Change & Responsibility

          For many of us change is a difficult thing.  We change instructors each time we advance a grade in school.  Our insurance doesn’t allow for a certain expense and we change doctors as a result.  Death always creates change.  We must deal with the void in our lives.  Some do this gracefully.  Others may complain.

          Often, we are asked to accept responsibilities that we certainly hadn’t stood in line for. Some of the responsibilities accepted force us to grow in ways that we may have not otherwise understood.  Take my brother, Corey, and cousin, Michelle for example.  Both had been placed in situations regarding finances attached to an estate.  Corey took over what Patrick had been assigned to do initially.  We had all voted on it.  Patrick seemed the logical choice.  He could have easily cheated each of us out of our inheritance but we all knew that he would not. 

          The day came long before my mom passed.  Corey and Patrick had worked together – each having the power of attorney.  I don’t know that Patrick even wanted to be in that situation – even long before he was asked.  A long time ago - when we had put it to a vote.  I don’t think he voted for himself.  Corey was a teenage kid with little to no tolerance for math.  Patrick had been experiencing health problems and didn’t need the burden. When Corey took over he was obviously more prepared than he was when we had taken the vote.

          When Aunt Gertrude was in rehab we all told her that she would need to update her will.  She would have to give power of attorney to someone eventually.  She picked her two surviving nephews and finally gave in to finding an attorney.  I had heard her oldest nephew didn’t want the responsibility and passed it on to his youngest daughter – though it sounds like Michelle has picked up most of the pieces.  Aunt Gertrude Uncle Ted outlived all three of their nephews and a niece.  Aunt Gertrude outlived Uncle Ted.  He was 100 when he died two years ago.  Aunt Gertrude passed just this year.  She was 97.

          I know that at least three of my cousins have a hard time dealing with change.  When their father passed, it was very hard for them.  She has had to deal with quite a bit of change: Aunt Trudy’s deteriorating mind and physical condition, Uncle Ted’s health, his death, Aunt Trudy’s death . . . I think the experience has made her a stronger person. 

          We all have trials that can make us strong if we allow.  Change doesn’t have to be a horrible thing.  It’s all a matter of perspective.