More Tears, More Reasons

               This morning Ally decided that she would sit in Grandpa’s chair – even though theoretically it is the best choice for him as it is close to the stove.  He should have not given into her – but wanted to make peace apparently.  He had already confided in me that he thought she was spoiled.  I don’t know how much of that is giving in to her and how much is giving in to the Kabuki syndrome or whatever other illnesses arise.

         He asked her how many eggs she wanted.  She claimed two which he said he would do just one at a time for her.  But he gave her both – none of which she ate.  She did try her sausage but said it was spicy – which I agree.  I am not fond of that sausage.  Clair usually sits next to her to monitor her feeding but as Ally was sitting in Grandpa’s chair and Grandpa was sitting in Clair’s, Ally and Clair were not sitting together. 

        Ally claimed to have had pancakes but no one saw her eat them and there was no evidence that she had.  She appears that she overeats which is actually not the case. She dismissed herself after trying to feed the dogs which I said were not allowed in the kitchen while we ate.  Bonnie is such a loud whiner.  I don’t think I have ever heard any noises (barking included) coming out of Char.

        Ally went to her room to get her electronics.  It is still my house and they need to adjust to our rules and not the other way around.  I told her no electronics at the table.  She said she was going back to her room. Grandpa insisted that she stay at the table until we have each finished.  I can’t control her whining.  I’d just assume she was in a different room than being bratty at the table.  But she’s not mine to discipline.

        Clair said that she would not turn on Ally’s electronic device until Ally was dressed at which point Ally threw a fit.  If that had behavior had been Jaime – I would not be turning on the electronic device at all.  Jaime didn’t even have a cell phone until she was sixteen.  Hadn’t wanted one.  She prefers human interaction to electronics.  Ally doesn’t know how to interact – at least not that I can tell. 

        I unloaded the dishwasher, loaded it, cleaned out the container cubby, and cried.  The second counselor in the RS presidency offered me a place to go if I need a few hours of solace.  I may take her up on that – but not today.  Clair and Ally are suppose to be going out of town today.  Perhaps all three of them.  Going back to Utah to keep an appointment they made six months ago.

        Clair’s been through a lot.  She lost her mother right before her birthday.  She has health issues.  She has more reasons to be upset with our living conditions than I do.  And yet she always appears calm and tends to be the peace maker among the rest of us.  I still cry though.  I don’t want them to be here another ten years like they were with Biff’s former mother-in-law.  Richard says three months.  Now he’s saying two years.  Two years?  Really?  We can’t have them out for summer so that Jaime has a room to return to?

100 plus days

                I believe it was Thursday when the kindergarten celebrated the 100^th day of school.  They had used 100 beans to fill in the number 100 on a paper and glued their beans in place.  I wasn’t there for that part.  I saw their papers set aside to dry.

            It had rained on Sunday.  I’m assuming that the rain chased the fog away as there was none impairing my vision during yesterday’s drive.  It was cold and the sun remained hidden and so was not blinded as I approached any off the exits. 

            First class: 7^th grade math.  17 students who for the most part are respectful to the instructor and pay attention to what she is doing on the board – except for two who constantly visit.  I can’t stand between them as there are two students behind the talkers.  If I stand between them, I will block the view of the other two youth.  I stand to the side.

            Next class: 8^th grade math.  12 students.  Pre Algebra.  XY slope.  Yuck. I mostly just sit in the back of the class.

            Prep Class: teaching respect and humane concepts in addition to academics.  Last month they learned math. This month is writing. 

            After that is homeroom for 15 -20 minutes.  I just don’t get the Canyonville schedule.  What is the purpose of homeroom?  To get caught up on missing assignments.  Most of the students seem to be under the impression that it’s a time to socialize.

            Student lunch.  I have usually preferred monitoring the middle schoolers as opposed to the younger children.  Middle schoolers don’t say, “That kid pushed me/called me a name”.  But I noticed behavioral attitudes with several after the 100 days.  Coincidence?

            “No balls in the playground area.  It isn’t safe.”  “Don’t play tag near the playground equipment.  It you’re going to play tag, take it out into the grassy area.”  Do they listen?  No, they are middle schoolers and the rules don’t apply to them.

            Their lunch and recess are finally over and I get to take my lunch.

            Kindergarten:   Usually I have helped with assignments involving the letter of the day.  Yesterday was math.  New numbers introduced: 16 and 17.  Though they have been counting to the current days-in-school each day.  They have counted from 1 -100 by ones, by fives and by tens.

            2^nd grade reading: the room is so loud I can’t even hear my own group.  I wasn’t having issues with them but the teacher was.  She had reprimanded several of the students several times.  I thought my group was doing okay – except maybe one who wasn’t following directions.  She couldn’t seem to hear me.  It was loud.  I couldn’t even hear myself.

            15 minutes of recess and I’m done.  I will follow that same routine today.  But Thursday and Friday will have me at a different schedule.  I won’t be working with the middle schoolers.  I might only have to do lunch recess.  I’m not sure. 

People Don’t Come With Instruction Books

          For the last two days I’ve accepted work assignments from two different schools to fill in for aides who have been given the assignment to keep an eye on specific students.  I feel for the students who are trying their best but allow themselves to get distracted by the one who is “unique” or has “special needs” and may be treated with “kid gloves” when they, themselves are not and wonder why a certain classmate is allowed to get away with things that they cannot.

          I understand the need to allow a “special needs” to have the same opportunity as those who are considered the norm.  I think it equally important for the “norm” to be exposed to “special needs” as they learn about discipline, social skills and other things that are not a part of academics but still need to be learned.  But at whose expense?

          Though the student body is less populated than the area that we had moved from five years ago, the class sizes are huge in size for lack of teachers and/or space.  Many kids need more personal attention than given – though the system does its best to accommodate.  There seems to be a fine border between education and discipline.  The schools, desperate for teachers, have hired many that have not been trained in finding tricks in order to discipline.

          Still, no one method is going to work for every student – just as no one method will work on each child in any given family.  It doesn’t seem to matter how small or large the family is, there seems to always be at least one that will move to the beat of a different drummer.  I know that whatever method of discipline I may have used on Tony would not work on Randy and vice-versa.  Two totally separate personalities with different thought process and ways of learning.

          Jenna hates having group projects in which children are assigned to work together.  I hated that, too.  But I do get it.  We need to have good communication skills to get things accomplished as adults.  It’s better to learn how to be a team player at a young age than try to apply it to one’s job or career responsibility later on down the road.  “Kid gloves” shouldn’t even be an issue in the workplace – and yet there are some companies that seem to skirt around them. 

          How much further ahead are those who allow God to be a part of our lives and include Him in everyday decisions.  Communication is essential. Frustration occurs when we don’t, won’t or aren’t able to communicate.