Don’t Jump to Conclusions but Give the Benefit of the Doubt

          The “Come Follow Me” lesson for last week was sections 64 – 66.  The theme for section 66 is on forgiveness.  It made me reflect back to the talk given in sacrament on the day my family arrived.  I believe he said he had based it on Elder Bednar’s talk from the October 2006 General Conference here. 

          The message of the talk was to not take offense.  There are many of us who take offence due to the actions or words used by others – or so we suspect.  But perhaps the “offender” is not even aware that we were offended. It’s not likely that the “offender” had gone out of his or her way to offend us but more likely that we misinterpreted.

          I have shared these two examples here and here in which I was the offender.  It reminded me of this skit

                How many times have I been in Ernie’s shoes? How many times have I thought up things that didn’t deserve the reaction I gave?  How many times have I jumped to conclusions rather than give another the benefit of the doubt?  I try to understand the other’s point of view.  I know I can be friends with those that don’t share my beliefs.  

https://www.virtuesforlife.com/why-com
passion-is-incredible-for-your-health/

            As I age I have become wiser about some issues while my understanding is still fogged about other matters.  I want to be accepting.  I want to have better communication skills.  I want to understand another without being judgmental about a certain situation. 

          I am grateful for the opportunities to learn and for Heavenly Father’s love.  May I continue to strive to be an example unto Him.

Will Mr. Gobbles Die on that Hill? or Will He Find His Way Home?

         I don’t know where I might have been when the turkeys came into our yard for the first time. I must have been picking the girls up from the farm or dropping them off.  I remember Roland saying the neighbor from behind us stood on our door step with a net and asked permission to go and recapture her turkeys.

The chickens and pigs had made their way to our yard in mid-August but we did not see another turkey until just before Thanksgiving.  Jenna named him Mr. Gobbles.  He had made it through the Thanksgiving holiday but was gone before Christmas.  They have since added a couple of turkeys to their menagerie. A different Mr. Gobbles is currently pacing back and forth on our side of the hill.  He has been there all day trying to figure out how to return from whence he came.

As I mentioned in an earlier post Roland will no longer feed or water the chickens.  Well, he does use the hose on them whereas before he would fill up containers, but not anymore.  They ruined his cucumbers and nearly spoiled our tomatoes – but as our cukes were ruined anyway, we took down the fencing and put it around the tomatoes.

When Randy and Carrie visited, Jenna took Devan out to feed the chickens.  But we had stopped feeding before they left and taken the rest of the food up to Roseburg to feed the ducks.  On Tuesday Roland used the hose to chase all the hens up the hill.  He and the elders used the remaining chicken wire to attach to the neighbors fence to hold back the fowl.  The neighbor gave Roland and basket of eggs which he in turn gave to the missionaries after discovering 20 or so eggs that the hens decided to lay under the tarp that we have over an assortment of odds and ends that were on the deck.

The chickens don’t need to be in our yard anyway.  We are having a back room added to the house and the chickens have a habit of being in the way. Yesterday one of the smaller hens found a way into our yard.  Roland said that he saw one of the brown hens as well.  Today it was Bruce and Mr. Gobbles.  Roland said he squirted both and Bruce finally returned.  Mr. Gobbles remains clueless

The progress on our new room has seemingly come to a halt as we wait for an inspector.  The base isn’t even finished.  I miss being able to hang my towels and swimsuit on the line after I return home from the pool.

Well This Day Hasn’t Gone According To Plan

 I suppose it’s my own fault for having a “not exactly stressful day” but “not the way I would have done it day” and it isn’t even afternoon yet.  What’s up with that?

Pre-pandemic the Relief Society presidency would hold our meetings on Wednesday either at 10:00 a.m. or 1:00 p.m. depending on whether I had accepted an assignment to work at the school.  Meetings were basically arranged according to my schedule.  Ahhh.

Then came the pandemic.  It really didn’t matter what time or what day of the week our zoom meetings were.  Even before we had returned back to the two block meetings and held our meetings in person, we had somehow changed to Tuesdays at 10:00 am. which I hadn’t even thought about one way or another until just this very moment.

Yesterday I went to the pool for the first time in almost two years.  It had rained before we left and Roland had tried to discourage us from going.  But I knew Carol would be there.  Rain is different in Oregon than in Utah.  We don’t have lightening storms.  The pool is open when it is overcast or raining.  It’s a part of life.  Deal with it.

I had planned on going to the pool today as well.  One of the presidency says she plans on going to the water workout also but was unable to do so yesterday.  She had mentioned it the other day and I freaked.  I had forgotten!  But I then received messages from both her and the RS president that the meeting had been cancelled. 

“Oh, good,” was my initial thought but I do have some things address but did not wish to press the pres. as her brother is a victim of COVID and she was planning to go out of town to be with him.  We had a small messaging conversation before she changed her mind and said the meeting was back on for 10:30.    

Meanwhile Jenna had reminded me of some other commitments I had made – specifically taking her to the theatre and her friend to the high school.  Oh, yes.  I told the RS pres that I would need to drop Jenna’s friend off between 11:00 and 11:30.  Thus the meeting was cancelled again.  But I would still like to have a meeting.

So this morning I created an agenda for myself :  Forego the pool for this morning. Drop Jenna off at the theatre at 9:45.  Pay water bill (as I am headed that direction; I might as well continue) go to the post office to mail the Fathers’ Day Cards that Roland had created.

Carol had asked if I could meet at Soco which I thought would be yesterday, but it’s really today.  Since I’ll be downtown mailing the letters I may pop in at Soco just to say Hi.  Spend a few minutes before I return home to take Jenna and her friend to the high school – even though the school season has ended.  Ruth is eligible for a program that Jenna isn’t because of finances and education or something.  Both Roland and I have graduated from college and the program is geared to students whose parents don’t have college background – or something like that.  I don’t totally understand it – just know that Jenna does not qualify.

Sometime between six and seven this morning Roland informs me he wants the cards taken to the post office the minute it is open.  What?  My belief is that the mail is collected only once a day.  It will go out at 3:00 – but Roland believes there is another time scheduled for first thing in the morning.  I don’t think so.  But okay.  I will leave just before 9:00 a.m. so that I can hand it to somebody personally.  Got it. 

Though it takes only seven minutes to get downtown, Jenna and I left the house at 8:45.  She couldn’t understand why we were leaving one hour before she needed to be to the theatre.  I figured she would want to come with me and I wouldn’t have to stop off at the house again.  We could take our time.

She opted to stay in the car which was nice because then I didn’t have to drag my purse inside.  I just left it in the car with her and went inside the post office, handed the Myrtle Creek and “everywhere else” mail to the postmaster.  Returned to car.  Drove to the pool.  They were just getting started which meant there’d be no line.  I decided to buy a pass but thought it would be easier for everybody if there wasn’t a line.  I will start my pass tomorrow.

Returned to the car and saw class members lifting the water weights.  They looked like giant flyswatters from my point of view.  My eyesight has become so horrible without corrective lenses. Jenna got out of the car and took some pictures which I may post whenever she sends them to me . . .

I had time to pay the water bill before dropping her off at the theatre which worked out really great for me as I would only have to make one left hand turn instead of two.  Funny thing about the water bill – they come on postcards that have a fold.  Customer is supposed to rip at the fold and return with payment.  Only I never saw the part I am suppose to return.  My neighbor said she had the other part in her mailbox.  We are one digit apart and our mailboxes are on the same side of the street.  It hasn’t happened often, but we have gotten each other’s mail before.  Usually it has been the sender who was in error and not the post office itself.

I then dropped Jenna off at the theatre and knew I’d have at least 30 minutes before meeting my friends at SOCO.  I really had to use the toilet and figured that using one at my house would be more convenient than anywhere else and so drove home and started an email agenda which I still need to finish with.  I remembered that Roland takes his break at 10:00 and told him that I’d be taking the car downtown.  He said he wanted to go with me but I was going to meet my friends and hadn’t planned on having Roland there – though they seemed happy to see him. 

He ordered a burrito and the absolute worst drink that I have ever tasted.  I suppose it was somewhere between an energy shot and a beer.  He thought it would have more juices as it was labeled mango and passion fruit.  Don’t know whose imagination supposed it tasted like it resembled any kind of fruit.   Carol wouldn’t taste it as Roland had already had his mouth on the bottle.  But Jenna, Ruth and I had all tasted it and I think Ruth was even more grossed out by it then I was.  Jenna didn’t seem to mind and ended up drinking the rest – but more out of just not wanting to waist it rather than her low standards of food and drink.  I was willing to throw it out. 

Jenna reminded me that I had agreed to take her and Ruth out to the wild life safari but Roland has the day off Friday and I thought it would be great if he could drive us out there.  Jenna’s day didn’t go according to plan either.  I said I would take them to the safari.  But we’re each at home doing our own thing.  Though now that I’ve posted this, I will go hang out with her.

Remembering a Time . . .

Facebook memories shared a video put out by Vice News on HBO.  I watched this as though seeing it for the first time and felt nostalgic at doing so.  I had heard the rumor before joining the library board when it was considered a public library.  Many of the libraries did reopen eventually, but most are no longer considered public but rather “Third Party” libraries as there is no funding to pay a staff or even just one librarian.  Myrtle Creek is a third party library.  I think Riddle has gone public – or perhaps were in the processing.  But COVID could have changed that.  A lot of changes since COVID.  But the closing of the libraries happened three years before.  I miss the public libraries we’d gone to in Salt Lake.  I am grateful for my kindle and having the ability to update with Amazon.

https://www.slideshare.net/nadajabar/libraries-matter-53581250

Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these . . .

 

On May 21^st Joh and Corey had discovered another stray in their yard and like before (see here) they took it upon themselves to feed the neglected tom and nurse it back to health. 

Corey and Joh’s first miracle cat had shown up on the 25^th – the day they had scheduled for their new stray, Jasper to see the vet.  On the 31^st Corey wrote:

“With the collar that Joh gave him, his shaved fur, and having our home as his temporary abode, it makes me cry because he's been given back some of the dignity a cruel world took away from him and, of course, he's got love and caring now, too. Don't we all deserve that?”

Jasper in May

On May 31 Joh had proposed the question: "If Jasper was a human being, what do you think his life was?"

And on June 3 (a year after Joh’s mom had passed) Corey wrote that: “Jasper represents a hope for a different outcome”.

I’ve enjoyed the updates that are posted and have so much admiration for the compassion and the willingness to give.  Yesterday I read this post and asked Corey’s permission to post it to my blog:

“When I was in Sydney, Australia with [Joh], I saw a homeless man whose figure felt so tragic, I wanted to capture it because it was such a haunting and sad image to me. I really second-guessed whether I should do so because it felt cruel of me to take a photo of this man's misery like some sort of exploitative tourist. But there was something pathetic, and yet also filling me with a sense of compassion, about the man's posture, that I wanted to safeguard the image as a reminder to me that there are people in low places in life, and it behooves us to stand up and take notice and help each other, if we can.

photo courtesy of Corey

“All I could do that day was put some money in the man's outstretched cup, but I really wanted to somehow do more, yet felt powerless and helpless to make any sort of real difference.

“As [Joh] and I were talking about Jasper this evening, we remarked how it feels like he wants to be loved and held and pet, but still is a bit guarded in doing so, as if the world has so abused him and tossed him aside, that it is a challenge for him to trust and learn to love again.

“Clearly, he trusts us and is affectionate with us. He eagerly greets us and rubs against our legs and allows us to pet, scratch, and hold him. But there is always an underlying tension—a fear, maybe—a posture that he holds that indicates that he is scared this feeling of comfort, love, and security won't last. I wondered yesterday if when we took him to the vet, he thought we were getting rid of him.

“I do not know what traumas this little guy has faced, but I know he has, and it is, of course, taking time for him to adjust to a life that is different than the one he had. And as [Joh] and I talked, we discussed the parallels of foster kids or recovering addicts or war veterans or anybody, really, who has experienced trauma or betrayals or disappointments and is trying to heal.

“I wish at times that we could really see into each other's hearts and intimately know the burdens and pains that make us who we are and how we act. I think if we could see deeply into each other's souls, we would be more compassionate, patient, and understanding with one another.

“This picture [four paragraphs above] reminds me that we are all of worth and that sometimes circumstances put our fellow human beings in unfortunate places, but that if we have the means, opportunity, and prompting to lend a hand or a kind word, we should.

“I have never shared this photo with anyone until tonight. Not even [Joh] had seen it until this evening. But I share it with you with the hope that when you or I see someone who is in need, whether in large ways or small, that if we have the ability to help, we should.”

The coat that currently covers Jasper's misshapen body

Better Without Heat

       It rained yesterday.  An Oregon downpour - but nothing on Salt Lake forming puddles in the street - only the streets that have potholes.  It was a welcome drench.  This morning is muggy.  Still cool on the outside, but have the A/C running currently in the house.  This week has been so nice we have not used the A/C or the heat.  I wish it would just stay like this.

    Though I had written the following on Monday did not post until this morning:

It is much nicer weather this week than last week – cooler than I remember June weather being but closer to the temperature that brought me out her in the first place.  Cooler weather for Levi to build a deck/room as compared to last year’s front deck built in July – though not scalding.  I think each July has been hotter than the last since we arrived in Myrtle Creek although there was no Summerfest last year.  I will have to search online for something more accurate than my body telling me that’s how it is.

The last few days of May and the first couple of days of June were unbearably hot for me personally.  I thought perhaps Randy had packed it up and brought it with him.  He apparently prefers the heat and will walk in it but I don’t like walking in temperatures over 70.  The only time he saw we walk was when we were in Bandon.  The temperatures there were like they are now in Myrtle Creek.  I would like this temperature to remain this consistency throughout the year.  That would be awesome!  None of this 75 to 98 degree nonsense (or higher – I do remember Myrtle Creek getting over 100 once – but three digit temperatures really are rare).  60 – 70 degree range is nice. 

It’s supposed to rain.  I don’t know how Levi feels about that.  The heat didn’t seem to bother him in July.  I will have to ask next time I go outside.  Roland wants us to document the happenings of the progress as we have in the past.

Visiting Bandon

             Our longest driving day was taking the family to Bandon.  It was also the coolest day as Bandon is always 10 – 20 degrees cooler than Myrtle Creek. 

          We arrived earlier than normal as the shops had not quite opened all the way.  We walked around the tourist trap next to the pier.  We showed them a couple of sculptures outside of the Washed Ashore museum. 

Before we left the house I had looked up the hours but read they would not be open until July.  However there was indication that they would be open later that day.  We forgot to return to see.

      

          The trolley wasn’t running and so we drove to many of the places where the trolley had taken us. The baby was asleep when we arrived at the beach and so Carrie, Randy, and Jenna explored a bit on their own.  Devan had gone with them initially but returned to the car as she wasn’t warm enough. 

 

Fowl Sounds and Other Noises

 Backup to Memorial weekend and the following week

          It doesn’t appear that most of us have slept well.  I sleep too well perhaps;  I have been drinking Energy Shots every morning as I am constantly tired – tired to the point of mushy mind and absolute lame company.

          Carrie and Randy, of course, are not used to the chickens cackling or the roosters going off at random hours.  Randy thinks the youngest rooster sounds like a helium balloon that is slowly loosing air at the lip.  I have been so out of it that I no longer hear the fowl.  I do hear Jenna talking when she’s on her phone and I hear the blare of the television. 

          It has been a long while since I heard the screaming or crying from a one-year-old child.  My gosh, that kid has lungs.  Overall he has been happy but there have been times when it is so obvious that he is tired but seems to fight it.  It has drowned out Bonnie’s snoring.

Throwing Hands

          There is a difference between a job and a career.  Career oriented people will put themselves out there.  They have a desire to advance.  They want to change things.  They want to set goals whether it is to make money or better the community, environment, what have you.  Some are so focused on their careers that nothing else is a priority.  Some balance their careers with other things that may have meaning in their lives – such as family or community. 

Job people are those who need a paycheck just to make ends meet – or sometimes just to have an extra amount of cash.  These people don’t necessarily wish to make a career out of whatever they’re doing.  It is there just to get buy.  They are not married to their job or at least don’t want to be.  Often people have resentments about their situations on the job – or others that they work with.  Some feel used and abused and struggle financially while others do it for extra pocket change.  Some are even happy with their jobs but are also aware that it’s not necessarily something that they wish to do for the rest of their lives. 

https://www.mihnati.com/blog/2017/12/job-vs-career-whats-the-difference/

I think Linkedin was designed for career oriented people who know how to utilize the site to the fullest while others create an account either out of curiosity or like me, do for a grade requirement.  I’m sure I could use it to my advantage if I had the right frame of mind, but I don’t.  I don’t have the right frame of mind that anyone reading this would even want to hire me.   

I am a good employee – always have been.  But I don’t wish to be married to my job nor do I wish to spend so much time getting to a location where said job might be.  I’ve already done that as a single person.  Time is more precious to me than money.  Roland doesn’t understand that.  He wants me to work full time.  He wants me to find a job that will offer benefits.  I do get where he’s coming from.  I really do.  He wants Jenna and I to be covered should our health be jeopardized or I am unable to work further and his social security will not be enough to carry us through.

        I loathe job hunting.  I have been in a number of dead end jobs biting time because I wasn’t willing to play the job hunting game of filling out applications and interviewing.  

We went to a job fair while Randy and Carrie were visiting.  Roland had dropped everyone off at Stewart Park except for me.  I put my resume with three companies who were there to represent themselves. I may have received a call from one but unsure as the caller had a thick Asian accent that I didn’t understand.  She called the day after I had put in my application to the school district the day after the job fair.  I would like that position as it will require less travel.

Return the Free-Range Back Where They Belong

             A few days before our family’s arrival, Jenna pointed out the chickens in the cucumber garden.  No cukes this year!  Roland is mad!!! He decided that we would quit feeding and watering the chickens and return them to where they came from and pen them in so they cannot come on our side.  I told him to wait until after the kids arrived as I thought perhaps Randy could assist as he is tall.  Before we sent them on their way, I was hoping Devan would have at least one experience with feeding them and collecting eggs.

Carrie enjoyed the free-range eggs and says it is something she will splurge on as the free-range are healthier than most of what is sold at the grocery store.  I personally don’t care about the cucumbers.  I couldn’t see Richard eating all that would grow – but now we will never know.  Not this year anyway.

The chickens are still in the yard.  Levi’s dog had chased them away – but only temporarily.  I wish Bonnie would do that.  She isn’t as intimidated by the chickens as she used to be, but certainly not a threat to them.  She was to Levi’s dog however and so he called for someone to collect her so that there wouldn’t be any trouble between her and Bonnie. 

Levi worked hard on tearing down the deck and improving the yard – only the chickens are still there and returned to their favorite haunt though in a different form.  I hope the chickens don’t inconvenience what Levi is meant to accomplish.

Visitation Finale

         Though they left on Saturday, I consider our last quality day with the family was Friday.  Roland wanted to take them to the Lighthouse Café though I didn’t think it would be worth the drive as COVID had changed their dining options.  They had made outdoor dining available but had severely cut down the menu options.  I wasn’t impressed with the empanadas that had been ordered along with the puffed pasties with fruit filling.  But Randy and Carrie seemed to like it and so it was worth the drive after all.

Jenna had wanted to go bowling – a family activity that Roland had wanted to do when we were in New York.  I forgot my wrist band and so did not participate and Carrie doesn’t particularly care for the bowling/arcade atmosphere – which makes sense.  So just Roland, Randy and Jenna bowled.  Devan played a few, but got bored with it after five turns.  They had fun. 

We went home and had left overs.  We played games and Jenna unloaded the van. Gradually each of us went to bed. 

On Saturday Jenna, Randy and Devan hit the yard sale next door.  Jenna spotted a bear that she really wanted and asked how much it was.  They were just setting up and a woman asked Devan if she wanted it and Devan said yes and the woman said she could have it.  Jenna was a bit miffed as she wanted the bear for herself but Devan wouldn’t let go and ended up taking it home to St. George.

We had to return the van before 12:00 afternoon or wait until Monday – but did not wish to pay an additional two days after the family had gone.  Roland drove to Roseburg and I followed.  Jenna came with me – I suspect to escape Devan.  Randy had asked if Devan had wanted to go with us.  Neither Jenna nor I had planned to take her and were both quite relieved that she did not wish to go.

I drove the back way and got on the freeway at ramp 113.  We met Roland at Enterprise and he and Jenna got some food from Taco Bell (although we had just eaten breakfast before we left). After we returned home, they all loaded up the Impala and left shortly thereafter.  We said our good-byes on the front porch except for Roland who drove in record time.  Randy let Carrie sit up front with Roland while he sat behind next to Devan in the middle and her baby brother next to her – both in car seats. Roland must have driven around the airport, thrown them all out without slowing down (LOL) as he was back nearly 90 minutes before I thought he would be. He said the drive had only been an hour and ten minutes each way. 

Good-bye Family, Hello Back Room

         As I had mentioned in prior posts we had wanted to redo our flooring and add a back room to the house.  Roland had taken time off work the last week of April as we believed that when the floors would be done.  That was the initial plan.  However the product we ordered had to be shipped – which added nearly another month before the floors were started.

Unfortunately it hasn’t been finished.  I don’t know if the error was with shipping product or inaccurate measuring so the correct amount of product had not been ordered to begin with or what exactly happened.  But we are still waiting for flooring.  The kitchen isn’t finished and the bathrooms have not been started.  The bathrooms were what I had been concerned about the most – particularly the master bathroom which I know has water damage.

We had hired someone local out of Winston.  I was impressed with him and do like his work.  Roland seems to want to sue as he is in breach of contract that Roland was insistent that be drawn up. True, the floor hasn’t been completed but we have not paid the full amount of cost so what exactly are we suing for?  So this guy will return to complete the job and may not be friendly toward us because we took him to court?  I don’t want to take him to court.

We’ve prayed and will continue praying about our decisions.  Meanwhile we have been told that he will be back in July to finish our floors at no additional cost for the material.  And now that Randy and his clan have gone back to their house in Utah, another individual has shown up to start on our back room which we could have used last week while the family was here so that they would have a bit more room and Jenna would have been able to use her room.

I felt bad that we were not able to give them their own room as they had for us when we had gone to New York.  We all had more space to move around in.  But then again their entire house was at least 3 to 5 times bigger than ours.  I don’t know what the size of their current house is.  I do know Randy wants us to visit.  But I suspect it will be a while.  We spent quite a bit during their stay and now the back room.  I really don’t like borrowing money but at the same time have wanted new flooring and a back room since we moved in over five years ago.

So that’s today’s post.  Worth the wait, right?