Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

A Passing Phase Perhaps . . .


        From the time she was eight years old, Jenna had always asked me for her own personal facebook account.  She enjoyed watching the JibJabs that my brother-in-law will occasionally post and wanted the opportunity to make comments herself instead of having me type "Jenna says . . ."  Over the years, many of her friends started their facebook accounts and she would ask if she could start one.  Each year the request was included on birthday or Christmas lists.  At the end of 2014 I created this post. 
     
          It wasn't until we had moved to Oregon - so far away from our family - that I understood why so many of her friends may have had "illegal accounts" as they all had family members they didn't have many opportunities to spend time with.  We had lived in Oregon for almost a year when I set up an "illegal" facebook account for her.  The objective was to keep contact with her brothers and aunts and uncles.  At first she seemed leery about adding people whose names she didn't recognize (good for her), but after a while many school mates made it to the facebook friend list.  She  found former acquaintances she had known in different parts of Salt Lake.  She had fun creating posts and playing games - though I had reminded her several times that is not why the account had been created.  I discouraged her from playing games or sharing her profile.  I don't know how many times she was hacked.  I suggested that she change her password either weekly or bi-monthly.

            I think the novelty had worn off as it had for me in this post.  There are certainly some advantages and disadvantages of being on facebook. After a year, Jenna is bored with facebook and asked if we could delete her account.  We haven't figured out how to close it permanently and so currently it's just deactivated until she decides that she would like to use it again.  And it's okay if she decides not to return.  My brother, Patrick has never had an account nor do I suspect he ever will.  There are leaders in the primary who don't have accounts. 
          I think it is a great source of communicating among certain groups.  I know many who post for upcoming Church activities, or community functions or family gatherings.  In fact I have given examples here and here and I've known some who have been inconvenienced when they no longer have that connection (for instance it was the policy of  Granite School District that all employees must not have facebook contact with the students;  one of my facebook friends, who fixes computers at all the schools in the district, was expected to delete those students he kept in contact with to make them aware of scouting events that had nothing to do with the school - but it was for protection reasons that the "unfriending" thing happened)

            Jenna isn't great at controlling her emotions - especially during that time of the month.  But hey, I was a teenage girl who had issues with that time of the month.  I understand.  Facebook didn't exist when I was her age, but I'm certain I would have gotten bored with it also.  She loves to draw and color.  It's the only passion she's been consistent about.  Everything else has been a fad.  Perhaps one day she will find something that she is willing to hang onto. Perhaps she will do something with her art.  She says she would like to lean towards cartooning.  That would be cool.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Social Media


            I am the administrator of two groups in facebook.  The first is a Relief Society page that I had started for the ward that I'm in as it has been the only not to have a ward or RS page, and I missed it.  The second group Jenna and I had volunteered to get started in April (I believe) after Myrtle Creek Library closed its doors and several library users wanted to form a group in hopes to reopen the library.  The group page has existed for less than three months, but twice as many members and A LOT of contributors.  Though each says she really appreciates the group page, getting other sisters to post their thoughts on the RS page is like pulling teeth.  We have twice as many members in our "Friends" group and thankfully I'm not the only one who has been posting everything.



            We had a meeting last night for the "Friends" group, and I will have another one this morning with the Summer Reading Program committee.  Myrtle Creek does a city wide yard sale each year for four years now.  It will take place in two weeks - which doesn't give our group much time for renting out booths and tables as suggested by one member.  No one in our group has a key to the library nor permission to use facility (although Marilyn often gets her way with the mayor - it's still something that has to be voted on by the council) and so we'll be setting up shop at the old laundry mat (which actually is where the last two meetings were held - it is weird hearing projected voices of the acoustics that are very different from the City Council building or Nazarene church where we used to meet) and so I posted the information last night before I went to bed.  Thus far there have been three shares - one included the Winston Wire (I'm guessing their newspaper) Wow.



            "Friends" caught on like wildfire. Would like to see that with the RS page.   

Thursday, May 18, 2017

VENTING


What is up with Roland picking the absolute hottest part of the day to do the yard?  Would you believe we actually had the heat on this morning and now I am attempting to cool off as I sit beside the A/C?  What fickle weather we have.



Speaking of weather – I will be using the bizarre weather to promote my pretend business that I’m now in the process of creating for my assignment for the next four weeks.  If imagination counts, I should do well in the class. 



So I was actually on the tail end of this week’s assignment  (which may vary from week to week – I don’t know) when I received a text from my sister indicating that my facebook had been hacked.  Oh, great.  I signed onto facebook and discovered three more p.m. to inform I’ve been hacked.  Now four, five . . . I also was expecting a call and had to prepare for that – plus Roland needs me to take pictures of him on a weekly basis so that he can send them in to his health advisor and even though I had taken the pics, I hadn’t sent them over.  The frustration was setting in and swallowing me up the way algebra does.



I couldn’t deal with facebook – and somehow pressed the wrong button and found myself on the email page only I couldn’t get in, but I could on another tab.  What the flip?  If more of my family would use email and not rely solely on facebook, I might just give up my facebook account.  But it’s hard as there are only three of us in Oregon, one in Las Vegas and all the rest of the family in Utah so far away.  I like having the social media but it can be very irritating at times.



By the time I get on facebook, I am up to nine friends who tell me I’ve been hacked.  Kayla has also posted a warning on my wall for all people NOT to accept friendship requests from friends who know me.  And there were comments left from others who were just about to private message me.  What take a good thing and create a monster?



Roland is now on his way to Roseburg with Jenna.  I have both phones.  Dang.  I should have left mine in the car.  I did try to get them before they pulled out of the driveway.  That's sort of how my entire day's been going.  I better read over my assignment before I turn it in. 



DANG IT! 

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Familiar Faces




            About a year and a half ago, I was on facebook checking out their statistics, though I generally don't put a lot of stock in what results are given.   According to facebook, my husband Roland and I are the most opposite of me and any of my facebook friends.  I can believe that.  According to facebook, my soul mate is Carolyn - who I had known less than a year.  I've now known her for almost two.  The more time I take to get to know her, the more it feels like we have in common.  I guess facebook was right.

            Not only that, but every time I added a family photo, facebook will automaticlly tag the pictures and actually get most of them right.  But every time my mom is in the photo, facebook puts Carolyn's name on the photo instead of my mom's. I guess there is a resemblance.  I do see more between my mom and Carolyn than I do between my mom and Peggy Bird.  Peggy was our neighbor from across the street.  I bet  one was mistaken for the other at least once a week.  None of their children saw it.

            I know I have a face that often looks familiar to most people.  Perhaps that is why people always used to talk to me on the bus; they thought they were talking to somebody else.  I know for a fact that some doors were open to me on my mission because they thought I was somebody else.  We would start our approach and they would look at us and then our name tags and finally figure out I wasn't who they thought I was.  That was weird.

            Carolyn said she thought my mom looked younger than her.  I would have never guessed that Carolyn is as old as she is.  She and my mom are two years apart.  Carolyn is younger.  I had mentioned that my mom had passed away in 2013.  She was quite disappointed and said she wanted to meet mom.

            "You will," I assured her. "But just let's hope you don't meet her soon."

Friday, August 26, 2016

You Can't Change Others - You Can Only Change You



            When my sister brought her family to Oregon for a visit, she also brought a box that I had left in the shed back in Kearns.  In the box were several photos - some that had already been scanned; some were not.  I decided to scan most  of them and post them to facebook.

            I had found Pamprin (here) on facebook a while ago.  I have clicked on her profile just to see updated photos and have shared them with Jenna and Roland.  




            When I started clicking on photos that included Pamprin, her name came up to tag.  That seems weird as we don't seem to have any mutual friends. But then again, she is the only one in there. I thought that it might be a blessing and that perhaps she or her sibs would feel the desire to reconnect.  However, when I went back to tag some untagged photos, I noticed her name had been removed from all the photos.  So here are my theories:

            A.  Pamprin has no desire to be a part of the family.  She removed all of my tags and prevented me from tagging any pictures of her in the future.  I wasn't trying to stir up ill feelings.  I was really hoping to make a connection between her and her sibs.  But apparently, the feeling is not mutual.  

            B. She deleted them to prevent her mom from seeing them, thus preventing confrontation with one who is psychologically messed up.

            C. She never got to see the photos as she and her mom share the same computer and her account was still up when her mom got onto the computer and deleted all tagged photos.  

            D. Granted, some of them were not the most flattering photos.  Pamprin seems weight conscience.  I know she hasn't had the best eating habits in the past, but she is also big-boned.  I don't know of any diet plan that can produce weight loss in bones.  Perhaps she was embarrassed by the photos.




            Whatever the reason, I'm sorry about our situation.  It would be nice if Jenna and brothers got to know their sisters.  At this point, I don't even think the boys care anymore.  Tony never send Pamprin a friend request because of Maleficent's  piercing eyes and constant interference. Maybe some things are  better left alone.

            I remember  I once had a family history teacher that found her sister after years of searching.  Both had grown up in foster care (obviously separated from one another) and the woman she had found had discarded her past - or so she had hoped.  So while my friend had searched for a connection and finally found one - the person on the other end turned all her hard work into a dead end.  If someone doesn't wish to be contacted, what do you do?




            At least Pamprin did not make the request for me to remove all of her photos from my wall.  Nor has she blocked me from viewing her account (at least not yet). I am  unwilling to remove some photos as she's still a part of Jenna and their brother's past.
            We can't change the past.  We can learn from it, treasure it, try to escape it, or just deal with it.  I hope that one day the issues at hand may be resolved and new discoveries can be made.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Drop Kick That Blonde Spider


       Recently I had a dream that I was cleaning around the house when I noticed a plastic bag with a collage of items inside.  I was startled to see a rather large spider crawling toward the top.  Of course I freaked.  This was not any ordinary spider - it was one that would be displayed at a zoo or museum because of its enormous size - 2-3 times larger than the tarantula.  And dirty blonde.  It was creepy.

       I thought by sealing up the plastic bag, I would have better control over the fate of the spider, but it managed to escape - which of course made it more scary.  Though it appeared to be larger than many rodents, it moved quickly and I didn't always know where the spider was.

The spider I dreamed was more blonde (not as much brown) but the size
is about the same.  Too many pictures to wade through.  I still have chills.


       It's not something I could scoop into a glass and set free. I knew in order to kill that thing, I would have throw a dictionary on top and proceed to stomp on the dictionary and still would be too scared to lift the dictionary back up for fear the spider would still be alive. If I left the dictionary in place I would not be able to sleep - wondering how long it would be before the spider found the strength to move the dictionary and wander off.

       It seemed I was experiencing this spider-turmoil all night long.  There was a point I questioned as to whether I had dreamed it or if it was real.  Of course it was a dream - and it probably wasn't even that lengthy of a dream.  I wondered if maybe it wasn't/isn't symbolic of the relationship I am currently experiencing with my eldest daughter-in-law (Biff's wife) who has managed to turn herself into Roland's ex shortly after giving birth to my currently youngest granddaughter. 


       The blonde spider may be symbolic of the turmoil that I had felt at the time I had the dream (back in December) or stirred up anger I have toward bullying and irrational behavior.  I want that blonde spider out of my life.

       As I copied to post, I read this thought from the blogs that I read.  Thank you, Debbie Crews.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Mending the Broken



          Yesterday morning was overly dark.  It was cold and raining.  It mirrored the emotions of my heart

          I had heard a quote from a TV show that got me thinking.  The quote was something to the affect of, "sometimes things get broken and sometimes broken things just can't be fixed"

                    There is a number of tangible items that have had to be discarded as they have either gone beyond repair or just don't seem worth the effort.  How blessed we are that we are God's children and are worth the effort of not being broken - though for many of us some trials have made us question our worth.

          Earlier in December, my eldest daughter-in-law chose to not only defriend me on facebook, but block her account as well.  Less than two weeks later, she sent a friend request along with a mountain of apologies and excuses.  She said that her new meds were to blame and made the promise that she'd never again unfriend me. 

          I did believe in her apology for her flippant behavior.  But even before she and Biff wed, she seemed to have a personality that could turn from hot to cold within the manner of seconds.  I'll admit, I do not know her very well,  but I do see her as having unstable behavior.  At least she is seeing a therapist or psychiatrist of some kind - unlike Roland's ex who refused to go back to anyone who may offer any criticism or not agree with her every word.  At least she is trying - or so I'm told.

          I accepted her friendship request knowing full well that I may be blocked again sometime in the future.  The future has arrived.  Not only has she blocked herself, but managed to block Biff as well.  How dare she. 

          Thus far there hasn't been a response to the texts or voicemails that I left for Biff.  If she managed to take his phone away, I don't know how to communicate with him - unless he lets us know how we can make contact with him.

          Before she removed us from her account,  Biff called to explain about his latest - but unfortunately familiar predicament.  We have two granddaughters who were born in August.  They share a month, and Jeanie can't stand that her daughter has the same birth month as her cousin.  They are two weeks apart  and her claim is that everybody in the family loves Devin more than her Ali.  According to her, nobody in Biff's entire family has showed support (which is so not true - or it's been because of Jeanie's incredible mood swings and nothing to do with Ali herself.  Talk about stepping on egg shells - egg shells with rattle snakes in them!)

          I don't know how many times I've been down this road of emotional turmoil and flippant behavior.  I was so hurt and distraught in December.  But this time, in addition to the hurt and heartache,  there is anger.  I have been down this road with Roland dealing with his deranged ex.  I had another unstable friend who displayed childish behavior with her defriending and blocking and changing her mind again until finally I said, "You know what?  I've had enough!"

          Jeanie's behavior is so identical to Roland's ex and to Hitler and Satan.  We don't know our own granddaughter and probably never will just as Roland and I don't know  Francis or Pamprin.  Their mom has used them as leverage to manipulate and control others.  Jeanie is doing the exact same thing with Ali.  Alienating Biff from the family (or at least trying to) and Ali from Biff.

          Both women are cookie cutter molds out of the Grimm's fairytales where there is no hero - only a large fire breathing dragon who has that time of the month all month long - except for that occasional few minutes of remorse.  But it doesn't last.  Sybil goes away and another personality takes over.





          Through God's mercy today's trials can become tomorrow's testimony - should I allow for that.  Right now this part of me feels broken - a part that cannot/will not be fixed.  Not in this lifetime anyway.  I hope I'm wrong.  I hope I live to see Roland's girls and my granddaughter Ali and I hope that their moms' issues may be resolved.  But as of now, I need to put all these negative emotions behind me and allow my focus to be elsewhere.    I would like this heavy weight lifted while I'm still on earth and of sound mind.  My time isn't God's time.  In my mind, it's already been too long.

          If we still lived in Salt Lake, I predict our situation would be worse than just facebook.  I know I would see Devin at least twice a week - more often than Ester and Ali put together.  Not because I'd choose it that way, but because I am actually a priority for Carrie and Randy and have been with all three of my boys.  But I'm not a priority for my other two daughters-in-law - or at least that is how I feel.  Jeanie has had interfering health and Rochelle seems to be afraid of forming bonds or just prefers spending time with her family and childhood ward members. 

           The healing between Jeanie and I is going to be long and slow if at all. 




Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Out of the Blue

          I vaguely remember reading about a situation of a girl who was struggling with maternal issues.  I don't know where I read it or how I had access, but evidently I commented on my own situation, trying to establish some kind of hope.  Two months later my family had moved from Kearns to West Valley.  I hadn't given my comment or the girl a second thought.

          We lived in West Valley for five and a half years before we moved to Oregon.  We've been in Oregon for seven months now and out of the blue I get this picture message and then a facebook request from someone I don't even know.  Turns out to be the girl who had saved my message to her phone and has had it there for all this time.  Evidently my words had left an impact on her end and she sought me out.

          I know I have done that myself.  Recently I sent a message to Jeff (mentioned in this post) although it's been over 35 years since we graduated high school  - at least I gave him something to go on - though he still may not remember me - nor is is it important.  What's important is that he was there for me and I did acknowledge it.  

        A similar situation occured with Maureen who sent me a friend request on facebook.  I did not recognize her name, nor did we have any friends in common.  She lives in Ireland.  I don't know anyone in Ireland.   I messaged her that I thought she had the wrong person.  But she was able to message me back exactly what I said.  

         The description fit.  How many other women with my name did not marry until age 39 and took in three boys and was grateful that she didn't have to go through potty training and had a tubular pregnancy and then gave birth to a girl even though the doctor said that there would be less than a 25% chance of getting pregnant. on and on.  Evidently I had also sent a picture of Jenna.  I don't remember doing that.

          I would not have this vague memory at all if I hadn't read what she had saved.  It is mind boggling to have someone contact you out of the blue like that.  I still don't understand how or where we made the connection.  She still has the same cell phone that she owned back in 2009.  I had gone through three phones and two different phone numbers (I think) in that same amount of time.  I have to delete things or else my phone will clog.  But then again, I still have a "grandma" style phone with buttons.  I don't like touch screen.  They frustrate me.



          I believe that God sends people into your life just when you need them.  We don't always know how we have influenced someone from our past, those we are aquatinted with, or even those we're not acquainted with.  Our thoughts, actions and emotions influence others close at hand and across the sea.  We don't always see it, but God does.  He has a hand in everything.  It is up to us to have the faith to understand the influence he brings to us through others.


          I just hope and pray that I may always contribute in ways that are positive.  I am reminded of this hymn.  I want to incorporate it into my life on a daily basis.  Thanks to modern technology, Maureen and I have the opportunity of corresponding and made a connection.  I am looking forward to many friendships.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Operation Grandma Care

I belong to 8 different groups on facebook.  I think the first group I joined (or was invited to) was a neighborhood watch - which apparently is still on facebook - but with only 4 members.  I don't know if it's active or not.  I had actually thought the group had dissolved, but I haven't been in said neighborhood for several years now - nor am I currently living in the same state.

Every ward that I have lived in has had a page and I really like that.  I especially like it when  organized members send out reminders of upcoming activities.  I was disappointed that there was no such page on facebook for this ward.  Thus after 6 months and 12+ friends, I decided to create my own page. Slowly the ball starts rolling.




I have joined other groups that have either dissolved (due to changes on facebook or lack of interest)  or haven't gone according to the  group starters expectations.  I think the one I enjoy most is the one we keep to share memories of our family - mom in particular.  It is also the smallest group I belong to.

It started out as a page of necessity created by my nephew-in-law, Nate.  He and my niece, Ellen, were living with mom at the time.  Mom's dementia would cause her to take off without any evidence as to where she might be, or else she would get lost and take a direction even further from where she wanted to be.  Mom could not be left alone, and we were each given a schedule.  Facebook gave us a source in which we could communicate our concerns.

Nate had included six of us in the group: Nate, Ellen, Ellen's mother Sunny, my sister Kayla, my brother Corey and me. Nate had named the group "Operation Grandma Care".  Over the months others had been invited into the group - Corey's husband Joh, Kayla's husband Bill, and our friend Peggy who lived across the street from my mom. Shortly after we put mom into an assisted living facility, Nate chose to leave the group. But we continued to keep the group open as we still had concerns and needs to express ourselves as we would visit mom. We focused on positive as well as the not so pleasant.  It was really good for us to have that source.




After my mom passed away, there were some of us who just didn't want to see the page dissolve, although we didn't need to voice our concerns about how mom was behaving or what our concerns were with her and the fate of the facility.  Kayla had changed the name of the group to focus on memories of my mom rather than our care for her health.  She laughed at the name as there were eight members of the group and only one was an actual grandchild.  The majority of us call her "mom"

It is my favorite group because we sometimes share things that others hadn't known.  Corey will share pieces of information from her journal.  Kayla and I have both shared things not only about mom but dad as well.  Peggy has also shared information that we appreciate being able to hold onto.


I love reaching out and having positive reasons to stay on facebook.  It really has done great things for a lot of people.  I hope to have the same positive results with the RS ward page that I just started.  So far all the feedback I've received has been positive.  

Monday, December 29, 2014

Opening a Facebook Account for Jenna

            I have noticed with each passing year, Jenna has had friends or acquaintances join Facebook – which has an age restriction – and I know for a fact that they are all younger than required age. 

            There have been some who've asked for her email address and we have given out mine, as Jenna does not have one.  She did have one through the school, but has forgotten it.  But I don’t imagine she could start a facebook account with a school email address anyway. 

            I could pay 50 cents to start an email account for her – or lie about her age – which evidently is what most of her friends or acquaintances (or their parents) have done.  How important is it for her to have this that we need to lie about it?  Thus she still isn’t on facebook.

            The novelty will where off – even with the JibJabs – which is her favorite part about going on facebook right now anyway.  Laughing at her silly uncle who has children who enjoy telling him what pictures to use and then laughing at themselves as their heads move to animated bodies.

            There are pros and cons to being on facebook.  Many people have connected through facebook.  Many have been slandered or lost their jobs.  Users need to be wise.  But there is still corruption that the user can’t always control.

            It is far more important to me to teach Jenna honesty than to have her engage in the temporary satisfaction of being on Facebook.  She’ll get there soon enough.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The Woman in the Background

Formally titled "Walking in Another’s Shoes (or "What Are the Odds?")"


Miranda and her mother live in Arizona.  They had come to Utah to spend the Thanksgiving Holidays.  On Black Friday they found themselves at an Old Navy store in Sandy, Utah.  The two were smiling as someone took their picture, which evidently Miranda immediately posted to her facebook page.  The focus should have been on mom and daughter – to see their happiness.  But for some reason her facebook friends seem more drawn to the woman in the background.  Apparently she wore a sour expression that many “friends” felt the need to poke fun at. 

         I have not seen the photo myself nor read the hurtful comments.  But I’ve been told that they exist - or did.  And with the given track record of facebook, I have no reason to doubt it.  People can be hurtful and mean and put others down without even knowing them or the circumstances or background of the individual that we are demeaning with our hateful words.  We become facebook bullies. 

         I have mentioned my sister-in-law, Sunny and her enthusiasm and her remarkable spirit.  Evidently she teaches the gospel doctrine lessons – which she says is somewhat intimidating, as most of the class members appear to be old enough to be her parents or grandparents.    Sunny always prays and studies out her lessons (or talks or sharing time or whatever her calling is) and always seems to have a fountain of Spirit pouring out of her.  She radiates! 
         Her subject was on the Proclamation of the Family.  Because of the signs of the time and issues in the media, she knew that subjects may be brought up with confrontation and judgment – and did not want her class to become a sideshow or debate.  She did a lot of research and called Corey to ask his approach.  Corey ALWAYS has good advice, as the Spirit seems to be with him ever much as it is for Sunny.

         Sunny ended up writing a huge list before the class had even started.  On her list she had put gay marriages, unwed mothers, child abuse, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, spousal abuse, divorce, temple marriages, civil marriages, single mothers, mixed families . . . . there were a lot.  It sounds like her list covered the entire board.

         After the opening prayer she shared the story at the beginning of this post – from her point of view.  Sunny was the sourpuss woman in the background of the photo.  She has some sibs who happened to be facebook friends with Miranda.  What are the odds?

         After far too many hurtful comments, one of Miranda’s friends contacted her and asked her to please remove the photo with all of it’s comments – for the woman in the background whom the “friends” were bashing was her sister – and it was hurtful to see all those unnecessary comments who had lost focus of what the picture really should have represented.

         Sunny (an enthusiastic shopper and person by nature) hadn’t had a proper amount of sleep and fully admitted that she was not in the best of mood when she returned to Old Navy for the third time in less than 24 hours.  It is quite evident from the photo that Sunny did NOT want to be there - but she is such a great mother she had sacrificed her time to take her fourteen year old daughter and stand in line while Candy found items that she wanted to purchase.  (Sunny is not her actual name.  I call her that because of her normally sunny disposition - which evidently is quite hidden in the photo) 

         Sunny finished relating the events that had taken place and concluded with a plea to not pass judgment.  She pointed to words on her list while saying, “This is my brother”,  “This is my sister”, and “Everybody in this room knows somebody on this list”  
         Sunny said the Spirit had been invited into the room and stayed throughout the class.  She said she felt great about the lesson and knows that others were touched as she received heartfelt compliments.  She really is a great teacher – great person really.  And those in Miranda’s circle would never say the mean things they did if they actually did know Sunny.

         As Sunny shared her lesson and as I later related this all to Roland, I realized that I am guilty of jumping to conclusions long before I try walking in another’s shoes.  May I always keep this with me that I may recognize that all people are a part of the human race – always somebody’s brother, somebody’s daughter, somebody’s parent, somebody’s friend.


         May we all recognize others as our own family members.


 


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Well, I Don’t Want to be His Facebook Friend



I have been getting a few friend requests from people I don’t know.  Initially when I joined the names of your friends and their friends and perhaps even your friend’s friend’s friends, and I had the option of requesting friendship – but as facebook has been changed so many  times, perhaps the request just comes automatically?

     I know only one person in Thailand and had received a request from another.  So I asked my son: Who is she.  He said he did not know her.  Why would someone from Thailand put in a request with a total stranger in the US?  I did not accept the friend request.  I checked the box that facebook provided.




     I smile when I hear others comment about requests that they’ve received.  It’s actually nice to create pages for groups such as the ward or neighborhood watch or school, etc.  Sometimes it’s nice to be informed of activities that are going on or news updates or what have you.  But sometimes – even though that person may be informative – there are certain individuals that you don’t want to friend.

     I smile when I think about a former neighbor who had such a problem with someone in the ward:  “Why is he sending this friend request to me? What would [husband] think?  I don’t want to be Mr. Information’s friend!”

     I laughed.

     “I’m already facebook friends with him”

     I don’t know why, but facebook gave me five friends to start out with.  My brother said that was unusual.  And neither one of us can explain why the five names came up that did. I knew all five of them.  But (no offense to them) there was only one that I had a close relationship to.  I would have actually picked five other people if I had been given the choice)

     There are names that have been added to my list throughout the years – and some that have been unfriended. Mostly by accident – I am great at hitting the wrong button.  Some that weren’t posting or commenting and so I didn’t know if they were still even on facebook.  And some who’s language I found offensive and just didn’t even care to read about them anymore.  And because either they defriended or facebook did.  (I lost about a dozen or so people during one of the facebook makeovers)



     Joining facebook is fun.  You feel a sense of pride with each name that is added.  You’re on it all the time!  It’s new.  It’s wonderful.  And some are diligent at signing on to facebook everyday – others may never sign off.  But after a while some are at a loss.  We check our facebook on occasion.  Look for updates or new photos.  But are generally in and out in less than twenty minutes.

     I considered dropping out a couple of times – but on the last attempt (when I thought I was serious) I really couldn’t figure out how to do it.  Just as well.

     My nephew-in-law had created a group for those of us who were looking in after mom.  To keep us all on the same page of what was going on.  We still use it, but not as often as we did before we moved her into assisted living. And my nephew-in-law has actually removed himself from the group.  Funny.

     Facebook has its perks.  I liked when we could message others without being friends – so we could explain who we are, how we know them, our purpose in messaging etc.  But facebook has taken that away.  Evidently there is an “other” box that non-friends can send their messages.  I have no clue where this box exists.  I would like to read my messages – I think.

A while back we could actually put the subject of our message so that the recipient would be able to let the title influence the decision of opening the message.  But now we get that stupid chat box pop up when sending messages. Often throws me off. I prefer the way it used to be.
Even though there are many who like what facebook has to offer and spend time using it to our advantage, it has also been poorly mismanaged by some who have left greatly offended by comments made and bashing.  You don’t get personal on facebook.  Maybe there’s some who can.  I choose not to. 

Thursday, December 27, 2012

LaTiesha Cannon: Part Time Detective (LOL)



About four months ago I posted this about my hang-ups with facebook.  One commenter lovingly chastised me by sharing what she LIKES about facebook.

I must admit, since then, I have checked it more often.  One reason is because of mom’s health and trying to keep all of those involved with her health care on the same page, one member created a private site for us to each update and view.  I notice we’re still not always on the same page however.

Facebook also gives one the opportunity to find acquaintances from the past and possibly make a connection. Google can do that, too.  But not resources apply – or are personalized in the same way in which some face users allow.  And so the story unfolds:

Erin, Fran, mom and Sally were friends in San Francisco.  The first three all ended up in Utah after they were married. 

Recently I had lunch with Fran and my mom.  Fran asked mom if she still heard from Erin.  She used to send Christmas cards out each year. Turned out that neither one of them had remembered hearing from their long time friend since she remarried.  They wondered whatever became of their friend Erin.

I remembered seeing the announcement several years ago – though I don’t recall her new last name.  Nor do I recall the first name of the groom. The last time I had seen her was a long while prior to that – at her husband’s funeral. 

She had five daughters.  Of course there was the brief introduction to all five at the funeral.  Before that I had met only three of them – Addison, Diane and Heidi.  Heidi was only three at the time.

Out of the blue, I typed in each of their names on facebook.  Heidi’s name was the only one that came up under her maiden name.  It could be her (Like I would really remember what she looks like) but I do know the name of the high school she attended.  I noticed several of her “friends” had her mother’s maiden name.  Surely, it had to be her.  But would she be willing to read a message from a stranger?  I didn’t believe that my name would even mean anything to her.

I sent the same message to one of Heidi’s sisters (whom I discovered on Heidi’s profile) and one to someone I supposed to be Erin’s brother – but I don’t know.  I let a few weeks pass before I figured out that my messages had been typed in vain.  (Facebook now monitors all messages and it appears that unless you are in the friends’ circle or at least maybe friends with someone who is, the message won’t appear in the box of the receiver – so really, what is the point of giving us that option?)

After two weeks, I once again attempted to find more current info for Erin.  I found her late husband’s obituary.  Oh, that would be helpful.  I learned the married names of four of her daughters (though it appears that Heidi has been remarried since then) and realized that I’d been spelling Addison’s name incorrectly. 

I found her on facebook and requested a friendship (not that I’m really requesting a friendship but she may not get my typed message otherwise; fb actually used to give that option when one made a friend request) and also learned of her current city and where she works and looked them up in the phone directory and learned that there is an Erin who is staying in the same household. 

Erin K. Brimley.  That could be her most recent married name.  I can’t remember.  She may be in a situation similar to mom’s and Addison is taking care of her.  I don’t know.  I may never know.  I did send a Christmas card to the address I found.

I passed what information I did have onto Fran.  I don’t know what may result from it.  But at least it’s there.  And perhaps, down the road, we may have more.   Hopefully it’s been a bit helpful for Fran.  It’s gotten me excited.

Monday, August 13, 2012

The Novelty has Worn off, That Ship has Sailed




          Recently I was watching a show (well, attempting to watch) called “Bunheads” The particular episode focuses around Michelle substitute teaching for Fanny, who is out of town, and, according to Facebook, will be for some time.

All of the supporting characters are aware of Fanny’s extended plans except for Michelle – who hasn’t checked her Facebook page and is bothered that the whole world seems to revolve around Facebook communication.

There is nothing private about Facebook.  Things are taken out of context, misunderstood, mistranslated, and up for political debate. 




One of my Facebook friends joined after three years of rebellion.  Facebook was not for her.  She’s been able to communicate just fine without it – but not always so informed.

Like Michelle, she’d learn from other people, “Oh, I hear your grandson won the trophy and that there will be a celebration.”  “Who else is going to Mr. Walkie’s picnic on Friday?” “Did you hear so and so got the lead in the school play?” 

Okay, I don’t know the exact quotes that she read.  The first example is probably totally inaccurate as she supports her grandchildren to the fullest and is always there – provided that the information has been related to her.

I guess after three years of listening to her family converse about current events that hadn’t yet reached her ears, she joined Facebook – though she seemed leery or did it out of rebellion or what have you.

Actually, it appears that she has been on it almost daily since she joined.  And usually her posts are profound and have great meaning.  She shares links and views and probably does reach more people now than before. 




I visit Facebook weekly at best.  I go in to view and post pictures and send wishes to those having birthdays (the calendar reminder is actually one of my favorite features)   Sometimes I read comments that have been made.  Overall I see it as a great big bill board with just as many advertisements as comments. 

The appearance of facebook has changed three to five times since I’ve joined – the latest being time line – and you are going to join forces weather you want to or not.  I actually didn’t have a problem with time line.  Corey has not been happy about the mandatory sweitch however.

I noticed that many times people leave comments on stupid posts, but I get very little on the ones that I really care about.  Or used to care about.  I seldom ever put posts on Facebook anymore.  I’d rather Blog what’s on my mind.