Jenna's Birthday on April 3

             Before we had even packed, Roland and I stopped by the store for some gift ideas.  Jenna had recently told us that having footie pajama would be cool.  The first ones that I saw were bright pink with rubber ducks.  Jenna has always had a thing for rubber ducks but as I looked around, I saw something else that looked more like something that she would pick. We chose what she calls a “cheetah print” because she is somehow in love with animal print – first cheetah and then zebra.  

Jenna and Roland had gone to the pool while I had the opportunity of taking a hot bath.  (Roland is so good to me – knowing I have been wanting a bath in a large tub for some time – at that point neither one of us were aware of the hot tub located next to the pool)  Jenna was still in her wet swim suit when I got out of the tub.

I told her that she could open her first gift that first night.  I was thinking those would be the pajamas she would wear most of the vacation.  And so she stood in her wet bathing suit waiting for Roland (who had gone to get something to eat, unaware that Beth had invited us for dinner – even though we hadn’t really planned on showing up until the next day) to return before she opened her gift.

We had gotten a woman’s extra small because they looked like they ran big (pajamas almost always do) and they did fit – but not comfortably enough to sleep in.  And so we returned it to the bag to take home and exchange – hopefully.

Jenna turned eleven on Friday.  She was actually quite pleasant for someone who had absolutely no say in having to be in Oregon on her birthday.  And what we had planned was not all that exciting either as Beth had given us the names of a few surrounding towns that we might want to look at.

We enjoyed a continental breakfast.  Roland made waffles for Jenna, himself and me.  We drove to Forest Grove, Dayton, Lafayette and surrounding areas.  We did find a manufactured home for sale in Lafayette – a price we could afford.  But we learned it needs a new roof.  It is in a park verses its own land.  Roland would rather have our own land – but I’m okay with a structured community – at least I think I am.

We had stopped somewhere to get Jenna a drawing pad.  Roland also let her pick out a toy which she could have for her birthday.  She chose a stuffed frog marked “Hoppy Easter”.  She received texts from both Tony and her dentist to wish her happy birthday.

After four we went to meet Beth and Graham for dinner.  He made macaroni and cheese (Jenna’s favorite) asparagus (which she tried and ate one of) and chicken.  I forgot what fancy name he gave it.  It was good.  The whole meal was really wonderful – and filling.

Beth had made a cake earlier that day – a gluten free cake.  It was in a large stemmed bowl with eleven candles.  It was really good.  We lit the candles twice as I hadn’t taken my camera out until after she blew the candles out the first time.  I only got five pictures.

Jenna shared her wish as she was certain it wouldn’t come true.  She wished she had gotten a pool toy instead of her frog.  After she had excused herself from the table, Beth found a rubber duck that she could use.  So her wish came true after all.

Before we left, Beth taught us how to play Labyrinth – which may not be in production anymore.  I know I have never heard of it.  Jenna, Roland and I played with Beth.  Jenna ended up skunking everybody.  Beth offered to let us take the game for the night, but I knew Jenna would want to go swimming again.  I knew that I’d be too tired to do both.

The next morning Beth took us to a bead store so that we could make some jewelry in honor of Jenna’s birthday.  Both Jenna and Beth chose to make bracelets but I decided that I would rather have a necklace.  

necklace by LaTiesha, bracelet by Jenna

April 2, First Day in Oregon

            It's now been a week since we flew out of Salt Lake City.  After we landed we went to find our luggage.  Portland is a nice airport.  Portland must have been a connecting stop for most passengers as there weren’t many people standing at the carousel to claim luggage, nor were there many pieces coming out.

            Every time I wait for luggage, I think of one time when I had gone to the San Francisco airport and stood behind a crowd of people surrounding the luggage carousel but in no way could get near enough to collect my luggage.

            As I saw one piece make its way around I loudly asked, “Could someone toss me that light blue bag?” 

            I soon realized that I had made a wrong word choice as my blue piece of luggage seemed to be hurled towards me.  I was grateful that no one was hurt. 

            I had to show my luggage tags to someone before I could leave the airport.  That was such a foreign concept to me.  At Salt Lake International, the individual who takes the luggage is responsible for checking his or her own.  We didn’t have to show our luggage tags to anyone in Portland either.

            My grandma had always marked her luggage with yarn pom-poms.  I had added ribbons to each of our luggage to make it easier to find.  All four pieces arrived safely.  We took our luggage downstairs to the rental car area and got a really nice 2015 Toyota Camry.  Both Roland and I really liked it.  

            From Portland we headed to Salem and started looking at houses and calling on apartments.  We looked at places between Salem and Albany and between Albany and McMinnville.  I called Beth after we got into McMinnville. 

            Kayla had called me to ask about some mail and to ask how things were in Oregon.  At that point we were stopped at a local diner and Roland was writing down addresses from the church.  I told Kayla what we were doing.  As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized I hadn’t told her that we had considered moving to Oregon.  I had dropped a bomb on my sister, and I felt very bad about the way I had just blurted it out instead of allowing her to get used to the idea. At that point I think we had only told two people – Corey, for financial reasons, and a sister in our ward that recently moved to Salt Lake from Newport, Oregon.

            It was actually a while before I made the opportunity to call her back and apologize because if it had been the other way around, I would have been bawling my eyes out.  And Kayla had cried for a bit.  Corey had returned her call just after I had dropped the bomb and she was crying when she talked to him.  But by the time I returned her phone call, she was genuinely happy for me and had convinced herself (or maybe just me) that it was/is a good thing that I am doing.

            When we arrived in McMinnville, I called Beth and we went to her house to visit for just a few minutes. Beth had offered us room, but Roland did not want to impose.  Besides Beth has a cat – and our reasons for coming to Oregon was to see if I could breathe better – and would I be able to tell with a cat around. Also the inn we checked into had an indoor pool – the highlight of children’s expectations of what all traveling must include.  So there would be swimming involved which made for a great birthday. 

Salt Lake International

            We had asked Tony and Rochelle to house sit – not that our house needed sitting, but because we wanted them to have time to themselves and we thought that would give them the opportunity.

            After they arrived, we watched Walt Disney’s Into the Woods.  I was quite surprised when Ester joined me in the recliner.  She didn’t watch the entire movie, but she was in the recliner long enough for pictures. 

            Roland slept on the couch and I slept on the recliner while Tony and Rochelle took Ester in our room.  My, she was loud.  Enthusiastic.  Not even close to sleepy.  I don’t know what her parents did to hush her.

            I don’t know why I woke up just before 4:00.  I tried to continue sleeping.  At 4:00 a.m. I finally got up and went into the computer room to read.  I actually have three books going at the same time.  I was hoping to finish one of the library books as I did not wish to take a library book to Oregon.  I didn’t finish however, and I am at a really crucial part.

            At 5:30 Roland came in to find me and we woke up Jenna and told her to get dressed.  We also woke up Tony, who said he’d drive us to the airport.  Even if he changed his mind, his car was still behind ours.

            Tony did take us to the airport.  We packed his car – which was certainly a lot more roomy than our own.  We had seven pieces of luggage – though only one was large enough to have to be checked in.  But we had planned on checking in four pieces.

            We were told that the four pieces would be 110 dollars. What?!?  I don’t remember ever being charged for luggage before.  We were told that we were entitled to two carry-ons each.  And so we checked in the large suitcase (which actually is not all that large – just beyond carry-on size) for 25 dollars and then dragged the remaining six pieces to security.

            Roland and Jenna were pulled from the line and permitted through the first security gate right away.  I had to stand in line that led toward the other two gates.  After a while it was learned I was standing there without companions and was taken to the first gate where Jenna and Roland had gone through minutes earlier.  How weird.

            So after we had dragged all of our luggage from the baggage check to the gate, there was an announcement that the flight was full and  passengers were asked to voluntarily check in any carry-ons that they were willing. We had been willing – just not for a price.  We got to check in three pieces without expense.  Why couldn’t they have figured out their booking before we had to drag the pieces through security?  

            The plane was an older model.  I felt like we were flying in a relic.  I think there must have been turbulence on the way to Oregon.  Jenna’s flown before, but was too young to remember.  She enjoyed the flight.

I’ll See You in Oregon

         For spring break this year, we decided that we would go to Oregon.  I was excited to get away from Utah and to a state where I could breathe.  Jenna was sad not to be in Utah for her birthday, but built up an excitement to go. Roland has needed a vacation and was happy just to get away.  But none of us were as excited about going to Oregon as Beth.

         Beth Goldberg and Roland were in their high school band together.  Roland was interested in dating Beth, but the feeling was not mutual.  She liked Roland as a friend, but didn’t wish for anything more.  (I personally think she may have just had higher standards) After forty years they had reconnected through facebook. 

         Beth travels a lot – or so it seems.  She had remarried and was looking to move from West Virginia to Oregon.  As she and her husband drove from state to state, Beth said that they would be travelling through Salt Lake on a certain day and asked Roland if maybe they could do lunch.  He could meet her new husband, she could meet his new wife (me) and so we had made arrangements to meet for lunch.

         I met Beth for the first time on September 4, 2013 – after mom had been in the hospital for four days. Just as we had finished up, Beth invited us to stay with them in Oregon whenever we happened to make it up there.  I took her more seriously than did Roland. 

         When we planned our summer vacation last year, initially he wanted to take Jenna back to Disneyland, but he also wanted to invite his mom so that she and Jenna could have some bonding time. 

         It was my idea to change the itinerary from California to Oregon as Disneyland didn’t seem to be the ideal place to take his mother as there is more walking and standing involved than her legs are used to.  She’s too proud to be pushed in a wheel chair.  I figured if she and Roland were to watch shows while Jenna and I stood in line, the bonding would not be what he had hoped.  I figured a road trip in Oregon would give his mom the option of leaving the car at her convenience to do side trips and there would be a better environment to bond.

         Turns out that Roland’s mom had already been spoken for and would be spending the majority of her summer in NJ with Roland’s brother, Bob.  I still wanted to go to Oregon, but Jenna and Roland opted for Disneyland.  Thus Oregon was put on the back burner.

         In October, Roland had this horrible cough that seemed to linger for the rest of the year.  Our room always seemed too hot for me.  Though our bed reclines, Roland and I are never happy in the same position.  I ended up on the couch each night until finally I ended up falling asleep in the recliner in the living room and stopped going to bed all together.  I learned that I could actually breathe better than I could in the bedroom.

         When Jenna took swim lessons, the pool area was moist.  That was actually great for my sinuses.  After at least three years of suffering with dry skin and dried out sinuses and sinus infections and allergies, Roland decided that perhaps it was time to move (I had actually suggested that very thing more than eight years ago) and maybe we ought to look into Oregon.  Was this for real?  Breathing has been better for me this winter than any other because there has been more precipitation than usual.  That and the better ventilation between the front window and the sliding door.

         For Spring Break this year, Roland and I decided that we would spend five days in Oregon – looking at living locations mostly.  For the next week or so, my posts will include details about our spring break vacation.

Where is 28 in 2012?

I remember watching a documentary with my mom in 1991.  It was called Age 7 in America.  At least I think that’s what it was called. 

I don’t know who’s responsible for making it.  It looks like it may have been created by Christopher Quinn patterned after an idea done in Britain?  I don’t even recall which network sponsored the program.  Quinn (who also narrated the film) told us that the plan was to follow a number of children from different backgrounds and upbringings and interview them every seven years.

I remember looking for “Age 14 in America” but not finding it.  I don’t know what prompted me to look it up on YouTube this year – but I did find it.  Age 7, age 14 and age 21 (thank you Orletta Crichlow) and watched Up 21and was really quite impressed.

Years ago, when my mom and I had been watching, there were three girls wearing school uniforms.  As they were being interviewed, the one in the middle (Kate) seemed a bit naïve and perhaps a little slower than the other two.  I remember the three talking about babies and that one did not have to be married in order to have a baby.  Kate’s comment implied that a man would still have to be involved.  When the other two said (in unison) “No, you don’t.”  Mom looked at me and said something along the lines of, “I thought the one in the middle didn’t seem as smart as the other two, but now she sounds smarter.” 

I thought the other two were too young to know about artificial insemination, but perhaps that was what was meant by their comment.  But a man is still involved – just not in the natural sense.

Kate was my favorite among all of the children that were interviewed.  After 24 years I had forgotten how many children had been interviewed as I could only remember five.  The three from upper class New York and the two from the poverty stricken housing project in what sounded like a seedy side of Chicago.

The focus was on 14 different children – some grouped and some individually.  There were five girls and nine boys interviewed. This post is my review.  You may wish to watch this without reading my review to form your own opinions.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCe8a-BwHwc

The background and situation from which you come (or are in) doesn’t define you, but rather your attitude toward how you deal with the given situation.  I find it interesting how some were faced with similar situations took their lives in different directions.

I thought it was interesting, how at 21, Kate said she had watched “7 in America” for the first time when she was eight.  She said she felt ashamed I think of being in her situation when it was obvious that there were others who did not have it so well. 

I hadn’t remembered Luis at all, but was touched by his story. His dad had recently skipped out on them.  Mom was into drugs.  Lewis – at age seven – took upon himself the responsibilities of caring for his younger siblings.  SEVEN!  I can’t even imagine.

I have been so impressed with the choices that Luis made for himself and for his family – always trying to do right by them and sacrificing education and friendships in order to tend to his siblings.  At age 21, Luis was serving in the army.  Grateful for the independence of being away from his family – but still assisting with taking care of them.  He seemed to have such a great attitude despite the challenges that life had dealt.

The other two I remember were Leroy and Kennisha.  They lived in what was known as the Robert Taylor housing project.  It sounded like an area with high crime and poverty.  Leroy had been riding his bike upstairs on the walkway – going back and forth.  The interviewer had asked why he didn’t take it downstairs and explore the outdoors.  His answer was that if he had taken it outside, that someone would just push him off the bike and take it from him. The two had witnessed many crimes with either eyes or ears.  I honestly wondered if they would both be living by age 14.  Happy to see that they are.

Kennisha seemed to have amazing faith as she would pray for things to get better.  At age 7 she was a strong believer in God and that continues.  And life did get better.  By age 7 she had moved to section eight housing.  By 21 an actual house with a lot of family members.  Her goal was to move her daughter to Texas where they will have their own place and Kennisha can actually enjoy some time experiencing solitude.

I highly recommend watching 21.   I’ll end with what I thought were memorable quotes:

“It’s going to get better.”  -  Luis

“Hard working people are overlooked.”  -  Doug

“We control our own destiny as best as we can”   -  Eric

“Predetermined background doesn’t define who I am or how I’ve gotten here.”  - Michael

“There is no emotional diploma.”  -  Alexis

“Everything coming in place.”  -  Kennisha

“Everybody needs love.”  -  Leroy

“Step up to the plate.”  -  Luis

"Things don't always work out like they're suppose to."  -  Kate

“As long as my family love me, I’m okay with that.”  -  Leroy

Fall into Spring

We did not have much of a winter this year.  I’m quite grateful, actually.  At least for now. 

It was good to take the bus in nice weather and not have to trudge through the snow during the time when we’re walking.

We had 5 – 8 hours of snow on the 3^rd – though I suppose those who live closer to the mountains or even in the mountains may have experienced more.

The snow fell hard and didn’t let up until after five feet or so, and then it let up.  Meanwhile I lost my bus pass.  I figured whoever picked it up needed it more than I did.

I chose not to purchase another pass.  Though I had only gotten three fares out of the first – I figured we could save thirty dollars if I just paid the fare each day.  Still expensive.  But as of Monday I’ll have a car again.  Still not comfortable with driving – but the sun is starting to warm and I don’t wish to wait in the blazing sun after school. It will be nice to wait at the school in a car with the windows rolled down.  And not to have to cross the street anymore.

I will miss the train at times.  Perhaps I lost my pass so that I may look forward to driving?  Perhaps I’ll never know.  It’s been a good experience.  It has also gotten tiring.  I’ll still be limited with my driving.  But that’s okay.

Most of the trees are naked now.  Some are starting to dress in their blossoms.  Still have noticed one tree hanging onto autumn. I took this picture while I was waiting for the train:

Any Day Now - a review

I remember hearing a story about a child visiting grandparents – noticing that “grandma” is much taller than “grandpa”.  One day the child asks why grandma had married when there was such an obvious height difference.  The grandma responds with, “Your grandpa and I fell in love sitting down, and by the time we stood up, it was too late.”

Often there are people look for a partner in which to share a life.  Sometimes they base their interests on appearance or personality.  And then there are others who develop a love without even trying.  And sometimes the situation may seem challenging if acted upon – some may accept the challenges while others choose not to go there due to an orthodox view of race or religion.  Others may accept the challenges that they face and try to make a go at it.  Sometimes the constant battles will make a couple stronger.  Sometimes it ends up tearing them apart.

Recently I watched a movie called “Any Day Now” starring Alan Cumming as Rudy Donatello.  The movie is based upon a real situation that took place in the 70’s between a gay couple trying to win permanent custody of a teenager with down syndrome and a judicial system who seemed to focus more about principle than they cared about the youth – one of many who I’m certain has gotten lost in the system.

Rudy works as a drag queen performing at a bar and barely making ends meet.  He is comfortable in his skin, somewhat smart mouthed, but definitely NOT ashamed.  His love interest is Paul Figer, an attorney who struggles with his identity – not so much ashamed of his attraction to Rudy, but tries to remain “closeted” as he knows acting upon his attractions will jeopardize his career.

Rudy’s neighbor plays music extremely loud, against Rudy’s wishes.  He’s constantly asking her to turn it down.  One time he barges into the apartment to turn it down, he discovers Marco, who seems oblivious to his surroundings.  Rudy has compassion for this youth with down syndrome and takes it upon himself to take care of Marco – though it’s not really his place.  He does develop a love for the youth and really does try to due right by him.

Of course I bawled through so much of the movie.  I was actually surprised by the way the movie ended.  I can’t say more about it without spoiling the outcome.  Made me hate the judicial system.  Made me love and admire Rudy’s character – and the strength of the couple as they battled a system with prejudices. I felt so bad and sorry for Marco – who did not understand.  It was a bittersweet movie.

It’s rated R for language – and usually that word really does get through to me – but I was more accepting of it just because of the circumstances – and because of Marco – an innocent victim.  He didn’t deserve the abuse.  He deserved Rudy’s love. 

I need to stop writing.  Because now I’m crying again.

Grandma Really Didn’t Jump From an Airplane

I am currently taking a family history class through the Church because Roland wants to take the class but can't always be there and so has asked me to come with him in the event that he has to miss a class.
Yesterday we shared memories of our ancestors.  I had known from the beginning that I would need to come up with something.  And I have written down thoughts here and there - but nothing major about anyway.  I finally ended up sharing three stories that mom had shared about herself and a family member's name.  Of course once the class was over, I have been able to come up with some other memories.  Here is one:

     My mom has never had a great sense of direction – at least since I’ve known her.  Sometimes she would forget small things and exaggerate about things like, “having to drive around the world” when it had taken her longer to get to places than anticipated.

     When she first was diagnosed with dementia, her children often wondered if it was still her personality that caused her to do things (or not do things) or if the dementia had taken over.  We soon realized that it was her dementia.

     One time Corey and Mom had gone over to Patrick and Sunnys’s house and were having dinner with the family.  The topic at hand happened to be skydiving.  Ellen and Kimball had experienced jumping out of an airplane in real life – and Candy had been saving her money so that she might go sky diving sometime in the future.  I think they said Sunny had wanted to go, also.

     They said mom all the sudden joined in the conversation.  “You know I’ve been skydiving, too.” And then proceeded to go into detail about her experience.

     Now, you must understand, my mom was fearful of heights.  She didn’t even like to ride the sky ride (similar to a ski lift) at Lagoon (an amusement park in Farmington, Utah) because her legs were dangling.  There is no way in real life she would have ever jumped out of an airplane.

     But eventually the account she related came with such superior detail that even Corey had questioned it as he looked at the others and said, “Did she?” as each of the others shrugged.

     Throughout the rest of her life she continued to tell her account of how she had “jumped out of a plane”. 

     Four months after we put her into assisted living, she met another resident of the facility.  His name was Harold Martin and he had flown in small-uncovered airplane for real.  He was fascinated by mom’s story and wish that he too had had the opportunity of skydiving.

     He must have noticed that mom’s story varied a bit each time she told him.  For what started out as a private jet with an instructor ended up a commercial airline that was going down, and the crew had insisted that each of the passengers jump out in order to be spared.

     If mom had lived any longer, I think her story would have changed to being pushed rather than jumping of her own free will.

Give Me Moist Aire

It’s been an awesome winter

Yesterday we had a storm

Didn't last long, but now

the air is dry.  I

Haven’t had the sinus pain

Breathing’s been nice

Until the

Last few days

My throat is closing

The only way to clear it

Is to make an unattractive noise

I drawing the attention

To myself

But if I don’t make those sounds

I can’t breathe

Why when it snows

Is there less precipitation

in the air?

I am not a scientist. 

I don’t understand

Why the air is so dry.

Before My Mind Forgets

I was looking for some photo pages the last week.  As I was searching, I came across a scrapbook that Jenna and I created together – or started to anyway.

A neighbor who had three daughters of her own had actually given the album to us.  I don’t know if it was something she intended to fill up eventually and life just got in the way, or if she just really wasn’t interested in that kind of thing – or why it had been in her possession in the first place.

I don’t even know how old the album is.  There is a copyright from Lansdowne Publishing.  It was first published in 1997 than in 1998.  The book itself is written and compiled by Deborah Nixon.  Designed and Photographed by Robyn Latimer.  Beautifully illustrated and very thoughtful.  It’s called  Mother’s Memories For my Daughter.

  I let Jenna pick out all the pictures that she wanted to use.  As I'd written down my memories into the book, she would cut out pictures and paste them in.  We had fun doing it – and I think it will be a great treasure for her one day – providing that she can actually read it.

When my mind is working faster than my pen, I tend to get sloppy.  The fact that cursive isn’t really taught in our public schools anymore has made it even more challenging.  Jenna can’t read cursive.

There have been several papers and stories that she has written on – sloppy print and misspells.  I have scanned many and have a picture in her original hand and a translation.  I figured I could do the same for mine.  And so I’ve started.  Barely.  Started.  My mind has raced with almost every page I’ve scanned.  There’s much more detail in my head than what’s been written.  I have been writing down memories, typing them, searching for more photos – which I know exist – but I cannot find them.  More searches.  More memories.  My fingers cannot keep up with my mind.

  

Corey has tackled the project of transcribing mom’s journal.  I am so excited for it.  I’m sure that it will take me longer to read than for him to copy it all. 

He shares certain memoirs every now and then.  It is fun to see them on facebook and remember when.  I love my mom.  I have great respect for her.  She was such an awesome woman!  And just so giving and compassionate.  I wish I were more like her.

The memories I have been writing down are about my grandparents and great-grandparents and then I started to write down what I know about Roland’s mom and then I asked him to change the things that I misunderstood and to add his own memories.  He wrote things about his dad.  I’m glad that he did, because I did not know him.  I was in high school when he died – just over twenty years before I had even met Roland.

As I’m typing or writing, I can think of more things.  I add thoughts, insert paragraphs, forever cut and paste.  I will easily fill up several flash drives.  That is where I am.  My blog is on the back burner – for a while anyway.