I miss my mom. I have missed her since before she passed.
As I start aging, there are more things that I appreciate or understand about mom that I may have taken for granted many times before. I don’t have the exceptional hearing that my mom did, and my eyesight is no longer what it used to be. I find that I am often blowing up the screen or font size – especially when I am trying to view two windows at once. I will still do a spell check but am unsure if a suggested word is the one I really want to use; I can’t see what is being suggested – not from a comfortable position anyway.
I remember going to the pool with mom – who seemed to have worse eyesidht then than I do now. She was literally blind without her glasses. There wold be a clock right above the pool. She could see the clock itself – but couldn’t determine where the hands were. She would always ask what time it was. I couldn’t understand why it was a problem for her. Now I do.
Jenna will often say things to her dad or me that we’ll ask her to repeat. My hearing is better than Roland’s. It used to be as great as Jenna’s. At least I still have the ability to hear and see – just not small fonts or faint sounds. I have lost my inability to smell and have written a few posts about that. My mom’s smelling sense had been numbed when she was very young. I don’t remember my mom ever being able to smell. Every once in a while I can smell things faintly – but not often. I still don’t know what skunk smells like, even though Roland has pointed it out.
Mom would get frustrated with herself when she couldn’t remember the words she was searching for; she would get even more upset if someone tried to help her out by suggesting words. She would forget what it was that she was trying to say. I have experienced that myself – though I don’t remember having dealt with it much this year. Jenna has figured out that it annoys me. Roland hasn’t though.
The change of life. We all grow old. Sometimes we forget things. Sometimes we lose our senses. Why do so many age quickly while others don’t seem to age at all? I don’t get it.
I miss my mom.