Like a Fish out of Water . . . so Far out of My Realm

          I remember taking a communications class in college.  I think it was an elective.  It turned out that there were only seven or eight students, the instructor and me.  We all sat around one table to have discussions.  We were told that we didn't have to purchase a book, but each of us would teach a lesson.

          I was the only student in the class who was not a communication major.  For the most part, they seemed to be talking in languages that I, myself, did not understand. The week before I was assigned to give the lesson, I wrote down the topic name and went to the library to do some research.

          I'd be lying if I didn't say that I had bluffed my way through the assignment.   I had used an example that somehow got out of hand.  The subject I had picked at random was also advertised on a button that one of my classmates had been wearing.  I honestly hadn't noticed until she pointed out.  Or perhaps I had, and used it on a sub-conscience level. It was a good conversation, as I recall, but for the most part, I wasn't even a part of it.  The one wearing the button apologized for steering the class away and getting "off topic".

          "Actually," I said with semi-faked confidence, "This conversation has been a great example of what I was hoping to convey."  And summed up whatever notes I had prepared for the remaining two minutes that were left.

          This mod I am taking two classes: Management Principles and Pre-Algebra.  The math class (once again) is non-credited, and yet I would much rather deal with my math class and not even deal with management - and yet this is a series of eight required management classes.  I honestly don't know what everyone is majoring in, but I get the feeling that many of the students are business majors striving for this coveted management position - or are actually in management positions at this very moment.  

         And then there or those in health care who will obviously need teamwork and leadership skills.  I admire them so much for going into health care as we all depend on them and I am grateful.  And then there is me.  Uncomfortable at the topic of business, seminars, incentive rallies, and big corporations.  I did not move to Myrtle Creek to go corporate. 

          I worked for a chapter of Swire Coca-Cola for a few years when I lived in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Our paychecks were issued out of Atlanta, GA.  I would rather know the person (or people) who sign my paychecks than to feel like a number in the system.  Our department was okay.  Sometimes there'd be some of us who would go out to lunch together, or support each other with wedding showers, baby showers and what have you.  But the turnover of employees was constant - either due to advancement or being let go. 

          I was in the imaging department - working at converting paper documents over to an electronic system.  I did not have to be on the phone, deal with complaints, or handle confrontation.  I was a responsible employee who went in, did my job without supervision, and was comfortable in my situation and really saw nowhere within the company in which I wanted to advance.  I'm introverted.  I enjoy being introverted.  It was an okay job.  I think I would have enjoyed it more if there had been less goofing off and if everyone else had worked as hard I did - or that I could have been paid 2-3 times the amount as I was working three times as hard . . .           

         Several years before that I was at Nordstrom working in the Cafe.  I felt like our department was the pion of all departments and seemed unwelcome participants whenever we were asked to go to meetings . . . we didn't sell the prestige merchandise that glorified the other departments (although I personally wasn't/am not a fan of Nordstrom products; for as much money as one may spend on an item, I should think it would be better made)

         My brother works for the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.  Neither Swire nor Nordstroms was not near as overwhelming as MGM.  What a tremendous mass of people day in and day out.  Too many people.  I felt claustrophobic as a tourist.  How would I ever handle a work situation?  seriously?  I realize there are benefits that come with oversized and prestigious companies that one would not find with a ma and pa store.  But given the opportunity of prestige or ma and pa, I'm going to go with ma and pa.

         

          I love the interaction with small businesses, the socialization of truly knowing those that I work with.  Making a personal connection has always been more important to me than money.  But I'm not saying all big businesses are so focused on money that they forget how to be personal.  Corey says MGM Grand has been great.  I think he is treated like a person for the most part.  I think he's had to force himself into that role, and maybe it doesn't bother him so much.  But Corey is introverted, too. 

           Then again, there are those in health care who I would like to respect and admire who also have to deal with management andI suppose have had their share of conventions and pep rallies. I heard that Costco is a great company to work for. Costco is closed on federal holidays.  Good for them!

        So our first assignment for my management class is to watch a video and visit this website on One Smooth Stone and answer three questions with opinionated answers but also references to back those up.  I am impressed with what they do, but at the same time, pep rallies and incentive seminars really aren't my thing.  Swire used to have those.  A lot of people all gathered in a room and lots of cheering and laughter and what have you.  It was generally overwhelming and out of my comfort zone and I was never happy about having to be there.  There's nothing wrong with being enthusiastic or trying to get your employees excited.  It was the idea of being in a crowded room with a lot of noise that made me squirm.

          It isn't just in a job situation either.  I don't like crowds.  I don't like the applause and cheer drowning out the music.  Or having to stand up every 15 seconds if I want to watch the activity going on in the field.  Why did those people in front of me purchase tickets for seating if they're not going to sit?  Given a chose between intimate gatherings vs. rubbing elbows with glitz and glamour . . .  I'm going for the intimate.  

          I also don't want to be in a management position - which probably doesn't account to what the interviewer wants to hear when I go out to "sell myself" for a job position that everyone else is also applying for.  I do know how to play the game.  But again, I seriously would rather my job be intimate as well as my life.  I need to be happy.  Conventions don't make me happy - even if they're entertaining.  I'd rather watch them on YouTube from the comforts of my own home than sitting on somebody's lap for a better view. 

          I should also be working my assignment rather than creating this post.  It's just so dang hard when there's no passion!  

          Yesterday Roland and I went to the senior event where we watched "Sully".  I'm amazed at all the cautions that were taken and the lack of understanding or communication among those trying to discredit Captain Chesley Burnett “Sully” Sullenberger, I realized that my training for management may have nothing to do with my career or current position, but maybe something greater.