Roland and his boss purchased some
property years ago – the idea was to flip the house, make money – but the
location of it all became a great nightmare for all of us. I referred to the project as “The Nightmare
on Oak Street”
At the time I referred to Roland as
the Big Red Hen because of his attempts to involve our three boys in his house
fixing project. Meanwhile, I was
attempting to get them to help me around the house that we actually lived
in. I was not as aggressive as Roland
and had a toddler who wore me out.
Though the sharing this story with the
boys did not produce the results we were hoping for, Jenna is totally amused
with hearing it today – and thought I should share it on my blog. So here goes:
The story of the
Big Red Hen and
the Tired Blue Cat
“Who will help me clean a
house?” asked the Big Red Hen.
‘I’ll go,” said the Tired
Blue Cat, “but I’ll need to find a sitter for my sunshine.”
They worked along side a
Friendly Orange Rooster. There were items
that were heavy, lots of hazardous waste, lots of dirt. The Tired Blue Cat
didn’t feel like she was pulling her weight because the Big Red Hen and the
Friendly Orange Rooster were both so much stronger.
“Who will help me clean a
house?” the Big Red Hen asked again.
“Not I,” said the Pumped Up
Tiger. “I’ve made plans to go to the
gym. Today’s the day that I build the muscles in my chest.”
“Not I,” said the Free
Loading Chipmunk. “I’m going to be hanging out with my friend, Mikey.”
“Oh, I would if I could,”
said the Lazy Con Monkey, “but I have to clean my already immaculate room. Why
can’t the tiger or the chipmunk do it?”
The Big Red Hen did not
accept their lame excuses and dragged them to the house kicking and screaming..
The tiger and the chipmunk complained the entire time.
The monkey believed he had
found rare treasures and constantly asked, “Can I have this? Can I have that?”
For the most part neither the Rooster nor the Hen cared what the Monkey took.
“Who will do the dishes and
mop the floor?” asked the Tired Blue Cat.
“Not I,” said the Pumped Up
Tiger. “I’ve made plans to go to the
gym. Today’s the day that I build the muscles in my legs.”
“Not I,” said the Free
Loading Chipmunk. “I’ve done them the last two nights. I need some new shoes”
“I already vacuumed and did
the bathroom and took out the garbage and washed a load of towels,” said the
Lazy Con Monkey. “Why can’t the tiger or the chipmunk do it?”
“Who will help me tear down some
walls in the house?” asked the Big Red Hen.
“Not I,” said the Pumped Up Tiger. “I’ve made
plans to go to the gym. Today’s the day that I build the muscles in my arms.”
“Not I,” said the Free Loading Chipmunk. “I
feel like drawing something. I need some new markers”
“Oh, I would if I could,”
said the Lazy Con Monkey, “But I have to fix my bike”
The Big Red Hen did not
accept their lame excuses and dragged them to the house kicking and screaming..
The monkey and the chipmunk complained the entire time. The tiger learned that
wrecking walls was pretty fun and he was still getting a workout in his arms.
“Who will pick up all the
towels off the laundry room floor?”
asked the Tired Blue Cat
“Not I,” said the Pumped Up
Tiger. “I did three towels last week with my personal laundry which is still on
top of the dryer”
“Not I,” said the Free
Loading Chipmunk. “I have too much homework. I need a new binder.”
“Not I,” said the Lazy Con
Monkey. “I left my bike over at Stephano’s house and I was just leaving to go
and get it. Why can’t the tiger or the chipmunk do it?”
“All three of you should be
able to do it,.” said the Tired Blue Cat. “All three of you pass the laundry
room everyday – I would say at least four times a day.”
“Okay, I’ll do it,” whined
the Free Loading Chipmunk. And he did.
And he was still able to do his homework.
“Who will help me build the
house?” asked the Big Red Hen.
“Not I,” said the Pumped Up
Tiger. “I’ve made plans to go to the gym. Today’s the day that I build the
muscles in my back.”
“Not I,” said the Free Loading Chipmunk. “I’ve
got to run an additional 20 miles just for fun.”
“Oh, I would if I could,” said the Monkey,
“but I was just going to K-Mart to buy a patch kit so that I can fix my bike .
Why can’t the tiger or the chipmunk do it?”
“I’ll go,” said the Tired
Blue Cat, “but I’ll need to find a sitter for my sunshine.”
And so the Big Hen took the
Blue Cat. Once again the Blue Cat felt
like she wasn’t pulling her weight and soon had to leave when she heard her
sunshine was acting up. And so the Big Red Hen and the Friendly Orange Rooster
started to build.
“Who will clean the tub?”
asked the Tired Blue Cat.
“Not I,” said the Pumped Up
Tiger. “I’ve made plans to go to the gym. Today’s the day that I build the
muscles in my abs”
“Not I,” said the Free
Loading Chipmunk. “My legs hurt. Do we have any ebsom salt?”
“Not
I.
“Who will help me mow the lawn?” asked the Big
Red Hen.
“Not I,” said the Pumped Up
Tiger. “I have to go mow somebody else’s lawn”
“What do you intend to use as
a lawn mower?” asked the Big Red
Hen.
“Well couldn’t you let me use
the lawn mower to mow my yard before you do the yard at your house?” asked the
Pumped Up Tiger.
“Why didn’t you use the lawn
mower last night or yesterday afternoon?” asked the Big Red Hen who was quite
annoyed. He had worked his tail off the
day and night before and could not make the time to use the lawn mower. But the Pumped Up Tiger was not very good at
prioritizing his time could have made the time. But it’s not like he had a
great example to follow, either.
“Who will mop the floor?”
asked the Tired Blue Cat..
“Not I,” said the Pumped Up
Tiger. “I cleaned the counters and the table and finally got around to cleaning
the stove and the microwave which you asked me to do the other day; the Lazy
Monkey hasn’t done anything except for be lazy.”
She couldn’t ask the Chipmunk
as he was out of town – otherwise they probably would have gotten it done. The
Free Loading Chipmunk had actually done more chores than the Pumped Up Tiger
and Lazy Con Monkey put together.
“Oh, I would if I could,” said the Monkey,
“but I just dumped the garbage and I split my finger open where the stitches
were.”
“Why aren’t the dishes done?” the Tired Blue
Cat asked the Lazy Con Monkey.
“I’ve been cleaning the back
room!” he exclaimed. And he had. And he had done a wonderful job. The Tiger
had obviously not seen the back room.
“Who will help me paint the
house?” asked the Big Red Hen.
The Pumped Up Tiger did not
answer because he was at the gym.
“Not I,” said the Free
Loading Chipmunk. “I have too much homework.
And my legs hurt.”
“Oh, I would if I could,” said the Monkey,
“but I was just leaving to visit my friend Stephano; we are making a seat for
the dirt bike that I found.”
“I’ll go,” said the Tired
Blue Cat, “but I’ll need to find a sitter for my sunshine.”
But the Blue Cat could not
always find a sitter and so sometimes the Big Red Hen had to do it by
himself. Or sometimes the Rooster would
do it by himself. They couldn’t seem to get together at the same time anymore.
The tiger and chipmunk and
monkey (not to mention the Tired Blue Cat) all got to hate the house. And they especially hated it when the Big Red
Hen would order them to stay home so that they could work on the house. And sometimes they would spend hours waiting
for the Big Red Hen to pick them up – one might think that they would be able
to assist the Tired Blue Cat while they were waiting. And many times the Free Loading Chipmunk
would. He preferred staying with the
Tired Blue Cat and doing chores around her house than working at the Big Red
Hen’s house investment. The Lazy Con Monkey
also made that claim saying that he would rather do chores for the Tired Blue
Cat than go to the house with the Big Red Hen – but it was just talk as usual.
The monkey would always horn
in on whatever was being said to the tiger or the chipmunk – but seemed to have
a problem listening to whatever actually concerned him however. He was
notorious for asking “What about the Tiger?
What about the Chipmunk” What about the tiger and chipmunk? What about them?
The monkey had many
talents. He was a very quick learner. He
enjoyed building things. He was very creative about making things. And he was very charismatic and a very good
actor. He was also very cunning, enjoyed telling stupid jokes and was lazy
about labor and with his study habits. He actually had the potential for
becoming a politician.
None of the animals knew how
to prioritize. The free loading chipmunk
was willing to work for his money – unless Mikey called. The Blue Cat had given the chipmunk
permission to hang out with him So he didn’t think he was available to do one
more chore that the Big Red Hen had invented – mainly for the Monkey and
Tiger’s benefit. The Blue Cat was upset
about his lack of rationalization.
If the exotic bird from
Thailand had been living with the other animals in America, he would have gone
willingly and things would have gotten finished a lot quicker. But alas, he was
no longer in the states.
The Big Red Hen’s house
eventually got sold – and there was a small profit that was so not worth
the labor. The Tiger and Chipmunk and Monkey
have all grown up. The Chipmunk and
Monkey are both married and living in apartments. The Chipmunk now has a baby chipmunk of his own. The Tiger still spends much of his time at
the gym. He should really put care and
concern into keeping his room and house as clean and tidy as he tries to keep
his body.
The exotic bird has gone back
to Thiland and is now pursuing a career and relationship with a gorgeous
parakeet. Sunshine continues to
grow. There are many chores that she
enjoys doing – but several that she does not.
When the Big Red Hen or Tired Blue Cat (who by the way is not nearly as
tired anymore) remind her of something she doesn’t want to do, she whines and
often throws a tantrum. She seems to
complain more than did the Tiger, Chipmunk and Monkey combind. Hopefully it’s just
a stage.
kfralc
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