Showing posts with label commitment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label commitment. Show all posts

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Where is the Sun?



         I had not noticed what the temperature was when I left the house this morning, but it was cold. I grabbed a jacket and slipped on some long pants before I went. It's felt so hot for so long the drop in temperature makes it seem cold.  I didn't want our swim instructor to be there by herself.  Two other students showed.  The water was colder than the air was.  After fifteen minutes of movement, I still wasn't warm.  I got out of the pool just after 9:30.  It was warmer outside than in the pool.  It is still overcast, but no rain yet.
        There was a misty fog hanging over the hills this morning.  I love that sight, but think I enjoyed it more this morning believing it has helped clear some of the smoke - though yesterday was not as bad as Tuesday.  Skies were hazy with smoke since the solar eclipse had passed.  That isn't healthy to breathe.
         Jenna did not go with me this morning. Tomorrow will be the last day of class as our instructor got roped into substituting and training a teaching position.  I miss the class already.  I told her I'd take her to Happy Doughnuts on Monday morning.
          I do have more thoughts to post.  A meeting from last week, renovation update, and the agenda for the day of the eclipse (which I will probably post tomorrow)  but may not get to all of my thoughts until after Jenna returns to school as I would like to spend the last few days of her summer with her.

Friday, May 17, 2013

thoughts concerning mom and Tony


Yesterday I took mom to the hairdresser.
She said it was nice to see her hairdresser again as she hadn’t seen her for a long time . . . which she hadn’t.
As I drove her back to where she lives, she kept on asking who it was that had fixed her hair.
At Alpine Ridge she was greeted like a celebrity.  Everybody LOVED her hair.
She had to check the mirror again as she couldn’t remember.
“Who fixed my hair?” she asked again.

There was a noise coming from the next room.
The noise reminded me of a single bowling lane. 
Mom said she didn’t think that’s what it was.
Well, I knew that! That’s just what the sound reminded me of.
Mom tells me about the woman in the room next to hers.
Apparently they were the first two to live there.  No, not live.  They worked.  But Helen is getting slower.  She has . . .  well, she has . . .  she’s just slowing down.
“You’re all slowing down,” I thought..
Mom couldn’t remember the word “dementia”

Tony and Rochelle have been visiting.
They have to spread their time between two families.
They don’t always show within the hour that Tony says they will.
Usually not within the first four.
It’s not Tony’s fault.  But it is hard to make plans.
Plans for pictures and photographer.
I had made plans.  But Tony said there was a change.
So I decided that we would try again in February.
Evidently I hurt Tony’s feelings. I didn’t mean to.

They may have been on time at the park
But as they’d been wandering around, we didn’t actually see them until later.
But it wasn’t four hours later. 
But still – I can’t make plans for everybody.
I can only remind them.
I think Sunny was disappointed.  But I can’t count on Tony and Rochelle showing up on time.
And we’ve already had one family picture without Randy. 
Tony allowed himself to feel offended.  He’s trying to blame me for my comment.
And maybe I was out of line – but I also know he is hurting because there is truth in my comment.

We’ll do family pictures on Memorial Day – when Tony and Rochelle are back in Texas
But Corey and Joh will be here.  And so will my uncle.  My mother’s baby brother.  He is coming to see her.  That will be nice.  Tony and Rochelle may never meet him.  Well, not in this earth life anyway.

Corey seems more interested in family history now than he has ever been.
He particularly would like to have more information on my dad’s maternal side. 
I told him to ask our former neighbor.  Funny how George Bird would know more about our family than we do.  But his dad used to hang out with our great uncle.

I may be watching Ester this morning.  Or maybe not.  Tony may not want to leave her if he is upset.  I also volunteered to watch Anna and Garrett tonight.  If I have them all at the same time, perhaps I can get pictures of the four that I couldn’t get together in the park.  They won’t be professional like Bill’s would be.  It’s a little overcast thus far.  I may have to take pics indoors.  If I have them.  I haven’t even taken Jenna to school yet.  It’s a short day.  I forgot to mention that to Tony and Rochelle.

Friday, February 22, 2013

I seem to identify with Emily Owens


          I could have never become a doctor.  I especially couldn’t have been a surgeon.  For one thing I’m really not smart enough.  Even moreso, I am squeamish.  Major squeamish.  Finding myself nauseated by special effects shown in medical shows and even commercials.  I am a whimp. There really is no denying it.  I can’t pretend that I’m not.  Anybody who knows me knows that I can act my way out of a lot of situations, but not when it comes to my extremely weak guts.  I don’t have nerves of steel.  They’re more like silly putty.
          So except for the given profession, I just seem to relate a lot to the Emily Owens character on CW’s Emily Owen, MD.

          She has compassion for her patients – perhaps too much compassion.  She feels things and allows emotions to get in the way.  Sometimes what she says doesn’t match what she thinks.  Often it does as she scolds herself for saying the words. 
         
          She understands hurt feelings.  She understands feeling left out.  She understands certain emotions expressed by others.  She would like to be there for everybody and spread comfort and joy and has been told by her colleagues and supervisors NOT to get involved. 

          She’s attempted friendships with the friendless, has hurt feelings when “profession” gets in the way of others whom she’d like to be close to.  And has a rival who continues to insult her no matter how hard Emily tries to reverse it.

          It’s also given me a better understanding of doctors who seem to be inhumane with emotion – they have to be.  Otherwise they would be basket cases.  Tearing up during surgery is not a cool thing for the surgeon or any of the assistants.  They are actually better to do their jobs by not getting emotionally involved.  Perhaps that’s with any profession.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTgwBWdYvNQ includes lyrics

I wish the lyrics were included in the actual video.  I’m big on KNOWING what’s being sung.