I have twelve cousins – eight on my dad’s side and four on my mom’s. My parents are each the eldest in their families. Dad has a brother two years younger and baby sister (they are about twelve years apart). My mom has two brothers. All of my dad’s family lived in the Salt Lake area except for the few years that my Uncle and Aunt lived in Denver for a couple of years – that could be a different post and was several decades in the past.
My mom’s family lived in different parts of
northern California. My mom’s first
brother and his wife had three children – a boy and two girls. The youngest brother and his wife had adopted
a boy. We had visited our cousins on occasion
but didn’t know much
about them beyond their names. And even with that one I am not certain of his
given name. I had thought it was Joshua
and they changed it to Josiah. He went
by Joe so I am not sure what is was. I am five years older than the oldest of
my cousins on my mom’s side. None of us are close.
The eldest cousin lives in Oregon. Richard, Jaime and I have visited him and his
wife five or six years ago. That was
it. Our only visit with him as an adult
and probably only three when we were in our youth. I’ve had contact with his youngest
sister on facebook but nothing recent – until yesterday.
My mom and her first brother
passed away the same year. My uncle's children
had given us updates about his health. He died shortly after mom had moved into assisted
living. Their youngest brother had come
to see mom a few weeks after he passed. She passed four months after he did.
And yesterday both of my brothers recived phone messages
from San Mateo welfare system –
one viewed it as a scam but the other one answered. The call was to inform them of the passing of
our uncle (the youngest of mom's brothers; the one who had visited before mom passed) and as his son (Joe) had passed the year prior. The posterity of his siblings
would be the sole heirs of his estate.
Say what? Steven sent out a text
message to us and asked if any of us knew how to get a hold of our cousins.
I messaged the two who are on
facebook. I felt like a heel not knowing
their lives or what their position is toward our late uncle but informing them
that not only has he passed but that it has been requested that someone from family
assist in matters. I included the eldest
of my cousin’s wife in the conversation
as she is on facebook and though my cousin has an account is not on often it at
all. He is in his final stages with Huntington’s and will probably
be gone by next year (according to his wife). I have learned of three deaths have happened (or will
happen) within the matter of minutes.
There were tears in my eyes – for Uncle
Bruce was a loner and died alone. I have
no idea when or how Joe passed. I’m not even
close to these people though I do have memories. Only a few memories. It was a hodgepodge combination of emotions
brought to the surface. My vision made
the messages received blurry. I was
involved in a text conversation with my brothers relating messages I’d received
from messenger from my cousins –
trying to correct what I’d transcribed
before sending it. I was an emotional
wreck. I wish I knew better than I do.
