About four months ago I posted this about my hang-ups with facebook. One commenter lovingly chastised me by sharing what she LIKES about facebook.
I must admit, since then, I have checked it more often. One reason is because of mom’s health and trying to keep all of those involved with her health care on the same page, one member created a private site for us to each update and view. I notice we’re still not always on the same page however.
Facebook also gives one the opportunity to find acquaintances from the past and possibly make a connection. Google can do that, too. But not resources apply – or are personalized in the same way in which some face users allow. And so the story unfolds:
Erin, Fran, mom and Sally were friends in San Francisco. The first three all ended up in Utah after they were married.
Recently I had lunch with Fran and my mom. Fran asked mom if she still heard from Erin. She used to send Christmas cards out each year. Turned out that neither one of them had remembered hearing from their long time friend since she remarried. They wondered whatever became of their friend Erin.
I remembered seeing the announcement several years ago – though I don’t recall her new last name. Nor do I recall the first name of the groom. The last time I had seen her was a long while prior to that – at her husband’s funeral.
She had five daughters. Of course there was the brief introduction to all five at the funeral. Before that I had met only three of them – Addison, Diane and Heidi. Heidi was only three at the time.
Out of the blue, I typed in each of their names on facebook. Heidi’s name was the only one that came up under her maiden name. It could be her (Like I would really remember what she looks like) but I do know the name of the high school she attended. I noticed several of her “friends” had her mother’s maiden name. Surely, it had to be her. But would she be willing to read a message from a stranger? I didn’t believe that my name would even mean anything to her.
I sent the same message to one of Heidi’s sisters (whom I discovered on Heidi’s profile) and one to someone I supposed to be Erin’s brother – but I don’t know. I let a few weeks pass before I figured out that my messages had been typed in vain. (Facebook now monitors all messages and it appears that unless you are in the friends’ circle or at least maybe friends with someone who is, the message won’t appear in the box of the receiver – so really, what is the point of giving us that option?)
After two weeks, I once again attempted to find more current info for Erin. I found her late husband’s obituary. Oh, that would be helpful. I learned the married names of four of her daughters (though it appears that Heidi has been remarried since then) and realized that I’d been spelling Addison’s name incorrectly.
I found her on facebook and requested a friendship (not that I’m really requesting a friendship but she may not get my typed message otherwise; fb actually used to give that option when one made a friend request) and also learned of her current city and where she works and looked them up in the phone directory and learned that there is an Erin who is staying in the same household.
Erin K. Brimley. That could be her most recent married name. I can’t remember. She may be in a situation similar to mom’s and Addison is taking care of her. I don’t know. I may never know. I did send a Christmas card to the address I found.
I passed what information I did have onto Fran. I don’t know what may result from it. But at least it’s there. And perhaps, down the road, we may have more. Hopefully it’s been a bit helpful for Fran. It’s gotten me excited.