Another Disappointment

Jenna's been in a slump

I wish I knew how to fix the situation
surely as my mom wished she could
when I was the age that Jenna is now

 I don't believe mom had gone through this slump

when she was thirteen.
Her parents were newly divorced and
she was a latch key kid trying to support her mom
and help look after her brothers
She didn't have time to get bored
Jenna gets bored
I got bored.
How unfortunate.

I think my mom had it harder than I do.

Jenna still allows herself to be disappointed
whenever plans don't work out or
promises get broken.
When I was thirteen, I had already fixed my mind
into believing that I didn't care
It was a lot easier to not care than be hurt all the time

Lonely.  We both needed good friends.

And actually I was in a better position as far
as contact goes.  There were fewer working mothers
and houses close together. 
I could walk up or down the street and
spend some time with either Julie or Janeen.
Jenna has never really had a soul mate
a great friend she could confide in that
is nearer to her own age

 We both thought she and Annette were like two peas

in a pod.  I had even created a post about it.
Unfortunately Annette's mom seems to have control issues
and insecurities much like the mother
of Jenna's sisters - who we are not in contact with because
they were brainwashed into believing we are horrible people.

She and Kylee hung out the other day.  I wish

they could get together more often -
especially since each is lonely in her own way.
But it doesn't work out as often as we'd like.

Jenna has always wanted to do activities with the boys rather

than the girls.
She hasn't always liked young women or
activity days before that.
She also has issues with the newest beehive who
needs to be involved - but somehow seems socially awkward.

The young women - or perhaps it was all of the youth -

had planned for a dress-up party. 
Initially, Jenna had wanted to go as a lobster.
She doesn't have a lobster costume, but did purchase
a scary costume for Halloween.  She decided
she would wear the costume to the bbq/party. 
She's been looking forward to it for over a month.
Last week it was announced that there would no longer be a bbq
but bring your laptops.  We will find names in family files
so that we can do baptisms.
Oh, joy.  So not only is the bbq cancelled, but have turned it
into something completely boring.

 I actually enjoyed family history when I was her age

A Million times more than I do now.
Well - perhaps less than a million.
And it was never the genealogy thing.  It was
the adults I enjoyed being with.
Wow.  That sounds weird to my ears as I write that.
I was thirteen.  What did I know?

 Jenna hangs around adults at the library and

our water aerobics class.  I think she feels more comfortable
I know I did.
I didn't do well with girls my age.
I guess they all weren't like Barbie dolls but
there were enough that were into boys
and fads
and fashions
and I never was.
I can understand her not relating to the YW.
There are so few of them.
I understand why plans change.
I don't understand why they did when I was a youth.
I often got upset with those who would suggest the activity
and not bother to show.  What's up with that anyway.

So that's been a slump contributor I'm sure, plus

the fact that she has been without a room for 
the last two months. 
Service Master was great when we had their fans -
They checked on us every day.
But once they had their equipment back
we weren't even an afterthought.
Our house still isn't finished.
But Jenna's things have finally been returned.

 She's been hot and cold. 

Mood swings and slumps.
I do believe my mother had it worse.
I was a psychological mishap.
I HATED being a teenager. 
I would never want to go through that again.
And yet . . . here I am.  Going through it.
Experiencing it from a mother's point of view.
And I cry when I think about how my mom
must have felt.
It was heartache for her
and she didn't know what to do.
And I want to apologize to her.
I want to say I'm sorry I was such a spaz,
and I'm thankful that you didn't have to go through it
with all of us.

On Monday we will watch the eclipse at the pool.

I was able to make Jenna smile

laugh actually
when I shared this thought
that I took from facebook
(I don't know who to credit though -
one of Corey's friends . . . .)

 

Today we went and picked pears.

I don't know if I'll post about it or not.