Mystery Solved . . . or at least Somewhat Satisfied

Amongst mom’s journals are more photos of – who are these people?

Corey scanned the photos he had come across and emailed them to me asking if I might possible be able to identify any of members.  We didn’t actually know if they were photos from our family or my mom’s stepfather and the only grandpa that we ever knew.

Uncle Bruce said he’d be coming to town to visit mom. I wasn’t certain what month he would arrive but said he could come to the Memorial Day BBQ if he happened to be in town at that time.  It wasn’t until we were at the BBQ that I learned he had initially thought he’d come in June, but changed plans for the BBQ.

I had told Corey to bring the photos to the BBQ and ask Uncle Bruce about them – as he might be the only one with some clue – though Bruce doesn’t seem like the sentimental type – not at all.  Nor does he really know his dad or his dad’s side of the family – which is where it was decided that most of the photos were from.  It was mom who provided the names and BJ would nod and say, “Yea, that could be . . .”

Even Roland was able to participate with his uniform knowledge.  As Grandpa Bruce and his brothers had all joined the navy, it was decided that Marine belonged to another family.

Patrick made jokes to lighten the mood (as he always does) and I appreciate his humor.  Even Corey has picked up a little of that.

Sadly mom did not even recognize her own brother.  She would ask what his name was before.  He’d been named after their father Bruce James Purdy – who was against having a Junior.  So they named their last son Bruce J. Purdy.  Always an initial – never a full name.  He had always gone by Bruce, never BJ. Their mom and dad had divorced when he was just seven or eight – and so there never really was that confusion about “Which Bruce?” But mom just didn’t remember his name.

She remembers her brother who passed away recently.  She knows he’s deceased.  Right now she’s aware that he was a man when he passed away.  I thought her mind would somehow convince her that he had died at the age of two. It won’t surprise if she ever does think that.

Corey keyed in the names that mom had provided him – happy to have the information that really seems closer to accurate than any of the rest of us could provide.  Unfortunately there are two family lines that we really just don’t have much information for – the Purdy’s being one of them.

DownPour on My Birthday

I recall a few of my birthdays were cooler than normal – requiring a sweatshirt or summer jacket.  Never a rain slicker!  Not quite a monsoon but certainly not what I’ve grown accustomed to.  I can’t see to drive on the roads.  There’s not enough light.

          Corey and Joh offered to pay for new glasses – but I don’t know that a stronger prescription is really the answer.  The way the doctor explained it to me is that I have weird shaped eyes that just don’t seem to let in the right amount of light needed for me to see throughout each day.  I’m certain that I will go blind eventually. 

          Besides I’d rather have spent the money on shoes or new pants for Roland or something that seemed to take precedence for me.  And we have been blessed in major ways.

          On Saturday Jenna spent the day with her friend August.  When we pulled up in front of the driveway, we could see items being set up for a yard sale.  When the sale was over, the family loaded up a bag of clothes for Jenna.  Three pairs of shoes that appear as though they’ve never been worn. 

          And last night my youngest niece also sent us home with a bag of clothes and a box of shoes.  And I really have been needing shoes – so this is great!! 

          I think the majority of shoes are too big for Jenna, but she’s at the point where she likes wearing big shoes.  Her feet will eventually get bigger than mine.  And then her shoes will be big on me.

          This weather right now reminds me of a time twelve years ago, before Roland and I were married.  I had taken the boys to see my mom at the place where she was working.  At least two of them had their heads hanging out the window and made comments as though they were pirates or sailors fighting off a storm.

          There was also the many times that my family went on vacations – didn’t matter where.  We’d have rain.  We’d have car problems.  Often both.

          The wettest family vacation rain that I remember was the year dad drove us to southern California and enjoy Disneyland and Universal.  It poured the day we went to Universal. POURED!  And it is still one of my greatest memories.

          We had gone on a tour bus.  When the driver dropped us off, he told us that we had to be back by 5:00 pm or we would have to find another method of transportation back to our motel.

          Our experience was awesome.  No lines to wait in.  We got to see EVERYTHING.  Universal never sold so many raincoats and umbrellas on any given day.  As we did not bring rain gear and couldn’t afford six coats to wear, either mom or dad suggested garbage sacks and so we put them over our heads and cut holes for our faces. We spent the entire day going from exhibit to exhibit in our garbage sack ponchos.  It is a really great memory for me and Corey in particular.

          We returned to the bus at 4:30 – the last group of people to arrive.  It seemed that everyone else had been waiting on the bus for at least two hours and were a bit perturbed with us for taking so long.  Hey, we arrived a half hour earlier than the designated time.  And we definitely got our money’s worth.  It was fun!

A Little Romance . . .

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I went to Alpine Ridge where mom is staying.  I was surprised to see Harold sitting on her bed and visiting with her.  He was saying that he has six boys – while mom has only four children – two girls and two boys.  But she claims to have a lot more pictures than Harold.

I told her I had come to take her to a family dinner – but we had time to visit before we left.  Jenna’s eyes lit up when Harold mentioned Peanut Brittle.  He said he had been in a place before this one and they let him make peanut brittle in the microwave.  But one day the microwave started smoking and they never let him in the kitchen again.  And then he had to move.

Jenna absorbed it all – hanging on to his every word.  I decided that his mind works the same as mom’s and his time frame is different as well as some of his facts.  He said he wanted to take mom flying – not that he’s a pilot.  He wouldn’t be driving the plane, but would like to take mom up just the same.  He doesn’t know when, but it will be in Heber.  He asked me if that would be okay.  I said Sure.

Roland was coming straight from work, and I had asked him to meet us at Alpine Ridge so we could just take one car and return for the other when we brought mom back. He called from the parking lot when we arrived and asked us to come out.

So mom said her good-byes to me and Jenna. 

“But you’re going with us,” I said.

“But I have company.”

Fortunately Harold excused himself and said it was okay if she needed to go.  I reminded mom that her living brother would had come for a visit and would be joining us as well as Corey and Joh.  She was willing to leave Harold for Corey - afterall he is her favorite.

So Harold adjusted himself bent over his walker, and mom stood up and they kissed.  It was cute.  Reminded me of Jenna’s first day of Pre-school when she and Paul were holding hands.

I don’t think they’re more than just friends, but it was interesting to watch.

That's My Jenna

Her hair always seems to be disheveled at best

Doesn’t wish to hold barrettes or bows or curls

Usually she has hair hanging in her face

She is far from being one of those prissy girls

She’ll wear shoes just in order to climbs trees

Clothes don’t stay clean or well kept for long

She loves the outdoors, she loves to explore

She’s always been free-spirited and head-strong

Her favorite Princess is Brave’s Merida

Who is concerned with things more important than looks

She discovers as much as she can first handedly

And has many adventures through her books

I would like to say that she is one of a kind

But I see in her my own mirror to the past

When I was the one with the mussed up hair

Climbing trees and making adventures last

                                                                                                                           kfralc

Exploring is a Natural Part of Childhood Growth

Someone from the community garden had made the comment that each of our kids will look back to the days they went exploring and played while their parents worked in the garden.  Jenna has always found pleasure in farm equipment and likes to pretend she’s driving the broken down tractor, but she is especially enthralled when Parker comes to the garden with his parents.

Last Monday there were four of them who went exploring.  Jenna wore my garden hat, and it made for a cute picture – though I did not have my camera to capture the children as they prodded and poked through the trees.  Watching the four of them reminded me of my own youth when my brother, cousins and I would explore beyond Grandma Helen’s backyard and delighted in our adventures – well, at least two of us did.

Grandma’s house was located on a hill right behind the Salt Lake City capitol building.  I have the fondest memories of her house.  At the time, I did not realize that Grandma had designed the house – her dream house.  I don’t know if she described what she wanted and had somebody else draw the blue prints or if I misunderstood altogether – but I had heard that she designed it – though I do not know to what extent.

I think if I try to count how many rooms were in that house, I will forget a few as it’s been several years since Grandma left her house on the hill and moved into a condo that seemed more convenient as far as upkeep and being closer to where her boys lived.  I was the same age as Jenna is right now – so obviously your perception of life is a lot different at age nine than almost 51. 

I remember there was a door on every room and one to the hall and that if we shurt every door we could shine the projector on the wall and watch cartoons.  I remember spending the night and sleeping in the bedroom with the twin beds and yellow bed spreads.  I remember practicing skits near the fireplace in the basement.  I remember the excitement of discovering the cellar and all the other rooms in the basement.  I remember losing a boat load of toys in the bushes outside.

Grandma had a snowball bush and I remember one year when we tore off all the snowballs and jumped into them the way one jumps into leaf piles in the fall.  We had a lot of fun – but when grandma had learned what we had done, she was mad.  I don’t remember her ever becoming that angry with us.

Sometimes we would actually venture away from the property.  Explore abandoned cars, try to hike to the W (I think it was a W – four burnt logs on the hill – or so I believed) and fearing those riding dirt bikes and motorcycles. I think we may have tried walking to the capitol building – though we never made it.

Roaming Lacy’s property is not quite the same as exploring the hills behind the capitol.  It does make me smile to watch Jenna make discoveries.  I’m sorry that she will never know the house where my grandma lived.  Corey and Kayla both missed out as well.  The condo was the only house they ever knew with grandma – though Corey is familiar with the concept of the house on the hill – because there are pictures.  But he was just a baby when she moved.  He wasn’t even walking, I don’t think.

There are pictures of each of us at mom’s house – different years and different furniture.  The evolution of rainbirds and manually turning the on the water as opposed to the automatic sprinkler system and dry grass and garden attempts to baby tree landscape to huge trees that Anna and Garrett will never know.

Memories.  That’s all they are now.   

My Garden Pants

When I purchased these pants – I don’t know how many years ago – it was not my intention to wear them in the garden.  They were comfortable shorts – okay, maybe a bit longer than shorts, but something I could throw on during the summer and not feel the heat of the fabric surrounding me like an unwanted blanket. 

There is a knot in the front.  Well, several knots, really.  I don’t know how to maintain them.  I have tried different methods for keeping them straight when I put them in the wash, but somehow they always manage to twist themselves together.  It seems the harder I work at keeping them straight and make attempts to keep them from knotting, the more knots and tangles will form before I remove the pants from the washer.

I can’t find them now, but there used to be some rather ugly stains in addition to the knots.  Thus they became my garden pants.  As they were already stained, I didn’t figure being in the dirt with them would be a big problem.  Imagine my surprise when I took them off the clothesline and spred them out to take a picture and now I can’t find the stains that were there. 

Nice job, Mr. Sun!

"And Ye Shall Plant a Garden . . ."

 We planted beans, beets, onions, and peppers.  Roland asked if we should do corn or tomatoes again.  I don’t really care about the corn, but I do enjoy being able to eat tomatoes off the vine rather than paying an outrageous price at the store for something that just isn’t as good.

But there were plenty of tomatoes with the community garden last year – and as Roland donated all our tomato cages to the cause – we decided that we would just use the tomatoes from the community garden and that would be enough. 

It was overcast and cool.  Roland wanted to finish before any rain fell down.  The dirt looked light and dry as it spit around the cultivator.  We dug holes for seeds and plants and planted stakes at each end and tied string from one end to the other and were pleased.  Though Roland seemed to want more.

Lacy and her husband have a fair amount of property.  I would guess roughly about three or four acres – but that is just a guess.  There’s a bunch of us who have used a patch of their land for our community garden.

Dan is in charge and had scheduled for those that had contributed to come plant on Saturday.  That cancelled due to the rain but we were asked to come on Monday night and dress appropriately for possible mud.  And so the community garden was put on hold.

Monday Roland returned from work with six tomato plants and corn and strawberries.  He always wants to plant strawberries – but we haven’t been very successful with fruit (except for the tomatoes – which are technically a fruit) .  We’ve tried blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, melons, grapes.  We get apples on our apple trees, but we don’t eat them.  We did eat the plums from the trees when we lived in our first house. Somebody else planted them.  They seemed to grow fine without our help.

Since we don’t have the tomato cages anymore, Roland used some signs that he had from his last job – another of his creative solutions. Thus we stood the frames next to the plants  for the tomatoes to lean against when they become large like the first sets we grew.

So we found a couple of areas and Roland cultivated the land.  It had been raining all day and the soil looked rich and dark – but it wasn’t muddy.  The sun was beating down while we were planting.  We both wore hats.  The one that I wore I had purchased specifically for gardening as it shaded me.  Roland wore a safari hat.  But the shadow of him wearing the hat made him appear to be an actual farmer. My shadow gives off the image of a true gardener (LOL)

Just as we had finished, it grew overcast again.  And then we went over to the community garden to plant and covered each plant with milk cartons to keep the birds away.  But I see another definite plus with the milk cartons – when the weeds start popping up, it will be easier to tell which are weeds and which are plants.  Pull everything NOT surrounded by milk carton.

I can’t remember if Dan said if we were planting fruit or not.  Those that couldn’t show on Monday were requested to come Wednesday to plant corn, beets and pumpkins (Corey refers to the squash varieties of the Y’s of the fruit world; you know how Y can act as either a consonant or a vowel in the English alphabet.  Squash and tomatoes, pumpkins . . . they’re all a part of the fruit family though most people consider them to be vegetables)

  

 Seems more peppers were added to the crop this year – and more varieties.  I personally don’t care if a chili pepper or jalepeno pepper ever make an appearance in this house. 

Roland and I grew pumpkins one year – we were hoping for the kind that can be carved into Jack-o-lanterns, but they were an unfamiliar squash that we could only paint faces on.  Or in this case: 

I Have to Have a Ten Page Report About Sir Isaac Newton Turned In by Monday

It is nearing the end of the school year and Jenna tells me she has to do some research on Sir Isaac Newton for an upcoming report.  She tells me that it has to be ten pages and has to be turned in by Monday.  Funny how I didn’t question the report itself – though the amount of pages and deadline threw me somewhat.

Generally her teachers have sent out an outline of the things that the class will be learning during the course of the year.  Usually they have worked an entire month on any given project.  And ten pages is a lot for high school students – let alone third graders.  She must have heard wrong.

I asked her what teacher had given the assignment and type up an e-mail as I believe that Jenna’s understanding is not correct.  Just as I finish and am about to press send, Jenna begs me not to. 

“Why not?” I ask. 

“Because it’s not a real assignment.  I just made it up.  I’m interested in learning about Sir Isaac Newton.”

I am dumbfounded.  Not only for her interest – which might spell GEEK to some of her friends, but for her clever acting.  She said she wished she had gotten someone else, but that each child had to draw a name out of a container that her teacher had passed around.

I love that Jenna truly loves learning.  She is fascinated with non-fictional books.  Always has been.  She loves to read about Science and history and is ashamed of how different races have been treated throughout the course of history and really would like to better our world. 

Let’s Override Bullying and Manipulation

It’s been a couple of months since I took Jenna and her friend to see The Mysterious Happy Life of Brown Bag by Greg Near. I honestly did not know what it was about – but it was playing at the library and gave us something to do for free.

It started out cute and funny.  Jaime, Trume and I all laughed.  Towards the end though, they both got bored with it and I don’t think they realized what had even taken place.  The one act play had taken me from laughter to tears in just a matter of seconds.  Brown Bag had been bullied because he was different.  He so desperately wished to have friends that he allowed them to manipulate him – even though he knew that because they were trying to hurt him, they really weren’t his friends.

After the play the cast members and writer and some others held a discussion panel.  Trume and Jenna both wanted to leave – which I understood.  It’s not a comfortable subject. But I thought it was important that we stay and get some feedback.

So many of the children (what little there are) that surround us are from broken homes and dysfunctional families and perhaps it’s just what they’ve learned from their own surrounding circumstances and upbringings.  I wouldn’t classify any of them as bullies (just yet anyway) though there are a few that have been able to manipulate Jenna.

Jenna had always been the leader when we lived in our first part.  Yes, she was a bit manipulative – but in a positive way.  She never tried to hurt her friends.  She never tried to seek pleasure by embarrassing another or enjoying watching others get into trouble or what have you.  She’s just always had a head full of great ideas and would strongly suggest that her friends play her games.  But they always had fun together.  There was never anything cruel about her domination.

Over here things are different.  She has somehow allowed herself to get sucked up into things that she hasn’t been comfortable doing – and I repeatedly tell her to stand up for herself and not to get sucked in.  A real friend wouldn’t allow a friend to feel uncomfortable.  I’ve used my own examples as well as referring to The Mysterious Happy Life of Brown Bag and repeatedly asking if she remembers what happened to him.

I used to worry about Tony, too.  Tony has always seemed socially awkward (actually, both two oldest boys have) and I was afraid he would fall in with the wrong crowd.  He is swayed so easily. Even as an adult I think he is easily manipulated. I’ve always wished that he would stand up for himself and not allow others to walk all over him.  But he has been walked on a lot.  

Jenna and I are over here to learn something.  I don’t know what it is.  Gratitude perhaps.  Because right now we are not very grateful.  I’m finally comfortable in my own ward, but not with the neighborhood.  Not with Jenna’s friends (or lack thereof)

 

I don’t deal well with bullying.  I am so upset with the results and the pain.  Manipulation needs to vanish.

short post about bread

Near my daughter's school is a bakery outlet.  I'm not much of a Sara Lee Fan.  But I do really like Grandma Sycamore's bread a lot.  I have decided that my absolute favorite (at least of now) is Sunflower and Honey. 

I especially enjoy it when it surrounds egg salad or chicken salad.  Jenna doesn't care for it much - especially with peanut butter and jelly.  I do buy a variety, but I personally like sunflower the best.

Planting Another Garden

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Everything I know about garden could be written on a 3X5 card – perhaps with room to spare.  We lived in the same stake as Joy Bossi – who hosted the program “Joy in the Garden” Our two wards shared the same church building and we could there on Thursday afternoons to listen to her words of wisdom on what we needed to do to prepare for and grow gardens.

 

In our particular neighborhoods the soil was not great for growing much other than weeds.  One thing that I remember learning was to make several holes in the bottom of a plastic wading pool (the kind that you can find in stores) and fill it with great soil and mix it with manure that was purchased from a gardening store.  Roland and I tried it.  And we did have growth, but very little in the way of onions.

 

Last night Roland and I made another attempt at a garden this year.  From seed we planted beans and beets and pepper plants and onions. We had tried onions again after moving to West Valley (which does have much much better soil than what we had in Kearns)  - they came out like pearl onions in which about nine onions would equal a small onion used for cooking.  I think it only lasted for three meals.

We have grown beets before.  They did well for us.  And actually so have tomatoes – at least certain varieties.  Roland chose not to do tomatoes this year, as there seemed to be plenty from the community garden last year. 

Peppers have never grown for us.  I think this is our third year trying.  And I don’t remember beans growing so I don’t know if we’ve already attempted them or not.

Dan has put himself in charge of the community garden – though all those who would like the benefits of community harvest are expected to participate in the garden’s upkeep.  And Roland had asked tons of questions last year.  This is the first year we have used string to mark where the plants are.  I hope it helps – I am often pulling at plants instead of weeds.

I heard it raining quite early this morning.  I hope it didn’t wash away any of the seeds. We were going to start with the community garden this morning, but it looks like it's been postponed to Monday night because of the weather.  Maybe I can watch Ester this morning.

thoughts concerning mom and Tony

Yesterday I took mom to the hairdresser.

She said it was nice to see her hairdresser again as she hadn’t seen her for a long time . . . which she hadn’t.

As I drove her back to where she lives, she kept on asking who it was that had fixed her hair.

At Alpine Ridge she was greeted like a celebrity.  Everybody LOVED her hair.

She had to check the mirror again as she couldn’t remember.

“Who fixed my hair?” she asked again.

There was a noise coming from the next room.

The noise reminded me of a single bowling lane. 

Mom said she didn’t think that’s what it was.

Well, I knew that! That’s just what the sound reminded me of.

Mom tells me about the woman in the room next to hers.

Apparently they were the first two to live there.  No, not live.  They worked.  But Helen is getting slower.  She has . . .  well, she has . . .  she’s just slowing down.

“You’re all slowing down,” I thought..

Mom couldn’t remember the word “dementia”

Tony and Rochelle have been visiting.

They have to spread their time between two families.

They don’t always show within the hour that Tony says they will.

Usually not within the first four.

It’s not Tony’s fault.  But it is hard to make plans.

Plans for pictures and photographer.

I had made plans.  But Tony said there was a change.

So I decided that we would try again in February.

Evidently I hurt Tony’s feelings. I didn’t mean to.

They may have been on time at the park

But as they’d been wandering around, we didn’t actually see them until later.

But it wasn’t four hours later. 

But still – I can’t make plans for everybody.

I can only remind them.

I think Sunny was disappointed.  But I can’t count on Tony and Rochelle showing up on time.

And we’ve already had one family picture without Randy. 

Tony allowed himself to feel offended.  He’s trying to blame me for my comment.

And maybe I was out of line – but I also know he is hurting because there is truth in my comment.

We’ll do family pictures on Memorial Day – when Tony and Rochelle are back in Texas

But Corey and Joh will be here.  And so will my uncle.  My mother’s baby brother.  He is coming to see her.  That will be nice.  Tony and Rochelle may never meet him.  Well, not in this earth life anyway.

Corey seems more interested in family history now than he has ever been.

He particularly would like to have more information on my dad’s maternal side. 

I told him to ask our former neighbor.  Funny how George Bird would know more about our family than we do.  But his dad used to hang out with our great uncle.

I may be watching Ester this morning.  Or maybe not.  Tony may not want to leave her if he is upset.  I also volunteered to watch Anna and Garrett tonight.  If I have them all at the same time, perhaps I can get pictures of the four that I couldn’t get together in the park.  They won’t be professional like Bill’s would be.  It’s a little overcast thus far.  I may have to take pics indoors.  If I have them.  I haven’t even taken Jenna to school yet.  It’s a short day.  I forgot to mention that to Tony and Rochelle.