Servants, Masters and Manipulation

            I had graduated from high school in 1980 and had signed up for college the following year.  I did not have the internet or Google to help me with assignments.  I used whatever reference books I could find at the library.  It wasn’t until after Corey returned home from his mission that we purchased our first computer and added AOL dial-up.  It wasn’t much longer before the Google search engine was introduced.   

            I marveled at how quickly Corey could find references without ever having to leave the room.  Before that he had been a whiz at searching the card catalogues and familiarizing himself with the library as though it were his profession.  Google seemed to make life so much easier in some ways.

            I had not familiarized myself with the search engines or internet as quickly as he had.  I’m still not nearly as advanced or well rounded as he, but I have learned a lot more about how to navigate than I had just ten years ago.

            I went back to college and got my degree in accounting.  My courses were online and I was required to provide references for not only my assignments, but discussions as well. I spent more time on the internet than ever before.  I would normally turn to Google or YouTube to assist with my research.  I did not feel manipulated so much as annoyed with advertisements and pop-ups and YouTube’s suggestions of 60-minute videos on how to start my own business.  Okay, maybe they weren’t 60 minutes.  It just felt like they were as the demonstrators would prattle on and on before I had the option of clicking “skip.”

            Advertising, marketing - I didn’t even realize that whatever I might be Googling would also be advertised in my facebook newsfeed.  That was because I rarely ever looked at my newsfeed.  I would look at notifications and sometimes I would look at individual walls.  I did not make the connections until this pandemic.  I have discovered quite a lot during this pandemic—not all of it pleasant either.

            The Facebook novelty wore off about two months after I opened my account.  There was more than one time I thought about deactivating my account and had even attempted to do so at one time, but could not figure it out.  I remained on Facebook mostly to keep in touch with family members living in a different state than I.  Both Corey and my youngest son deactivated their accounts.  My sister is rarely on and my middle son is never on. 

In the beginning of the pandemic there seemed to be more posts created than what gets posted now.  That is a good thing that others have gotten on with their lives by abandoning Facebook or rely on values that cause them to realize that being on Facebook is not good for them.  There are pros and cons to the technology that we use.  One pro that I really love about Facebook is creating groups which allow sharing information with several people at once (such as church activities or family events—depending on the group).

Netflix’s Social Dilemma provides a huge amount of cons (see trailer here).  Those with ethics relate information about how things are.  They went into more detail than what I had already observed.  Good and bad, but most of it seemed to focus on the market manipulation and provided ways that we as users might protect ourselves. MIGHT.

Artificial Intelligence doesn’t know the truth.  Posts get shared and reshared and sources aren’t being checked.  Trump is itching for another civil war (which has already taken place on social media) pitting the red states against the blue.  What the hell?  We are NOT in a marriage contract.  We DON’T have to vote for a certain party.  We are allowed to vote for (or against) the issues at hand.  We even have the option of voting for a third party as I had four years ago.  The mascots of each party are the elephant (Republican) and the donkey (Democrat) as that is how someone had referred to Andrew Jackson (according to this article) and Jackson ran with it.  I think it’s now more appropriate to use for the Republicans as Donald Trump is the biggest jackass the nation has ever had in office.  Still don’t know who is responsible for having elected him in the first place.  He’s a monster who is interested only in himself—and actually so are many of his followers.

I apologize for not finding the original source

original facebook share posted by Ron Olesko

Deflation, Deception & Painful Reality Check

                I have been feeling overwhelmed with emotion since last Friday afternoon when Roland came outside to "let me know what's going on."     

            I didn't think I would ever see the day when Roland would be angry with Randy or not believe him.  My youngest son has always been a storyteller.  It started out as a form of entertainment, but gradually became a method of deception, and if he gets caught in the lie, will try to mask it with "Oh, I was just joking." 

            It has gotten old.

                Most everyone in the family had stopped trusting anything that came out of Randy's mouth.  Oh, he's got charm, charisma, so many likable qualities really, but also the gift of gab that's as easy to believe as a politician. He's got the same integrity as the second example found in this post.  

                I'm trying hard not to air dirty laundry on my blog, and yet it's something I feel I need to write about.  I just haven't found the right words of what I'd like to convey - perhaps even to myself. 

                As I mentioned in the last post, I'm taking two classes now, one in accounting and one in ethics.  Again they are connected to each other and may be connected to what is currently going on in my own personal life right now.

                When we initially moved to Oregon, we were still paying off a loan on an A/C unit we had purchased for the WV house along with a gas stove and a fridge.  The fridge we brought with us, but the gas stove was left behind as it doesn't seem to be a popular method in the areas we were looking at to house in Oregon.  And of course, the A/C had to stay with the house as it had become a part of it.

                We had made arrangements for Tony and Rochelle to rent from us - though Roland had mentioned to them time and time again that they could purchase the house.  They didn't wish to live in the neighborhood and I can't say that I blame them.  The neighborhood had started to go downhill while we lived there. Randy informs us that the situation is a lot worse now.

                Randy said he'd be willing to buy the house at cost, which I really wasn't crazy about.  I thought it should be sold so that we could pay off our loans.  But with Randy and Carrie moving in - even at a loss to us - I knew we wouldn't have to come up with two mortgages (one for Oregon and the WV house in Utah) each month should the house not sell right away.  I also knew that Randy and Carrie would take better care of it than we had and be able to sell it for more, which they did.

                 Before they moved in, Roland had asked Randy to send us some money on whatever they made whenever they sold the house.  Roland would have liked half but would settle for the loan amount.  He reminded Randy of this several times.  Nothing was put into writing.

                I honestly didn't think we'd see a dime, let alone thousands of dollars to pay off our loan.  I had stopped trusting Randy years ago.  Pretty much the entire family had.  Randy's actions seldom ever followed his words. He loves the sound of his own voice. He'd make big plans saying he was going to do this, he was going to be that.  They were just hollow words after a while. Yet, Roland continued to believe in him.  

                Don't get me wrong.  Randy has a lot of fine qualities.  When we went to Utah for Jeanie's funeral, I was impressed at how well he had been taking care of his brother.  It did my heart good to see him with his arm around Biff trying to comfort him.  He really does have a kind soul.  I don't guess integrity needs to be present to display acts of kindness.  

                He betrayed Roland's trust last Friday while Jenna and I were at our water fitness class.  Randy tried to convince Roland that it was he and Carrie that had helped us out by moving in so that we didn't go into foreclosure.  I don't know if he was trying to con Roland or perhaps he's just been deceiving for so long that he is actually believing his own stories.  

                One of the qualities I have always admired about both Roland and Randy is their ability to let things go and bounce back. But Roland hasn't let this go and he isn't bouncing back. I have never seen him look so deflated.  He has seemed to advance through stages and had wanted to get even. He has also been ignoring the phone every time Randy calls.  I can't believe I am the practical one who's doing the consoling and he is behaving like I had in the past.

                The money is not even the issue.  Well, not entirely. The true pain has been caused by the deception.  I don't know if he will ever trust Randy again. He hasn't earned my trust or respect.  I wish I could have the same relationship with my own children as my mom did with hers or my Aunt Fern has with hers or Sunny has with hers, but I don't.  I think I felt deflated at one time as well, but I'm over it.  It doesn't change my relationship.  I just don't dwell on it.

                But Roland is broken.  He wonders if something should happen to Jenna and me, who will take care of him.  He put too much stock in Randy and has now come to terms that none will be able to care for him when his independence gives out. 

                Before starting a discussion post for my ethics class, I had wondered what the difference is between ethics and integrity as they both sound similar in my mind. Integrity is the strength of one's character. It is a personal matter whereas ethics are based on moral values and encompasses more than one person. Ethics (or lack thereof) are determined within a company or nation or group of individuals and so the outcome is more widespread than the integrity of one individual.

                For my assignment, I had to have a scenario about a situation that relates to my field of major - which would be accounting.  Never having worked in accounting before, I made up a scenario, along with names of co-workers and job (I find it easier to refer to actual names than "my boss", "his boss", person A, person B, etc.)  I gave a description of my boss who is well-liked and seems honest.  I gave him the first name of my youngest son and used his middle name as the last name for my character.  I have turned in my assignment yesterday.