I did NOT Sleep Well This Morning

I fell asleep

on the couch

Roland left me there

12:30 a m

"Hi, Mom!"

Jenna is standing

across the  room

She then plops herself

on the couch

next to me.

"It's 12:30 in the morning!"

I say

not too nicely.

"Sorry."

She returns to her bed

I think

maybe I should get up

turn down the heat

I'm not really hot though

I am glued to the chair

I go back to sleep

1:30 a m

cats in the yard

they have woken me up before

The neighbor's dog is barking

Cats deserved to be barked at

Why are they doing it in our yard anyway

We certainly did not invite them

I think

maybe I should get up

turn down the heat

I'm not really hot though

I am glued to the chair

I go back to sleep

2:00 a m

neighbor's dog continues to bark

is there trouble outside

perhaps he's just cold

why do they have their dog outside anyway

I don't remember ever

having have heard him

disturb my sleep before

I do think that

he is a lonely dog

I think

maybe I should get up

turn down the heat

I'm not really hot though

I am glued to the chair

I go back to sleep

2:30 a m

covers off

I am boiling

I have to get up

I turn down the heat

and return to the couch.

I don't know how many more times

I got up

or for what reasons

Somehow I ended up

on the opposite side of the room

in my dream

For in real life

the only furniture

across the room

is a small book case

which I would break

in reality

if I were to sit

or lye on it.

But I can see Jenna

 sitting on the couch

I see the time on the clock

says 8:00 a m

which means she has missed

her bus

"Jenna!  Get your shoes on!"

In my dream

I'll have to drive her

In my dream

I have another engagement

It takes me too long to get dressed

"You'll have to ask

somebody else to drive you"

In real life

Roland is the only other person

But in my dream

are all three of her brothers

and my youngest brother

She can get a ride

with one of them

I am still getting dressed

when Roland returns

from taking her to school

In real life

I look at the clock again

It is 5:15 a m

It is almost time for Roland

to get up to go to work

I am so tired

but cannot return to sleep

until Jenna leaves

to go catch the bus

I need to wrap up

this post

and go fix breakfast

for Roland and Jenna

I will return to sleep

later on.

"Your husband is going to be late."

            A facebook friend had been sitting in heavy traffic.  He must have been bored out of his mind.  He actually made a comment on one of my posts - which in itself was out of the ordinary.  But the post was over four years old.  That's what really threw me.

            I had not even started my blog yet.  Jenna was taking a theatre class near my sister's house.  Our house was two hours north of the elementary school that Jenna attended, and Kayla's was two miles west.  On Wednesdays I would just drive to Kearns and park in my sister's driveway.  We would walk around the neighborhood and visit others until it was time to walk to the high school where she had her class.  But on that particular day, we had little time to spare before making our way to the high school.  Who knew that the heavy traffic between three and four would still exist (and actually worsen) three hours later causing the instructor to be late also.

            I had even considered calling her when it was 3:30 but chose not to believing the delays would be cleaned up by then.  I was wrong.  She contacted me after 7:00 because mine seemed to be the only student phone number that she had in her cell phone.  The class had decided to play a game of "duck duck goose" while they waited.  I had mentioned the accident before.  I reconfirmed it.

            The accident had happened on 5400 and 3200 W.  I'd been hit at that same intersection just six months earlier - but there hadn't been enough damage to cause a major back-up.  But there were major delays that night.  It didn't matter where in the city I happened to be driving or at what time.  Traffic was a bear.  It reminded me of a Friday.

            5400 is not the greatest street.  I have always hated it.  The decades has just made me hate the street even more - especially after all the "improvements" that were made. Dorky traffic lights and lane change lights that made me feel like I was driving in a video game.

            Evidently last night's traffic was a repeat (or worse) than what occurred on the night I asked the question on my facebook post "Does anyone know what happened?"  because generally when one is stuck in backed up traffic,  it is unknown why.

            A couple of friends responded that a collision took place involving three cars and that someone had been flight lifted.  Three cars were involved in last night's crash as well.  5400 - but further west of the high school.  I looked it up last night.  There really wasn't much to the story.  And I could only find one source.

            Meanwhile, I had called Kayla, who is a mother to three who are six and under and at least one was screaming.  It didn't seem like it was a good time for her to talk, but at least she understood why Bill might be late (or was late) getting home. 

            I really don't miss the traffic that I had to deal with in Salt Lake.  Thus far I have not seen much in the way of collisions or heavy traffic in Oregon - except in Portland.  But I am so far from Portland that the traffic there doesn't affect me.  Heavy traffic in Myrtle Creek has been eight cars behind the school bus.  I think a collision in Myrtle Creek would be embarrassing for those involved.

            Funny how somebody from Oregon was able to tell someone in Utah that her husband would be late due to slow and heavy traffic.  The wonders of modern technology. 

Operation Grandma Care

I belong to 8 different groups on facebook.  I think the first group I joined (or was invited to) was a neighborhood watch - which apparently is still on facebook - but with only 4 members.  I don't know if it's active or not.  I had actually thought the group had dissolved, but I haven't been in said neighborhood for several years now - nor am I currently living in the same state.

Every ward that I have lived in has had a page and I really like that.  I especially like it when  organized members send out reminders of upcoming activities.  I was disappointed that there was no such page on facebook for this ward.  Thus after 6 months and 12+ friends, I decided to create my own page. Slowly the ball starts rolling.

I have joined other groups that have either dissolved (due to changes on facebook or lack of interest)  or haven't gone according to the  group starters expectations.  I think the one I enjoy most is the one we keep to share memories of our family - mom in particular.  It is also the smallest group I belong to.

It started out as a page of necessity created by my nephew-in-law, Nate.  He and my niece, Ellen, were living with mom at the time.  Mom's dementia would cause her to take off without any evidence as to where she might be, or else she would get lost and take a direction even further from where she wanted to be.  Mom could not be left alone, and we were each given a schedule.  Facebook gave us a source in which we could communicate our concerns.

Nate had included six of us in the group: Nate, Ellen, Ellen's mother Sunny, my sister Kayla, my brother Corey and me. Nate had named the group "Operation Grandma Care".  Over the months others had been invited into the group - Corey's husband Joh, Kayla's husband Bill, and our friend Peggy who lived across the street from my mom. Shortly after we put mom into an assisted living facility, Nate chose to leave the group. But we continued to keep the group open as we still had concerns and needs to express ourselves as we would visit mom. We focused on positive as well as the not so pleasant.  It was really good for us to have that source.

After my mom passed away, there were some of us who just didn't want to see the page dissolve, although we didn't need to voice our concerns about how mom was behaving or what our concerns were with her and the fate of the facility.  Kayla had changed the name of the group to focus on memories of my mom rather than our care for her health.  She laughed at the name as there were eight members of the group and only one was an actual grandchild.  The majority of us call her "mom"

It is my favorite group because we sometimes share things that others hadn't known.  Corey will share pieces of information from her journal.  Kayla and I have both shared things not only about mom but dad as well.  Peggy has also shared information that we appreciate being able to hold onto.

I love reaching out and having positive reasons to stay on facebook.  It really has done great things for a lot of people.  I hope to have the same positive results with the RS ward page that I just started.  So far all the feedback I've received has been positive.  

Earth and Sky Reverso

In 2012 I was introduced to Reverso poetry (created by Marilyn Singer) when Jenna and I checked out a book from the library.  The book is called Mirror Mirror by Marilyn Singer. (also beautiful illustrations by Josee Masse)
 Here is another attempt I have made in creating my own reverso.  Read the left column from top to bottom before reading the right.  Enjoy.

Without a coat                                              After so much rain

to keep me warm,                                        through my windows,

through clouds                                              sun is shining.

the sun breaks.                                               Today is beautiful.     

Yesterday                                                       The clouds hang low

it was raining buckets.                                  over the mountain.

The earth is so full of moisture                       It must be raining

the water forms lakes on my lawn.              in the hills.

In the hills                                                        The water forms lakes on my lawn.

it must be raining.                                          The earth is so full of moisture.

Over the mountain                                        It was raining buckets

the clouds hang low.                                     yesterday.

Today is beautiful!                                          The sun breaks

Sun is shining                                                   through clouds

through my windows                                     to keep me warm

after so much rain.                                         without a coat.

Make Believe to Reality

Last week Jenna and I watched a documentary called "Make Believe" a 2011 film from executive producers Ed Cunningham and Seth Gordon. "Make Believe" follows the growth of six teenagers who study tricks to become magicians. 

I copied the following quotes from this website.  When asked about studying magic, Collider received the following answers.

From Derek McKee: It’s hard for people to understand magicians because you can’t show them what you’ve been working on. They can’t relate to it. Most kids pick up magic for maybe two or three days and realize that it’s a lot of work, so they can’t really relate to working five hours a day on one trick

and Bill KOCH (who now uses his professional name Bill Cook):  Unless you’re into magic, you don’t understand it. The people that are into it for two weeks because they got a book from the library and bought a magic set, don’t realize that there’s theater involved, there’s scripting and there’s choreography. Standing on stage in front of people, if you pace or sway, you’ll make the audience dizzy. There is so much involved with just going out there and doing a stage illusion or a close-up trick. There’s choreography to walking around tables, so that the effect can manifest properly.

And while Jenna and I were impressed with each story on Krystyn Lambert, Bill Koch Siphiwe Fangase, Nkumbozo Nkonyana and Derek McKee, but the one that impressed us most was Hiroki Hara from a small village in Japan - where there is no cell phone or Internet service.  But Hiroki's family did have a VCR.  He had a recording of a magic show that he would watch over and over and study in slow motion and had taught himself how to do magic and would read books and magazine articles. 

All of the other five had some kind of mentor, but not Hiroki - he basically was alone with his studies and his decisions.  I believe he financed himself to come to the states to participate at the Magic Castle in California.

 

While we appreciated the talent of each of the performers and were intrigued by each of their journeys, we were most in awe of Hiroki - who I think is another great example of thinking positive and pursuing one's dreams.  I think they ought to have his story in Chicken Soup - and maybe they do.  I just haven't read it yet.

 

Positive Thinking.  Turning dreams into reality.  Entertaining is not an easy profession.  Nor is the time that is put into performing necessarily appreciated by those who are entertained.

I remember one time when my brother, Corey, was performing on stage, someone had asked him if he had a real job.  Well, yes.  Those who perform well put several hours into their performance.  Possibly more hours than attorneys may spend on any given case.  Performing IS definitely a real job - but most people can't relate to it being a real job.  But it is.

Thank you to all those who choose to entertain and devote so much of their time that we may appreciate the performance 

SALT

Salt will wake up the flavor 

in an otherwise dreary dish.  

Only a little bit is needed.  

Most recipes call for salt - 

but not a huge measurement.  

It almost seems

 irrelevant at times.  And yet 

that small amount is 

very much needed. 

  The smallest amount 

of ingredient is 

needed the most.  

If salt is left out, 

  the quality is lost.  

The taste is flat.  

The tongue is dulled.  

Salt uplifts.  

Isn't that weird?

             

  We depend on salt to 

melt ice on roads 

and sidewalks . Surely 

not the same salt that 

we use at the table, 

but perhaps the same salt 

we use to make ice cream.  

I find that fascinating that 

salt has that ability.  

Salt will also destroy snails 

the same way that kryptonite 

would destroy Superman.  

Perhaps not the same way.  

I have seen a snail 

shrivel up to death.  

I have never seen 

Superman shrivel.  

I saw a witch melt 

when Dorothy accidentally

 threw water at her in 

"The Wizard of Oz"

 Utah has a location 

called The Bonneville 

Salt Flats.

 It is Utah's racing track, 

I guess.  I don't know 

what the attraction is at 

speeding over salt.  It looks like snow.

In Matthew 5:13, Jesus tells us

that we are the Salt 

of the earth

We can give of ourselves

even if only in small measure

we don't want to be 

too aggressive and

overpower the dish

but instead, we want to

help wake up the flavor,

help melt away the frozenness

and use our power against evil.

SALT

Think Positive

        One of the gifts that I opened on Christmas was the Chicken Soup for the Soul "Positive Thinking"  stories full of reminders not to give up and to do whatever it takes.

        As I read I think of examples from my own life:

        Karyn was agoraphobic.  Her son had gone to a mission in Brazil and had developed feelings for a certain young lady.  After he had gone back to visit, he announced that he and this girl would be getting married and living in Brazil for a while.  Knowing that he needed some support from the family, he wanted his parents there, of course. Karyn and her husband had enough money for only one plane ticket. And because of her fears of dealing with crowds, it was decided that her husband would go.

        His job seemed to complicate the situation as far as the date was concerned.  It turned out that if he wanted to keep his job, he would not be able to fly to Brazil but said that his wife might be able to go.

        The reservations were changed so that they would be in her name, and she prayed.  She prayed long and hard.  It was a mighty challenge as she had to deal with the public at Salt Lake airport.  Imagine how terrified she was to fly into Brazil and face a more crowded airport and a more people than she could imagine.  Not to mention that the majority of people there would be speaking in a foreign tongue that she, herself, would not understand.

        She, of course, tells her story much better than I do.  I remember listening to her experience, fascinated with her determination.  I would have never guessed that she was agoraphobic - especially to the point which she expressed.  Now that's positive thinking.  I hate crowds but cannot fully relate to what she had to overcome.  What strength.  What admiration on my part.

        I wish I had all the details in order to accurately share Shauna's story.  There was a huge number of widows and shut-ins that I would go visit at least weekly.  I would go to uplift them - or at least that was my intention.  But I always saved Shauna for last or visit when I was the one who needed to be uplifted.    

        She kept records and journals that she didn't want anyone to look at until after she was gone.  She was such a great inspiration.  Her story needs to be told.  I had always thought that someone should interview her for an article in the Ensign Magazine or tell her story in any one of several  themed "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books.

        I had been told that Shauna had outlived her disease by 17 years.  I don't remember the name of the disease, but it seems to me that the tissues would swell to the point of choking out all of her other organs.  We were roughly the same age, and yet she was hooked up to oxygen while I was breathing on my own.  She remained active as long as her body would allow. 

        She had such a positive attitude and would always get dressed, because "only sick people wear pajamas all day"

        I was also told that she hadn't gone back to get her nursing degree until after she had been diagnosed.  She wanted to help people and make them feel better, and served others for as long as she was able.

        Laughter truly was the best medicine.  It was what kept her going - in addition to refusing to allow anyone or anything to take her down.

I also let the words to this song fill my mind each day.  I asked Jenna to color a sign that says: Daily Proverbs.  I change the thought every other day and try hard to apply the quotes to my life.  I really am trying to think positive.  

Creative Advertising

I hope everyone has the opportunity of watching this video

Whether it's true or not, I don't know.  But I think it's an awesome idea either way.

How wonderful it would be if those in the video are caught.

How great it is for those who were robbed to use the crime to their advantage and use footage to advertise their tacos.  They really do look delicious.  Will have to try when I get back that way again.

Happy New Year 2016

            I grew up with the idea that families got together on New Years to play games.  It would often start on New Year's Eve at somebody's house.  We'd play games and have cheese and crackers and chips and soda.  That was always the greatest part about the new year.
           Mom always took the tree down on New Year's Day.  It was sad. But I have carried out that tradition of taking the tree down on New Years.  What else would I do?

            Although there was one year when Jenna insisted we put the tree up right after Thanksgiving.  I took it down on the 26th because it had been up entirely too long.  I think because it was taking up space in our cracker box house and everything always felt so clumped together with no elbow room even when it wasn't Christmas. 

            I have often either cried on New Year's (or New Year's eve) or someone in the family has been sick (in my childhood it was usually me and/or Corey - sometimes Kayla.  Never Patrick - except maybe before Corey and Kayla came along.  I do think he may have missed out on things when he was a very little kid - but over the years it didn't seem like a germ would dare enter Patrick's body while Corey received well more than his share.)

            More often than not, New Year's events took place in the freezing cold - well perhaps not the event itself, but riding to the event - especially on New Year's Eve.  I heard that it was 20 in Utah yesterday.  I don't know how many family members were sick.  Kayla stayed home with her youngest, BJ.  Biff told me that everyone in his household was sick.

            We heard fireworks going off last night.  Jenna watched them through her window as she said it was too cold to stand outside and watch.  When the sun drops out of the sky (or rather when the earth rotates away from the sun) the temperature does drop.  Last night was below freezing.

           We have space for Christmas tree in the house we live at in Oregon.  I think I could have left it up for a few more months.  Maybe not.  We have taken it down and returned it to the shed.

  

            The last day of 2015 was quite beautiful in Oregon - or at least where I am.  I thought it felt warmer than 40 degrees and took several pictures outside.  Most I was not even wearing a jacket for. 

Dec 31 2015

            Today is just as beautiful.  A great way to start off the New Year.  I took even more pictures this morning.  I don't remember having seen frost in Oregon before.  It was beautiful.  Is beautiful.  I was still in my pajamas when I took these.

sunlight spilling through our house New Year 2016

beautiful day Jan 1, 2016

            The sun has melted down a bit, but those blades of grass and foliage on the trees that are shaded from the sun still had frost clear into the evening.  It's definitely the longest amount of time that I have seen the same frost.

Our First Christmas in Oregon

            We weren't able to get back to Utah for a lack of funds.  Airfare is way overpriced (even at a senior discount) and Roland didn't have the same amount of time to take off work as Jenna currently has for school.

            It snowed in several parts of Salt Lake.  My sister and one of my sons both reported that there had been an endless snowfall and probably three feet of snow - though one had reported that the streets had been clear.  How awesome that there are those who give up pieces of their Christmas to make things safer for others.

            We woke up to find snow on the ground the morning of Christmas Eve.  The sun shone itself out.  It was really a beautiful day.  Not too hot.  Not too cold.  The air was an invite and in turn invited us to go be a part of it.

            Mostly wet yesterday.  The snow was gone.  All that was left was cold air and soggy earth.  Today is definitely foggier than I have ever seen in Oregon.  Unlike Salt Lake fog, the air is still breathable - and probably good for my sinuses actually.

            Several gifts placed under the tree - many of them were total surprises for Jenna.  They would have all been surprises if I had had Roland move the box from Jeanie and Biff into our room and just put the gifts out for Christmas morning.  Jenna also knew about the gifts that Rochelle and Tony had sent - but she didn't know about the packages from a former neighbor or my sister and her family. 

            I filmed Christmas in order to document everything that Jenna might have overlooked.  Fortunately nothing did.  She showed excitement for each gift that was opened.  I was quite pleased with her positive attitude.

            At 5:00 we started dinner.  We were expecting the missionaries to come at 6:00.  We weren't expecting them to stay and play games with us.  That was really awesome!  I have missed playing games with my family members.  Jenna and I do our best, and sometimes Roland joins us - but for the most part the majority of games we have require at least four people.  Some of the games I hadn't even brought with us because I didn't think we could play them. 

            It was a great Christmas gift to play games with the Elders.  Jenna thoroughly enjoyed herself.  We each made this the best Christmas possible.  I am quite happy with the results.

message for holiday wishes

   

 

        It is important to remember that not everyone is looking forward to Christmas. Some people are not surrounded by large wonderful families. Some of us have problems during the holidays and are overcome with great sadness when we remember the loved ones who are not with us. For many it is their first Christmas without a particular loved one and many others lost loved ones at Christmas. And, many people have no one to spend these times with and are shadowed by loneliness.

         My uncle's family will have their first Christmas without him.  He was buried just before we moved to Oregon.  It is harder still for families who lose their loved ones during the holiday season - to always have that memory around the holidays. We have seen present neighbors and some that we left in Utah just recently pass away.  We have seen hardships and we have seen those who choose to move on and celebrate the holidays as they always have.

         I'd like to share the words which my brother posted to facebook and mirror his message to all of those who may be reading (and even those who don't) :  " I hope and pray whatever your belief system may be, wherever you are in life, whatever circumstances or challenges you may find yourself facing, that you may find peace, happiness, and fulfillment; that is my Christmas wish to all of you."

Four Legged Angels

             I remember being in the congregation during a sacrament meeting in which a newly returned missionary was giving his homecoming talk. As he shared various experiences, he would explain why he felt the need to share.  I remember him saying that all missionaries have at least one dog story.

         “We do?” I had thought. 

         I must admit that I had missed his dog story as I had been thinking of my own.  One that actually brings a smile to my face each time I think about it.

         I was serving in an area where each door had been knocked on (weekly if not daily) by one religion or another.  It came to the point that people just didn’t want to open their doors as they felt they were being bullied by religious freaks.  We had actually been told to back off from going from door for at least a few months.  No sweat off my brow.  I hated that particular method of trying to find people, but I was with a companion who measured her missionary success by going from door-to-door.  

         Many members in that area referred to our companionship as “The Odd Couple” thus we named ourselves Oscar and Felix.  I was Oscar, and my high-maintenance, “by-the-book” companion was Felix.

         After two months of contacting members and searching for referrals in ways other than door-to-door, my companion counted down the days that we would go tracting door-to-door.  I did not share in her excitement.  I know there are people who have been found through knocking doors - but for me personally, it was not the greatest method and definitely did not measure my success (or failure) as a missionary.

         We had gone to only two houses before a German Shepherd started to follow us from one house to the next.  He would sit behind us and away from the door as we invited those who answered to listen to our message.  A few would look at the dog and ask if he was ours.  As we'd walk away from the skeptic who refused to believe the dog was ours, I'd make jokes just to get a rile out of my companion.

          "Yes, it is our dog and if you don't listen to our message, he'll eat you."

         My companion felt embarrassed and was a bit defensive as answered their concerns.

         “He’s not our dog.  He just started following us.  We don’t know why.”

         After four more houses or so, Sister Felix turned to me and said,  “Sister Cannon, we need to say a prayer so that the dog will stop following us.”

          I'm certain that the look that she saw on my face was one of puzzlement.  

          “Sister Felix, the dog could have been sent as a guardian angel.  If a prayer is offered, it won’t be in harmony, as the dog is not bothering me.  You go ahead and say a prayer if it makes you feel better.”

         Sister Felix offered a prayer and pleaded that Heavenly Father return the dog to his home.  No sooner did we say “amen” and we were joined by a Basset Hound – thus we had two dogs following us.  They weren’t doing anything wrong.  They seemed well behaved.  But it bothered her – which only amused me further. 

         We knocked on two more doors I think, and then Sister Felix became disgusted and announced that we may as well just return to our car, as we obviously weren’t going to get anything accomplished.  What? No more knocking door-to-door? I was right.  They were four-legged angels.