CBQ#84

  Who performs more random acts of kindness than anyone else you know?

 

        Jaime is always thoughtful of others.  The other day we went to Subway and she left a very generous tip.  She said she could tell at least one of the staff members was being trained and there were three splitting tips instead of just two.  She wanted them to each have the same amount.

        That is just one example.  There are more.  Lots more.

        It’s a quality I’m guessing she got from her dad.  He is often doing random acts of kindness – like sending out Labor Day Cards.  Who does that?

Big Brother is Watching

           Quite recently my brother became a target of what one may have considered a funny prank.  Something had landed on his head.  Something gross.  It had been delivered intentionally.  He had a nagging feeling to share with his manager what  had taken place figuring that nothing could be done.  He’d forgotten about the video cameras that surrounded the area. 

          Security was called and the culprit was caught.  The culprit had known he was wrong for his act of disgust.  Before he “delivered” his “gift” he had looked around to make certain that no one was watching.  Evidently he had no taken the cameras into consideration either.  Corey had the option to press charges but declined and never met his offender.  His boss had given him the option of going home to recuperate – which he did eventually.

          It wasn’t just the actions of having something gross land on his head at work that had bothered him.  It was so many experiences of his time in junior high (which he unfondly refers to as four years of hell;  his experience started in sixth grade and ended in 9^th) when he felt tormented and bullied by others.  Back in a day before personal computers and laptops and smartphones.  Back in a day when there was no other options offered for education such as doing school online.  Corey would have been quite comfortable with that.

          Today people capture moments with their cell phones or some other recording device to upload on YouTube. No longer just a security footage but public spectacle.  One may laugh at the perfect aim planted to Corey’s head while others may snark at those who find it funny.  How many perpetrators have been caught when their actions go viral? 

          It’s a different world now.  Why don’t we all make the best of it?  Live each moment as if we were on hidden camera.  

What is it we want to be remembered for?  I would hope for kindness.  It really doesn’t take a lot.  A smile.  An encouraging word.  Be a friend.

Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these . . .

 

On May 21^st Joh and Corey had discovered another stray in their yard and like before (see here) they took it upon themselves to feed the neglected tom and nurse it back to health. 

Corey and Joh’s first miracle cat had shown up on the 25^th – the day they had scheduled for their new stray, Jasper to see the vet.  On the 31^st Corey wrote:

“With the collar that Joh gave him, his shaved fur, and having our home as his temporary abode, it makes me cry because he's been given back some of the dignity a cruel world took away from him and, of course, he's got love and caring now, too. Don't we all deserve that?”

Jasper in May

On May 31 Joh had proposed the question: "If Jasper was a human being, what do you think his life was?"

And on June 3 (a year after Joh’s mom had passed) Corey wrote that: “Jasper represents a hope for a different outcome”.

I’ve enjoyed the updates that are posted and have so much admiration for the compassion and the willingness to give.  Yesterday I read this post and asked Corey’s permission to post it to my blog:

“When I was in Sydney, Australia with [Joh], I saw a homeless man whose figure felt so tragic, I wanted to capture it because it was such a haunting and sad image to me. I really second-guessed whether I should do so because it felt cruel of me to take a photo of this man's misery like some sort of exploitative tourist. But there was something pathetic, and yet also filling me with a sense of compassion, about the man's posture, that I wanted to safeguard the image as a reminder to me that there are people in low places in life, and it behooves us to stand up and take notice and help each other, if we can.

photo courtesy of Corey

“All I could do that day was put some money in the man's outstretched cup, but I really wanted to somehow do more, yet felt powerless and helpless to make any sort of real difference.

“As [Joh] and I were talking about Jasper this evening, we remarked how it feels like he wants to be loved and held and pet, but still is a bit guarded in doing so, as if the world has so abused him and tossed him aside, that it is a challenge for him to trust and learn to love again.

“Clearly, he trusts us and is affectionate with us. He eagerly greets us and rubs against our legs and allows us to pet, scratch, and hold him. But there is always an underlying tension—a fear, maybe—a posture that he holds that indicates that he is scared this feeling of comfort, love, and security won't last. I wondered yesterday if when we took him to the vet, he thought we were getting rid of him.

“I do not know what traumas this little guy has faced, but I know he has, and it is, of course, taking time for him to adjust to a life that is different than the one he had. And as [Joh] and I talked, we discussed the parallels of foster kids or recovering addicts or war veterans or anybody, really, who has experienced trauma or betrayals or disappointments and is trying to heal.

“I wish at times that we could really see into each other's hearts and intimately know the burdens and pains that make us who we are and how we act. I think if we could see deeply into each other's souls, we would be more compassionate, patient, and understanding with one another.

“This picture [four paragraphs above] reminds me that we are all of worth and that sometimes circumstances put our fellow human beings in unfortunate places, but that if we have the means, opportunity, and prompting to lend a hand or a kind word, we should.

“I have never shared this photo with anyone until tonight. Not even [Joh] had seen it until this evening. But I share it with you with the hope that when you or I see someone who is in need, whether in large ways or small, that if we have the ability to help, we should.”

The coat that currently covers Jasper's misshapen body

Mask Wars

    

                          purcaholic.tumblr.com

           Cory mentions the facebook post of a friend who addressed concerns about “shaming people” into not agreeing with individual choices.  Some people are designed to be social even though others may feel comfortable with staying at home.  Some people feel the need to open non-essential employment in oeder to make a living.  At the same time there are many employed front-line workers who would gladly trade places with the unemployed in order to get a break.  There are valid reasons that others have for social distancing or choosing not to.  There are valid reasons for choosing to stay at home.  There are those who believe wearing a mask is connected with saving lives. Mask wearers may feel annoyed with ones who don’t.  And yet not all of these non-mask wearers are selfish, self-centered or ignorant.  Many of them view the mask wearers as the ones who are ignorant and self-absorbed. 

          Another post gave an example of ignorance with safety issues expressing the inhumanity of others who are so busy with their masks and social distancing that they overlook others who may needs assistance – such as elderly people at a supermarket who may not be steady on their feet, lose their balance and fall.  Does anybody rescue the one who falls?  Is the rescuer wearing a mask or not?  It doesn’t seem possible to help an individual to his/her feet while maintaining social distancing.  When we attempt to follow the law to the letter, we often forget about our fellow beings.  Aren’t they more important?  We can’t just blindly wear our mask and look away.  What would Jesus do?  I think he’d wear a mask, but he would also come to the rescue of whoever needs it – social distancing or not.

           A quote from her post says: “You cannot continue to harden your heart to the peple around you, just so you feel a little safer today.  Because that safety is a fallacy.”

 She closed her post with quotes from scriptures as a simple reminder of where our priorities should be. 

dailyverses.net

 

thedome.org

dailyverses.net

        I love this quote from one of my brother’s posts:  “Compassion is a key, not just for the people we are trying to protect and save from the virus, but also for the ones we don’t understand and who may require saving from other insidious difficulties. . . . when I make assumptions or judgments about [other people] perhaps it is me who is being unkind and self-centered.”

from spirit science quotes

How Amazing It is When You Put Others First

I’ve been watching the Daily Social Distancing Show because Trevor Noah makes the news entertaining because the news by itself really isn’t.  After watching this segment, I am shaking my head.  Does the guy who filmed the Costco employee truly believe that the sun rises and sets just for him?  Does think he is immune to driving 100 mph on the wrong side of the road?  Does he think not taking  others into consideration is okay?  Because, heaven forbid, someone site him or jail him for reckless driving, does that mean he they have taken away his freedom?  No.  He is still free to make dumb choices.  But he can’t expect the consequences to work in his favor.  

 

If I go somewhere in which a policy is enforced, I can choose to abide by what is expected of me or I can choose to avoid said place because I don’t wish to abide by their policy.  In this case Costco has required each of their customers to wear masks and distant themselves.  It’s a precaution.  If this fellow doesn’t wish to wear a mask that is his free right, but he will have to shop somewhere else.  It’s not as though Costco is in business solely to cater to him or his kind.  Just don’t shop at Costco if you’re not willing to wear a mask.  Not that hard.

I also wonder if this Costco employee now has to worry as to whether his life may be in jeopardy or not.  Not from the coronavirus, mind you, but from the wacked customer who has the freedom to bear arms.  After all, he would be able to use his free agency to harm the employee.  Am I right?  He could shoot him dead.  But then what, I ask, are the freedoms of those who get shot by those who are “free” to bear arms. 

I am reminded of the many times that Mormons (or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) have been accused of giving up their freedoms as the commandments seem so restricting. We are free when we keep the commandments.  Let me use the Word of Wisdom (here) as an example as it seems to be a great concern for those outside of the faith.  

 Though the revelation was given in 1832 long before scientists also agreed (but hey, who in the USA can even trust scientists anymore – after all Trump doesn’t seem to.  Thank God there are people who realize not all Americans think like Trump does) basically a health code of dos and don’ts that help us keep our bodies and minds in good condition.  Because we chose to follow the commandment we are free.  We are not slave to addictions as some people have.

Same with the laws of the land.  Okay, perhaps there are some laws that seem insane, but for the most part they are there for the protection of the people.  Rules at school don’t just apply to academic learning but also to the environment to keep children safe and give them a sense of respect. 

 

 All of us need respect regardless of our position.  I am grateful to those who pick up my garbage each week so that I no longer have to deal with it.  I am grateful to those who volunteer their time and their services to so many individuals who are not in good health or unable to do for themselves.  I am grateful to farmers who grow food and for truck drivers who deliver their goods.  I am grateful to educational instructors who seem to be putting in a lot more hours than they did when the schools were open.  Nobody on this planet is getting paid what he or she is worth.

 Some people complain that politicians are overpaid. Are you kidding me?  It does not seem to matter what decision is made lately, not everybody will be in favor.  How well do these leaders sleep at night if at all.  This nightmare is happening to ALL of us.  Not just the so-called “sheep”.  Not just the ignorant.  Not just the entertainers.  Not just the unemployed.  Those that are employed are fighting a virus far worse than COVID.  It’s called ignorance.  It’s called lack of gratitude.  It’s called poor human behavior.  Talk about being childish.  Geesh!  Did that many people not learn even one thing from history?

 In this same segment, Trevor Noah goes on to interview Jose Antonio Vargas – an “undocumented” immigrant.  These are real people who, believe it or not, help to keep the economics of this county running. Respect.  Reaching out to or showing one kindness should take less effort than wearing a mask.  So let us band  together and uplift one another instead of pointing fingers or getting upset or consumed with hate.  It’s not healthy!

 

Treat Others With Respect

     I started my blog on New Year's 2012.  My goal was to create a new post for each day.  My goal was to keep them positive.  For the most part, I think they were.  It appears that I had been faithful about blogging each day for the first few months, and then it tapered off into at least 20 posts, but by summer it was less.  I had a great excuse though.  Jenna was home from school and I needed to spend time with her and not on the computer.

        December came and I was once again going to post every day.  All of my posts would center around Christmas.  I didn't want to be so cold as to not acknowledge the shootings on the 14th at Sandy Hooks elementary in Newton Connecticut.  Innocent children . . .

        I did not mention any other shootings . . . my blog had somehow turned into thoughts on dementia, assisted living, transportation and weather . . . it isn't because I didn't feel or grieve.  I feel sad, I feel anger - my emotions are not different from any other.  I wasn't trying to avoid the topic by not mentioning what has happened - way too many times.  I haven't felt my words on the subject would be of any comfort or interest or have relevance.

        Two years before the shootings happened in Las Vegas, I heard about the shootings that happed at Umpqua Community College.  We were still new to the area.  I had such a great respect for our community at that time as it appeared the entire county had pulled together during this tragic event.  Two years later (both took place October 1st) I am reading facebook posts from both Corey and Joh that they are alright.  Oh, but I fail to mention Orlando and all the other shootings (Trevor Noah, here, says there's been over 20 in just the last two years) . . . what is wrong with us?           

        As I was reading the summary of Bonnie Oscarson's talk (found here)  she says "we are touched when we see the suffering and great needs to those halfway around the world, but we may fail to see there is a person who needs or friendship siting right next to us in class?"  Actually, I think that was the theme of conference as it was mentioned in several other talks in all six meetings.

        I cannot say if all  the shooters have been bullied - though I think it's a safe guess.  What evidence have been researched into these people's backgrounds?  What is it that they have in common?  Were they mistreated by others until one day they just snapped?  We don't even know why they did it as they ended up turning the gun on themselves.  The police make speculations.  The media makes speculations.  I'm making the speculation that each of these men (or boys) had been mistreated by others. 

        Be kind to others.  Treat people as you would want to be treated.  Make time to understand if not to love.  Treat people decent.

        Remember the poem  "Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me?"  What idealist thought that up?  Name calling and disrespect hurt people all the time.  How many innocent people were shot at because somebody snapped - possibly because they hadn't been treated kindly by another.  Think about it.