Flies by Day, Mosquitos by Night

         I have always hated flies.  Annoying creatures that buzz around my face and land their teeny legs on my skin to share their germs.  My idea of hell consists of non-dying flies.

         Mosquitos never bothered me quite so much when I was single.  They loved my brother, Patrick.  I could stand next to him anytime the mosquitos were out and never be bitten.  He could even be doused in an entire can of repellent and I with nothing, and the mosquitos would still go after him.  I had actually convinced myself that mosquitos actually died on my blood.

         During the last five years or so, my blood must have improved in taste – or else the mosquitos are just getting more desperate.  I know the Red Cross is.  They had also taken my blood out of desperation.  It’s never been wonderful blood like Patrick or Roland has. 

I don’t know about Patrick, but Roland gets contacted by Red Cross every two months as though it’s mandatory now.  So why do the mosquitos always feast on me instead of him?  Because he’s always hidden under a blanket while I am always exposed?  Back in my childhood day, the mosquitos would have found a way to get under the blanket to get Patrick’s blood and still leave me alone.

         I have written this post about a family tradition in which we honor Christmas in July.  Though the last two years have been in August. 

         Michelle had messaged family members on facebook to give us a date and to make/get food assignments.  Messaging is supposed to be discreet, but somewhere along the way, at least one mosquito learned of the event.

         Corey had already responded that he and Joh would be unable to make the event.  When Michelle announced that we had surprise visitors, she was absolutely right.  We were all surprised to see Joh and Corey walking towards us.

         As the food broke out, so did the flies.  As Corey and I sat and visited, we both waved our arms as we swatted at flies.  As we were waving our arms I made the comment that I didn’t know which was worse: mosquitos or flies.  Within a matter of minutes I got my answer.

 

         Mosquitos, aware of our party, must have sent out a bulletin that read:

Free Blood Banks!

Free succulent blood!

Backyard party at Michelle’s house.

Tell ALL of your friends!

Every mosquito within a 500-mile radius must have shown up to chomp on my family.  The itches usually don’t start up quite that soon for me.  These mosquitos were ruthless.  They showed no mercy.  Amazingly none of us needed to leave in an ambulance.  We’re all still alive.  None of us were devoured to death – though I think that may have been preferable.  At least I wouldn’t itch anymore.

I’ve got huge bites on my arms and legs.  One even dared bite the bottom of my foot.  HOW DARE HE (or she)!  My family was not designed to be the source of another creature’s picnic food.  I wonder how swollen Patrick is right now.  Or Corey.  He received just as many bites as I had – or more.  Perhaps all of us got bitten equally – except for Joh.  He claimed the mosquitos weren’t bothering him. How's that even possible?

If it was fat that mosquitos were feasting on instead of bloeed, I could learn to live with the itching.  All family members involved would be so thin right now.

Mosquitos MUST DIE!!!

Magpies and Mosquitoes

           I remember seeing Magpies when I was younger.  Occasionally I would notice one or two – never an entire flock!  I thought they were a very interesting and beautiful bird.  I didn’t know that magpies are dirty birds with thieving habits.  I still don’t know much about them. 

           They must have flown here from Colorado as I have seen more magpies this year than in the first fifty combined. I now feel the same annoyance toward them that I feel toward mosquitoes. If the Magpies would just leave our gardens alone and go after the mosquitoes, Jenna and I would be willing to call the Magpies our friends.

            Poor Jenna.  She’s received four to six times as many bug bites as I have.  Her blood must be succulent like Patrick’s.  No matter how many precautions we take, the mosquitoes have ignored and attack anyway.  One might think we have been camping in the wilderness and not receive them in our house in the city.   I never put a sign in my yard that said: “All Magpies and Mosquitoes welcome!  Please!  Come help yourself to whatever!” Those varmints are NOT WELCOME.!  Let’s get rid of them ALL.!

If These Little Vampires Carry Disease . . . We Are in Big Trouble

I rarely ever have the covers on when I’m asleep – regardless of the season.  Roland is the opposite.  He is usually all bundled up.  When I see him without blankets, I know it is hot.

The weather on Friday was so awesome!  It looked like summer outside, but it felt like fall. 

            The grass is dry.  Our grass is always dry.  I worry about it each year there have been fires, and spend more time trying to douse our lawn with moisture.

            I recall going camping when I was younger.  The weather in the mountains is a lot cooler than the city. I remember one year when we went with the neighbors across the street.  Their youngest boy was less than a year.  The mosquitoes would attack him along with my brother Patrick, has always had delicious blood.  The center contacts him every other month to come donate.  He can donate to babies.  That kind of blood is rare.

          Off used to have a commercial in which ordinary people would put their hands in a mosquito filled container to retrieve money – and if the subject was bit he or she would supposedly get to keep the money.  I always felt like Patrick should be a contestant and rake in a fortune – but than he’d probably just end up spending on medical bills to get rid of the damage the mosquitoes left him with.

            Mosquitoes used to come from miles around to feast on Patrick’s blood.  He could use and entire can of repellant and I could stand next to him without protection and the mosquitoes would always go after him.  Mosquitoes were willing to sacrifice the horrid taste and damage of the repellant just to get to Patrick’s blood.  
 

            One year we went on a family outing, and though the showers were not incredibly far from the cabin, Patrick would be covered with mosquitos when he returned.  It almost looked like moving hair.  His comment was, “Oh, just what I want to do – shower off with water and then bathe in repellant before I return.”

            Lately the animals have been feasting on my left arm, hand and fingers – as if it has been the only part of me that they’ve had access to.  Though my bites are minimal compared to Jenna.  I don’t remember having all these mosquitoes flying in and attacking us last year.  And why aren’t they going after Roland?  His blood is the kind that can be donated to babies, too.

I might get a phone call once or twice a year asking me to donate.  I know that they are desperate when I get called. My blood is put on the shelf with a note: use only when there is no other alternative.  I always believed that if mosquitoes went after my blood, that they would die.  I hope they all do.  I am so tired of the itch that makes me feel like I slept with fiberglass.  Get rid of these pesky mosquitos.  I bet that’s how plants feel about weeds and birds.