More Triggered Memories

 

            I have used the above picture in an earlier post.  My first post in February 2012 – the year I started my blog.  The post itself had nothing to do with the picture.  Let me relate what really happened and why Jenna is making this face.

            As I mentioned in a more recent post we used to walk everywhere – though Kearns offered more destinations than anything in West Valley or Myrtle Creek.  We did not walk to the library often as we had to cross a busy street, but Jenna had not taken a nap and would be in need of one and usually the walk to the library and back wore her out. 

            I would always hold Jenna’s hand when we were out on walks – especially when crossing streets – especially the busy one. She insisted on crossing 5400 on her own.  No way!  What kind of a mother would I be to allow my five year old cross 5400 by herself?!?  I forced her to hold my hand the return and may have even carried her across at one point.  What a brute, I know.  Anyway, she made that face because she was upset with me.

 

            Many times Jenna and I have taken walks that will trigger some kind of memory – for instance yesterday I posted about my first car.  The trigger happened when we first saw a Volkswagen Beetle.  It was the same shade of blue as the car the Gus drives in the TV series Psych.

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         I told Jenna that it was a Beetle and when she started calling it a bug I told her that I thought the bug was bigger than the beetle – she thought I was joking about the names but shortly afterward a Volkswagen Bug came up the street as we were walking and I told her I used to have a Volkswagen Dasher.  I also shared a story about my sister Kayla who always seemed to have a fondness for the Volkswagen Bug and said she planned to buy one when she was old enough to drive (I think she was younger than 8 when this experience happened)

            My brother  and I planned to go to Trafalga Family Fun Center with a few friends.  I don’t remember how many went, but we had to take several cars in order to fit us all.  A friend picked me up in her Volkswagen Bug and we took Kayla with us.  I don’t remember all of what we did but do remember that miniature golf and bumper cars were offered in addition to water rides.  After we had returned home I remember telling mom what we did and she asked Kayla what her favorite part of the day had been. 

            “We got to ride in a bug!” she beamed proudly.  I had to explain that Janice had picked us up in her Volkswagen Bug.  I hadn’t thought about it as a highlight but it had been for Kayla.

 

            When we lived in Kearns I used to walk to the gas station near our house.  I would push Jenna in the stroller and go in to fill up my 32 ounce cup with soda.  Jenna always had her sippy cup which would sometimes need a refill – but I didn’t want to give her soda.  They had a watered down juice – I don’t even remember what it was.  I think it was Sobe some raspberry flavored liquid.  I saw it as a safe bet and would fill her cup half way and add some more water.  The gas station attendant never charged me for it but had always encouraged me to take it.  I’m guessing it wasn’t a good seller and he wanted to get rid of it.  

I Cannot NOT GO LtWobo

 

          I LOVE Jenna’s enthusiasm – which I have mentioned several times.  Even throughout this pandemic she has never lost her light.  Oh, sure, it may have dimmed a few times but the spark would never die completely. She has been so enthusiastic with “Light the World one by one” program.  As much as I hate to admit it I often do not have a proper attitude of greeting the day nor have I had the desire to fulfill each daily task challenge for “Light the World”. I do it with Jenna because of her excitement. I don’t want to contribute to dimming her light. 

I think she has posted something everyday – but as a story so it doesn’t remain for all to view. I tried to screenshot them all – though I can’t seem to locate all of them nor did I keep all the clip art pictures that she added.

  

On the 7^th day of December we painted a naked sled and took it to a man who will often give Bonnie treats.  At the time his window did not have a covering such as curtains or shades.  When we walked past his house yesterday he had covered the windows but had left the sled in the corner.

 

She did use part of the story we had made up about her 3rd great grandfather.  I did get a screenshot of that - plus I have a copy of the assignment that she had turned in. (Refer to this post)

Yesterday morning was too dark for me to drive to pick her up on time. Roland drove and on the way the way home Jenna mentioned delivering cookies but claimed she wouldn’t have time to make them due to her schedule and Roland offered to stop off at the store and we could buy cookies.  To be honest, they looked lost in the containers and the ones Jenna had picked out were not chocolate chip.  You have to have chocolate chip.  I decided to make chocolate chip after we returned home.  I mixed up the cookies so each plate or box had an assortment which included the store bought and homemade.  Didn’t really go according to plan.

The first batch I had baked came out darker than I like and so gave less time on the other two batches.  We took Bonnie for a walk and took the first cookies to a sister in our ward and asked for a suggestion on who to take the others too.  She was caught off guard and I made some suggestions.  She pointed to the neighbor across the way.  No one answered the door and as we did not have anything to leave a note with we chose not to leave the cookies but continued onto our next destination. 

We took a box of cookies to her friend who lives near the first street where we had lived in Oregon.  She was in math class when she answered the door and so did not choose another drop off either.  But we had one plate of cookies left and Jenna wanted to return to our old street to visit the pig next door (here) to the house that we had rented. She suggested that we leave the plate with them, but they did not appear to be home either.  Jenna then suggested our former neighbor across the street.  That was truly inspired as she graciously accepted the cookies and came out for a visit.  

          She told us about a friend of hers who had recently lost her dog.  She couldn’t remember the address but described it to us and we knew exactly what house she was talking about.  We returned home so that Jenna could sign into one of her classes and I put another box together. After Jenna continued with her schooling and finished her two projects, we took Bonnie on another walk and found the house of the friend.  We presented the cookies and told her who had send us and were sorry for her loss.  We continued to walk around the neighborhood and then returned home.

          For today’s light the world, we took Bonnie to the park specifically so that Jenna could walk up to Good Dogs to purchase some treats for Bonnie as well as herself.  She took this picture with my phone but I don’t see that she’s posted it.

 

In addition to "Light the World" we have also added ornaments to our wreath each day.  The wreathe is the same as from last year but smaller "ornaments" that still don't really fit in with the holiday theme - not most of them anyway.  I am not doing a day by day record of it like I did last year.  I took this picture today.

Perhaps I Have Contributed to Her Happiness After All

         Before Jenna was born I started keeping a journal for her – writing it in first person as though she were writing it – guessing what she was thinking.  I ended up with 10 volumes from 2004 – 2013.  I had stopped printing pages the year that my mom passed.  I continued with scrapbook pages left in the computer and flash drives and continued our first year in Oregon, but then allowed her to take over - which she has discontinued.

Anyway, we have been rereading through her books during this pandemic.  I appreciate having recorded what I did as there is much I have forgotten.  I remember myself having been uptight all of the time – but perhaps not as often as I had believed.  I had always felt blessed with such a happy girl and wanted to help her stay that way – trying hard to stay positive though not always successful and it shows in my writing particularly when her sisters would visit.

I was not so much against her sisters as I was their deranged mother who brought Satan into our lives. I unfortunately accepted his influence and allowed myself to be angry and sad.  At first it was Frances who wanted to be there and Pamprin didn’t want anything to do with us.  I thought of her as a spoiled brat.  Eventually the roles were reversed.  Frances seemed to have given up on life and Pamprin seemed to not like to be with her mother and sister but had asked Roland to pick her up – which I would not have believed if I hadn’t recorded it.  When Jenna was newly born I did not like Pamprin to be around her but when Frances was no longer in the picture, I thought that Pamprin was really cute with Jenna.

Jenna and I enjoyed taking walks.  I’d push her in the stroller or pull her in the wagon until she decided that she could just walk on her own.  The first neighborhood we lived in was loaded with sidewalks.  I have always preferred walking to driving and sidewalks made it easy.

We walked everywhere.  To the store, to the gas station, the school and even to the library – and that was on the other side of a busy street.  It amazes me that we crossed it on foot all the many times that we did.

Jenna loved to explore – still does – and I allowed her to explore in yards of neighbors and taught her to be respectful and had even assisted with discoveries.  I was never in a hurry and so allowed her to take her time.

Jenna had gone to the local elementary school for two and a half years.  Two years of pre-school and half a year of kindergarten. From where we lived South Kearns Elementary was less than a ten minute walk for one who just walked and did not stop to smell every flower, pose with statues, stop for every fire hydrant, and observe snails and other critters.  We always left the house at least a half hour early as it always took more than twenty minutes to get there.  The return home always took more than thirty.

Jenna had a friend whose mom had asked if I could watch her child between when school ended until she came home from work.  Thus I would pick up two girls from kindergarten.  Jenna and Kas had not been friends prior – even when the school year started and I would walk both of them to our house – both sulky because neither one wanted to associate with the other but in time they did become friends who did better with one another on the walk home than at our house.

Kas was high maintenance which nobody (including her mom) could understand.  I had never met another five-year-old that was that pristine.  Everything had to match and be in order.  Jenna had more important things to care about and it was obvious that clothes were not a high priority in her life.

One time we were walking towards our house and the wind was blowing. Both Jenna and Kas pretended that it was blowing so hard that it would send them backward.  I don’t think it took us two hours to get home that day though I do know it was more than forty minutes.  Kas’ mom must have left work early that day for when we finally made it home she was parked in the driveway.  Both Kas and Jenna seemed miffed with me as “I hadn’t allowed them enough time to play together.”  Oh, they had been playing the entire time!  I wasn’t the one that told them to walk backwards and in the direction the wind carried the leaves.

We moved that year to a less developed neighborhood where sidewalks were almost non-existent.  We often walked in the middle of the street as we aimlessly moved through the neighborhood rarely without a destination.  We could walk to the church and trailer park.  No shops within walking distance though we did walk to the gas station on occasion.  Jenna rode the bus to school.

When first grade started Jenna was attending another school – one that I had to drive to.  I would drop her off each morning and return for her in first grade.  I was left alone in the parking lot as I waited for her to cross the field with her friend Isaac.  They were always the last two – never in a hurry.  Fortunately, neither was I.  I enjoyed the solitude of being the only one left in the parking lot.  We were both happy and at peace.

By second grade we were carpooling.  I would pick her classmate up in the morning and his mom would pick them up after school which worked out well for all of us except Jenna because her classmate’s mom was always in a hurry and Jenna wasn’t able to dawdle for more than a year.  But her classmate moved and I was responsible for getting Jenna after school. Sometimes I was in a hurry because I was also dealing with my mom who had dementia.

I think by allowing Jenna to explore and not being in a hurry, I have contributed to her happiness.  Some parents deprive their children from being children by saying “don’t” and “no” more often than they say, “yes” “take your time”.