Beneath the Wraps

  I have always had a low pain threshold.   I have also been a drama queen exaggerating the results of my pain thus I didn’t always get the sympathy that I sought.   On Tuesday I had three teeth extracted from my mouth.   I was certain I would have to have surgery with at least one – being lost in the gum line and have to be removed in pieces.   That is how it was for my mom.   But then again that was over 60 years ago.   Technology has made things so much easier since then.              All three teeth were removed within half an hour.   I thought I would be in the dentist chair for at least two hours – or close to it anyway.   I don’t hurt nearly as much as I had expected.   In fact, it only hurts on one side – mostly in the cheek area on my left side.   In time the pain will go away and I will be back to eating solid foods. But as of right now it’s been mashed potatoes, pudding and Jell-o. ...

          I remember experiencing a headache in November.   My sister gave me some Ibuprofen and my headache was gone.         After Christmas and into January I had experienced sensitive teeth.   My daughter-in-law gave me some Ibuprofen and the pain seemed to vanish.         This morning I woke up with a sore arm.   I took some Ibuprofen and it no longer hurts me.           I marvel that after the drug has entered my body it is able to travel to exactly where I need it.   I think that is genius!

             I don’t bend so well anymore.   My left leg often hurts and I wear lifts under my right foot to even them out.   I got up at 1:30 this morning to take Bonnie out and noticed a pain in my right leg.   What was that all about?   So both of my legs were hurting and I decided that I would soak them in the tub.            The knobs for the master bath broke off a long time ago and I haven’t used the tub for a while – perhaps a couple of times before Biff and his family moved in but never while they were living here.   I did not realize how tight the bathroom was until this morning.   No wonder Biff is so happy not living here anymore! I’m wondering how they were able to get along in such a tight space.  

  Before Thanksgiving I had gone to the emergency room for a sinus infection – not that I really consider that an emergency, but getting into the regular doctor is like a three month wait . . . Then again, just before Christmas.   Unbelievable pain in my mouth – but it isn ’ t dental.   A pain I was hoping would leave my body before Christmas – but did not. Unfortunately the Z-pack did not heal in the way it used to.   The first dose went right through me before it had a chance.   I wondered if it would do anything to take the rest.   It didn ’ t.   My mouth was sore through Christmas and the New Year.   Every day I took a pain reliever – sometimes as often as four times a day, but have slowed down.   I ’ m now down to one pain pill and one tooth.   I understand why people may abuse the drugs and become addicts.   I get it.   The pain is real.   I hate taking medication.   I hate the side effects, the depend...

               When I was younger I remember psyching myself into believing I didn’t care.   I didn’t care about boys or dating.   I didn’t care about peers or school.   I didn’t care if plans fell through.   I knew it was wrong.   I knew it was unhealthy to deprive myself of feeling any other emotion. I just knew that if I could convince myself that I believed I didn’t care it would be so much easier to handle than disappointment or rejection.   It was.   It truly was.   This heartache and turmoil is such a bunch of crap that most anybody would rather do without.   We’re told the sad/bad/hard emotions gives us strength.   Boloney!!!    Disappointment  and heartache bite big time!             When Jenna was younger we befriended a family that consisted mostly of Khonnie and her two children.   Dennis was gone for the most ...

          For the most part I turn off my phone before I go to work.   I leave it in my bag and do not carry it around with me.   I’m in class, after-all .   It’s not like I can answer it or have a conversation.   On Tuesday morning I went into Roland’s office to tell him that I was leaving to go to Canyonville.   Only he wasn’t in his office.                     The front door had been left open indicating to me that he must be outside.   I still couldn’t find him.   I called out his name but he did not answer.   As I pulled out of the driveway I saw him on the hill wearing a blue shirt.   He must have fallen shortly after I pulled out of the driveway – long before I got to Canyonville.   Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately as I did not allow myself time to freak out) I did not get his message ...

          It’s been two weeks since I went to the doctor.   I had worked three hours on Thursday which maybe I shouldn’t have.   On Friday I developed a headache that just seemed to get worse with each day of the weekend.   I have never had a hangover before, but I have had brain freeze – which is how I felt when the headache started.   Progressively it got worse and I imagined that is what a hangover must feel like.   Especially yesterday when a sensitive stomach decided to contribute to the pain.           While Roland was delivering his talk in church, I was on our bathroom floor experiencing dry heaves.   Perhaps I was dehydrated.   I gulped some water.   Of course, I threw that up.   I wore myself out throwing up and holding my head and crying because I hurt.   I did manage to make it back to my bed and listen to my deep breathing get softer until I even...

                                          Before it started to rain in March, I had a dry cough.   A very annoying dry cough as though I had swallowed a hair ball and couldn’t get it out of my system.   Then the rains came and gradually my cough left me.   I was able to go on stage to perform with the choir on Easter.    I had forgotten that the primary had been invited to join us.   The song was “Gethsemane” (see here ). Our primary kids sound like angels whenever that song is performed. My eyes leak whenever they’re performing.   I was too choked up to sing with them.   After Easter my dry cough returned.   Gradually it became a wet cough.   On Tuesday I was sore from head to toe.   Pain in my cheeks  ...

I'm sore I don't know why I'm feeling muscles that I didn't know I had They're crying, "You never pay attention to us. We want to be known!" And I say, "Not if you're going to treat me with such disrespect that I can't get comfortable.   I don't remember ever feeling so sore.   Why are you so against me?" I don't even know where the sores came from.   I felt fine when I left the pool yesterday.   The pain didn't start until I stood in line to get my lunch.   Maybe I just slept on it wrong.   Maybe my body just wanted to stay in the water and was slow about realizing that it had been out for some time. I'm not a graceful ager.   I hate it.

                It's been a year since Jeanie passed - not that I dwell on dates when people died.   Her mom does.   She's always posting the birthdays and death dates of those who have passed on.   Some days are better for her than others.   I think some days may be worse for her than they were for Jeanie.   I can't say for certain since most of the correspondence I've had with them has been through facebook.   I didn't even have that with Jeanie those times that she not only unfriended me but blocked me as well.   Apparently, it was the medication disrupting her otherwise rational mind.   It not only shattered her own emotions, but I had allowed myself to become upset as well.   I may never know the entire scheme of things; I did learn so much more about her at her funeral than I had ever known about her before.         ...

        A garden, by definition, is either a cultivated plot of ground or a gathering place such as a park which is generally adorned with plants and trees.   I guess I have never considered the definition until quite recently.   We had our Stake Conference this weekend, and one of the speakers mentioned two specific gardens found in the scriptures and discussed the symbolic differences between them.           The Garden of Eden, as mentioned in Geneses,          is outlined as a paradise.   We see paintings of fruit and vegetation, peace and waterfalls, a beautiful place where everything is tranquil.   I guess it represents a kind of perfection.           The Garden of Gethsemane, as portrayed by each of the gospels, does not have the same appeal.   Paintings often depict a drab setting wi...

                I am now taking two accounting classes.   The language is foreign to me.   I do okay in accounting 108 but I seem to be reading (and hearing) binary code for the other.   I have seen the names of only two other classmates who are currently taking both classes.   What is up with that?   Just because I don't see their names doesn't mean all my other classmates are taking the same two classes but with different instructors.   I personally would rather have just one at a time - or at least one on Monday morning and not have to wait for a walk through for both classes on Tuesday evening . . . and still replay the recordings over and over in hopes that I'll understand.                 I like my 108 instructor.   He's not boring.   He is easy to follow.   I understand wha...