I Am an Oddball

                During the course of our blogs, my brother and I have both mentioned how our growing up years may have seemed idealistic – how our share of problems pale in comparison to countless others.  I don’t relate to dysfunctional families and am highly grateful for that.  As I looked around the room during Relief Society yesterday I noticed each one of the sisters (or most of them) had been a part of a dysfunctional family either in childhood or parenthood – sometimes both I felt a sense of sadness.  I don’t/didn’t wish to appear like I was boasting with my “unexpected answer to prayer” example compared to great struggles and hardships of others. 

       I am GRATEFUL to be an oddball.  The closest I have come to experiencing the dysfunctional thing has been on the outside seeing a glimpse of Biff’s challenges and his in-laws.  I hadn’t thought of them as dysfunctional but there are some definite issues there.  But we all have challenges.  Mine have always been financial – a worldly matter. At least that is how I’d like to view it.  I have had great respect for my parents and sibs – especially with age.  I don’t know that I receive the same respect from my boys as I gave my own parents – but they came with baggage.  All three have some form of ADD or ADHD and often (or perhaps always) offhand behavior displayed (if any) is not their fault. 

      I believe that Jaime and I have the same kind of relationship as I had with my mom.  My mom was a great friend and nurturer to all four of her children.  We all seem to have married well and have carried the torch into our families – or tried to.  One brother has four children in the same order as me and my sibs.  My sister has a girl and two boys.  My other brother has cats who are loved every much as the biological children of the other two.

     Two of us have married spouses who don’t necessarily come from dysfunctional families but have in-laws with dysfunctional issues – unglued for whatever reason.  We pray for them that their hearts will be softened – that they may return to a life without so many complications. I’ve met all of Richard’s sibs, two of the spouses, some of the cousins – just a handful.  It’s strange. 

No Dice

                I don't know how old the "Feature Films for Families" is.  The earliest date I can find for my research is 1991.  But it seems like my mom purchased films through the company long before then.  Perhaps I am mixed up with my memory thinking that Kayla and Corey were still in elementary school, but maybe it was 1991 and the children were Ellen and Kimball.

               

                I remember "Banjo, the Woodpile Cat" which I believed was an original of the FFFF company as the story takes place in Payson, Utah before Banjo runs away to Salt Lake City.  According to Wikipedia (here), the release date was December 21, 1979.  It makes more sense that FFFF got its start in the 70s rather than in the 90's as the quality of film I've come across has been screaming 70's - although the dates on the case imply years from the 1990 decade.

                FFFF (here) was created with the intention of wholesome entertainment to not only watch with the family but establish conversations and learning.  "What was the purpose of the film" broken down into "Why do you think this character made a certain choice?" and "What did he/she learn?"

                Last year I came home with a box of videos that the library had given away.  There were many from the FFFF collection - some I had seen before but thought I might like to see again.

                I don't know why I hadn't tried viewing any of them sooner, but they stayed untouched for almost a year.  Recently I decided I would watch some of them.  So far, while the stories themselves have been okay or even good, the acting and/or quality of film have been disappointing.  It doesn't know that I was bothered by it before, but a lot of it thus far has appeared amateurish to my eyes.   Some I have finished watching.  Some I watch in parts.  Others I have stopped and rewound and will never finish.

                I have started a pile of antique relics that most people may not even have machines for.  They will go in the next yard sale at 10 cents or less.  I hope that they will find a good home.  I like the concept of the FFFF.  I even see some on their list that I have enjoyed and would watch again.  But thus far, I have not seen it among the VHS tapes that are currently in our possession.

Opening a Facebook Account for Jenna

            I have noticed with each passing year, Jenna has had friends or acquaintances join Facebook – which has an age restriction – and I know for a fact that they are all younger than required age. 

            There have been some who've asked for her email address and we have given out mine, as Jenna does not have one.  She did have one through the school, but has forgotten it.  But I don’t imagine she could start a facebook account with a school email address anyway. 

            I could pay 50 cents to start an email account for her – or lie about her age – which evidently is what most of her friends or acquaintances (or their parents) have done.  How important is it for her to have this that we need to lie about it?  Thus she still isn’t on facebook.

            The novelty will where off – even with the JibJabs – which is her favorite part about going on facebook right now anyway.  Laughing at her silly uncle who has children who enjoy telling him what pictures to use and then laughing at themselves as their heads move to animated bodies.

            There are pros and cons to being on facebook.  Many people have connected through facebook.  Many have been slandered or lost their jobs.  Users need to be wise.  But there is still corruption that the user can’t always control.

            It is far more important to me to teach Jenna honesty than to have her engage in the temporary satisfaction of being on Facebook.  She’ll get there soon enough.

Prioritizing expense

I'm grateful to have second hand stores or gift cards or sales in which I can make a purchase for a book bag or back pack.

 

I ragged on my daughter's lack of responsibility in yesterday's post.  Her backpack had been in the car on Saturday but she doesn't remember seeing it on Sunday.  Someone had been in the car looking for something.  We concluded that the back pack had been stolen by whoever it was.  We made a police report, but I don't expect that anything will come of it.  Wish they would have at least emptied the contents before stealing the backpack though.

Every once in a while I will see something quite profound on facebook.  I really like this thought posted by one of my friends:

"I was shopping when I saw a purse for over $1,000.00 Really! for a purse! I could buy groceries for 2 months for the price of that purse. Wow, even if I had that kind of money to spare I could never spend that kind of money on something so frivolous as a purse. Think of all the people I could help with that much money. It was probably a very nice purse, BUT IT'S A PURSE. My little purse I use is almost 2 years old and it costs me $20.00, It's looking a little worn but it still works just fine, thank you very much. Then it occurred that somewhere in the world there is probably someone saying “$20.00 for a purse! I could have fed my family for a month for $20.00” Yep, compared to the rest of the world I am wealthy indeed, and for that I am grateful. To show my gratitude I will be more generous with the money I have been blessed with."

When the Networks promoted Values

When I was younger I had a crush on Michael Cole who portrayed the character Pete Cochran on the Mod Squad.  I was probably more in love with the idea of Pete than I was infatuated with Michael.

Recently I watched an episode of the old TV Series and felt admiration all over again. Pete Cochran is a gentleman.  He opens doors for women.  He shows compassion. 

This particular episode was shot in its final season around Christmas time.  An acquaintance of Pete asked him if he could watch his daughter for an hour.  The acquaintance said there was some business he needed to take care of but that he’d be right back.  Pete willingly took his daughter and kept on eye on her for several hours actually.

Pete, estranged from his own parents, encouraged the little girl to pray.  She said that she didn’t believe in God and Pete’s answer introduced her to the world of hope.  I admired him for his carefully selected words.  And I admired the humility involved in his relationship with the girl and how he and Julie and Linc all care for one another.

The girl talks Pete into purchasing a tree, and while at the tree lot she discovers the nativity and walks toward it and looks upon it with wonder.  I enjoyed watching the show – not just for the memories of this awesome Pete Cochran – but also for the values that the networks had once incorporated into their television programming and for the messages on hope, prayer and the true meaning of Christmas.  Seems that so much of that has been lost in over the years – especially in what we’ve settled on in TV entertainment. 

A Unique Approach

         I really did not know my Grandpa James.  I was told that he was the black sheep in his family.  His biological mother died only a week after he was born.  He grew up having made quite a few errors.  He enjoyed smoking, drinking and older woman.  I’m not certain how he and grandma met as he was from Ogden and she was from Panguitch.  I think he may have had family living in Panguitch.  I don’t know.

          I would think he hadn’t joined the navy until after he married my grandma as they lived in Utah for almost four years.  My mom was two when the navy took them from Utah to San Francisco

         My maternal grandparent’s divorced after my mom had turned thirteen.  But I believe they were still married when my grandfather planted an early seed to discourage my mom from wanting to smoke or drink. Perhaps it was the year they divorced – I don’t know.  I just remember her relating the following (but I don’t know how old she was – or young rather)

         Her father took her aside and said, “[June], this is the day you get to smoke.”

         Both of her parents were heavy smokers, and I don’t know if she showed interest in wanting to smoke, if she ever tried stealing cigarettes or at least pretended to smoke. Perhaps he did it of his own free will with the hopes that it would discourage her.

         Mom said it might not have been so bad if he would have just given her a cigarette that had been a part of her life before birth – in the air she breathed and saw on a daily basis.  But Grandpa James lit up a cigar and gave it to her.  Of course she gagged and coughed and couldn’t (nor wanted to) finish.  And Grandpa James said something along the lines that it was okay, but that if mom chose not to finish the cigar than she might as well not smoke EVER

     

                            

         I don’t know if he tried the same trick with the alcoholic beverage.  It seems like mom did tell me something but I can’t remember the exactness of it.  I just know it left an impact on her that she remembered – and shared.  NOT a good experience, but an educational one.

         This is not a method that I’d be willing to try out myself.  But I’m glad that it worked out for my mother.  I think she did say she tried a cigarette when she was sixteen, but never made it past the first couple of puffs.  Good job, Grandpa James!

ABC Family - Entertaining Us With Lies

Kayla and I were looking through the TV grid and she asked me if I ever watched a program “Switched at Birth” – as I had missed out on the pilot, I didn’t fully understand what was going on nor understood how all of the characters involved were connected.

It wasn’t until just recently that I was able to back up to the beginning and felt sucked into certain characters even though I was unbelievably shaking my head more with each episode as the parents lied to their kids, and the kids lie to the parents, and the parents just don’t understand why their children would lie.

They have lied to spare hurt feelings – they say they are protecting the victim – whom becomes more of a victim because they had not been confronted with the truth to begin with. 

Only one character who has lied has actually felt guilty about it and does not seem to have a place within her to deceit – and yet as she finds herself around it day after day at home, at school, at work . . . the lying seems to come easier for her and perhaps any remorse she may have felt when the first lies were told will become a thing of the past.

And somehow I’m intrigued to keep on watching – hoping someday the cast members may be able to figure it out – that one day they will be able to look in the mirror and see their own errors before making judgement calls.  And I continue to ask myself: “Why am I watching this?”

I like the show “Bunheads” but even that has its share of lies and deceit – usually in order to “protect another” but there is one character that lies to all people, mom, dad, friends and has been doing it for so long that she has absolutely no conscience for anything that she does that isn’t honest.

Some other series that abc Family has to offer are “The Secret Life of An American Teenager” and “Pretty Little Liars” which also introduce us to more lies and deceit (though I have not actually watched either one – advertisements and title tell me) And now they've got another one called "The Lying Game" What happened to the wholesomeness and values that we would each like to incorporate into our family values?  Or at least I’m assuming we do.

I am grateful for the Disney movies that can often be seen on abc family (though we don’t actually get that station anymore but some other people do) because if it was just the series that they’ve been spinning out, it’s not the family station I want to represent family values.  Not my family anyway. 

Perhaps abc stands for Absolute Beguiled Craftiness . . .