Friday, August 26, 2016

You Can't Change Others - You Can Only Change You

            When my sister brought her family to Oregon for a visit, she also brought a box that I had left in the shed back in Kearns.  In the box were several photos - some that had already been scanned; some were not.  I decided to scan most  of them and post them to facebook.

            I had found Pamprin (here) on facebook a while ago.  I have clicked on her profile just to see updated photos and have shared them with Jenna and Roland.  

            When I started clicking on photos that included Pamprin, her name came up to tag.  That seems weird as we don't seem to have any mutual friends. But then again, she is the only one in there. I thought that it might be a blessing and that perhaps she or her sibs would feel the desire to reconnect.  However, when I went back to tag some untagged photos, I noticed her name had been removed from all the photos.  So here are my theories:

            A.  Pamprin has no desire to be a part of the family.  She removed all of my tags and prevented me from tagging any pictures of her in the future.  I wasn't trying to stir up ill feelings.  I was really hoping to make a connection between her and her sibs.  But apparently, the feeling is not mutual.  

            B. She deleted them to prevent her mom from seeing them, thus preventing confrontation with one who is psychologically messed up.

            C. She never got to see the photos as she and her mom share the same computer and her account was still up when her mom got onto the computer and deleted all tagged photos.  

            D. Granted, some of them were not the most flattering photos.  Pamprin seems weight conscience.  I know she hasn't had the best eating habits in the past, but she is also big-boned.  I don't know of any diet plan that can produce weight loss in bones.  Perhaps she was embarrassed by the photos.

            Whatever the reason, I'm sorry about our situation.  It would be nice if Jenna and brothers got to know their sisters.  At this point, I don't even think the boys care anymore.  Tony never send Pamprin a friend request because of Maleficent's  piercing eyes and constant interference. Maybe some things are  better left alone.

            I remember  I once had a family history teacher that found her sister after years of searching.  Both had grown up in foster care (obviously separated from one another) and the woman she had found had discarded her past - or so she had hoped.  So while my friend had searched for a connection and finally found one - the person on the other end turned all her hard work into a dead end.  If someone doesn't wish to be contacted, what do you do?

            At least Pamprin did not make the request for me to remove all of her photos from my wall.  Nor has she blocked me from viewing her account (at least not yet). I am  unwilling to remove some photos as she's still a part of Jenna and their brother's past.
            We can't change the past.  We can learn from it, treasure it, try to escape it, or just deal with it.  I hope that one day the issues at hand may be resolved and new discoveries can be made.

1 comment:

  1. New theory: Pamprin is an alto in the Village Presbyterian Church. Perhaps she no longer wishes to associate with Mormons.