A Fork in the Road

            Many of us may have a destination in mind.  Some are fortunate enough to choose a path that they wish to follow.  For others, it may seem that life threw them a curve ball and the path they are on is not one of their choosing.  For example, you may be in a car accident on your way to work.  You may experience back injuries that will stay with you for the rest of your life.   

            You may have a son who is a victim of a knife wound that damaged his brain.  He can still carry on a conversation, even an intelligent one, but his social skills will always be like that of a nine-year-old and it will be frustrating for you to watch a forty-year-old man resort back to his immature childish reactions.  He might not be embarrassed when others snicker at him but perhaps you are.

           

            Your mother may get Alzheimer's or another form of dementia. She forgets names and events.  Her reality takes her back to another place in time - a time that you, yourself, have not experienced.  Her reality and yours are no longer the same. 

            Your niece had made plans of attending a more prestige high school in another city, but your sister gets pregnant with her second child.  Your niece now has to attend the local high school as your sister is now on bed rest and unable to drive her to the other school every day.

            Or you recently started having seizures and have been to several hospitals and doctors in less than a year and end up in a wheelchair.  You are not even seventeen.  This path you're on was definitely not part of your plan.

            Or your spouse dies three years after you marry and your only child hasn't even turned two yet.  Of course, all of these statistics affect many people.  We become caregivers or call on others to assist.  We don't wish to be a burden to anyone, nor do we wish to have our lives disrupted - not only emotionally but many feel financially drained as well.  So why does it happen?

            Why do some lose their minds at such a young age while others live to be old and just as sharp as ever?  Why are some more physically fit than others who have worked so much harder to stay in shape?  Why do some people always seem to have money while others struggle from paycheck to paycheck and never seem to get ahead?

            We might not be able to choose our trials, but we can choose our reaction - though at times displaying a positive attitude seems to be more of a challenge than our situation.  I feel bad for not being in Utah to be with my great aunt and uncle.  When my daughter-in-law passed, we went back for the funeral.  When my great uncle passed, we did not. 

            My great aunt has always been in good health and aware of his surroundings.  Her hearing had declined over the years - but she was sharp.  Both her and my uncle until his dying day.  She took a fall one Easter back in 2013.  She was in a rehab center for a while in 2013 and seemed to be getting better.  She passed the center and returned to her house. She gradually declined after that.  My cousins and family have been taking care of her.  In a way, I wish I was there to help them.  In a way, I am grateful that I have an excuse to not have to go through it again.

            Attitude is everything.  I pray that I may always have a grateful attitude.  Especially when I don't understand why the destination of the path doesn't look the same as where I thought I (or we) was/were headed.

From What I Recall . . .

            I think my favorite talk for this past conference was this one given by Elder Ronald A. Rasband.   

He talked about a subject that I have touched on my blog before.  I was reminded of a post I created just over a year and a half ago.  I had briefly discussed Wendy Ulrich's book "Habits of Happiness".  The particular subject was "Don't try to get  Help from your Problems" - in other words, ask God to help you make your weaknesses become strengths - rely upon Him as the path you thought you may have chosen isn't necessarily the right one for you.

  

            It is interesting that so many of us can listen to or read the same exact talk and walk away from it with a different interpretation than another might - just as with the parables the Savior would deliver to those who would listen and those who were in tune (or are in tune) with the spirit will take from it what is needed in our life at that moment.

            I know there have been many unwilling to accept that the course of the path they travel is perhaps the best plan for them - or perhaps they are supposed to meet or influence others that they might not if circumstances were different.  Sometimes we feel that a situation might be better if we hadn't been at "the wrong place at the wrong time" but how do we know it was wrong.  Maybe it was a part of Heavenly Father's plan all along.  Maybe we had to overcome challenges to learn humility or some other lesson.  Maybe we need to set an example for somebody else.  

            In this post I compared Merida (from "Brave") and her desires to what was expected, what was desired, and how the course hadn't even been close to what had been expected - but had helped her to grow nonetheless. 

  

            Although Elder John D. Pingree's talk (here) seemed more aimed toward missionary work, it also reminded me of the examples that I used just trying to make it through our everyday lives and how to incorporate these four steps into helping others through service and talents and allowing ourselves to grow from our trials and use that to help others also.