Primary programs seem necessary, but I loathe practicing for them. I always have. As a child, my primary day was on Thursday right after school. I was then a part of the Midvale East 4th ward. I can remember on days when it would snow, an announcement would go over the intercom: there will be no primary for such and such a ward. Never did they announce Midvale East 4th would be cancelled - not even once! And some days we were faced with more severe snow! I did not appreciate nor understand it at the time. I have since thanked my former primary president for her love and devotion.
However, practicing for the primary program, for me, was worse than crossing the street in the snow. Though I do enjoy singing, I did not enjoy practicing them or keeping still or staying reverent while others took their turns. I would actually play hooky from primary and hang around the school playground until I believed that primary was over, and then I would walk home. Becoming a primary teacher hasn't changed my attitude toward practicing for the primary program - in fact I believe my attitude towards it has worsened. Hooky doesn't come so easy as an adult who is trying to set an example.
I don't know what happened with the primary program last year - why it didn't seem planned for. I think we only had one or two practices. I remember our chorister felt stressed about it. We avoided that this year with five practices. Last week we practiced on the stage. Last week I was in a horrible mood. Sitting between two boys that can't keep their hands off each other. Emily was very reverent. She was moved to the middle between two other boys in order to set an example. I watched our youngest primary boy in the corner doing his own thing. I know I shot him looks of disapproval that the Savior himself would not have done.
I woke up about 3:00 this morning. I could feel a headache - though I don't know why - unless it was from the mistletoe I had encountered on Friday (because I had a headache that day too) and told Roland that if I still had it by the time church started, I would not be participating in the primary program today after all (Oh, darn it all)
This week I prayed to have a better attitude and better experience. Last year wasn't bad. There are some really good primary programs and many that we're grateful that they have some to an end, like this one for example. Today's program went rather well. Everyone who could see them were impressed (those sitting four or five rows left of the podium did not have a tremendous view - if at all; the floor plan adjacent to the stage is not the best I've ever seen - plus the fact that we don't have an overly large primary)
I smiled at Christopher instead of shooting disapproving looks. Joseph sat between us and felt amused by some of Christopher's four-year-old behavior. Sometimes I felt myself smiling with him. The program went 1,000 times smoother than any of the practices had.
Danny taught the lesson. I saw the subject had been on winter quarters and thought: "How in the world does one give that lesson in just 25 minutes?" We had been told to cut class short today because we'd be watching a movie as a reward for having performed the program. In addition to the children in our class who had taken part in the primary program, we had a few visitors besides. It was funny to see the look on the primary president's face when she walked past the room to get a head count of how many children there were.
"Oh, my word!" she let out. It's true. We had fourteen children in our class alone - which is probably how many children we had on stage. There had been at least eight in the other class. They were given ice cream to eat while they watched the movie. Our primary room isn't accustomed to 22 plus how many ever chairs. Some leaders were sitting, but it appeared that most were standing. Not me. I'm really not claustrophobic, but I didn't want to be smashed into the primary room
I decided I'd go to Relief Society. My headache was back. I still don't know why. I left the church house and arranged for Jenna to be dropped off by one of her leaders.
I am grateful that the primary did well on their parts and song. I'm grateful that I didn't have to have my headache on the stage and I was able to drive myself home. I still have my headache. I was hoping it would be gone by now. Perhaps it's psychological. I missed my niece's missionary farewell this morning. I heard that Tony and Rochelle represented the family. Of that, I am also grateful.