Dementia is a thief which robs the
mind and interferes with the souls of all associated. Last week mom was living in another world for
the most part. This weekend hit
hard. The way it’s been described to me,
it sounds like she lost was between worlds – panicked at not being able to
communicate. Just not getting a grasp on
anything. Being transported to another
dimension is bad enough – the “between worlds” thing is worse overall – at
least from my viewpoint.
Probably all of us, at some point in
our lives, have seen the child that just isn’t understanding direction and
becomes more and more frustrated with himself or the instructor or the other
kids or what have you. He throws a
tantrum and won’t allow himself to be rational.
And the harder we try to explain or understand, the more irrational the
child becomes. That is what the “between worlds” is like.
Even before the Dementia set in, mom
seemed to favor Corey over the rest of us – not that she meant to (or means to)
but it just seems that way. And now
with the dementia, it seems much of her world revolves around Corey who is able
to get her to do things (even over the phone from another state) than the rest
of us have. But evidently I became the
favored one on Saturday. She was in a
very confused place and couldn’t seem to get out of it.
Sunny had dropped off a small bag of
items that she wanted me to have. The
idea was for me to retrieve it from mom’s house on my next visit. But mom had it in her head that the bag needed
to be in my possession RIGHT NOW.
When she couldn’t get a hold of me by phone,
she decided that she would walk to my house.
One does not walk to my house from hers – not unless one wants to make a
day of it. (I's about 20 minutes by car in regular traffic) She’s been to my house twice
– but always with somebody. She didn’t
know where I lived before dementia robbed her of her memory. She doesn’t even recognize the city name when
I tell her.
But for convenience, her mind has
moved many into her neighborhood – often just up or down the street. As she left the house, my nephew-in-law
followed to make certain she didn’t get lost.
I don’t know if she ever found where she thought my house was. I’m thinking not.
Nate and Ellen had a dinner
appointment with my youngest son and his wife – but because of “grandma’s”
strange behavior, they didn’t want to leave her alone. And so Ellen called Sunny and told her about
“grandma’s” strange behavior and how she was a bit concerned and freaked out at
the idea of leaving her alone. And so
Sunny and her two youngest stayed with mom while Ellen and Nate went to
dinner. Sunny said my mom talked about
me and my visits and was very anxious about seeing me again but couldn’t get a
hold of me (mom had finally gotten a hold of me before Nate and Ellen had gone
to dinner; we had talked for a few minutes)
Her mind was still quite distorted the
next night when she called again. She
misdialed and had meant to call Corey, whom she thought was having car problems
and was quite worried about him. I knew
she was frantic and too far away to calm her down.
I called Corey to ask if mom was
worrying for nothing. He said he was on
his way home and would be to mom’s in about ten minutes. I called her back. She was so relieved – like the child who has
been missing her tangible security (a blanket, a toy) but finally gets it
back. I still wish I could have embraced
her in person and not just over the phone.
The thief took a vacation only a few
days this week – I had hoped for something more permanent, but knew that is all
it was. A HOPE. And I don’t know what makes her personality
change from visit to visit – the distorted mind last week, the turmoil and
frustration set in her own mind this weekend, and the still forgetful but
almost normal yesterday and the day before.
Even this afternoon over the phone – but not in person. The theif returned. Dementia hasn’t robbed only her – it’s taken
from all of us. I want dementia behind
bars PERMENANTLY!
No comments:
Post a Comment