Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Pray Before Each Task

Roland gave our middle son, Tony, the nickname “Donald Duck”.  Too often Tony flies off the handle about situations he can’t control or doesn’t understand.  I told him that he needs to pray more often.  That didn’t seem to go over too well.

Prayer has been a part of my life forever.  I always had example of prayer.  My sibs and I were taught to pray.  We said individual prayers.  We said family prayers.  We prayed over the food.  We’d start family home evenings with prayer and end with prayer.  We said morning prayers.  We said prayers before we went to bed.  Before and while on vacation.  It was just something conditioned in me.  I don’t know that I ever questioned it.  Perhaps I didn’t always understand it, but I do now and have for such a long time that it’s hard to remember if/when I questioned prayer.

Oh, perhaps there were times I prayed for something specific and felt my prayers weren’t answered – at least not the way I had wanted.  So perhaps there was a time when I had the response: “I have prayed and it hasn’t done any good.”  I no longer think that.  I pray.  Sometimes it seems as though I’m doing it in vain – but that is when I need to question my part with prayer, and not the Lord’s as He is Always there and Always listening. 

Often times Roland has expressed frustration with whatever project he may be doing on the computer.  My response has always been to ask if he had prayed before starting his task.

I know that not all things run smooth or according to plan all the time.  There is the faith testing and God’s own will that often doesn’t correspond with what we think may be our own.

A specific example involves two different families from the ward where I had grown up.  Two grandmas, each with a grandchild who had a heart condition. 

From my recollection, both children were scheduled to have surgery within weeks of one another.  One baby lived and the other died.  Right now I honestly can’t remember which one.  Both families prayed diligently.  Various family members held a fast.  All of their prayers were answered – though not all experienced the same results – the results which they all wanted for the grandchild to live. 

So what makes one family different from the other?  Why would God answer the same heartfelt prayers so differently?  Why were the results not the same?  I don’t have the answer.  I just know, for me personally, that prayer adds a comfort that I had at least expressed myself.  And the more that I pray, the closer I come so that I do understand.

I realized that was one vast difference between the family Roland grew up in verses my own.  They don’t pray about anything.  They don’t even say grace over the food. It’s just so foreign to me that they don’t consider prayer – for anything.  How different their lives would be if they would kneel as a family and thank Him and ask Him for blessings.

Why would I not pray to thank my maker for all that I have?  Why would I not pray to ask for assistance from a higher being?  Why would I not pray for a miracle that can’t be mastered by humankind? Miracles can and do happen.  But we need to ask.

I thank my mom and dad for their fine example to include God in our lives and to pray before each task or major decision. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

The Complicated History of my Cell Phone Usage

I don’t recall how long it’s been since I first looked into purchasing my first cell phone.  I believe that Corey was on his mission and that I was experiencing problems with my car. 

I remember walking to a nearby strip mall after my car broke down.  Outside one of the stores stood two men with a table displaying information about cell phone plans with Voice Stream (which I had mentioned in this post).

I had asked one of the men if I could use his cell phone to call my mom – and that’s where she found me – being sucked into the world of cell phones.  I don’t know if I had already signed my contract before my mom showed or if I was about to.  But mom ended up showing interest in the convenience as well, and we ended up getting two phones on the same plan.

I don’t recall how long we had our plan before the bills stopped coming from Voice Stream.  Funny how I hadn’t noticed – though I did notice a tremendous amount of garbage from a place called T-Mobil – which I had never even heard of.  I already had a cell phone plan and didn’t need another. 

One month I did open what I thought was an advertisement.  It turned out to be a bill with this outrageous amount attached to it.  Why would they send me a bill?  I had never signed a contract with T-Mobil.!  Who the heck did they think they were?!  Turns out that either they had merged with Voice Stream or had bought Voice Stream out or whatever.  Oh . . .

So I was with T-Mobile for nearly twenty years.  I ddin’t have any qualms with them until the last two or three years.  I’ve come to hate T-Mobil – which is too bad.  There really was a time in my life that I was happy with them.

We joined Consumer Cellular (here) to cut the cost of what we were paying to T-Mobile.  Bill had made the same switch and seemed satisfied, and so we switched over as well.  But we did keep our T-Mobile phones.  Initially, anyway.
            Bill’s phone wouldn’t transfer.  He held onto (and was without service) for a month waiting for T-Mobile to unlock his phone and ended up purchasing a new one as T-Mobile had screwed up.  My phone seemed to set up just fine, but I know Roland had troubles with his. He still cannot receive the Internet.  Just as well.  An extra expense that we just don’t need.

            I loved my LG.  I think I had purchased it used.  It worked fine for almost a year after we had made the switch.  But then my calls started cutting out – like the battery was dead.  It wasn’t.  Texting and other features of the phone worked.  But when I had tried to call Consumer Cellular one day – like ten times in a row – and I kept getting cut off – I broke down and looked into purchasing a new phone.

            Consumer Cellular offered two that weren’t touch screen.  I was most interested in the Doro.  But when I was offered a “gently used” envoy for just fifteen.  I thought I’d take advantage.  I had my envoy for only three days as I had the volume up as loud as it was go and could only hear my phone ring if there was no other noise beside – yeah, like that was going to happen.  I take public transportation.  I am going to encounter noise much louder than any phone.  And because I don’t have ears like Horton, I traded it in once again.

            This time I encountered a problem like no other.  One that presented a problem of strangeness as poor Jake went from advisor to advisor on what suggestions they might have that he could try.

            About two hours before I started talking to Jake, I had been on the phone with Cindy.  I was using the Doro, but I had figured out the problem was with the Doro or the way that Consumer Cellular had somehow tied in my brother-in-law’s number with my sister’s.  After all, they are on the same plan, and they do have similar phone numbers.  But every time I had wanted to talk with Kayla, I would get Bill.

            At first I believed that Bill was just being silly in answering Kayla’s phone, and even having his voice mail on her phone – he just seems to have that kind of personality.  But when I had dialed Kayla’s number over and over again, Bill was at work believing that perhaps I had some kind of an emergency.

            It didn’t matter whose number I dialed – if I dialed it directly, speed dial or returned call.  It kicked into Bill’s cell.  For CRYING OUT LOUD!  I needed to get a hold of Kayla.  I was so frustrated – I’m sure, as Bill had been as his phone had gone off multiple times.  It was only those two phone numbers.  I was the only caller.  There hadn’t been a forwarding on her end.  But I finally realized that I had never been able to call her on the Doro itself. 

            So I tried Cindy’s tricks before I got off the bus.  Nothing.  I had to call back and go through the rigmarole of calling the number and pressing 2 and then 3 and sometimes not make it that far because they’d been closed for the holiday and so were experiencing a higher income of calls than on their normal Tuesdays. 

            So when I got to Kayla’s house, I called Consumer back from her phone.  So I had her phone and my phone, but no other phone.  Poor Jake would call her phone and have me hang up my phone or vice-versa and we would try a variety of security related fields to unlock or free. 

            It took over an hour.  Final was doing something on her phone while receiving instructions from my phone and then calling back on her phone so that I could hang up my phone and call her phone.  And it worked!  I was surprised.  Jake was surprised – so happy to be done with me – FINALLY.  And then I started an email to Bill.

            Before I hit send, I thought I would try calling Kayla one more time.  Oh, no.  Back to Bill’s phone.  I had not only wasted more than an hour of Jake’s time (not to mention however long with Cindy) but wore down my battery as well.  Really.  I had just charged it up Monday night.  Unbelievable.

            I recharged my phone before I left.  As I was waiting for the bus, and had the time anyway, I went over some of Jake’s tricks again.  We had gone in to do a master reset – but not a master clear.  I decided to try the master clear – which wiped out everything I had added to the phone.  Fortunately I had not transferred that many names.

            So I put Kayla back in the system.  Hers was the first number I entered.  I called it and got her voicemail.  Hallelujah!!!!  I have now added to numbers to my phone.  Before Disneyland I was carrying two phones around – my Doro and my LG.  LG still has a lot of numbers.  Many I may never transfer.  This time I will only add as I go (which is what I mostly did the first time around) but I will not be adding Bill this time.  I may not ever call his number from my phone again.  I haven’t decided.  It’s more important for me to get a hold of Kayla.

            Leave it to me to have this unique problem that has Consumer Cellular stumped.  May none of us have to go through this again.  What a pain!  But if ever this should happen to you – just start over.  You may just end up having to do that anyway.

            I hope I didn't wear Kayla's battery down as I did with my own.  Thank you for letting me use your phone.  It will be nice to talk with you again.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Learning Geography part 1: What Frustration

World geography has got to be one of the most frustrating subjects as it is constantly changing.  Should Jenna ever learn about the names of countries and border locations and such, I think for the most part will be quite different from what I learned. Creating maps is an endless task – but I suppose if that’s the field of work you’ve gone into, well, then you will never be out of work.

 In my sixth grade history class we were given blank maps as part of our world geography – or so I’m assuming that’s what was being taught.  I specifically remember working on a European map, but for whatever reason, our time in the classroom was cut short and so we were allowed to take the maps home and fill them out there according to our own resources as we were not allowed to take the text books home.

We didn’t have the resources of today where one can go to Google and pull up a large variety of maps and find information on each country with just a click of a button.  We had encyclopedias and a series of “Let’s Travel to” books and a couple of atlases.  I started with an atlas and the frustration set in.  The map in the atlas did not have as many boundary lines as the map I had brought home.  What the flip? 

 I don’t know what led me to check the publication date.  1935.  Oh, no wonder.  The European boundaries had surely changed boundaries a few times in the 40 year period that took place between the atlas publication and my homework assignment.  I went in search of another atlas.

A few years ago I purchased a second hand game called, “Where in the World
that came with six maps.  I figured that if Jenna ever learned geography, perhaps the maps and maybe even some other included information would be useful.  I would definitely have to pick it through to see what actually may still apply today.

Almost 200 cards are included with the maps.  Each of these cards are numbered and have a picture of the country’s flag (or the flag which represented said country at the time the game was created) the capitol, population (dated) monetary unit, literacy rate, major languages, regions, export, import and seacoasts.  Though several cards may contain information that still applies today, many of them don’t.

Three of the maps have had major makeovers from the time that I learned them to when the game was manufactured to today.  And a lot of the card information could be correct, though I have not checked any beyond the flag.  Countries may have the same capitols that they did when the game was created.  But I know not all of them do. There are countries that didn’t exist back when the game was created and there are others that existed then that are only historic names today. Names and boundaries have changed all over the map.

Let’s go to the African continent on game map.  Western Sahara  is number 29 on the map.  The country was disputed territory for many decades – the majority is now ruled by Morocco from what I understand. And that’s just one example.  There are dot sized countries in Europe that I don’t remember ever having learned about.  It appears that there are two dot-sized countries within the country of South Africa – or were.  I’m certain that this map is not even close to current.

But this one is the same as when I learned it

and is the same today.  I like that.  And will go into more detail in my post tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

My Most Unfavorite Time of the Day

         I generally drop Jenna off at school a half hour before she needs to be there.  I also arrive on the lot before all other cars so as to not fight school traffic.  Jenna has always taken her time walking to school or across the field.  When I am the driver who is picking her up, I welcome her dawdling.  In first grade we were always the last car to leave the parking lot. I HATE school traffic.
         Kayla was looking for a sitter for her two and as Jenna’s school is the same distance from their house as it is from my own,  I figured I could watch them at Kayla’s house and then pick up Jenna.  I should have left her house the minute that Kayla came home. 

        It’s been four years since I had lived in that same neighborhood and wasn’t taking into account that the school in that area lets out a half hour earlier than Vantana.  Before I went out to my car (which was parked on the street) I saw the yellow bus pulled up by Kayla’s house.  I wasn’t aware that there was a bus stop on that street.

         The stop sign was out and lights were flashing.  It was behind me and I didn’t know if I had to wait for it or not.  I waited for just a bit until I realized that I wouldn’t be getting the attention of the bus driver really soon (as she was visiting with a parent) and as I was not passing the bus, I pulled forward through a maze of cars and dumpsters (that must have been really great fun for the bus driver)

         I have never liked the main street which is closest to street where Bill and Kayla live – nor the cross street at the second intersection.  Lights were blinking red indicating that traffic wouldn’t be moving at a rapid rate.  Ahead of that were the spaces of red X’s and green arrows and three lanes of broken yellow lines that always make me feel like I’m driving inside of a video game.  Perhaps it’s popular in bigger cities, but that is the only street I know of with that set up.

         What’s ironic is the street seemed desolate for decades.  I remember when my mom had driven out to her uncle’s house sometimes when her mom was in town.  The drive seemed sooo sooo long.  Now it’s congested and makes me tense. 

         Bus STOP sign, dumpsters, children, traffic lights and merging . . . What’s normally a ten minute drive took me eighteen minutes.  Fortunately I had given myself twenty.  But alas, I wasn’t the first one to arrive in the parking lot.  I was too late just to park in the shade.  But I didn’t have a long wait like I did when Jenna was in first grade.  Actually she’s been getting out to the car rather quickly.   Must be the seven habits.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I.R.S. = It Really Sucks

          After our youngest son, Randy, returned home from his mission, he decided to open an account at the credit union.  To complete the process, a driver’s license or picture ID with a valid address was required.  No problem.  His DL had expired and going to the DLD was also on the agenda.

          But he still needed proof of address.  We had moved and his old DL revealed the old address.  He was asked for something to prove his new address – like a bank statement.  Are you kidding me?  It was like a no win situation.

          Recently, (even though we had actually filed our taxes a month early this year) we were asked to include Randy’s FASFA on our taxes.  Randy had not completed his FASFA as he was waiting for the results on our taxes.

          I never fully understood that old cliché that says we can’t have our cake and eat it, too.  Seems like in those last two scenarios we can neither have nor eat.  We can only view whatever cake others may have or are eating. 

          It’s like being told by a podiatrist to stay off your feet (by walking) in order to let them heal – but that you should exercise your feet in order to give them strength.  Huh?  It’s either one or the other.  How can a person seriously do both?

          This is the first year in mine and Roland's married life that we actually have a tax refund.  But we also owe back taxes. We owe this. We owe that.  We will never even see our refund.  It would be nice if we could pick who gets it.  But at least the debt will be lessened in one way or the other.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde or Sybil

For those readers who may not recognize any of the names in the title, let me introduce you to a very brief history. 

The character of Dr. Jekyll was created before 1931.  He was a lab scientist who used himself as a guinea pig to test a potion which he had created.  I don’t recall what it is the potion was supposed to do, but as a result of his taking the potion, Dr. Jekyll would take on another – much darker – personality that was not the same as the one most people were familiar with.

His alter ego became known as Mr. Hyde.  So even though Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde were theoretically the same person – sharing the same physical identity (or body I guess) the personalities were very different.  Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is science fiction.

Shirley Ardel Mason (1923 – 1998) was an actual person.  She’d been both physically and mentally abused by her mother.  Shirley had gone to psychiatrist Dr. Cornelia Wilbur in the 1950’s as there were some large pieces of her life that she seemed to miss out on due to black outs. 

It took eleven years for Dr. Wilbur to meet all of the personalities that would take over during Shirley’s blackouts.  It is said that there were sixteen of them.  They all had different names and different characteristics.  Many of the personalities knew of the others, but Shirley was not aware of any until Dr. Wilbur pointed it out to her.

In 1973 Flora Rheta Schreiber wrote a book based upon Shirley’s pshycological studies.  The book introduced the character Sybil Dorsett whose background and therapeutic studies was the same as Shirley’s.  The name had been changed to protect Shirley’s identity.  And in 1976 Sally Field portrayed her in the movie “Sybil”.

There are some who don’t believe in Multiple Personality Disorder (now known as Disassociative Identity Disorder) while others do.  I choose to believe.  I think there are different degrees in which personalities are displayed.  And there are variations of what may trigger these unusual out-of-character traits.

We all have moods and often seem to take on personalities unlike our normal selves due to drugs, alcohol, medicated side effects or lack of medication, aging, changes in our eating habits, health, witnessing or victims of some horrific action.  The list goes on and on.  In many cases the self personality may be controlled or sometimes it may seem quite doubtful that a person may ever return to normal again. 

I remember my mom as a woman who never wanted to take medication – even something as simple as asprin.  She was not one who would ever become drug dependant.  Or so was her wish.  She now has at least seven different prescribed medications that she takes for her diabetis, cholesterol, dementia and some other things.  And when she skips her medication or doesn’t watch what she eats, another personality seems to takes over.

I suppose my mood swings are very different during that time of the month, when my hormones are out of wack, when I go from being Dr. Jekyll to becoming Mrs. Hyde.  A lot of women go through that.  It isn’t refered to as a personality disorder though – and yet there seems to be at least two distinct personalities throughout the month.

I had a sinus infection during the month of December.  I also took meds with a nasty side effect that left me wanting to deal with the sinus infection instead.  I was loopy for much of the month.  I might as well have been in a coma.  Actually, that would have been preferable.

I have seen at least two distinctive personalities with my mom. There appears to be happy drunkard take over when she is not coherent.  And yet she sincerely believes in every detail she relates – like the time she drove downtown to see the forrest – there is no forest downtown – nor is there a dungeon.  But she truly believes in it – or did.  She may have forgotten it now.  I haven’t.

When I visit my mom I am usually with a woman who is a bit disoriented, who often is on a mission to spend her money, and doesn’t believe she has any problems whatsoever.  If she does have a problem, it is because someone else is “against her”. Sometimes she will acknowledge that she takes meds and is aging. But more often than not, I see a much different personality than does my sister-in-law.

When she is with my sister-in-law, my mom seems more put together.  They talk about mom’s desires for becoming independent.  My mom will share memories with my sister-in-law.  There are no memories when I am with her.  She doesn’t remember – or else she’ll be misinformed. Therefore we have painted two entirely different pictures of my mom’s condition. 

But then I suppose the same could be said about me – depending on who you are and how often we visit.  I have mood swings.  I have triggers.  I don’t have blackouts that have made me wonder when a transition may have occurred.  Mood swings are different from multiple personalities.  It’s just often it seems that these moods bring on a personality that is entirely their own.

Today I had the opportunity of taking my 1 ½ year old neice to visit my mom.  My mom loves my niece.  She got on the floor and played with her.  They teased each other.  I saw my mom from a much different perspective than I have seen her for some time actually.  Probably not since my brother’s kids were little.