If You Leave Your Note Book Out – It Becomes Up For Grabs

I was raised in a household in which we respected not only one another – but property belonging to someone else.  We’d always ask one another if we could borrow or have – we didn’t just take and keep or disregard without considering the emotions of another.

Roland has always grabbed at envelopes or statements or even receipts – if there is a blank space he would document information from the caller – and leave it.  I at least make the effort to transfer the information rather than telephone my spouse and expect miracles to happen as I describe the notes I took and the possible appearance of what it might have been written on.

Today his “note” detail much more space than even a totally blank envelope will provide.  If I should leave out a notebook which I have written, be it journaling, lesson preparation, or whatever, he ignores the fact that the notebook may belong to somebody else and starts in at exactly where I left off.  What?!?

Randy at least has the decency to turn the page – problem is he has a college algebra class and uses up several pages for just one problem.  Give me a break!  Not fond of that algebra.  But then neither is he.

It isn’t just the notebook –it’s whatever happens to be lying around or - in Jenna’s case – just happens to exist.  Who cares if you had to open a drawer or cupboard and move things around just to get to it?  Pencils? Pens?  Once they enter our house, they are good as forever vanished. It is best that one NOT develop an attachment to anything as most items that come into our house grow legs and walk away or are forever hiding.

Edible things may be marked with names – but if they are kept in a public place (like the refrigerator) it is still up for grabs.  Tony is the only one of my three boys who ever asked if he could have different foods – but that was just while I was at home.  But Randy has always overlooked any personal belongings and still helps himself to whatever (and he doesn’t even live here anymore)

How nice it would be to experience the same respect that I grew up with.

This post is contribution from Jenna

-->

Normally she doesn’t like poetry – or at least hasn’t seemed to enjoy it in the past, but as we were coming home from school yesterday she read me one of her poems and made up some more on the way home.  I made her write them down so that I could post them to my blog. (I am correcting spelling and adding punctuation)

Owls

Owls Owls fly around

Owls Owls say “Hooo” – that’s how they sound

Owls Owls have big eyes

Owls Owls these aren’t lies

Cars

Cars drive

         Up and down

All around town

Homework

Homework is such a bore

We always have more

We’d rather relax on the shore

Or eat an apple core.

Jenna created and wore this costume to school today for a program

Nice Going, Mother Nature!

Many mornings

After Roland has gone to work

I’ll open the bathroom window

Because I am hot

I‘ll leave the window open all day

And Roland will close it

After I fall asleep

Because he is cold

When we went to

Aunt Neone’s funeral last year

It was cool jacket weather

At least in Salt Lake City

Where the funeral was held

But the burial was in another county

Where it was cold

And snowing a theatre snow.

The snow itself did not seem real

But we all could have used coats.

Monday was hot.  Roland had left

The window open and the fan was on

I don’t even think he was covered entirely

With blankets as he usually is

And yesterday was overcast and cool

Last night it snowed.  That weird theater snow

It feels like Styrofoam.  It isn’t cold.

But the air is.  I can’t believe how hot I’ve been

And how cold it is right now.

I personally would rather have the cold

The theatre snow, the grey.

I do like sunshine for the light.  But not the blaring heat.

After Roland goes to work, I’m turning the heat off.

                                                                     taken at 7:00 am

Jumping: It Does her Body Good

-->

Jenna LOVES to jump. I believe she was jumping before she was walking – though she always had assistance.  I remember my mom watching my arms moving up and down at a rapid pace and commenting that I might be going to fast.

“It isn’t me!” I would say, “Jenna’s the one who’s jumping”

When the library did a theme on superheroes and allowed the children to make capes and personalize it with initials.  We chose JJ for Jumping Jenna.

 There was a trampoline in my mom’s yard and a trampoline in Patrick’s yard.  And Jenna thought that was one of the coolest devices that she has ever enjoyed.  She could bounce just like a ball.  And her smile was always pure joy.  Jenna loved the trampoline.

  The trampoline that was in my mom’s yard had been purchased by mom and dad and Patrick.  It was a gift to all of us – even though Patrick had paid I think half.  The frame has seen many tarps and sets of springs over the years, as each of us spent countless hours as kids and then Patrick’s kids and then my own.  I think the trampoline that was in Patrick’s yard had been purchased by all four of his kids – or at least the two oldest.

I would have loved to get Jenna her own trampoline after we moved.  The closest we came was a mini trampoline that was given to us by a neighbor who had cleaned out her garage.  It soooo wasn’t the same.  She could jump on the ground higher than she could on the mini tramp.  It was a ploy – and not satisfying at all – though she did attempt to gratify her desires.  The older she got, the less gratifying it became.

I would have loved putting that joyful smile on her face and set up a trampoline for her, but we couldn’t afford it.  We had just lost our house.  Heck, we couldn’t even afford a used pogo stick. She couldn’t enjoy the trampoline at my mom’s house because even though the frame still stood, the tarp had been removed. And we usually didn’t have the appropriate strength for setting it up ourselves.

After we put mom in assisted living and were getting ready to put the house on the market, Patrick sent out a mass e-mail asking if any of us would like the trampoline.  I was so happy to get Roland to agree that it would be a good idea for us to bring it to our backyard to live.  A human friend would be much better, but a trampoline seems to be the next best thing.  I just hope Jenna doesn’t become bored with it.

“Corner on the Market!”

Patrick has always been a game collector.  I think with every passing year, there were always at least two games to be added to the collections. We played lots of games as a family when I was growing up.  Even after Patrick and Sunny were married, we would continue to play.  Some games more than others.

Pit is a card game that I don’t actually remember playing since Patrick and Sunny were newly married.  I hadn’t introduced it to my own family until last night when Randy and Carrie had us over for dinner.  For the most part brother pitted against brother.  The bear and the bull both got passed around and ended up in Randy’s hand as I called, “Corner on the Market” and Biff was laughing so hard I thought that he would split.  I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard while playing Pit. 

It really is a fun game...

More Thoughts on Funerals

Before I entered my last post, I knew I wasn’t finished with what all went through my mind yesterday.  I don’t mean for these posts to sound morbid, but rather respectful.  There are many who may not understand why I view funerals the way I do.

I couldn’t have been more than three when I was first introduced to funerals.  It was someone from the ward.  We weren’t close but apparently I had inquired about going.  Mom didn’t even think I even had known whoever it was, but I had been told that mom had confronted with the neighbor across the street who suggested she take me because it wasn’t someone close and it would give me exposure without being a traumatic situation that perhaps I could experience if the situation was with someone close to me.

I’m guessing I must have been a lot more reverent than Jenna has ever been.  I don’t remember anything about the experience – nor do I recall going to grandpa’s funeral just a few months later – though I do remember his dying.

Jenna was only five and a half when we left our first house.  Before our move, I remember taking her to many funerals – and leaving before the program was over.  She was still in diapers when my Uncle Ned passed away.  We used to take walks to see him and Aunt Sarah.  She moved in with her daughter after he passed. She passed away a year later.  Jenna's disruptions kept me out in the foyer.  I missed most of both funerals.

Lydia played the organ and lived across the street.  Jenna loved her. We would visit with her every other week.  After Jenna learned the song “You Are My Sunshine” she would perform it for various people and decided she would perform it for Lydia.  We were on our way to Lydia’s house when we learned she’d been taken to the hospital. She never returned to her house.

I took Jenna to Lydia’s funeral.  Jenna was horrible!  I don’t think we were there for 20 minutes.  I didn't even stay in the foyer but went across the street and put Jenna to bed. So when Bill (my brother-in-law)’s first wife passed, I promised Jenna the world if she would be reverent.  I told her we could go to the park or the library or wherever she wished if she would please please please keep still.  She was so good. 

Of course I had attended the funeral more out of respect to Bill than I had for Annaleigh. I learned many things about Annaleigh that I hadn’t known before.  It was such a wonderful program that honored and celebrated her memory. After her funeral, I took Jenna to Arctic Circle because that is what she chose. She had been so good. 

I’ve been to funerals for both young and old. The youngest being three years old.  It was a few years before Jenna was born.  It had been a tragic accident – but the family dealt with it well. The funeral was admirable really.

It really was a great tribute and I could really feel the Spirit present and was in awe watching his family and greater awe listening to his mom talk over the podium at his funeral describing his last day. It really was an honor to have been a part of that and to actually walk away with a feeling of comfort.

The funerals I enjoy the most celebrate life.  We need to embrace the memories and treasure the time that we had together.

Celebrating with Funerals

There was a funeral in the ward today – a man I didn’t actually know.  But Roland was presiding and asked me to be there.  The funeral did not start until 12:00 and yet I had been asked to be there at 11:00.  I still don’t know why.

So while I was there I started reminiscing over some other funerals I have attended during my lifetime. I have attended well over 40 funerals (perhaps more than 50) during my lifetime.  I don’t say that to boast – it’s just always been part of my existence.  As a result, I have always been surprised by the ignorance of others who find themselves in a situation of having to make funeral arrangements and not having a clue as how to go about it.

Death takes place all the time.  It happens all around us – I suppose for some more than others.  And each culture/religion views death differently and there are just as many funeral ceremonies as there are ways of dying.

For some cultures it is considered disrespectful for those attending to wear anything but white.  For others, black is the acceptable mournful color.  For the LDS member/funeral, the tradition is to dress in the same attire worn to Church on Sunday.

When Roland’s uncle (who’s not LDS) passed away, I had packed a black dress – though not a solid black dress.  It was gingham with large faded flowers – something I have worn to Church.  I don’t think his family was happy with what I had chosen to wear as his mother led me into her room and held out a couple of dark skirts and told me I could wear one of hers. 

Never mind that Roland’s mother is quite a bit shorter than I and any skirt that she had may have barely covered my bottom. It was 30 degrees warmer in Arizona than in Utah.  I was already hot in my “casual” summer dress.  I distinctly remember that one of the skirts was made out of wool – I’m allergic to wool.  As hot as I already was, I might as well just wear a trench coat and be just as uncomfortable.  And why would anybody own wool clothing while living in Arizona anyway?  I was the only adult wearing a dress.

For me, going to a funeral means you’re supporting your living friends whose loved one have passed on.  I normally don’t go to funerals if the only one that I know is the one in the casket.
 

I was once asked to drive my grandmother to a funeral that took place in another county.  I didn’t even know the deceased or any of his family – just my grandmother.  She didn’t really know the deceased all that well but had wanted to support the mother of the one who had passed. But at the funeral, I learned a bit about the deceased.  And after the funeral, I knew the deceased just as well as grandma did.

I have been to a handful of non-LDS funerals, but for the most part, the funerals that I have attended have been LDS conducted – usually in the chapel where we hold meetings on Sunday.  And I like LDS funerals.  For the most part, I think they pay excellent tribute to the one who is deceased.

The funerals I enjoy the most celebrate life.  The speakers consist of friends and/or family (family members are best!) who relate stories about the deceased.

I had the opportunity to speak at my great grandmother’s funeral, my grandmothers, and my dad’s.  I really enjoyed my dads.

The program addressed "farewell services" rather than "funeral services" I talked about dad’s early life up until he married.  Patrick took over celebrating my dad’s life as a father and patriarch.  We played Corey’s voice reciting his poem (found here)  which he later set to music.  And Kayla sang Amy Grant/Gary Chapman’s “Father’s Eyes”. 

I remember attending another funeral for a former neighbor (only about four years older than I) and his four children spoke at his and put their dad on a pedestal and really honored his accomplishments.  It was great!

Besides the funeral itself, there is the Relief Society who will bring casserole dishes, baked potatoes, side dishes, rolls and desserts (so the family and friends of the deceased can eat after returning from the burial) I remember lots of sign up sheets being passed around in my last ward.  Seems there were always three funerals in less than three months.  It became overwhelming at times (I’m sure for the RS presidency especially) I remember doing baked potatoes and salads and one dessert.  Today I took Calico Beans. 

I Want to Live in Tannersville

I love the neighborhoods that surround my daughter’s school.  I so wish that we could afford to move there.  Even out of state would be nice.  But then I would miss my sister.  I’m already missing my brother, Corey. 

Roland is committed to work his current job for at least another three years and there is only one other state we could transfer to – which would actually put us closer to his family.  But as that state is so hot and dry, I’d just assume stay put.

I like living in close knit communities where most all of the neighbors know and respect one another and are friendly and cordial.  And I’d love being around neighbors with children whom Jenna could play with and feel comfortable.

I highly suspect that the housing across the street is a section 8 (which I think I may have mentioned before) It hasn’t even been a year since Sandra and her four children moved in.  She’s diabetic and on insulin as well as welfare.  Doesn’t have a car.  But I don’t imagine that she’s ever had a driver’s license either. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer – if you get my drift.

I suspect illegal activity at her place – though I don’t think she herself is involved.  It used to be that only a handful of cars would come and go giving various people rides.  But for the last two months it has been LOTS of cars – nice cars.  A couple of cars have been in the driveway overnight.  But the majority have been there for less than twenty minutes.  Sandra is a great candidate if ever they need a fall guy.  She has no clue nor would even know how to go about defending herself.

I don’t want Jenna raised along side that.  I’d rather have back the ghost neighborhood that it was when we first moved in.  I want to live in Maybury – where the worst crime is the steel outside of town.  Or the town drunk who allows himself to be locked up every night so that he doesn’t commit a more serious crime.

I’d like to be able to park my car or Jenna’s bike without worrying about vandalism or theft – or having the idea that my neighbors (or their associates – whoever) are involved in narcotics or prostitution. I’d like to be able to let Jenna ride her bike or scooter around without having to follow her in the event that somebody will do her harm.  I’d like to go back to my childhood days when I was quite naïve and didn’t know crime on a first hand account.

No More Fun Walls or 50’s Themed Diners

One of the perks that Corey liked about mom’s assisted living was the décor, which he details in this post

Initially my mom’s room was located right next to the image of Elvis Presley.  A lot of the images had three dimensional props, such as his guitar, Marilyn’s skirt; there is one of Elizabeth Taylor holding flowers.

I had personally not taken pictures, though I did consider that taking one with Elvis might be fun.  Roland and I could stand on either side and have it sent to his mom.  But alas, we were too late.  For the last time we were there together was for the Easter event – which was actually busy enough to produce inconvenient traffic.  So I figured we could do it the following week.  But Elvis’ guitar had been removed and a paint roller had made Elvis a thing of the past.

Fortunately Bill and Kayla had taken mom up and down the halls one night and took several pictures – I don’t believe they got them all.  Maybe half of them.  And one or two of them would pose with image.  So the images that I share are from Bill’s camera.

Gradually all the props came down and the icons were painted over.  Yesterday the booths were torn out and hauled out of the building.  The saddest part of all (this is where you’ll want to shed a tear): NO MORE JUKE BOX!

The Alzheimer’s Association said the decor was not confirmative to how an assisted living facility should look – and if they are springing for the payment on the upkeep and the new paint, furniture and so forth . . . it’s not like I have any say in the matter either way.

Mom thinks the walls look nice – which they do.  It just doesn’t have the “fun” feel to it anymore.  But I can also see that the “fun” may have worn off for many.  Those who reside there everyday as opposed to the younger visitor (or young at heart anyway) Jenna has already expressed her devastation of the removal of Lucy and Ethel – she will be equally upset at the diner’s new make over and furniture (Jenna does not deal well with change)

The walls do look nice.  The paintings seem kind of boring.  Generic.  But they’re supposed to be generic.  I do like the new look of the dining room chairs, but will miss the “fun feel” of the diner. 

In time it will be more like an actual home – a home where mom is comfortable and may find just as pleasant away from her room.  And after all it’s the residence that should be most comfortable with the environment and I think in time they will be.  But right now it just seems so chaotic and melancholy – just like selling the house that I grew up in and will have a part of no more.  

Early Reader

Before Jenna started kindergarten we would read books like “The Little Red Hen” and “Frog and Toad”.  I would point to words as I read them and as words started to repeat, I would have her say them.  So before school started she was able to read words such as: hen, frog, toad, red, Not I, said and he.  She could not read the names of states on License plates – nor was she educated enough to decipher between state and country.

The rules of the license plate game (according to Tony) are rather simple.  All participants need to look for license plates from out of the state.  Whoever sees and says the most is the winner. Tony would often play the game himself but would say the names out loud. Jenna decided that she would play too.

“Arizona,” she’d say.

“I already called Arizona.”

“Idaho.”

“You didn’t see Idaho.”

I don’t think she did.  But she insisted on it.  Tony ended up giving it to her out of pity.

“Wyoming!” Tony called.

“Green Land,” said Jenna.  We both knew for a fact that she didn’t see a Green Land license plate.

After Tony stopped laughing he said, “You didn’t see Greenland.”

“Yes I did.”

“Jenna, it is highly probable that you did not see a car with a Greenland license plate,” I said.

“And besides, Greenland isn’t even a state.”

“You can’t count other countries?” I asked.  “I think you should get extra points for countries. I think it would be beyond cool if I were to see a license plate from Greenland.”

“That means I get extra points,” said Jenna.

“You didn’t see a Greenland license plate.”

After kindergarten, big words came easy to her.  She could read princess, museum, dinosaur and purple-licious without any problems.  The word that stumped her every time was the word “of”.  Missed it every time.  It wasn’t spelled correctly in her opinion.  It should have been “UV” – what a dreadful word.

She has now added Spanish words to her vocabulary – saying them – not spelling them.  Spelling is still not her thing – though she does seem to read well.  She obviously doesn’t pay attention to how words are spelled.

Still has a great vocabulary and for the most part really does know what she’s talking about.  And I don’t have to pay her to write stories anymore as I did here and here.     

Is that Chicago or REM? I can never tell which band (LOL)

Corey and I share an inside joke about REM and Chicago sounding alike.  In reality the two groups have different styles and sound nothing alike.  Their music sound is almost as similar as their group names. But there is a charming story behind our method of madness. 

One day Corey and our cousin, Earl, were listening to the radio.  One of REM’s songs came on and Corey asked Earl if he knew the name of the group that was performing.  Earl said that it was Chicago.  Corey, perhaps not as familiar with pop music as we both believed that Earl was, was somewhat familiar with Chicago and just didn’t think that sounded like them.

So Corey asked Earl about another song that he had heard REM sing.  Earl was still positive about the group being Chicago.  Later on Corey asked me about it.  And so whenever we would hear a song preformed by either REM or Chicago we would just look at each other and ask:  Is this REM or Chicago? 

  

Orange is the First Color of Spring

When winter feels like it’s over and the roads are no longer covered by snow and the days have been warm, UDOT jumps all over it and starts setting up poly cones and orange barrels all over the valley – particularly on roads that were under construction JUST A YEAR AGO.  That’s how one can tell it’s spring in Utah – or at least it’s supposed to be.

It is also a sign of agonizing weather to come.  (Could it be that Mother Nature isn’t fond of construction either) because just as soon as those roads are closed and the walls are set up, we have rain, we have wind, we have sun – and what is at least one day in April without snow?  Sometimes we get all the elements in one day.  It’s bad enough having to deal with the detour signs and the non-moving traffic.  April’s weather prolongs the construction by at least a month.

But I don’t know that UDOT had anything to do with the light snow sent our way this morning.  I think my family is responsible for this morning’s events, as we put up the trampoline last night. We haven’t ever had a trampoline in our yard before – but we are learning it’s just like UDOT’s poly cones or our putting up the A/C – for whenever we put that up, we have three days to two weeks of rain.

This morning, it really was a light snow once it landed, but a bitter freezing fall.  Seriously.  I can’t believe how many days we’ve had in the last two weeks in which we needed a parka on one day but could get away with shorts the next.  It’s crazy.

And I have learned that I have now become one of those personalities that I still often make fun of: a person who wears sandals (or flip-flops) and a coat or jacket of some sorts.  Really?  Do we think the parka/sweater will protect our feet as well?

Jenna had wanted to cash in her birthday money and gift cards for something she might want.  It was a nice day when Jenna and I left the house. I wore sandals over my bare feet.  While we were out the weather changed.  As we were passing a dry cleaner, I ran in to get some pricing so that we could get several of Roland’s ties done.  I grabbed a jacket from the car – still I had my bare feet.  I rolled my eyes at myself.

Now I have a pair of socks in my purse – which I ought to switch out as they look pretty dorky with most anything except covered by long pants and sneakers.  But if the weather is like it was that day or freezy cold like this morning – I’m willing to deal with looking stupid.  At least I am prepared now.  (Well to a degree, I guess)