Another Ugly Cake . . . Happy Birthday

            Roland believes that every person should have a cake for his/her birthday.  It doesn't matter if they can have cake or want cake or don't like cake.  I believe that his motto is "No Birthday is Complete Without Cake"

            Usually when Roland's birthday is coming up and people ask, "What do you want for your birthday" he doesn't ask for a cake, but rather a homemade card.  But this year was different.  I asked what he'd like for dinner and he said he wanted me to make him a birthday cake from scratch.  Okay.  How very brave of you.

            I looked up a recipe under the topic "Birthday Cake" and followed the directions to this one.  (recipe at the end of her blog post before comments)

 I used blue and white sprinkles as that is what we had.  Fortunately for us, his favorite color is blue.  Jenna thought I ought to make an even simpler cake using ice cream sandwiches.  We already had orange frosting (orange in color, not flavor) in the fridge that I could spread over the sandwiches to look like a cake.  I don't think what her final creation was really what she had in mind.  We did not get a picture of it before she put it in the refrigerator - which probably was not the wisest move as the ice cream melted, but I suppose it is the thought that counts.

            Meanwhile, I had put my cake in the oven to bake while Roland and Jenna ran an errand.  I had them pick up some frosting while they were out.  My cake wasn't bad looking until I tried to take it out of the pan.  Apparently, I did not spray either pan well enough and the second layer crumbled over the bottom.  I used the entire can of frosting trying to at least make it look somewhat decent.  I think underneath the cake looked even worse than the ugly cake from this post.  Jenna took these pictures with her camera though we did not get any of the batter.

Jenna's melted "ice cream cake" creation

He did eat a lot of it - even though it was overly sweet.

Roland always lops off the top to make it flat.  I thought

would try putting the round on top.  Big mistake.

Beautiful, isn't it.  Like somebody had already broken into it.

  

We did light the candles and sing happy birthday

 Jenna did not get any still pictures of the cake with lit candles.  We sang happy birthday and she used her film feature.

Missing Valentine’s Day

               

          I really did get a gem of a guy when I married Roland.  He is so thoughtful and compassionate.  For every year we were living in Utah, Roland would make or purchase valentines for my mom and my sisters.  We would drive to my mom’s house in Midvale and then my brother’s in Sandy (my sister-in-law, Sunny) and then later to the house in Kearns after Kayla and Bill were married.

          Valentine’s was always something different.  A box of chocolates or homemade cookies. One year we attempted Brigham Young Doughnuts in the shape of hearts. 

I could not find the individual pictures for this
post so her is a scrapbook page I had made. 

          Another year he purchased pizzas from Papa Murphy’s.  I think Brian (Sunny’s youngest boy) claimed that as his own.  Perhaps he shared. 

         Before we moved to Oregon, Roland extended his valentine giving beyond my family, but included all the single sisters in the West Valley ward (and there were A LOT of single sisters) with a candy bar with a note not to go nuts on valentine’s day but enjoy the sweet parts about it (or something like that)

          Since we moved to Oregon, his Valentine giving hasn’t gone beyond me and Jaime.  That’s too bad because I know he really enjoyed that.  I wonder if my sisters miss getting Valentines from him.

Another Post with Free Thought and Weather

          I like the sound of rain

          Good Thing as it

          has rained for most of

          this month

         

          We have skylights in

          our front room and

          our bedroom and

          sometimes the rain wakes me

          after I have fallen

          asleep

          I know it's wet and cold

          outside

          but every time it rains while

          I am inside

          I will get really hot

          I don't know why

          I usually sleep without

          a blanket or sheet except

          for around my toes

          My feet are always cold

          and thus I wear socks all

          the time

          I always open windows in

          whatever room I'm in

          Roland closes the windows. He

          doesn't like being cold.

          Heat escapes his body.

          Cuddling up next to him is like

          snuggling with a furnace.

          He likes to cuddle

          while we sleep.

          I don't like to cuddle

          when I'm trying to sleep, especially    

          when I'm trying to stay cool

          and I have these octopus arms all

          over me.  It's like

          having ten blankets on top of me while

          in the desert with the blazing

          sun

          Our son Tony is

          always cold

          He has no meat on

          his bones.

          I've never snuggled with

          him, but I have

          hugged him before.

          I think I could touch

          each of my elbows as

          I'm hugging him.

          He is that skinny.

          I don't know why

          as he eats like a horse

          He eats more

          than the rest of our family

          put together.

          I think eating makes him

          thinner.  That's not fair!

          At least that's how it

          used to be.

          I don't know how

          it is now.

          I know that his wife

          Rochelle is always hot

          She might not use blankets

          either.

          Tony once accused Roland

          and I of being penguins

          I know he would be cold

          in our house right now

          At least Roland is soft and

          padded

          Cuddling up with Tony must

          be like cuddling with a

          skeleton -

          all bony and hard

          I don't know if Rochelle

          picks up extra heat from him or

          not

          When he was a boy and

          we went to the beach

          I took lots of pictures

          his brothers made fun of his

          bony format.  Said he

          could pose as a poster child     

          for one who is hungry.

          They said he looked deformed.

          He's not

          He is thin.

          He says he likes the rain.

          I don't know why.

          I like it.

Too Much Time on His Hands

       For the past three years or so, Roland has been working as a recruiter for students to take online courses.  His title wasn’t recruiter though.  I forget what it was.

           

            When he first started, those in his position were responsible for having at least two people start per mod (don’t know if the three letters are abbreviations for something or if it’s spelled differently – but it means every six weeks to eight weeks when the classes start for each major) and somewhere along the line it was raised to three and then four and then six.

            My brother-in-law, Bill, had worked there just a few years before the stress pushed him into looking for another job.  He put in his notice before the requirement was bumped to six.  The company wasn’t happy with his decision and wanted to make an example out of him.  The company also has a 300% turnover (what does that tell you?)

            So ever since the requirement was bumped to six, I would often hear: “I could lose this job by the end of the mod” Roland had only four possibilities before we’d gone on vacation.  He expected to be let go after we returned, but miraculously he was able to stay until the next mod.  He was short.  But they didn’t want to lose him and have him working for the competition (which Bill has done) and so offered him a less stressful position for less pay.  To me it’s worth less money to see him not stress all the time.  Only I think he may be bored.  He’s able to think.  He thinks that means he’s slowing down.

            Our bishop won’t be calling on him to meet with him once or twice a week or delegate this assignment or that.  More free time.  What will Roland do?

Roland’s Time to Shine

      It was just over four years ago when we made the decision to leave Kearns and move into the cracker box house where we currently live in West Valley.  We were at least five months behind with our mortgage; the economy did NOT appear that it would ever get better; we were in debt to more than just the mortgage company and we were bound to lose more than just our house.

We already had a property in West Valley with only half a fixed mortgage than the elevator (up and down) mortgage we were given monthly in Kearns.  Still struggling and on Welfare for over two years and still paying on an unfair back child support  - but that’s another story – not a pleasant one at that and so it will never get posted on this blog.

Initially we were just going to swap out houses with the tenants that had been living in our WV house.  We had planned on doing so right after Thanksgiving. But the economy had been unkind to them also and they had to downgrade into something even smaller than our cracker box house.  They moved out before Thanksgiving and we moved in on November 30.

We felt good about our decision – though it cost us the house in Kearns.  It had remained vacant for over a year and had been vandalized at least twice before it was purchased.

We had totally awesome weather every day we moved items to a storage unit quite near where we live or to a donation center between the two houses.  It snowed the day of our final move.  We were meant to be here – at least Roland was. 

In Kearns Roland was always Jenna’s dad or the boy’s dad or my husband.  He appeared to be on the back burner so much of the time.  But in West Valley he has his own identity.  Jenna and I are the one’s who seem lost in the shuffle as we take a back seat to his callings and he shines and though several know Jenna and me – EVERYBODY knows Roland.

In less than two years Roland had had four different callings.  We had gone to the stake center for each one of them.  The first calling was as a counselor in the elder’s quorum.  When the elder’s quorum president moved out of our ward and Roland and I had been summoned back to the stake president we figured he’d be called to be the EQ president.  Both of us were quite surprised that it wasn’t to do with the EQ at all. Roland had been called to be the first counselor to the High Priest Group Leader.

The next calling was as High Priest Group Leader and finally first counselor in the bishopric where he has been for over two years.  It’s been an interesting ride and he has enjoyed every moment.  It’s been hard on Jenna who was so friendly and outgoing in Kearns to almost friendless in an anti-social and immature neighborhood.  And I miss having sidewalks to walk on.

The county seems to be fazing Kearns out to non-existent almost.  I wouldn’t mind returning to the ward itself – but I wasn’t happy about living so far west as I don’t currently enjoy living this far north – not that I guess it matters anymore.  Mom’s house was central station.  Even before she was gone there had been this sense of lost – we no longer have a central place.

I’d like to live in one of the neighborhoods surrounding Jenna’s school.  They feel so inviting.  Not to mention we’d be closer to Jenna’s school.  She could walk home.  And I could have dinner ready when Roland comes home.

When we moved in, two of our boys were on missions.  Biff had a room to himself for five months before Tony returned.  Tony got married ten days before Randy returned.  Randy said he wouldn’t have lived with us if he had to share his room with both Biff and Tony (three adults in one room would have been a bit crowded – especially since Randy is so awesomely tidy and the other two are not)

Randy has since married and although the room still holds most of Biff’s possessions, he spends most of his free time in Syracuse.  Says he plans on marrying Jeanie in January.  He said the same thing about this month.  Guess we’ll know when the time comes.  They’ll probably elope.

  

Roland doesn’t want to leave West Valley. He likes it here. The ward needs him.  He doesn’t wish to give up his calling.  What devotion. 

I Think Roland Should be Driving for UTA

            Jenna and I got on the more crowded bus this morning but I took the less crowded one back to the house.  I was actually the only passenger for the first three lights.  And I was thinking that UTA really missed out for not hiring Roland as one of their drivers.

         He may have only applied that one time.  I don’t know if it even resulted with an interview or not.  Roland is a great driver.  I doubt he would be intimidated by the size of the bus.  He is a master behind the wheel in all kinds of weather.  He has exceptional people skills.  And I believe he enjoys driving.

         Not me.  I remember taking the bus one time – cold wet snowy day.  I got talking to the driver about my job and searching for another.  He said that UTA was hiring drivers.  I reminded him that I was taking the bus so that I didn’t have to drive.  Besides driving a station wagon was actually the biggest vehicle I wanted to go.  The bus is what?  Five times the size – maybe ten.  My driving skills  and a monster vehicle?  No thank you. 

         My family was friends with a UTA employee.  He had a charming personality and most of his passengers were comfortable with his over friendliness.  He was in a high senior position when UTA brought in TRAX and so had the option of driving the train instead of the bus.  I remember him telling me that driving the train freaked him out and he wanted nothing to do with it.

         He has since retired and moved away.  I don’t know where he is living at present.  I had heard from some of his family members that he has dementia.  I wonder if they had to put him in an assisted living program like we did with mom.  I wonder what stage he is in.

         I have posted some opinions on public transportation before.  But not with Roland in mind.  I know he would do well driving busses.  But he’s now sixty.  I don’t think UTA would hire him.  Their loss.

Opposites Attract

Roland likes a hearty spaghetti sauce

Full of large pieces of meat and vegetables

I like a little more sauce.

Roland likes LOTS of onions

I’m happy with just a piece of the onion

It has to be finely chopped.

Roland likes hard ginger snap cookies

I like cookies that are soft –

Preferably chocolate chip

None of that peppery strength that

Jenna and I taste with the ginger snap.

Roland likes Italian meats. 

He likes the meat lovers pizza or

At least a combination

I like Hawaiian or Vegetarian or

Just something different –

Something with Alfredo or Pesto

Roland says Chicken does NOT belong on a pizza.

Roland likes his bagels with butter or

Cream cheese and jelly

I like bagels with cream cheese. 

Sometimes cream cheese and a

Fresh tomato.

We both prefer our bagels toasted.

Roland insists on having a drink with his meal

But rarely ever finishes drinking it.

I doubt he drinks more than 20 ounces in a given day

I drink water – lots of it.  Especially in the summer.

I drink 2 – 5 quarts of liquid a day. 

Most of it is water.

Roland is an extravert with lots of charisma and charm

People like Roland.

People remember Roland.

I may not be as introverted as my siblings

But I’m certainly not the social magnet

Especially since we moved to West Valley

He’s aggressive.

I’m a door mat.

No, not really. 

But sometimes I feel like I am.

Roland is an excellent driver.

He can focus on several things

When he is behind the steering wheel.

I don’t actually enjoy driving.

I do it because it’s necessary for

Getting Jenna to school.

I told Roland I don’t have many years

Left in me before the state takes my license

The way they did with my mom

Roland is the one who stays up until
All of the children are home
I''m the one who goes to bed.
He sleeps with blankets on all year round
I might use the covers ten times at the most 

Roland and I both like to start projects.

He is much better at following through

I really need to learn to finish the job.

If You Leave Your Note Book Out – It Becomes Up For Grabs

I was raised in a household in which we respected not only one another – but property belonging to someone else.  We’d always ask one another if we could borrow or have – we didn’t just take and keep or disregard without considering the emotions of another.

Roland has always grabbed at envelopes or statements or even receipts – if there is a blank space he would document information from the caller – and leave it.  I at least make the effort to transfer the information rather than telephone my spouse and expect miracles to happen as I describe the notes I took and the possible appearance of what it might have been written on.

Today his “note” detail much more space than even a totally blank envelope will provide.  If I should leave out a notebook which I have written, be it journaling, lesson preparation, or whatever, he ignores the fact that the notebook may belong to somebody else and starts in at exactly where I left off.  What?!?

Randy at least has the decency to turn the page – problem is he has a college algebra class and uses up several pages for just one problem.  Give me a break!  Not fond of that algebra.  But then neither is he.

It isn’t just the notebook –it’s whatever happens to be lying around or - in Jenna’s case – just happens to exist.  Who cares if you had to open a drawer or cupboard and move things around just to get to it?  Pencils? Pens?  Once they enter our house, they are good as forever vanished. It is best that one NOT develop an attachment to anything as most items that come into our house grow legs and walk away or are forever hiding.

Edible things may be marked with names – but if they are kept in a public place (like the refrigerator) it is still up for grabs.  Tony is the only one of my three boys who ever asked if he could have different foods – but that was just while I was at home.  But Randy has always overlooked any personal belongings and still helps himself to whatever (and he doesn’t even live here anymore)

How nice it would be to experience the same respect that I grew up with.

Thirteen Years Ago Today

          It was 13 years ago today when I first met Roland.  Oh, I had seen him before.  He was in my mom’s ward (church boundary) for a brief period of time.

          He always sat with his arms stretched out on the pew and around each of his boys that were seated next to him on either side.  He also had a big ol’ smile plastered on his face.  There was something about him that appealed to me.  His smile perhaps.  The genuine love that he had for his boys.

          On December 31, 2000, I saw him in the foyer of the church.  He was wearing a tie with a large picture of the Tasmanian devil printed on it.

          “Nice tie,” I said.  I don’t know if I actually used the word “nice” – I’m really not that big of a Looney-Tune fan, but I did want to get his attention.  “A gift from your boys?”

          There was a loud smile on Roland’s face – because something told him that I would be his next wife.  Fortunately he did not share that with me at the time.  I don’t think I would have gone out with him otherwise. 

          He didn’t actually answer my question about the tie.  Mr. Smooth wanted to know where I sat and kept his arm around me the entire time. (I suppose that should have been a clue)

          He asked me to “First Night” an event that takes place downtown – to welcome in the New Year.  He said it would just be him and me and that he’d leave the boys at home.

          I told him NOT to leave the boys at home.  My family has played games on New Years for as long as I remember.  I told him to leave the boys at my mom’s house and play games with my family.  None of us knew that the boys would be a part of the family before the end of 2001 – except for maybe Roland.

          So the boys sat with their “cousins” apparently in order of birth – they certainly hadn’t planned it that way, but mom looked over and said they were seated Biff (13) Tony (12) Ellen (11) Randy (10) and Kimball (9)

          Our engagement happened fast – too fast in my opinion.  I had come home sick and instructed Corey that I was not to be disturbed, but he made an exception for Roland whom I really didn’t know but was comfortable with – although I didn’t know why.  I had dismissed guys less forward than Roland for being TOO forward.  And yet here was Roland who surprisingly didn’t ask me to marry him at First Night.

          He wanted my opinion about two things.  He held out some job applications and told me the pros and cons for each one and asked what job I thought he should take.  Really?  What advice could I possibly give him? 

          The reason he valued my opinion is because there was a second matter.  Would I marry him?  That is why he wanted my input about the job.  “No, no, no, no,” is what I thought in my head.  “I don’t even know this guy”

          I had had a dream the night before.  “The Lord is testing me,” I thought.  He had tested so many others in the Bible – Abraham, Sarah, Ester, Ruth, the widow that Elijah meets up with in 1 Kings 17:10. 

          I did NOT KNOW Roland.  How could I possibly marry someone I did not know – not really?  It was an act of faith.  I had convinced myself that just because I had said “Yes” to his proposal did not mean I couldn’t change my mind later on.

          I didn’t change my mind.  We were married two days before the planes crashed into the world trade center.  I thought the world had come to an end.  I suppose for many it did.  Economically we have not climbed out of it.  We have struggled most of our married lives.  There have been a large number of us who have struggled.  The mountain has become rougher.  We really need to assist one another to the top.

          It’s been a hard climb.  But I have learned to love Roland tremendously.  He always tells me how blessed he is to have me in his life.  But you know what?  I am the one who has been blessed.

          I’m grateful to Roland.  Perhaps one day I will be grateful for the struggles.  I’d be lying if I were to post that right now.  I know struggles are for my own good, they help me to grow . . . blah, blah, blah.  Honestly, at this point in time, I think struggles suck big time – even more than a powerful vacuum cleaner.

What's for Dinner?

Roland loves to cook.  He enjoys baking.  The kitchen is his domain.  Overall he is a really good cook. I can follow a recipe (usually) but I don’t enjoy cooking.  I do enjoy eating though.  Unfortunately it shows.

          When he was working on commission, Roland cooked dinner all of the time.  It was great!  Especially when he would get a hold of abandoned recipe books and feel inspired to make something different every night.  I didn’t always like what he fixed, but for the most part it was awesome.

          He has since found a job that pays an income that we can actually budget with.  But because he is required to do at least 40 hours a week,  I am now in charge of making the meals.  Roland doesn’t complain exactly, but always asks why I did this or why I didn’t do that or gives me helpful suggestions on how I can improve whatever I have prepared. 

          I don’t know why Roland wants me to prepare every meal.  When I have dinner ready, he is usually very late.  When I don’t have dinner, he is on time and wonders where dinner is. Aside from the turkey sandwiches that I’ve made and the ugly cake that was downed in just seconds, he never likes anything that I make.

          I finally came up with a dish that he raved about.  Well, not raved exactly. But he said he liked it.  I, on the other hand, found it to be somewhat disgusting.

          “Really?” I asked. 

          “yes.  I thought it was pretty good.”

          I can’t win!

          Last week I made ham fried rice.  I had never made it before.  It wasn’t bad.  It tasted much better the next day.

NOT the Brady Bunch

          Roland has six children – nine if you count the three that were never born – which he often does.  They’ve all been given names – though I doubt we’ll be raising the unborn in the hereafter.

          Biff is the oldest.  He has brown eyes and looks just like his paternal grandfather.  Spitting image – only taller – which is saying a lot as Biff’s biggest hang-up about life seems to have been with his small size.  He really is not that tall compared to your average guy – but he is taller than those on both Roland’s side and his mom’s side.

          Tony seems to get his looks from his mom’s side – though I haven’t really seen it.  The receding hairline is definitely from her side.  Though Tony towers over his mom’s small sized family (small individuals – the family itself is actually quite large in number) he seems to share the same skinny genes that his mom’s side seem to hold.

          Randy is sort of a mixture. Hazel eyes (as well as Tony) all American boy. Freckles. Tallest of the three. Dimples show when he smiles – which is often.

          Vincente – I don’t know if they actually knew the sex at the time or had an ultrasound as his twin brother was a surprise.  I’m thinking if they had known the sex they would have also known that there were two of them.

          Stephen -  Roland had picked out a name for one before his late wife passed.  And when he learned there were two jotted a name down for the other. 

He must have written Stephen’s name in a journal after Vincente

          Francis – Amazon build like her mother – but with facial features from Roland’s side – which I hadn’t noticed.  But then I haven’t yet met Roland’s entire family.

          Pamprin also has the Amazon bone structure and a face like her mom’s.  But she does have dimples like Randy.  And actually her behavior is pretty identical to his also.

          Tracy was only six weeks inside me.  I remember exactly when and where he/she was conceived.  At least one of Roland’s little swimmers wiggled its way up my right fallopian tube before the egg was ready to drop. And that’s where Tracy grew. 

But my tube burst and my belly filled with blood.  We didn’t even know Tracy was in there until an ultrasound was given and we heard his/her heartbeat.  I still cry when I think about it.  Tracy had to be aborted – along with what was left of my tube.  If we would have waited another hour I would be dead, too.

We picked the name Tracy as we have no sex identity.  But I don’t believe Tracy is ours to keep.  I believe the “receiving a body” is more than just a six weeks in the womb.  I believe that Tracy may have gone to another family – or had to wait a while to come to our family.

Jenna is our miracle baby.  Conceived in my early forties and on only one tube.  She looks like both of her parents.  I have seen some expressions that remind me of Francis, but I have also seen some that look like Pamprin.  In her I see a lot of personalities, mostly mine and Randy’s and Tony’s.  Though when she was inside me she was strong like Biff – as we could see her doing calisthenics through the ultrasound.

We have a few pictures of all six kids being silly – well, five of them were.  Jenna was only six months and didn’t demonstrate any behavior other than being happy.  We also have one taken with Roland and his six children – the last time we saw his oldest two girls – the last time when all our boys were together.