About four months ago I posted this about my hang-ups
with facebook. One commenter lovingly
chastised me by sharing what she LIKES about facebook.
I must admit, since then, I have checked
it more often. One reason is because of
mom’s health and trying to keep all of those involved with her health care on
the same page, one member created a private site for us to each update and
view. I notice we’re still not always on
the same page however.
Facebook also gives one the opportunity to
find acquaintances from the past and possibly make a connection. Google can do
that, too. But not resources apply – or
are personalized in the same way in which some face users allow. And so the story unfolds:
Erin, Fran, mom and Sally were friends in
San Francisco. The first three all ended
up in Utah after they were married.
Recently I had lunch with Fran and my
mom. Fran asked mom if she still heard
from Erin. She used to send Christmas
cards out each year. Turned out that neither one of them had remembered hearing
from their long time friend since she remarried. They wondered whatever became of their friend
Erin.
I remembered seeing the announcement
several years ago – though I don’t recall her new last name. Nor do I recall the first name of the groom. The
last time I had seen her was a long while prior to that – at her husband’s
funeral.
She had five daughters. Of course there was the brief introduction to
all five at the funeral. Before that I
had met only three of them – Addison, Diane and Heidi. Heidi was only three at the time.
Out of the blue, I typed in each of their
names on facebook. Heidi’s name was the
only one that came up under her maiden name.
It could be her (Like I would really remember what she looks like) but I
do know the name of the high school she attended. I noticed several of her “friends” had her
mother’s maiden name. Surely, it had to
be her. But would she be willing to read
a message from a stranger? I didn’t
believe that my name would even mean anything to her.
I sent the same message to one of Heidi’s
sisters (whom I discovered on Heidi’s profile) and one to someone I supposed to
be Erin’s brother – but I don’t know. I
let a few weeks pass before I figured out that my messages had been typed in
vain. (Facebook now monitors all
messages and it appears that unless you are in the friends’ circle or at least
maybe friends with someone who is, the message won’t appear in the box of the
receiver – so really, what is the point of giving us that option?)
After two weeks, I once again attempted to
find more current info for Erin. I found
her late husband’s obituary. Oh, that
would be helpful. I learned the married
names of four of her daughters (though it appears that Heidi has been remarried
since then) and realized that I’d been spelling Addison’s name
incorrectly.
I found her on facebook and requested a
friendship (not that I’m really requesting a friendship but she may not get my
typed message otherwise; fb actually used to give that option when one made a
friend request) and also learned of her current city and where she works and
looked them up in the phone directory and learned that there is an Erin who is
staying in the same household.
Erin K. Brimley. That could be her most recent married
name. I can’t remember. She may be in a situation similar to mom’s
and Addison is taking care of her. I
don’t know. I may never know. I did send a Christmas card to the address I
found.
I passed what information I did have onto
Fran. I don’t know what may result from
it. But at least it’s there. And perhaps, down the road, we may have more. Hopefully it’s been a bit helpful for
Fran. It’s gotten me excited.
