anybody outside of his hospital bed. 

                  Roland was so gentle with me and seemed to understand.  He passed no judgment.  I was grateful for that. 

                  That night I had a dream that it was summer and my mom was trying to get all my sibs together for a family portrait.  In the dream Roland and I had been dating for six months.  He had not yet proposed, but I knew that he would be proposing.  I was wondering how to ask mom to allow Roland and the boys to be in our family picture, as I knew that we would be together by the end of the year.




                  In real life I shot out of bed.  I had met Roland only two days before.  We had only had our second date – a movie, at that. Why would I be dreaming that we would become an item?  I didn’t even know him!  I was less than thrilled about having this dream. 

                  The next day I went to work but returned home in less than four hours as I really didn’t feel well.  I told my brother that I’d be going back to bed and under any circumstances I was NOT to be disturbed.  But less than an hour later he knocked at my door to tell me that Roland was waiting for me.
                  For reals?  Or was I having another odd dream?  Roland was there to propose!  We had met just three days ago and he wanted to marry me!  Get real!  So of course my first thought was: “No, no, no, no, no . . . .”           actually the reaction was pretty much as it had been when I awoke from the dream.




               Was there a connection?  Had my dream been a personal revelation?  Was this a test?  “No – no – I can’t accept a proposal of marriage.  I don’t even know this guy.  This goes against EVERYTHING I had planned for myself.  I wasn’t even going to date a guy I had known less than a year.  And now I was getting this message to marry this complete stranger?”

                  Of course I prayed about my decision – realizing that just because I accepted his proposal did not mean I couldn’t break it off at some point.  Three days?? That’s outrageous!!

                  Since I was knee high my dad had tried to brainwash me into believing that I wanted to elope when I had the opportunity.  To be honest, I really had no idea what he meant. It wasn’t until I got much older than I realized the elopement thing was not a bad idea.  Only by the time Roland came along, dad was gone and mom didn’t want me to elope.  I think my mom saw Roland as the Big Bad Wolf and was afraid for me.

                  Roland and I had changed our wedding date several times.  As I had mentioned in this post, we had wanted to do the right thing and start our life together with a temple marriage.

                    We had the marriage certificate to present to our bishop for the following week, but he realized that he’d be out of town. And I was tired of it.  Tired of changing the date.  Tired of trying to appease everyone.  In fact, I had said to mom and brother, Corey, “why don’t you arrange a date that fits into both of your schedules and get back to us; You two make the arrangements and tell us when to show up.”
                 
                   After several tears and a talk with mom, I went into the bishop and asked if he could marry us that night or the next. Our civil marriage took place September 9, 2001. Everybody (including the groom) who came to the wedding received an eight hour notice or less.  So it wasn’t an elopement exactly, but it wasn’t planned in the way that you would think a wedding should be.

                  On September 11, terrorists attacked our nation.  If Roland and I hadn’t already been married, I would have had him drive me to Vegas upon my return home from work.  For I fully believed that the world had come to an end.  I suppose in many aspects it symbolically did.

                A month later we did an open house – mostly for the benefit of those who attended mom’s ward and made desires known that they wished I would have had a reception or something.  I purchased balloons, baskets and teddy bears for the decor and we’d gone to Sam’s Club for the hors-d'œuvre.  I think we spent 100 bucks tops.



So it wasn’t elaborate.  It worked.  I don’t ever look back on that day and say, “Oh, I wish I would have spent more money on more frivolous things.”
Okay, I’ll admit, I’ve never been overly enthusiastic about weddings.  If I have to be involved in a wedding, I have always enjoyed the simpler ones so much better than all that elaborate hoopla.  When I finally understood my dad’s wisdom, I had hoped that each of my boys would find girls who would want to elope. 

Actually, my first daughter-in-law and I have much in common as far as hoopla goes.  Her attitude pretty much matched my own.  Her family made the arrangements and she and Tony showed up.  Well, not entirely.  But I am under the impression that is how she felt.  It was important to her mom, and that is why she allowed it.  Rochelle’s mom passed away only two months after she and Tony were married.

I don’t know how much Carrie and I have in common.  She likes to visit, but Randy somehow always manages to steal her thunder.  His behavior resembles that of Captain Kirk or William Shatner where “I am important and therefore all attention should be on me”   

It was actually that behavior that Carrie found to be a turn off.  She could see right away that Randy is full of himself (which really most people don’t get because they are always awed by his charisma) I don’t recall why she agreed to go out with him, or why she allowed a second date (her description of their first date is less than flattering) but evidently had enough premonition to make a life with him.

Their wedding was expensive.  We did not contribute financially as we were on welfare when  both Randy and Tony were married to their wives. Perhaps that is part of why I have such a hang-up with the tremendous amount of money spent on weddings.  I have enough trouble  just staying afloat or trying to put food on the table.  Spending two paychecks for one-day event is OUTRAGEOUS.

Jeanie seemed all in favor of elopement initially.  But I think Biff wanted the hoopla – and what they had in mind initially seemed tasteful.  They would get married in the temple and have a luncheon with the family.  They wouldn’t send out announcements to friends until several weeks later to invite them to some kind of reception to pay a congratulations to the couple. At least that was my understanding.

But then it changed.  And changed again.  They couldn’t marry in the temple as they had planned and so they decided just to marry civilly.  They would include family members and have a luncheon afterward.  Later when they were granted temple marriage, they would have a reception to include all family and friends.

We received the announcement of their civil marriage and have been planning for that for over a month.  Two weeks ago Roland received a text from Biff to please escort him in the temple.  They are having their temple marriage on Friday and have changed their civil marriage to something else to accommodate those that are coming on Saturday. 

Two weeks is quite a healthy notice.  It’s not like Biff rushed into a proposal only three days after having met Jeanie.  And they have given us a lot more than just eight hours notice.  I can’t help but wonder what kind of example we set for them though. 

Still no scheduled reception – at least   that I know of.  I wonder if they are still planning on having more.  I think elopement would have been so much easier.  Definitely less expensive.  I can still plant the seeds for Jenna.  Let her know the pros and the cons.  I mean, it would be nice if we could afford something elaborate for her.  But gads, all that money for just one day?  Why not put the money towards a house or tuition or something that you will have with you with more than just a memory?