My brother no longer posts to his blog but has left MANY detailed posts on his facebook page. Yesterday was a tribute to mom and some to himself for the grief of her loss. He said he’d almost forgotten that it was 13 years ago yesterday. His final note (after providing a detailed account of her final stages of life) was “hearts and wounds heal with time and that life continues moving forward”.
Am I a terrible person for forgetting
when she died? She passed the day after
Richard and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. We were married two days prior to the bombing
of the twin towers in New York – a day when our nation seemed to pull together
to show their support. A time when Rudy Giuliani
cared about his city and seemed to be loved and respected.
Having mom pass was disheartening, but
I don’t think as disheartening as having her forget. Having her mind in a different world apart
from our own reality. I remember that
first week after we had checked her in. I remember watching a health-care
worker spoon feeding one of the residents – the way one would a toddler in a
high chair. I was saddened by the sight
thinking my mom would be in that position one day. But she wasn’t. She passed before going through all the
stages. I was glad of that. I was happy to not have to see her being
spoon fed. I wasn’t happy that she had
passed – but we had all lost her long before then. Dementia had robbed us all.
Three anniversaries in a row. A great one for me and Richard. A mixed-emotion one for my family. A devastating one for the nation – though we do have a few positive results – the overall reasoning is just so heartbreaking.
