Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

They Call Me Mary Cooper

          Young Sheldon is a spin-off CBSs popular TV series Big Bang Theory starring Jim Parson as Sheldon Cooper.  Young Sheldon is also narrated by Jim Parson who explains further about himself and his family.  His mom is Mary Cooper, a very religious woman who often turns to God and encourages her children to do the same.  I, too, encourage others to allow God to be a part of their lives by thanking Him or asking Him for assistance.  For example we each had a chaotic day yesterday though I think Claire and Biff had more unexpectancies to deal with.

         One of our lights had busted at the front of our car we dont even know when or how but finally got around to asking someone to look at it.  We had an appointment for yesterday.  Richard was going to take it in and have me follow only the other car wouldnt start.  We tried starting it on our own a few times before we said a prayer.  Biff pulled into the driveway.  An answer.  I pulled the Nissan out of the driveway.  Biff and Richard pushed the Saturn next to Biffs car and Biff was able to give the car a jump.

         We were on the freeway on our way to Roseburg when Claire called to report that the bottom freezer had gone out and our refrigerator wasnt working properly.  Richard and I had already looked at other fridges problem is they have all been too wide for the allotted amount of space that we have for a refrigerator.  Looking at fridges was a much better time than cleaning out product and transferring whatever was salvable but ended up throwing a lot of food in the trash.  I dont even know how much.  I think an entire garbage bag.

         Their initial plan was to go to the DMV to change their expired plates something they should have done three months ago, but it obviously hasnt been a priority.  Tough that was their intention they were unable to find the title to the car.  I suggested that they pray and invite the Lord to help them.  Whether they did or not, I dont know.  I did.  But I think my prayers may not work by themselves but they also need to let him in.

         Richard was all set on buying a fridge.  Because of the size we need, we are quite limited with our choices.  As I had suggested Biff and Clair pray about the title I thought it only right that we pray about the decision on the fridge.  Biff loaded the dishwasher with all the used containers and other dirty dishes and washed and dried a load of laundry that I had left on top of the machines.  They were definitely busy. 

         I thanked them both for all they had done.  We ended up calling the appliance store for the fridge we didnt find as appealing as the one wed rather have but felt guided to go that way.  Also another expense that we didnt want but at least we dont need to get a plumber which seemed to be the solution when we encountered a flood on Saturday night/Sunday morning.  I thought we would need to call a plumber come Monday but it was taken care of.  We are truly blessed.

         Anyway, because I always ask others if they had prayed about whatever, Jaime has dubbed me as Mary Cooper.  I should feel honored.

Monday, September 19, 2022

When Integrity Is Questioned

            Something that irks me more than anything is when my integrity is questioned – especially when it is by one who knows me – or I thought knew me. I can think of only one example though I know that more exist.  The one example I can think of happened so many years ago it’s a wonder I do remember it.

          I was working for Standard Brands at the time.  My position was cashier and I took a clients money, set it on top of the register, counted back her change, removed the ten dollar bill from the top of the register, checked out the letter and first three digits of the serial number (a trick my brother had taught me) and then she told me that she had given me a twenty. 

I looked at the only twenty in my drawer and compared the serial number to what ten laid on top.  She had given me a ten – not a twenty.  But she went over my head and got a manager who seemed to agree with the statement that “the customer is always right”.  Well, guess what, the customer is NOT always right.  There are people who are scam artists that will say anything to get what they want – regardless of whom it may hurt.  I was livid! 

I told the manager exactly what I had done and proceeded to spit out the letter and first three digits of the serial number.  It did not mean anything.  My drawer would be short at the end of the night.  I was so angry.  And sure enough, it was that exact amount – an extra ten dollars because my boss had taken the customers word over my own.

In this day and age we are all victims.  A youth may report anything about an instructor, a parent, or guardian – even if they are only doing it as a joke.  It can’t be taken lightly.  Foster kids get moved from one home to another due to false allegations.  Teachers lose their jobs.  And oh, two months down the line – whoops – we made a mistake.  But the damage has already been done.  The reputation of the individual has been marred.

This is one reason why the youth classes are now encouraged to have two leaders in the classroom - a protection for each other as well as the students they serve.  I remember a time when it was okay to sleep in the same tent as the leader.  Nothing damaging happened but I understand the reason that we don't do that anymore.  We don't do a lot of things anymore.  Thank you natural man for ruining that for all of us!

In this day and age it seems to be more damaging – or perhaps just more publicized.  Good is evil and Evil is good. Politicians lie about their opponents.  Politicians lie about themselves.  I learned in Sunday School yesterday that the faith in God has been dropping in our nation.  At one time there were 75% of all people who professed religion and that number has dropped to 30%.  How in the world can you live on this planet without turning to diety?  I would not be able to survive without the comfort of prayer and a constant plea for His protection.  I am helpless without it. 

I am an honest person.  Perhaps too honest.  Is there such thing?  Like when the underwriters constantly hound you about an  insurance policy that you increased at their suggestion.  Or jumping hoops just to get a loan, or a job, or an education or whatever.  Why would you not want to make God a part of that decision.  Peace comes from within.  Within an eternal connection to a higher power.  Certainly not from the world itself.  We’re an estranged messed up people.  I am so grateful for the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father.

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Just Stay at the Top of the Hill

         It’s been nearly a year since my first mention of the neighbor’s chickens.  They used to lean a ladder near the fence so the chickens could climb back into their own yard.  


At first it was just a few on the hill – not the 15 plus that have accumulated in our yard during that time.  Roland doesn’t want them under the deck and I don’t want them on the deck.  We don’t want them in the garden and so have been putting up barriers all over the yard. 
we had to add netting to the steps to prevent them from going through

 

I did find at least three of them on the inside; they had dug
under the wire to make it wide enough to go though. Roland
used some stakes for the bottom.  Hopefully that will work.

Despite our efforts the chickens have managed to dig under, fly over, or somehow manage to squeeze themselves into areas where we’d rather they not be. 

The chickens always stop near the deck and look longingly on how to get inside and have found ways to get in and will need to be chased out until we can plug up what we had managed to miss. 

a few of the chickens discovered they could enter through this hole
our temporary solution

It’s just a temporary fix at that.  We have wanted to turn the deck into a back room since we moved in.  We finally have the finances to do so (or good enough credit in order to borrow) but cannot find a contractor who will commit to any earlier than December.  Someday.  Meanwhile, we’re continuing to battle the chickens to certain boundaries – which doesn’t seem to be setting well with them.

I thought I could make some profound comparison to God’s commandments for us or certain restrictions that citizens may feel toward the mask or getting the vaccination (looking at the staff of Moses – Numbers 17: 10-12) and the reaction of the natural man.  Instead of belittling the laws or commandments and searching for a way to get back into our own comfort zone maybe take a moment to understand WHY the net is there, why the fence has been put up, why the commandment was given. 

When I saw the chickens at the top of the hill my initial thought was, “Oh, good.  They got the message.” 


They don’t understand and they return.  I think many of us do that.  We don’t understand.  We return to what was familiar – like Pre-COVID for example.  Circumstances change and often we have to change with it.  That’s just the way it is.  Hopefully we will come to terms and learn better than the chickens do.  But there will always those who disagree and voice their opinion – which they are allowed. 

We all have free agency to think of others or think only of ourselves and how the last year has affected us or our business or uprooted our personal lives without a thought of how it has been for others.  ALL OF US HAVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME PANDEMIC but not all reactions have been the same.  I for one like to believe I have become stronger. 

I suppose I am like the chickens to some degree.  I was okay with staying home.  I don’t wish to go back outside because I know it will never be what it was pre-COVID.  We’ve gone (or are going through) another evolution.  There’s always been hate, disagreement, hostility, etc.  just as there’s always been kindness, love, service . . . but it just seems more obvious right now.  It’s a matter of knowing where to look and choosing to follow your peers or the example of our prophets and our God. 

I had the opportunity of adding a “Vaccine” frame to my facebook profile pic. 

I know it will open a can of worms from some of those I am facebook friends with – none of whom I’ve defriended but have unfollowed many. I KNOW that not everyone feels comfortable about the vaccination for reasons other than feeling forced into it.  Some people have had bad reactions to the required vaccinations for being in public education.  But I also believe that the exceptions are few and far between.  I also believe in personal revelation.  I pray about major decisions such as traveling or health.  Prayer works.

Thursday, October 22, 2020

May You Allow Inspiration to Guide You

A virtual stake conference was scheduled for Sunday.  Of course we couldnt watch it at home as we had no internet.  Our options were to either miss church or watch the video at the church building. I think Roland was planning on working with connecting the internet as soon as it was warm enough, but I told him if he wanted to be blessed that he would have to go to Church with Jenna and me.

When we hold ward meetings each Sunday, the podium and microphone are wiped down between each speaker.  They did not do that at stake center in Roseburg (we did not go to Roseburg but watched the broadcast at the building in Myrtle Creek) and it was kind of freaking me out especially since two of the stake presidency were quite moist with emotion.  I guess when you are on the stand behind the speaker you dont notice what the speaker is doing or how he/she might be spreading germs around unintentionally.  I personally dont enjoy sitting behind the speaker as I get more out of the talk when I can watch the person speaking.

I hadnt grabbed my notebook when we headed out the door.  At first it felt too dark to even see what I was writing.  Jenna sang but I did not.  Even if I could have seen the words I have a dry cough from the fan being left on all night. Its so awkward singing behind a mask at that.

One of the counselors shared a thought about ignoring inspiration is denying yourself privileges and blessings that God has intended for you.  I wish I could remember the exact quote, but I dont.  It reminded me of a paragraph I had written down to give to the elders:

“Often we think that we want our lives to go a certain way – or perhaps it is expected of us.   Perhaps we acknowledge deity and ask for assistance to take us down the road of our desires.  God does provide us with assistance, often sending us tools that we may “grow” our own blessings. But often we don’t realize that what has been “planted” is not at all what we had asked for.  I have learned to trust my Father in Heaven’s guidance – even if it is in a direction I did not believe I wanted to go.  We can choose to follow in faith or we can be misguided by our own weakness or pride.  We can find tools that will help us on the path to eternal life or we can find paths that may lead us to destruction.  from this post.

There was a couple who gave a talk together.  Their talk was about ministering. She talked about a sister who had been inspired to bring her dinner which triggered my own thoughts of receiving potatoes the year I was pregnant with Jenna (see here) and how touched I am about it still.

 There was another talk about prayer and specifically asking ourselves three things during the meditations: 

what have I done today I shouldn’t have done –

 

What have I not done today that I should have?

 

What am I grateful for today

 

Jenna had heard that before but I dont think I had.  If I did I didnt commit it to memory which by the way has not been that great. I left church feeling spiritually fed and wished it had been recorded so that I could watch it again.

After we returned home Jenna made lunch for all of us and I went outside with Roland who managed to make a temporary connection to the internet and so did not have to try and connect with the internet at the church.  Prayer works.


Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Finishing Saturday

          We had signed up to feed the missionaries for Saturday.  Roland had requested them to come at 4:00 but they said they could not come until 5:00 which is their normal eating time.  We were doing another breakfast dinner but with a few changes such as having waffles. Roland believed he could start the dinner at 3:00 and have it ready by 4:00.  I think with the amount of time he spent trying to repair the cable, he would just assume have not had to deal with the missionaries at all.  However the arrangements had already been made.

With the cable disconnected and his working to get it repaired, I started a countdown which I dont think helped his mood at all.  I thought it would be nice if he showered before our breakfast dinner got started.  I ran over the list in my mind eggs, waffles, sausage and bacon.  It seemed like there was something else but I could not figure it out otherwise I would have started the hash browns right away as they seem to take the longest to cook. But Roland had me start on the waffle batter while he was in the shower.

 Before I had even started my foot found some water which I slipped on.  I did the splits before falling onto my behind which is not the only part of me now bruised.  My arm hit a spindle on the chair as I was falling down.  I think that hurt more than my butt.  Jenna was in a panic.

MOM!  Are you okay?

No, I was upset about how my day had gone.  I was on the floor crying and she offered a prayer that we would continue to get through the day and that we could keep focused on the positive.   was NOT a good day overall.  I suppose there were a few perks to it like when Jenna offered a prayer that we would focus on the highlights and not allow the day to get us down.  I made the batter before Roland returned and Jenna started in on the waffles.

I then took my shower and returned to set up the chairs and food outside.  I was on eternal hold with the cable company when the elders arrived and Roland was still cooking dinner.  They had arrived early. Jenna took the dog outside and kept the missionaries company until Roland and I were able to join them.  I brought out the waffles and hash browns and told them to go ahead and bless the food and get started which they did.

Meat still in the oven eventually made its way out and the eggs were still on the stove.  We brought the dog inside so that the Elders could enjoy their food without her lustful looks.

Roland made a temporary switch over to the local antenna.  I rolled my eyes as TV just isnt that important to me.  It didnt do anything for the internet.  Roland watched TV while I went into our room to type some thoughts for the missionaries as they had requested.


Sunday, September 13, 2020

Return to Church

         We fed the missionaries on Friday though the air quality was not that great.  They did not seem to mind as we built and ate Hawaiian haystacks out on our porch and visited for a bit.  I’d given them containers to take home some food which they said they would give me on Sunday.  Sadly that was my main objective for going as I knew we haven’t returned to normal and I thought it would be depressing.  Only the speaker was allowed to remove his mask.  We were told we could sing but had to leave our masks on.  I chose not to sing as the smoke has been enticing me to cough.

Several announcements were made before the bishop talked about how many of us are opinionated and often our opinions will put us into a box. There are a wide variety of boxes that exist – in our jobs, in our community, the way we serve (he didn’t say politics – but that is one I had thought of) . . . some people, such as the Pharisees, will add layers of thickness to their boxes. We need to look to reliable sources – such as the scriptures to understand the truth – to rely on truth rather than opinions and to leave our boxes.  We should not trust sources such as social media (he had addressed this as a question rather than providing a statement that we can’t trust social media or even the local news. An example he used were that some sources the fires were started by a certain group and others say that rumor is false). The best source we have is to rely on our Heavenly Father rather than ourselves.

  A representative of the stake presidency gave a message on hope. He talked about his time at the pear farm this year and working on the platform. He said that all the platform workers were given harnesses. Many would hang onto the harness with one hand and reach for pears with the other. President Efson decided to put his faith in the harness and reach for the pears with both hands. He compared the harness to the Savior and told us to put our faith in the Savior the way he had the harness.

            We were also counseled to pray for our firefighters, those that have evacuated, a plea for a change in weather and that these hardships will help to soften hearts and heal the wounds of division that are present throughout our communities, region, and country.

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Big Booms Over Subtleness

https://www.guideposts.org/faith-and-prayer/7-trending-faith-and-prayer-topics

            I have noticed that there are several prayers that are answered in a way that we would not choose to be answered in that way.  Remember this post? For some of us the answer comes with such devastation that we may not even recognize it as an answer until several months or years down the road.  Allow me to provide some examples.

            I remember a sister in my home ward who was always on the go.  It seems she spent many hours driving, serving, nurturing, what have you . . . constantly assisting others but never herself.  She had a desire to spend more time for scripture study and prayed about it.  When she threw out her back initially, I don’t think she viewed it as an answer to her prayers.  She had to stay off her feet for several weeks which gave her the time to delve into the scriptures and form a routine.  Not exactly a subtle answer, but an answer nonetheless.

            My dad had a series of strokes, each had crippled him just a little more than the last.  My brother Corey was struggling with his testimony at the time and was angry with God for jeopardizing my dad’s health.  My prayerful dad of tremendous faith explained his failing health as an answer to prayer.  Not the way any of us would have wanted it to go.  I suppose sometimes God’s answer has to be dramatic not only for ourselves but perhaps those that we are in contact with.

            Dad had been unhappy with his job for years and was looking for a way out without jeopardizing our financial security.  My dad was young but was forced into a medical retirement.  I think I would have rather had a healthy dad – but it made sense later on . . . much later on.  He was able to collect social security not only for himself but my little sister as well.  We spent more time together.  We were able to see pieces of my dad’s personality that had been hidden prior to the strokes (see here

                Many prayers have been answered during this pandemic – crazy answers that have provided strength to some while others seem to have lost focus and have stopped praying if they ever prayed at all.  Each month has introduced a new set of problems.  This month has been the “order” to reopen schools which has brought up many concerns, conflicts and a new set of protests.  I have many friends who have done extensive research and have looked into other options.

            Schools along the west coast have refused to reopen while other schools across the country prepare to reopen. One friend who lives in another state recently received an answer to her prayers – though I don’t suspect she has viewed it as such – at least not yet.  She was in a horrible accident.  She said it was her fault.  She is grateful that there weren’t any passengers and that no one was hurt.  It was a stupid accident (according to her) and she has been kicking herself about the financial pain.  She told me that she will be keeping her children home because she doesn’t ever want to drive again. She didn’t say it that way exactly, but that is how I interpreted it.  Theoretically they live within walking distance to the two schools involved – too close to be bused but still far enough and across busy streets that she would rather drive them than worry about potential injury due to neglectful drivers.

            Prayers often come with a cost – not always a financial one.  Sometimes the cost is the approval of others.  For example there have been several members who have converted to the church at the risk of losing their family.  There have been some who have left the church who no longer receive support from their families.  How could a strain on a relationship possibly be an answer to prayer?

            I think if we look at our “burdens” in relation to things we have prayed for we may have a better understanding.  We will also have these incredible stories to share that others may learn.  Answers to our prayers aren’t just solely for us but for those around us that they may learn to explore trials of their own.


Monday, December 2, 2019

Tapering Off With "Come Follow Me"



When the “Come Follow Me” program was announced last year, it was also announced that our Sunday church meetings would go from three hours down to two but that we, as members, were still responsible for filling that third hour on our own and were provided with a manual – one per family.  Jenna and I both predicted that many, though may have started out with great intentions, would not keep on their studies on their own.

          As the program was new to all of us, I thought our family could invite others to learn with us and we could all struggle through it together.  Not that going through the scriptures is a struggle.  I had taught the youth when the Church did away with traditional manuals and so had a familiarity – the trying to learn it without instruction seemed a little more trying. 

          I felt inspired to invite families or individuals to learn with us.  Trying to squeeze dinner in at the same time was NOT a good idea as my focus was on the learning part whereas Roland seemed to be more interested in the food part. 

          Meanwhile I had purchased notebooks for those who might not have.  My intention was to sit down together and learn things at the same time – well, sort of.  Jenna and I had continued to go through the scriptures and manual first thing after we came home from church.  Roland did not participate with us as he was still at the church fulfilling his clerical calling.

          “Dinner’s ready,” he announced before we had an opportunity to study or discuss.  We hadn’t communicated how we had wanted to present ourselves.  We hadn’t prayed about who we should invite.  We had more people than we did seats at the table.  It didn’t turn out as I had hoped.  There was no discussion.

          From then on I prayed about who we should invite.  I encouraged Roland to pray about this decision in his personal prayers as well as our family prayer.  We went to the home of a widow and had a really great discussion with her.  Every other appointment we had attempted had fallen through.  Eventually so did our efforts to make connections.  Too bad.

          Jenna and I would still continue to read scriptures and go through the manual.  

          I don’t when one of the counselors in RS posted a link to Emily Freeman/David Butler videos (found here) gradually I allowed the video to replace my efforts of setting up appointments with other members.  Jenna and I would return from church and watch the videos.  Sometimes I would print out the study sheet to pass out to my primary class.  I started to slide though when it was Danny’s turn to teach. 

          If I did miss a week, I would watch the missed video the following week in addition to the current week – which I tried to do this week as I missed last week.  I realize I’ve become dependant on the videos and a lot lax on the manual.  I’m always embarrassed to find the bookmark in a spot more than six weeks back.

          On Friday I watched this video followed by the one for first and second Peter.  I took notes on the video for James.  Loved it. I always get more out of presentations if I take notes.  I did not take notes for “Peter’s” part.  I tried watching again later on.  Still, nothing resonated with me.  Yesterday morning I watched it again.  I was in the other room and did not have access to any of my notebooks.  Still nothing.

          Usually, when “Don’t Miss This” video ends, a conference address will automatically play, but yesterday it was followed by this video.  Butler/Freeman videos are not the only video resource for “come follow me” as there are several options.  I got more out of the second video “Teaching with Power”.  I rewatched it after Roland and Jenna got up as I figured Roland would sit through more of it then he does of “Don’t Miss This” – we are two different people.  Videos that usually grab me and Jenna don’t work for him and vice-versa.  He can sit through a monotone documentary.  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ – not me.  Jenna and I prefer the animation.

          I was impressed by how much she paid attention and how many correct answers she was able to provide on the questionnaire. 

          When Sunday school started yesterday morning, I could see the questions and scriptural references all had to do with James – and I had brought my notebook.  I figured I’d be able to participate – which I did.  There was more participation yesterday than there had been the time we had met before.
         
          As we wrapped up James, the instructor played a couple of videos and erased the board and rewrote Peter 3:18, 19, and 4:6.  There were also three references for D&C – the last being about 35-40 verses.  I don’t even remember any emphasis being placed on those scriptures in either video – not to say it wasn’t present, I just hadn’t seen it.  In my mind, each of the three messages had been presented differently enough that the three of them together covered more ground as each of them took certain scriptures to dwell on – and there is still so much more.  And I need to reread and study better than I have done.

          I enjoy learning different points of view and what may be meaningful to someone may be overlooked by somebody else.  I enjoy connecting the pieces – or seeing the pieces presented rather so that I may make the connection. 

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Sunday Meeting



            On Thursday someone had called Roland’s phone to see if I would offer the closing prayer at the end of today’s sacrament meeting.  I didn’t know how my throat what be, but as it has started healing, I decided I would go to Church and stay for at least sacrament meeting but might not stay for Relief Society.  Jenna made other arrangements for getting a ride home.

            Sacrement meting was really good!  The first speaker expanded on Elder Uchtdorf’s talk “Our Great Adventure”(here) in which he compares the hobbit creatures to each of us.  For those who have seen or read “The Hobbit” the parallels may have been easily understood.  I’m not really big fan of fantasy and felt somewhat lost with Elder Uchtdorf’s talk which evidently our sacrament speaker had also and provided some more in depth detail to make more sense out of the talk that some of us just didn’t understand the first time around.


            The concluding speaker was our new bishop – a newly called bishop who was just sustained a high priest two weeks ago.  I have LOVED every talk he has given.  Today was no exceptions.  He reminisced a few quotes and conference and spending time with the family.  He just does it with such awesome enthusiasm that it just made everyone smile. 

            The Spiritual exceptions happened during the sacramental and concluding hymn.  I found it ironic that the first hymn “In Remembrance of Thy Suffering” had the word suffer in it as it seemed suffering to listen to the congregation struggling to sing it as though it was the first time each member had seen that particular piece of music.  Granted, it isn’t sung as regularly as some of the other sacrament hymnals that are in the book, but I know I have sung it before.  But the congregations very unsync efforts pretty much butchered the song.   

            The closing hymn didn’t sound as bad, but it was quite obvious that they both needed work and a professional choir we are not.  I gave  the closing prayer and returned home.  My plans were to kick back and drink some herbal tea.  Instead I am writing a post and drinking something terrible that should work like medicine because the taste is like medicine.

            Roland had purchased a box of vanilla protein shakes a while back figuring they might work as a substitute for milk in my lunches.  There is no substitute for milk!  I had told him that.  I had told him not to purchase the protein drinks but he gets a bee in his bonnet and forgets conversations.  I love him for thinking of me.  But come on.  It’s something you drink when you don’t have time for a meal – not with a meal.
           
            When I am not hungry but feel the need to eat, I will break on out but not enjoy it though the vanilla protein is better than the chocolate – which I can only drink when I mix it with actual chocolate milk (that is really milk) and so my drink is always twice the size of the intent.  Roland absolutely hates the vanilla.  Again, I told him not to purchase them in the first place.

            Anyway I am supposed to drink warm liquids – not that a warm protein drink is on the agenda, but I thought I’d try it figuring it would taste worse than refrigerated or room temperature.  Boy, did it ever!  What sane person does Not Love the taste of chalk?  My mouth is now on death row. When it cooled off, I added some honey to it.  That seemed to help.  But it hasn’t gotten rid of the yucchy residue build up on my tongue.

            And that concludes this post.  Now for kicking back and perhaps having the tea I should have had in the first place.

Monday, June 17, 2019

Dash #44 Three Values


 

          There are definitely many values that our parents instilled in us, but the three I would pick to answer this question would be prayer, family and service.


Prayer


          From an early age, we learned that we could communicate to our Heavenly Father through prayer.  We were taught not only to ask for things but to thank God as well for the many blessings that we had.  And there truly were many.  Mom and dad were able to help us understand what the blessings were.  Especially dad.  He had tremendous faith and find the blessings where we could not such as in car failure or his swelled foot (here)and in his final years could see the blessings with his deteriorating health.          
          I remember on several occasions seeing my dad kneeling in front of the green chair which I dubbed “the prayer chair”.  After mom passed, the green chair went to live in Kayla’s home and remained there until recently from what I understand.


Family


          Each of us was important and our parents made certain that we knew we added value. It was important for us to respect one another and treat each other kindly.  They did not show favoritism.  They taught us to work together and took an interest in everything we did.  They would support our dreams and include us with big decisions – like where to go and what to do on vacation or the décor of the newly finished basement.  I don’t know that I appreciated that so much at the time, but I certainly do right now.  I wish I had been able to pass that on to Jenna’s brothers.


Service


To the best of my knowledge, neither of my parents ever turned down a church calling.  Both were diligent in their callings – even when they were discouraged or really did not care for the calling.  For example, my mom taught a primary class in which one youth, in particular, would act up and had made her calling difficult.  She had made an appointment with the bishop to ask if she could be released.  Another child in her class had called my mom from another state (back in the days before cell phones, and often calling another county was long distance, let alone another state) to thank my mom for a lesson she had learned.  It convinced my mom to stay with her calling despite the temperamental youth.
 Mom cared for dad’s family as they became her own (here).  Both of my parents served others until they started losing functions in their brains.  I learned a lot from each of my parents and am grateful for their examples in my life.


Friday, December 8, 2017

So Many Emotions




        I seem to be on an emotional kick since my psychology class started last week.  I've dealt with a lot of emotions the last couple of months - so have many members of my family and Jeanie's family as well.

        Jeanie is the late wife of my eldest son.  She passed in June and Biff stayed with his in-laws until November 1 or just the end of October.  Biff has experienced a lot of loneliness, some anger, not always positive emotion during his lifetime. He's most happy at the gym.  Working out gives him motivation.

        Jeanie was protective of him much of the time, but not always.  Often there would be meds or demons that would interfere with her thinking.  Sometimes she was nasty and would kick Biff out of the house and would not allow him to see Ali.  Many of us envisioned a repeat of Roland's choices.

        Biff has felt a bit smothered by his in-laws - he thinks they interfere, but I think it's a psychological need on their part.  They have already lost three children in the last eight years; the other two live out of state.  Their single daughter-in-law is living with a guy that she's not married to - which Biff had said was wrong.  Perhaps his in-laws were holding on too tightly to Biff.  He decided to move in with a girl he just starting dating.

        What!?!?  Are you out of your mind?!?  Everybody seems to share in the reaction.  Did you not just say it was wrong for your sister-in-law to be in that situation?  Do you remember what happened with dad and his battle with his ex-wife?  Don't you remember what happened to you?  ?????  All these emotions.  Brothers.  Sister.  Sisters-in-law.  Parents.  In-laws.  I felt so helpless reading through his mother-in-law's posts as she tried to come to terms with what had taken place.

        Some kind of dispute.  I don't know the details but I know Biff can be defensive.  I'd been shaking my head over the entire situation.

        On Monday or Tuesday I had started my assignment for psychology.  We are supposed to find at least five steps to create a strategy for better emotional health.  I had written one sentence - only one.  Kayla emailed me with a comment about Biff.  She said she noticed that he was dating and looked happy and thought it great that he had someone to spend the holidays with.

        I watched a video on emotions.  I was seeing Biff's emotions and not my own.  I am supposed to be the focus of my assignment, not him.  But I had words.  Written words and thoughts.  Enough for an assignment.  Guess I'll use it for a post.  Maybe not.  I saw the picture and had a change of heart.  His new girlfriend describes him with the same exact words that Jeanie did.  Exactly.  We had the following conversation:

Me:     "You look awesomely happy.  Good for you!"

Biff:      "I am [pause] other then the drama it causes with  [the in-laws] but definitely worth it"

Me:     "I'm sorry there's drama with the in-laws.  They're just worried about your decisions as they were/are the welfare of [widowed daughter-in-law]. Sometimes revelations happen that just can't be explained. Take Corey and Joh for instance"

Biff:      "That's true!  Did I tell you it was a revelation?  Because it really was!"

 Me:     "You didn't [say anything to me].  It was something that Kayla said, actually - that and a combination of emotion from my psychology class.

            He mentioned a personal documentation (aka his personal scriptures) that gave him some insight to assist his way of thinking.  I related as I had gone through the very same thing just over sixteen years ago.  I know my mom really had a problem with my sudden engagement to Roland - hey, so did I!  But it was revealed to me.  It was my personal revelation, not hers.  And nobody else is getting David's either.

            It's hard to think that we would actually be inspired to do something contrary to what we've been taught all along.  Why would it be okay to be deceitful (Gen. 20:11 - 12) or kill (1 Nephi 4:10) or to lay down with one unwed (Ruth 3) or why would it be okay to embrace homosexuality? 

        We don't know another's heart or his/her revelations.  We can pray that we may have peace based upon another's decision.  We may not get the same revelation, but that doesn't mean it isn't real. I'm more at peace with it than I was last month - or even just a few days ago.  I have my sister to thank for helping me turn my emotions from turmoil to joy.