Showing posts with label Randy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Randy. Show all posts

Friday, October 3, 2014

Why Learn Algebra?

            I get needing to know the basics of math.  I have multiplied or divided fractions when I doubled or halved a recipe.  I used addition and subtraction (mostly subtraction) when dealing with finances.  I have even measured things accurately. I get the basics and I do and have used them in real life.  Anything beyond the basics have been useless except for two times since graduating high school.

            The two situations in which I’ve been required to understand beyond basic (Algebra comes to mind) came when my children were taking math courses in school.  Tony used to milk his sessions.  It would take hours just to do one problem.  He didn’t get that if he would just do it instead of trying to get me to re-learn and do his assignments, he could have been done so much quicker.

Actually I have had hang-ups with algebra my entire life.  I think I would have been okay doing year round school.  With three months of summer vacation and no homework, I never did retain what dad had explained to me the year before.

Dad was a math nerd, actually.  He thrived on it.  Oh, yuck!!!  None of his kids had it in their genes to love math the way he did.  We all use the basics – but I doubt that any of us have ever dealt with algebra except to assist with homework so that our children in turn can help their children and so forth.

            When Jenna was too young to know any better, I had convinced her that math was/is fun and that she would love it – which she did.  From 2nd- 4th grade she basically did her math homework without my assistance – which was great for me.  By third grade I was at a loss just looking at her papers.

Multiplication has given her problems.  And she absolutely hates division.  Division, on the other hand, had always been my favorite (I mean if I absolutely have to pick a math favorite) and hated multiplication the most (which is ironic as you need to know how to multiply in order to divide) and so for the last two weeks I have been explaining the technique – which I’m sure that she gets but seems to experience ADD each time she does it – though it still doesn’t take near as long to do her entire paper as it did for Tony to do just one problem)

Unlike Tony, Jenna LOVES algebra.  She thinks it’s fun to create and do problems.  (I was hoping my father’s genes would skip a generation - perhaps they have)

Not long ago, Randy was taking a monster algebra class through the college.  At least Jenna’s problems don’t require as much paper as his did.  He must have gone through one notebook per class assignment.  That’s gross.

In order to better understand what it was that he was doing, he felt the need to explain, making Jenna and me his pupils.  She thrived on it.  He didn’t think she totally got the concept, but said she was getting the right answers.  I was, too.  I just wasn’t enjoying it.  But actually, neither was Randy.

There seems to be only a handful of people who not only get algebra and trigonometry and calculus, etc. but thrive on it like it is the most awesome thing ever.  Great for those people.  Kudos to them for having that desire.  But leave me out of it.  I don’t wish to rack my brain with symbols and results that are basically meaningless to me just so I can relearn it to teach my own children.

I have a friend who majored in math (who does that?  What do you even do with a math degree?) and had all four of his boys memorize their times tables before they were six.  All smart.  All knowledgeable – not just about math but politics and current events and are basically brilliant people.  Surprisingly they’re not boring – often times their topic of subject doesn’t interest me, but I have enjoyed hanging out with them on occasion.

Anyway, my own personal philosophy is that all most real people really need is the basics and the rest is there for those who truly want to learn it, but no one should be forced just to keep those math majors in the business of teaching math or whatever detailed jobs may be offered to the mathematical minded.  I just don’t get it.  I certainly don’t thrive on it.  Even the game of Monopoly is not fun.  Too much math involved.  I’m grateful that Jenna believes it’s fun.  She likes math.  She also enjoys going to the dentist.  I honestly can’t decide which I think is more painful.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Creating Memories With Two Brothers

            I remember how I enjoyed watching fireworks when I was younger.  I remember lighting sparklers with my dad and dancing around the yard.  Fireworks were reserved for July 4th (anniversary of our nation) and July 24th (anniversary of our state) and gradually that turned into weekends. 

Here in our part of west Valley, the fireworks happen EVERY SINGLE DAY IN JULY – or at least from the 3rd to the 27th.  Jenna’s enthusiasm shines for each holiday.  She’d been nagging Roland for some time to get fireworks whenever we pass firework stands or displays.  


Somewhere along the way (and I’m not really certain when) I outgrew the thrill of fireworks.  I get headaches from the smoke.  I have a hard time breathing when I am outside.  I’m no longer a night owl and thus not very fun parent.  But we try.  Jenna often feels bummed as she often feels like an only child.

I texted her brothers to see if any would like to assist with the fireworks.  Two of them answered.  Randy and Carrie came to the house and all lit all of the fireworks.  And while they were doing that, Tony called to see if Roland could bring Jenna out to where he’s staying.  Randy offered to drive her, and she will stay the night.

Thank you Randy and Tony for assisting in the memory-making department.  Happy Independence Day!


Sunday, June 8, 2014

Loaded Paintbrushes and the Rest of the Story

After we had purchased the house
Roland put the boys to work
painting the trim red.
That was seven years ago.
Time to paint again.

Randy needs money
and Roland puts all three boys to work
and says he’ll pay them 100 dollars each
as soon as the work is done.
The instructions are fairly simple: 
Everything that is red needs to be painted over in green,
everything that’s white needs to be repainted white.

Biff was the first to show.
He works graveyard and comes
straight from his job
though two weeks ago
I think he went to the gym before coming here

Roland had to work that day
and so I had told Tony that he could be in charge
I didn’t want Randy to be in charge
because most of the time
he doesn’t even know what he’s doing
as he has managed to disappear
each time Roland taught the boys a trade

Randy appears to be genuine about helping
or at least that was the case two weeks ago
But he loaded the paintbrush
so that it dripped onto the cement below.
I know that’s not how Roland taught him
but listening has never been his greatest skill.
I am so grateful that he hadn’t tried painting Jenna’s room
Otherwise she’d have blue splotches all over her floor
not to mention we would have run out of paint
before all of the walls were finished
We put Randy in charge of moving the lawn.

All three boys showed up the week before last.
When Tony and Biff both took off
Randy continued to work
and may have finished
except for we ran out of green
Of course none of us were here last week
as Jenna had her 5K.  
That was the first morning
since Tony’s been married
that I remember him showing up on time.

Roland wants the job done ASAP
It’s taking too long.
He hired some other people to finish the job.
They didn’t finish.
They said they’ll be back on Monday.
Roland wants the job done NOW
so yesterday  Biff and Tony showed up
(Randy is out of town)
More got done.
It isn’t finished though.
There is more red trim to paint green
Jenna’s old room needed painting as well

After Biff and Tony left for the day
Roland recruited me to help him paint
We put a light beige over the pink
in Jenna’s old room.
The wall came out a light tan.
I like the color.

After the room looked finished
(though there are still a lot of flaws)
Roland took the bed apart 
and leaned it against the wall.
He then drilled a hole into the floor
and went under the house
to change the cable.

There was a time in my life
when I had gone spelunking
with a large group
and actually had fun
exploring the cave

It wasn’t until just before our exit
that I became freaked
at the very idea of the closure
and the "what if"s.
I have not been underground since.

Roland’s not at all fazed by the crawl space
but I am definitely having problems about it.
So he was in the crawl space and I was
over the hole that he drilled.
He could hear me. 
I could not hear him enough to
understand what he was saying to me
so I sent Jenna to stand over the crawlspace
and translate what Roland saying.

She hung upside down as she watched him.
The cables were too short and he and Jenna went to the store
to pick up a longer cable.

I tried to take a nap while they were gone
but my body was so sore that
I couldn’t relax.
I’ve never been eighty.
I’ve seen some 80 year olds who are quite healthy
and move like they’re twenty.
But I’ve seen more who seem hunched over
and have trouble walking
as though they are experiencing a shooting pain
with every step.
That is how I feel –
like the misshapen 80 year old
and every part of me hurts
even went I’m not moving

I couldn’t sleep
and so I turned on the television
to see if that might help
I flipped around until I landed on the BYU station
announcement is made that
Granite Flats first episode is coming up next”
I hadn’t ever seen it. 
I started watching it although
I figured Roland and Jenna would return
before the program ended
and I still would not see it.

The doorbell rang
and I got up to answer the door.
Roland and Jenna were standing there with several packages
half of which were food
I helped them unload their bags.
When I returned to the other room,
the TV had been turned off

Roland returned to the crawl space
and we threaded the cable through.
He then moved in the computer from one room
We hooked up and moved the desk
from the bedroom
Hard work
Both of us were tired.
Both of us were sore.
My mind was the only thing NOT sore
as it kept of thinking of things
I wanted to post.
I’m still sore.
When I got out of bed this morning,
I walked slower
and less gracefully than
Frankenstein’s Monster.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Puppies are cute; That doesn’t mean I want one.

Biff’s girlfriend (at the time) gave him a puppy for Christmas – ironically the last year they were together.  They didn’t even make it to the next Christmas.

The puppy was cute with his little brown patches and Jenna liked holding him and playing with him while his patches were still intact. As Buddy got bigger (just in the matter of months really) the patches disappeared and Biff had a large white dog who wanted to play 24/7.  Biff couldn’t give him 24/7.  We all needed to sleep sometime – except Buddy. Barked if we tied him up.  Lot of complaints from the neighbors.

Buddy was no longer cute.  He was a nuisance.  Jenna loved him when he was a puppy, but when he got bigger than her, he was just too much for her to handle. He went through the chewing stage and managed to get some of her toys while indoors.  She hid all of her outdoor toys in his dog house – which he refused to take shelter in.  And that was okay by Jenna.  She liked playing in it.  After about four months he had outgrown the dog house anyway.

We both got to hate that dog.  Buddy actually grew to bigger than Biff.  It was great entertainment to watch Biff giving Buddy a bath.

Biff and his girlfriend broke up, but still had a platonic relationship.  I think the only reason that she continued to visit was to see Buddy and not Biff.  He should have given her custody of the dog a lot sooner.

Carrie wanted a puppy and so Randy got her one for Christmas.  Not just any puppy – a two hour drive to a pure breed puppy farm.  They lived in an apartment at the time and had to pay extra fees when their newfound friend was discovered. Plus they’d have to take turns getting up and letting the dog out of the apartment while trying to potty train him.  I got up with a human baby.  I am NOT getting up for a dog!

Potty training isn’t the worst of it though.  They seem to catch onto it better than many human children do.  It’s the teething and chewing and barking that I have a problem with.

Randy would bring the dog over to our house and leave it in the yard (I didn’t want him to be making messes in my house, thank you very much) and sometimes come back for it after his classes or it would be here all day until Carrie  returned from work. 

Chief liked to Chew on Highnesses ear – and though I have called our own dog finicky and high maintenance but he really is a good natured dog – not thrilled at having Chief biting him, but never fighting back.  I didn’t have many problems with Chief being outdoors until quite recently actually.

When they moved out of the apartment Randy bought a scooter and left the dog at his house (YEAH!) and so we didn’t see as much of him anymore.  But then there was that day that their car broke down and they just happened to have Chief with him and the dog got left at our house again.

That dog is a terrorizer!  He chewed on almost everything that he could find in the yard – Jenna’s wading pool (which she had only used once) the floatation device that came with it, and a mop I had left outside to air out among other things.  I hadn’t even realized that we had had that many things in the back yard until I had to clean up after him.  I WASN’T HAPPY ABOUT IT either.  I told Randy and Carrie both:  DO NOT LEAVE THE DOG IN OUR YARD ANYMORE!      The only reason our trampoline survived is because he is still unable to reach the tarp (at least on all fours)

Randy replaced the pool.  I put it on the side of our house.  When Chief got left in our yard again – really?  Listening is definitely not one of  Randy’s strong points – he dug up the seeds that we had barely planted – plus he stepped on some plants in the process (I was surprised he hadn’t attacked them when he attacked the pool and the mop)

Today I bought a cable.  If/When Chief comes again, he will have room to play among the weeds.  He won’t be in our back yard.  He will be on the side of our house where it’s nice and shady.  And if he would like to dig up or step on all the weeds, I will learn to love him again. 

Here’s hoping Randy and Carrie may take the hint and just leave Chief at home until he is no longer teething.  There is a reason we have always gotten older dogs. 

Friday, May 3, 2013

If You Leave Your Note Book Out – It Becomes Up For Grabs

I was raised in a household in which we respected not only one another – but property belonging to someone else.  We’d always ask one another if we could borrow or have – we didn’t just take and keep or disregard without considering the emotions of another.

Roland has always grabbed at envelopes or statements or even receipts – if there is a blank space he would document information from the caller – and leave it.  I at least make the effort to transfer the information rather than telephone my spouse and expect miracles to happen as I describe the notes I took and the possible appearance of what it might have been written on.

Today his “note” detail much more space than even a totally blank envelope will provide.  If I should leave out a notebook which I have written, be it journaling, lesson preparation, or whatever, he ignores the fact that the notebook may belong to somebody else and starts in at exactly where I left off.  What?!?

Randy at least has the decency to turn the page – problem is he has a college algebra class and uses up several pages for just one problem.  Give me a break!  Not fond of that algebra.  But then neither is he.

It isn’t just the notebook –it’s whatever happens to be lying around or - in Jenna’s case – just happens to exist.  Who cares if you had to open a drawer or cupboard and move things around just to get to it?  Pencils? Pens?  Once they enter our house, they are good as forever vanished. It is best that one NOT develop an attachment to anything as most items that come into our house grow legs and walk away or are forever hiding.

Edible things may be marked with names – but if they are kept in a public place (like the refrigerator) it is still up for grabs.  Tony is the only one of my three boys who ever asked if he could have different foods – but that was just while I was at home.  But Randy has always overlooked any personal belongings and still helps himself to whatever (and he doesn’t even live here anymore)

How nice it would be to experience the same respect that I grew up with.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Blame It on the Ghost

Cute Ghosts Halloween Design

          Almost every household in America has at least one ghost living with them.  Since being married to Roland, I have encountered three.  Their names are “It Wasn’t Me”, “I Don’t Know” and “I Didn’t Do It”.  The ghost who gets blamed the most in this house is “It Wasn’t Me”.  “I Don’t Know” received most of the blame in our last house – though “It Wasn’t Me” seemed to share a lot of blame as well.
          I find it interesting that about 20 minutes before Jenna returned home from school yesterday, I retrieved a hand mirror from the coffee table and put it in the bathroom.  She couldn’t have been home more than five minutes before I found the mirror on the coffee table again – in almost the exact same position it has been only 25 minutes earlier.

          “Why is that mirror on the coffee table?” I asked.

          She didn’t even hesitate.  She immediately pinned the blame on “It Wasn’t Me” – a ghost that she and Tony seem all too familiar with.  Tony was also a big fan of “I Didn’t Do It” while Randy and Biff seemed more inclined to blame “I Don’t Know” 

          Once in a while Jenna and Biff try to blame one another – which usually doesn’t go over really big as they rarely ever spend time in the house during the same hours.  Of course she is asleep for the most part while he is at work.  And he tries to sleep during the time that she is gone to school. 

          I wouldn’t be surprised if “I Don’t Know” has moved in with Randy and Carrie. Though it’s just the two of them, I think he still tries to pin the blame on “I Don’t Know”  Fortunately Carrie is onto him.

          “I Didn’t Do It” shows up once in a while.  Perhaps that ghost is just a friend to “It Wasn’t Me” who has not actually shown any kind of responsibility.  No one does.  Responsibility?  What’s that?

Sunday, May 13, 2012

No use crying over spilt milk; Time to Move on

          The wedding is now behind us, but still my plate seems full.  I am exhausted both mentally and physically.  And I am certain that I am also experiencing a hormonal imbalance.
          I vegetated all day yesterday.  Literally.  I had the boob tube on, but never saw a complete program as I would fade in and out of my slumber.  I hadn’t slept well the prior night.  I often have problems sleeping when I am overly tired.  My subconscious mind always seems to dwell on situations that I can’t change.  It drives me nuts – especially when I am so exhausted.

          Given that and the fact that I had taken a Zyrtec before going to the wedding reception and then again before going to bed.  It must have taken all day before it finally wore off.  At least I hope it’s worn off.

          My brother Corey had tried to be supportive – to both the family (as I had a son getting married) and his partner who was auditioning.  Both had scheduled event for the exact same time.  And he managed to do both.

          When Corey’s partner had finished his audition, both got dressed up and entered the temple grounds to be in family pictures.  They were in a few.  The one with everybody.  The one with bride and groom in front with uncles, aunts, nieces, cousins, friends, just whoever . . .
 Then our photographer asked which family should be photographed first.  I opted for the bride’s family with a lot more people – at least four were under the age of twelve.  I thought it would be easier to keep them there rather than move them around and back again.

          But my family got left on the back burner.  They left and I wasn’t even aware.  So the only photos that they were in were the ones with everybody – though the photographer had taken some of me with Corey and his partner before the bride and groom came out. But we did not get any photos of five that were there on the groom’s side in pics with just the nine of us.

 I felt bad.  And I know it is wrong to be upset about it or dwell on it, but I did get teary- eyed about it.  And when Roland asked if I was catching cold, I just couldn’t hold back anymore.  And I knew it was stupid for me to be crying over something I couldn’t change.  I should have said something sooner.

          It’s over and done with.  But Corey’s partner was tired having had only two hours of sleep.  Mom was antsy – because she just seems overwhelmed with crowds as she’s gotten older.  So they left.  And Corey said they had said good-bye to me.  But my head has been so full this month and I can’t think straight and I didn’t hear them or see them leave.

          There were two photographers – one from each family.  I think Bill was getting annoyed with the other photographer who obviously doesn’t have his years of experience.  She was sweet enough – but definitely not Bill.  He was probably more flustered than I was.

          There weren’t near as many pictures taken of Randy’s wedding as there had been with Tony’s – when Bill was working by himself.  Especially at the reception – where Bill had arrived on time (which doesn’t seem normal for him) but the bride’s side of the family didn’t seem to care or wanted to be bothered with being photographed again.  And the bride and groom themselves didn’t arrive until the time when the reception was scheduled to start.

          Jenna’s dress had gotten dirty – and she wasn’t in the greatest mood.  I don’t even know if she’s aware that Corey’s partner is in town right now, but I plan to take her out to my mom’s house and take pictures myself as he’ll be leaving tomorrow.  And since the dress Jenna wore the other night is not clean, I will be dressing her in another.

          It’s Mother’s Day.  I won’t have to be assisting in the nursery today as the priesthood will be giving all the women a break.
          Last night Jenna gave me an apron she had made – so excited about her gift that she just couldn’t hold it in.
          Now she would like to work on making a gift for Biff – who has his 25th birthday tomorrow.  It’s been put on the back burner – again.  I so often feel like Biff’s birthday has been lost in the sauce for so many years.  For the most part I don’t think he even cares.  But it would be nice to receive some acknowledgement.

          Mother’s Day has often been put on the back burner, too.  But I think Jenna plans on changing that.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

It’s been a Melancholy month; can’t wait until it’s over

I suppose I could just brainstorm my thoughts – which I have – but on paper.  Not on a post. 
            I’ve heard it said that poultry may sometimes run around frenziedly for several minutes after decapitation.  Hence the saying, “running around like a chicken with head cut off” 
          My mind has definitely been elsewhere this month.  Too many events taking place all at once.  Too many things to remember.  I have so lacked in my organizational skills
          Had to find sitters for Jenna on Tuesday and Friday this week; had another meeting with my sibs on Tuesday – something which had been scheduled for well than a month in advance.  Fortunately my sister mentioned it in an email or else I would have forgotten.

          I arrived early – 40 minutes early.  I had left early as I didn’t know the path of construction that would be in store for me and was very surprised when I hadn’t encountered not even one orange poly cone or orange barrel.

          Yesterday Carrie went to the temple for the first time.  I had been invited to attend along with her other guests – Randy had even offered to drive me (as we’re only down to one car which Roland drives on Wednesdays)  But I still would have needed a sitter for Jenna. But I had already told her that I would take her to see a child’s production of “Alice in Wonderland” – a play that she had actually wanted to be in – but it really didn’t fit into our schedule – or budget.

          I thought that I would have rather gone to the temple then to sit through a peewee production of “Alice . . .” – NOT my favorite show.  But it turned out to be really cute.  And I will do a write up on another post.  We rode the bus over to the high school and that in itself was fun for her.  I feel good about having taken her and not neglecting her again.

          So tomorrow is Randy and Carrie’s big day.  In our family it has been traditional for the groom’s family to do the wedding breakfast/brunch.  In the past, each couple has gotten married in the morning and had their meal between the wedding and reception.  As they are not getting married until 1:00 in the afternoon, it will be a breakfast before they are married.  It isn’t practical for us to try and sandwich the meal in between the marriage and the reception in the allotted amount of time.

          Apparently 9:30 is still too early for the bride and her family – but when else are we supposed to do it? Seriously?
I know there are some readers who wonder why I’m even blogging with the wedding being so close.  Most likely I will not be blogging tomorrow though.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Would your Parents Help with the Flower Expenses?

          When I was very young – still in elementary school, probably – my dad had strongly suggested that I elope when the time came.  Of course back then I had no idea what that even meant – but as I got older and older, I realized that the elopement thing was sounding better and better.  Weddings DON’T have to be expensive.  But some brides allow things to get out of hand.

          I actually come from a very practical family who has not spent a lot of money on that special day.  Mostly due to a lack of funds – but also because we realize it is just one day and the expenses don’t have to be off the charts.  What’s the point?

          I realize that there are some who have dreamed about her “perfect wedding” her entire life.  I wasn’t one of them.  Getting the groom was the main most important thing.  All else was unnecessary.  Especially when I got older and realized how impractical so much of it really was and is.

          My brother and his wife got married around Christmas time.  The reception hall had been decorated for the holidays.  And Sunny and her family just incorporated those decorations for the wedding itself.  Sunny wore her mom’s dress.  I don’t even remember what food they had – but I’m guessing that it was simple.

          Sunny did have a line. She had chosen two shades of pink for the bridesmaids to wear. Of all existing fabrics she had chosen taffeta – okay, so the whole wedding wasn’t practical.  Half of us looked like circus tents.  It was the one and only time I would wear that dress.

          What’s up with bridesmaid dresses anyway?  To analyze that would have to be a post all on its own.  But let me not lose focus here.

          After Roland and I got engaged, we had changed our wedding date so many times.  There were complications with his ex that I will not even try to explain.  We would make arrangements around other people’s schedule – and you know what?  No date will ever work for all people.  Seriously.  Another great benefit to eloping – no one person would be excluded anymore than anybody else. 

          By that time my father had passed away and my mom didn’t want me to elope.

          We had landed on our umpteenth date for September 18.  We had the marriage license; I had borrowed a white dress from mom (not her wedding dress though – as she had borrowed the one she had been married in) and ten days prior we learned the clergy (bishop) who would marry us would be out of town.  I was in tears.  Really – why all this stress.  If we ran off to Las Vegas, it would be over and done with and I wouldn’t have had to deal with such emotional turmoil.

          The next day I asked my bishop if he could marry us that or the following night.  So the groom, the guests, everybody who was a part of that wedding party got eight hours notice or less.  And you know what?  Everybody who had been invited came.

          We were married at our newly purchased house.  My mom stopped off at the store and purchased a cake that said “Congratulations!” and it worked.  Roland's favorite part about that night was that I didn't have to leave at a certain time; I was there to stay.

          There were still some who believed we should have a reception.  And so a month later we did – for them. We made up our own announcements and passed them out by hand.  I purchased some balloons and teddy bears for our decorations.  We found some appetizers on clearance and used that as our food.  And ward (Church) members rallied around us to assist with our needs. 

It was held in the building where my mom attends Church meetings. It was simple.  There was no line.  Very little expense.  And it worked.

          Before Kayla got married I went with her to a second hand store.  She purchased a wedding gown and veil that she has worn three times perhaps – she had posed for pictures in her wedding dress without her groom – and there are several more – over six hindered more of the bride and groom.

          The line was short.  No bridesmaids in one-time-wear bridesmaid dresses.  But if she had had bridesmaids she would have chosen a practical fabric and pattern that the bridesmaid would actually want to wear again.

          Her “flower girls” wore dresses which were already in closet – posed for pictures but did not stand in line. My family and I assisted in the kitchen.  It was held at the same building as my reception had been.  It was inexpensive.  And it worked.

          And I have been to some expensive weddings that really did have an awesome appearance and commercial feel almost.  And while I have made comment that, “Oh, this is nice.  Yes, it is beautiful” I really do feel a lot more comfortable with simple than with expense.  Which is good, I guess.  Being that expense has always been out of my reach.

          I have two daughters-in-law.  Well, two as of next week. 

My first daughter-in-law comes from a family who has had to deal with financial burdens just as we have.  Rochelle’s needs and ideas were very simple – and it showed.  The layout for the reception was very inexpensive.  Different family members had agreed to assist and/or take over with different parts of the reception – such as food, decorations, the cake, etc.  They held it at the Church (ward building) that she had attended. And it was a really nice reception.

          Rochelle was very willing to elope.  But she didn’t want to hurt her family members’ feelings.  Neither of her parents was in the greatest of health.  She had a simple wedding reception for them.  And her mom passed two months later.  So we have some great memories there with her mom.

Carrie’s tastes are a far cry from practical, I think.  According to Randy, Carrie’s family has already spent thousands of dollars on this wedding.  Thousands!  I cringe at the very thought.  If I had thousands, it certainly would not be spent for a onetime event.  I’d fix up the yard, have a lot more reliable transportation, fix the plumbing in the house (probably the plumbing would be my priority) get my printer fixed . . .

Carrie had asked Randy to ask if we could help with expenses.  Are you kidding me?  Don’t you think if we had the money we would have made the offer?  After all, she’s been to our rather small house before.  She’s seen our embarrassment of a yard. She’s seen what we use as transportation.  She may not know about the plumbing, but still . . . we didn’t spend that kind of money put together on the three weddings mentioned at the beginning of this post.  
Please.  It’s not that I don’t want to – well, I guess I don’t – but overall we really cannot help out with expenses because we just don’t have it.  We've been off and on welfare our entire married lives.  Mostly on it seems.

Randy doesn’t understand why we’re so financially strapped.  Hopefully he will never have to find our first-handedly about the high cost of divorce and what it’s like to hire attorneys and pay court costs and taxes and earn money that we never even see.  (Also more information for another post that will never get written.) Not to mention the economical slump they are calling a “repression”.

I like Carrie.  I do.  But her view of the world is so different from my own.  Different from her mother’s from what I understand.  The kind of girl that Randy would go for.  A trophy wife.  And I hope for both of their sakes that it will last. 

Sunny would not encourage anybody to elope.  She thinks that there should be many memories of that important day and that family and friends should be a part of it.  And I agree.  I wanted family and friends.  I didn’t want hype however.  And hype isn’t needed.  But for many brides it appears that the desire of the material things and show becomes more important than friends, family members, and even the groom. 

I’ve been to some weddings that have just seemed so superficial and showy, I wonder just who they’re trying to impress.  Themselves?  Do they think it’s worth it? And there are those who have been impressed with the results.  I, for one, am NOT impressed with the high cost of weddings.  I’d rather take my family on vacation somewhere.

 Different strokes.  Different folks.  If our finances are like they are now, Jenna’s will have to be simple (unless we can get her to elope)