Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts

Monday, April 21, 2014

There ARE MANY Perks to Eloping

A few of my posts have included dreams that I’ve had. Each of those posts concludes with how I don’t put much faith in dreams.  But there is one dream that I definitely interpreted to be quite meaningful.  I made a life changing decision as a result.

                  I met Roland for the first time on December 31, 2000.  He asked me out that night.  We would go downtown to celebrate the coming of the New Year.  I missed playing games with my family – a ritual I have enjoyed about New Years.

                  Roland was quite forward.  I had dismissed guys for being too forward – and none had ever been as forward as Roland had.  I didn’t understand why I felt so comfortable around him. By the end of our date we had set up a second. I don’t know if I knew then that we would be seeing the movie Castaway with Tom Hanks.

                  So during our second date, I cried and cried – not for Tom Hanks’ character, but because I thought of my dad.  Though he was never stranded on an island with a ball-turned-companion, I just remembered the frustration that dad must have felt in trying to communicate with anybody outside of his hospital bed. 

                  Roland was so gentle with me and seemed to understand.  He passed no judgment.  I was grateful for that. 

                  That night I had a dream that it was summer and my mom was trying to get all my sibs together for a family portrait.  In the dream Roland and I had been dating for six months.  He had not yet proposed, but I knew that he would be proposing.  I was wondering how to ask mom to allow Roland and the boys to be in our family picture, as I knew that we would be together by the end of the year.

                  In real life I shot out of bed.  I had met Roland only two days before.  We had only had our second date – a movie, at that. Why would I be dreaming that we would become an item?  I didn’t even know him!  I was less than thrilled about having this dream. 

                  The next day I went to work but returned home in less than four hours as I really didn’t feel well.  I told my brother that I’d be going back to bed and under any circumstances I was NOT to be disturbed.  But less than an hour later he knocked at my door to tell me that Roland was waiting for me.
                  For reals?  Or was I having another odd dream?  Roland was there to propose!  We had met just three days ago and he wanted to marry me!  Get real!  So of course my first thought was: “No, no, no, no, no . . . .”           actually the reaction was pretty much as it had been when I awoke from the dream.

               Was there a connection?  Had my dream been a personal revelation?  Was this a test?  “No – no – I can’t accept a proposal of marriage.  I don’t even know this guy.  This goes against EVERYTHING I had planned for myself.  I wasn’t even going to date a guy I had known less than a year.  And now I was getting this message to marry this complete stranger?”

                  Of course I prayed about my decision – realizing that just because I accepted his proposal did not mean I couldn’t break it off at some point.  Three days?? That’s outrageous!!

                  Since I was knee high my dad had tried to brainwash me into believing that I wanted to elope when I had the opportunity.  To be honest, I really had no idea what he meant. It wasn’t until I got much older than I realized the elopement thing was not a bad idea.  Only by the time Roland came along, dad was gone and mom didn’t want me to elope.  I think my mom saw Roland as the Big Bad Wolf and was afraid for me.

                  Roland and I had changed our wedding date several times.  As I had mentioned in this post, we had wanted to do the right thing and start our life together with a temple marriage.

                    We had the marriage certificate to present to our bishop for the following week, but he realized that he’d be out of town. And I was tired of it.  Tired of changing the date.  Tired of trying to appease everyone.  In fact, I had said to mom and brother, Corey, “why don’t you arrange a date that fits into both of your schedules and get back to us; You two make the arrangements and tell us when to show up.”
                   After several tears and a talk with mom, I went into the bishop and asked if he could marry us that night or the next. Our civil marriage took place September 9, 2001. Everybody (including the groom) who came to the wedding received an eight hour notice or less.  So it wasn’t an elopement exactly, but it wasn’t planned in the way that you would think a wedding should be.

                  On September 11, terrorists attacked our nation.  If Roland and I hadn’t already been married, I would have had him drive me to Vegas upon my return home from work.  For I fully believed that the world had come to an end.  I suppose in many aspects it symbolically did.

                A month later we did an open house – mostly for the benefit of those who attended mom’s ward and made desires known that they wished I would have had a reception or something.  I purchased balloons, baskets and teddy bears for the decor and we’d gone to Sam’s Club for the hors-d'œuvre.  I think we spent 100 bucks tops.

So it wasn’t elaborate.  It worked.  I don’t ever look back on that day and say, “Oh, I wish I would have spent more money on more frivolous things.”
Okay, I’ll admit, I’ve never been overly enthusiastic about weddings.  If I have to be involved in a wedding, I have always enjoyed the simpler ones so much better than all that elaborate hoopla.  When I finally understood my dad’s wisdom, I had hoped that each of my boys would find girls who would want to elope. 

Actually, my first daughter-in-law and I have much in common as far as hoopla goes.  Her attitude pretty much matched my own.  Her family made the arrangements and she and Tony showed up.  Well, not entirely.  But I am under the impression that is how she felt.  It was important to her mom, and that is why she allowed it.  Rochelle’s mom passed away only two months after she and Tony were married.

I don’t know how much Carrie and I have in common.  She likes to visit, but Randy somehow always manages to steal her thunder.  His behavior resembles that of Captain Kirk or William Shatner where “I am important and therefore all attention should be on me”   

It was actually that behavior that Carrie found to be a turn off.  She could see right away that Randy is full of himself (which really most people don’t get because they are always awed by his charisma) I don’t recall why she agreed to go out with him, or why she allowed a second date (her description of their first date is less than flattering) but evidently had enough premonition to make a life with him.

Their wedding was expensive.  We did not contribute financially as we were on welfare when  both Randy and Tony were married to their wives. Perhaps that is part of why I have such a hang-up with the tremendous amount of money spent on weddings.  I have enough trouble  just staying afloat or trying to put food on the table.  Spending two paychecks for one-day event is OUTRAGEOUS.

Jeanie seemed all in favor of elopement initially.  But I think Biff wanted the hoopla – and what they had in mind initially seemed tasteful.  They would get married in the temple and have a luncheon with the family.  They wouldn’t send out announcements to friends until several weeks later to invite them to some kind of reception to pay a congratulations to the couple. At least that was my understanding.

But then it changed.  And changed again.  They couldn’t marry in the temple as they had planned and so they decided just to marry civilly.  They would include family members and have a luncheon afterward.  Later when they were granted temple marriage, they would have a reception to include all family and friends.

We received the announcement of their civil marriage and have been planning for that for over a month.  Two weeks ago Roland received a text from Biff to please escort him in the temple.  They are having their temple marriage on Friday and have changed their civil marriage to something else to accommodate those that are coming on Saturday. 

Two weeks is quite a healthy notice.  It’s not like Biff rushed into a proposal only three days after having met Jeanie.  And they have given us a lot more than just eight hours notice.  I can’t help but wonder what kind of example we set for them though. 

Still no scheduled reception – at least   that I know of.  I wonder if they are still planning on having more.  I think elopement would have been so much easier.  Definitely less expensive.  I can still plant the seeds for Jenna.  Let her know the pros and the cons.  I mean, it would be nice if we could afford something elaborate for her.  But gads, all that money for just one day?  Why not put the money towards a house or tuition or something that you will have with you with more than just a memory?

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Interpretation of Dreams . . . but not always

This post is different from  average - at least in this blog.  Perhaps you have an opinion?  And then we could have a discussion

I dreamt that I was at some kind of convention – a BYU education week perhaps.  I believe I was in Provo with a mass amount of people.  For some odd reason I had been toting around some bedding (at least two pillows and one afghan) something I would NEVER do in real life.  For some reason there was a group of us ended up waiting for one of the instructors at his home.  And while we were waiting several dressed like hell’s angels decided to do some kind of aerobic activity on the instructor’s lawn.

As the skies grew dark I found myself on the front porch wrapped in my afghan and sitting on my pillows until I decided (as odd as their particular moves seemed to be) I would join them.  I was a lot thinner in my dream and therefore it seemed more reasonable than if I were to try it now in real life.  I would probably end up lying on the grass unable to move.


Somewhere along the way we had instantaneously moved from the lawn to a room in the house receiving instruction.  I don’t know what the topic was. I can’t imagine that it would have held my interest judging by the group of people that were present – I just don’t think I would have been interested in the same subjects – though it all seemed to make sense in my dream.

I recall walking to the next class with a female association of the instructor’s.  It was no longer dark, but the sun shone brightly as we walked onto the campus for our next class. The class was on physics or psychological disorders or something that starts with “p” although the “p” itself is not pronounced.  Whatever the topic, I am certain that I would have found another class to attend in real life.  


As different students were filing in, I was separated with the woman whom I had walked in with.  She was near one door and I found myself standing by the other on the opposite side of the room. Just before the class started I realized that I had left the bedding behind.  I was a bit panicked at loosing my treasures (the afghan is one my mom had made for me in real life) and wondered how I would recover them. How would I ever get to the Wilkinson Center (a building at BYU) from where I was and be able to find my contents undisturbed? (duh, I was standing by a door – I didn’t have to stay for the lecture, did I?) I then remembered that I hadn’t been at the Wilkinson Center at all.  My belongings remained at an instructor’s house.  I hadn’t paid attention to how I had arrived there and did not know how to go back.  Surely his female associate would know his address.  But I never saw her again.

For the remainder of the dream I searched for someone who could tell me how to get back so that I may reclaim my bedding.  When I awoke both pillows were on my bed along with the afghan that my mom had made many years ago.  Had I shared this dream with Roland he would have asked, “What do you think it means?”

I think it means I was extraordinarily tired.  End of story.


Do your dreams seem to send messages for you?  What's your opinion about this one?

Saturday, March 31, 2012

We Didn’t Win the Lottery

The owner of a convenient store in Preston, Idaho was interviewed about his selling the Mega Million tickets for last night’s lottery.  Still a chance to purchase.
They don’t have the lottery in Utah, and so one has to go across the border to make purchases.  Over half a billion dollars.  It is mind boggling really.  I think 20,000 would be mind boggling.  Our account has never seen more than 4,000 at a time (and it went quickly.  Always does)

So Roland comes home yesterday and recaps the news story and asks what I would do with that much money.

“Well, first I would pay off all our bills.  I would buy new cars (or drivable cars rather) for ourselves and for Bill and Kayla (as they are also experiencing the sluggish dying car thing) and move.  Definitely move.  We could purchase a duplex near Jenna’s school.  Bill and Kayla could live on one side and we could live on the other.”

“You’ve got half a billion dollars.  Half a billion.”

Roland always has been a dreamer.  I can’t fathom that much.  Wouldn’t want to. 

“Why don’t we just give a huge chunk of it to the church – let them figure it out.”

“They won’t take it”

“Oh, yeah.  Hmmm . . .”

The reason he had asked me was because there was a guy from his office who had decided to drive up to Preston yesterday.  He had asked his co-workers who would like a ticket.  Roland contributed a whole dollar.  He showed me the ticket.  Impressive.

There are actually a lot of sick babies in my sister’s ward (a geographical boundary for the LDS church) that are in hospitals, and you know that comes with an expensive price tag – even with insurance – though I don’t imagine anyone living in that area really has that great of insurance.
Bill has a nephew who’s been in and out of hospitals since birth – not to mention all the medical expenses of Bill’s late wife.

Now the possibilities become endless for us.  We’ll hire an attorney and pay bills anonymously.  We can move out of state and Roland could become a shark and make decisions about investing in unique products. We can make even more money which we could give to the Church and we can still assist and support charities.

We could . . .

But alas, we did not win.  We didn’t have enough to collect a consolation.  Well, cool.  I didn’t want all that responsibility anyway.