Sunday, September 27, 2020

Virtual Hugs Just Don’t Cut It

         It was the third week of Church for the ward Im in.  My sister Kayla said her ward had returned last month or possibly in July.  She said that the members will attend every other week in order to allow social distancing.  I think thats great that there are that many in attendance as the last time I had gone to her ward the attendance seemed even less than what this ward has been a lot of empty pews and much social distancing even before it was a thing.

         Wearing a mask can be bothersome, but its not a tremendous sacrifice on my part nor am I too proud to wear one.  I appreciate surgeons and dentists wearing masks, all the frontline workers required to wear a mask all day.  Surely if they can do it for 4 10 hour shifts, a few minutes to a few hours shouldnt be a big deal for me.  The mask is not the problem.  Its not being able to connect in the way that we did pre-COVID.  Its a learning curve, I suppose.  Finding things that we may have been unaware of or had taken for granted.  I want to be to be fed but also assist in feeding  - which I do not.  It feels lonely like I am observing through plated glass and cannot break my way through.  But it isnt meant for me to break through and Im just having a hard time accepting it.

         We did have a testimony meeting today which was nice.  I enjoy hearing from those in the congregation especially as it has been almost seven months since our last testimony meeting.  Most talked about having opportunities and finding peace within the turmoil or stopping to appreciate what strengths were learned from the trials that weve had.

         One sister came up to me after the meeting.  The sparkle in my eye was obviously not there and she was concerned.  I just dont care for the distance thats been created.  I had smiled a couple of times during the meeting.  Apparently it hadnt reached or remained in my eyes.  I did pray that I would be spiritually fed and to a degree I was but still left feeling hungry as I had two weeks prior.  As of now I think Jenna and I will do just every other week.

         Im supposed to meet with the missionaries which I guess is every other Wednesday prior to or right after the Book of Mormon class. Jenna had been attending with the secretary for the Young Womens.  But YW is now the same day as Book of Mormon.  It used to be the same day as Relief Society but we no longer have activities and will meet once a month for lessons.  It will in mornings so our older sisters can participate.  Many cannot see to drive in the darkness. I cant see to drive in the dark. 

        I look forward to General Conference next week and hope my heart is more open than it has been.  I have been so wrapped up in emotions toward the direction the country has gone.  I struggle with thoughts I had when I had learned about this revelation in primary now turned into a reality that Im really not happy to be a part of. 

    When Jesus spoke in parables those who had the spirit with them were able to find the message that spoke to them.  The Pharisees, so set in their ways, did not recognize truth.  I am overwhelmed by how many Pharisees I encounter today.  I am shocked and I am saddened and have come to learn that I really don't know these people.  I pray that the members may be blessed as they prepare to vote in the elections that they will be open to whatever direction that God may lead us and may we always rely on him.

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