Merry Christmas!

                     I heard this song for the first time two weeks ago.  I thought it quite beautiful.
                                         And I think this video is very fitting for today and tomorrow
                                                                (I may not post tomorrow)

Jesus is the Light

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"Where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"This is Heaven." declared a small boy. "We're spending Christmas at God's house."
When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But Jesus, their Savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
Those children all flew into the arms of their King
And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
One small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
Then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"May this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"Come now my children, let me show you around."
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

“Just What I’ve Always Wanted”

          Jenna rarely ever produces a long list of desired gifts for Christmas.  Usually she has her heart set on just one thing – and nothing else seems to matter.

          When Jenna was three the one and only thing she wanted was a Caillou doll.  Caillou is a cartoon character she really seemed into at the time.  I didn’t even know if any toy company made Caillou dolls.  I was guessing probably not.

          I researched but came up empty-handed, but didn’t want to disappoint her.  It was the ONLY thing she had asked for. As a last resort I made two paper dolls and included three sets of clothes for each doll hoping that it would satisfy her.

          Oh, I am so grateful to have captured as many memories on my camcorder (the old kind that took cassette tapes that probably isn’t even made anymore) of her as she opened each gift and would exclaim as she opened each gift,

“Candyland! (or whatever the gift happened to be) Just what I’ve always wanted!” 

It was so joyous for me to see her pleasant gratitude and happiness for each gift.  And she loved every one of them just as much as the two paper dolls.

This year it was an alarm clock. I can’t imagine why an eight year old believes she needs an alarm clock.  Santa will deliver it to her via Las Vegas.

Jenna's Gumdrop Tree

          Jenna had made a gumdrop ornament in preschool one year.  We’ve had it for four or five Christmases now.  The neighbor asked if he could eat it.

          “The candy is really old.  It probably doesn’t taste good.  And it may make you sick either way.”

          He had invited himself to decorate or tree.  I thought that was presumptuous of him.  But it was dark.  I couldn’t see well.  Roland had gone into the other room.  And so I left Jenna and Trume to decorate (they actually were better at spreading out the ornaments than Ooki had been with his first tree).

          Before he returned home, I gave him a small tree that we had put in Jenna’s room last year.            I had confiscated the gumdrop ball and put it on the tree the next day when I could actually see what I was doing.

          After a week I noticed that the small tree had been returned.  I also noticed the gumdrop ball had been ripped apart as there were gumdrops and toothpicks all over the table.  I was upset not because of the ornament itself, but the possibility that someone had eaten these stale gumdrops.  Jenna claims she doesn’t even like spice gumdrops.  Why would she do that?

          I didn’t realize that the gumdrops had been used to decorate the smaller tree.  And actually they do look nice – but they don’t seem to stay.   It was a cute idea.  She said they looked like Christmas lights.  Her creativity made me smile.

We no longer have the gumdrop ball ornament.  After Christmas, the pulled off gumdrops will also be trashed.   

Thank you AsianCookingmadeEasy

I have to post this because I am so major proud of my most recent accomplishment.  I just cooked my first turkey ever.  Almost 20 pounds!  And I wasn’t even chopped.  Roland gave me his seal of approval. 

Roland is the one who normally cooks.  He was planning on doing it when he returned home.  But I figured he’d be hungry when he got home and wanted to surprise him – though it wasn’t actually done until about an hour and a half after his return.  But it is two and a half to three hours earlier than it would have been if he had cooked.

Wow.  I cooked a turkey.  And it was good.  Thank you AsianCookingmadeEasy.  

Having our Christmas Dinner in July

          Family has grown.  We used to do a dinner on Christmas Eve. We would gather at the house where Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Ted live.  That was a tradition for years.  My grandma Helen and her three kids and their children - we started out with just three of us -  I was the eldest, then my cousin, Michelle, my brother Patrick and then Michelle’s brother came along.  It was another seven years before Edmund and Corey were born and then Rosa and then Kayla. 

          Daddy’s only sister, Chrissy got married to Kim.  Eventually they had four boys and the family continued to grow.  Both Patrick and Michelle found partners and married. And the family continued to grow.  It seemed like there were more people than room. 

It got hard for Trudy to host not one, but two dinners each year.  Not that she was supplying all the food.  All of the families chipped in. Trudy and Ted had hosted at their house on Christmas Eve for the families of one of their brothers and Christmas day for another.  After a while she no longer felt the need to do Christmas day as (I would guess) other family members took over – and I suppose it wasn’t as meaningful to Don’s family as it had been to ours.

          Each year Aunt Trudy would tell the family that it would be the last year that she would have it. And then she would call us the following year to make arrangements until one year mom said we could do it at her house.  But still, the families all continues to grow.  In-law obligations.  Too much running around.  So one year Michelle had suggested that we start a new tradition.  Instead of having a family gathering in December, why not have a pool party in July?

          So that’s what we do now.  The weather is a lot more inviting for driving.  Everyone is more relaxed.  There is a Christmas tree next to the gate to the pool and Christmas music plays in the background. We no longer have the ham and turkey, the funeral potatoes and glazed carrots.  Hamburgers, hot dogs and salads fill our plates. Instead of bulky sweaters, we have on swimsuits and trunks and enjoy our Christmas much differently than we have in the past.

          This Christmas Eve it will just be Roland, Jenna, mom and I.  Possibly Biff.  It will be the smallest Christmas dinner that I remember.  But that can be nice.  It’s a matter of attitude more than it is people.  Later on today I will call Aunt Trudy and Uncle Ted and see if they would like to attend also.  They come to the pool parties – but never come into the pool.

Oh, No! Mom Fell Off the Tree

          I always think it’s kind of odd that so many ornaments are made from porcelain or glass as they break so easily and not all of us are blessed with a quiet environment in which the tree will rest looking perfect and undisturbed.  (Jenna’s eight.  I think she still rearranges the ornaments on a daily basis)

Several years ago my mom came home with a whole slew of ceramic ornaments that she had painted at a Relief Society activity.  I don’t know how many ornaments there were, but I believe I had at least four of them in my possession when Roland and I were married.  The fondest memories are of the Raggedy Anne and the gingerbread man Ornaments.

Mom had wanted me to have Raggedy Anne and Patrick was to have Andy.  But we also got to choose among the remaining how many ever there were. The gingerbread man is the first one I chose.  It had been left on the tree one year when the tree was on the curb.  One of our neighbors mentioned that there were still a few ornaments that were on the tree. 

I was devastated that my gingerbread man had broken in half.  I think it might have actually been the first year he was on the tree.  I glued him back together – and though he’d been somewhat of a sorry sight, I’d kept him around until recently.  I must have finally gotten rid of him as I can’t find him.  I was also willing to throw Anne away on December 9^th of this year after Jenna dropped her on the floor and she broke into three pieces.

Who knows whatever happened to Ann’s partner?  Or if Patrick still has him?  I don’t know.  But we have many ornaments. And true, I did have a sentimental attachment.  But ornaments break.  Life goes on.  I put it in the garbage can and told Jenna I was not/am not mad at her.  It was an accident.  It is okay.

With tears in her eyes, Jenna retrieved the broken pieces from the garbage can.  I explained again that I was not mad.  But she looked up at me and said, “But mama.  This ornament looks just like you and I want to keep it.  Can’t we please glue it back together?”

She’d been talking about the red hair (which is as natural to me as Lucy’s was to her) but I looked down at the broken pieces which symbolically represented the mood I had had all day. 

Roland’s check had gone into the bank and we are strapped – every pay check.  It’s not even going to make it for one week – let alone two. We can never get on top of it – let alone ahead.  And ORS doesn’t take into consideration that our family was on welfare for two years – nor do they care.  We need to hire an attorney – but with what?

We had tried doing without the internet – dropped it three times in fact.  But it’s needed for education.  It’s needed for checking locations and budgeting and looking up needed information.  Access to the Internet is required for filing bankruptcy – seriously.  And it it’s not something that can be done in the allotted time given at the public libraries.

On top of a 14 year old boy  had killedhimself possibly due to being bullied – there is no call for that.  It’s just wrong and senseless and hurtful and mean. I did not know the boy but there is an obvious pain. Not just on his part but that of his family, classmates, the media and so that has also stirred me emotionally as well.

 I am still checking out assisted living and the weather had been gloomy and I was 99% positive that it was that time of the month.  (I was wrong) I haven’t been a Scrooge really – but I have been an emotional wreck.  I’ve been broken. 

I set the ornament aside so that if we ever found the glue (the glue from the glue gun just made it globby and less desirable to look at than the broken pieces) I still don’t think it’s worth saving – but if it makes her feel better, maybe it’ll be worth it.  We can throw it away after the holiday season and perhaps she’ll forget about it by next year. 

Or perhaps I should keep it around as a reminder.  A reminder to pick up the pieces and help lift and repair soles of others who stand in need of comfort.  I need to focus on others’ needs and not just my own.