Saturday, February 29, 2020

The Stupid Emotion Called Love



          When Jenna and I were both in middle school, we would roll our eyes over the dramatics of “couples” displaying affection and expressing emotion only to break up and express drama.  Gag.  Both of us were determined not to experience the stupid emotions ourselves – at least not in school.  Not middle school.  Not high school.  She had plans of “not ever”.  I succeeded with keeping my emotions in tact all through high school.  No love interests.  No broken hearts.  She, on the other hand, has had two "shedding tears" experiences.

          She and Nathan were friends, but he was starting to like her as more than a friend and told her so.  Things would have been perfectly fine if he hadn’t said anything.  They would have remained just friends and no stupid emotions would have entered the picture.  It was nerve racking in a way.  Why would he do that?  Why would he mess up a good friendship for something gross?  She was mortified in one way but yet flattered in the other.  She had barely turned 15 and did not want to commit to a relationship, but she did like Nathan.  Perhaps they could just hold hands and work up to something more after she had turned 16.  But that was quite a wait.

          Neither one of them wanted to call their first date a “date”.  It was just two people hanging out.  Yet it felt awkward for each of them as they knew there was the "more than just friends” label hanging over them.  Nathan broke it off just after the school let out for summer vacation.  It would have been fine if he had never said anything in the first place.  Jenna had not even wanted a relationship in the first place – and yet she became attached.  He had put thought into their “breaking up”.  He wanted to respect her religion.  He is a senior this year and she is a sophomore.  It isn’t like the relationship was going to last anyway.  But still it hurt.  It had been his idea and then he said he didn’t want to see her that way.  He should have just kept it all to himself to begin with and then she wouldn’t have felt the pain.  Stupid Love.


          I never understood this song until the “break-up” happened.  I felt bad.  I didn’t know what to do.  They go to the same school though she did not have any classes with him.  She and her friend still continue with a class that they had with Nathan last year – but he was not in the class anymore.  Not many guys were.  There is one they teased and were playing with his hair and another boy, Chris, asked why they weren’t playing with his hair.  So Jenna started playing with his hair.  They became fast friends.  They held hands in the hall – which according to high school terms qualifies as “dating”.  I don’t know that there was any “love” there.  Jenna and Chris had very little in common.

          They went to a school dance.  He came over for Thanksgiving.  They exchanged gifts at Christmas and Valentine’s Day.  Jenna got tired of participating in high school activities that he was obviously not interested in.  After Valentine’s she broke off things with Chris.  Ironically there had been more tears over Chris than there were for Nathan – whom she may not have shared much in common with either.  For one thing Jenna LOVES water.  Always has.  And Nathan is deathly afraid. 

          Chris did not react well to the “break-up”. Jenna is afraid that she has lost him as a friend and wishes she wouldn’t have said anything.  At the same time she didn’t wish to string him along.  It was quite obvious to me that they weren’t going anywhere.  I like both Chris and Nathan.  I hate the “heartbreak” thing.  I wish I was better at dealing with it.  When Jenna hurts, I hurt.  I hate the stupid emotions connected with Love.

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