Alexa, What Day is It?

Like the Holderness Family (here), I have lost track of days.  It did not help matters to see the mail truck come down our street twice yesterday.  Usually the time drags and doesn’t move quickly enough that it would have really been the next day, but I questioned the day when we saw the mail truck the second time.

            I don’t know that I have ever seen the mail truck repeat the route on the same day.  I like to think because I received a package that was so incredible large that there was not enough room in the box for the other three items.  But I think it had more to do with the ambulance across the street.

            That was also a unique situation – not that we hadn’t seen the ambulance at that house before during pandemic but it was the first time we had seen a fire truck pull up behind it with a group of about 5 volunteers gathered behind the ambulance as though they were meeting there for a social and were visiting with one another while waiting for the rest of their brood.  None of them were wearing masks nor were they social distancing. Jenna and I took our walk around the neighborhood after returning the package to the house.

            The package was marked from my middle son and his family.  We read this book after returning home.  

Four hours later we heard the mail truck again.  That’s when I questioned my sanity.  For the most part I do prefer being home – but these last six two and a half almost three years months have felt really long. It’s been worse for my sister, Kayla.  Even Corey, who is more introverted than I, seems worn out from it – but probably because his husband is extraverted.

            Tried adapting a routine.  It didn’t work.  Still have a puzzle left.

thoughts and pictures

        I suppose it's not just my physical body that has changed, but my inner being as well.  I used to like crafts and knit-knacks.  I now think of them as "dust collectors" - too bad.  Jeanie and Biff sent a cute figurine for Mothers' Day.  It really is cute - but I haven't a  clue what to do with it.  Currently it is on a shelf next to a "frog" bank. They both look out of place.

        I don't know where I got it from, but I was a hoarder in my youth.  I'm happy to say those days are gone. What is it that possessed me to hang onto all that/this stuff in the first place.  Let's just get rid of everything!

        In addition to weeding out tangible items, I really need to go through my computer files - particularly my pictures and sort them out.  Kill all duplicates.  I did feel organized at one time.  Apparently it was just that one time.

Roland dug an area and planted watermelon seeds

our spinach and beets have grown

our snowball tree does not appear as vibrant

Roland dug a tree root that's sprouting into another tree

while we wait for the air to cool a bit

We had planted a redwood here; it croaked on us

Let's hope the cherry doesn't do the same thing

took this picture last night; planted this morning 

Umbrella: To Take or Not To Take

Jenna told Roland that I wanted

an umbrella for Mothers’ Day.

It is a Beautiful Umbrella

and big enough for both me and Jenna.

I could have used it two days before Mothers’ Day

but have not had a need for it since.

The sun has been beating down on the earth. 

But there has been a cool breeze that

 makes it all bearable.

The sun is playing hide-and-go-seek

as the clouds pass over

when I look out my back window

the sky tells me that I will need an umbrella

when I leave the house to go get Jenna.

When I look out the front window,

the sun laughs at me and tells me

it will pound down

and make my palms sweat

as I hold my umbrella

and that it will be a burden to carry.

I end up putting my purple umbrella in my back pack –

just in case. 

I never needed it.  
Not for rain anyway.
I did attempt using it as a shield 
to block out the sun - only a short time though 
as I was afraid the wind would blow the spokes 
inside-out.

I did wear my windbreaker though.

This weather is crazy.

The wind is making me physically ill.

kfralc

                           
                                                                                

Perhaps It’s Just Easier to Honor than to Be Honored

          As a child, my perspective of Mothers’ Day was certainly different than it is now.  Mothers’ Day meant going to the store with dad to pick out a gift to give to mom.  Mothers’ Day meant singing to my mom on Sunday.  Mothers’ Day meant going to Grandma’s – often seeing my cousins.  Mothers’ Day meant more than just hot dogs for dinner – though from a child’s point of view that may have been the more satisfactory dinner.

I don’t know how my mom felt about Mothers’ Day.  I think that she enjoyed being honored.  Did she feel honored?  My mom, overall, was a positive person.  I don’t remember when she wasn’t smiling or showed gratitude on Mothers’ Day.  I know she enjoyed being a mother.  And she enjoyed visits from the grandchildren on Mothers’ Day.

Peggy, who lived across the street, loathed Mothers’ Day – or so that seemed to be what was projected.  She was the first person I knew who had a hang-up with what Mothers’ Day was . . . or had become.  I didn’t get it as a child, but as I got older, I also joined in the cynicism. 

Not every Mothers’ Day was a reminder that, “hey, you are single.  You have never dated a guy.  You may very well be motherless throughout all eternity”  but sometimes I thought it was very cool that I was given a chocolate bar or other gift without having to go through labor or wiping noses and such.

I remember Peggy once gave a talk one Mothers’ Day.  She briefly shared her feelings about the holiday and turned her talk into honoring not just mothers but women and “motherly actions” from those who were not mothers in a biological sense.  She used her own daughter as an example.  Though still in grammar school, she had the ability to show a nurturing side.  She took care of an injured bird – despite her brothers’ constant teasing.

There are many who have or are mothers in an estranged relationship.  Just yesterday morning I had read on face book that one of my friends refused to attend Church on Mothers’ Day because of a glorified limelight that often seems to take place over the pulpit but not in her personal life – not even close.  Mothers’ Day can be depressing for many.

I wasn’t in the greatest of moods yesterday.  My back was hurting enough to force me out of bed.  My allergies have come in contact with something that’s bothering.  I don’t know what though.  The past four or five days have been cold and wet and often windy.  I don’t know if that is what is contributing.

I miss my own mom.  I see pictures that my sibs have posted of themselves at mom’s last mothers day or from her funeral.  I am not in any of them.  I was watching Bill’s two when he was taking pictures at the assisted living the week before Mothers’ Day.  Roland and I had left her the cemetery before Bill started taking pictures.  That would mean he’s not in any of the photographs either.

And as I have written in this post, I don’t especially feel worthy of being honored as the expectations I had for myself haven’t quite worked out to my satisfaction.  I wanted to be more like my mom and not the uptight person I have become.  I wanted to have the love and respect that I had shown my own mother.  I’m not saying my own children don’t respect me – but often I don’t feel as though I am.  Then again I suppose it’s possible that my own mother felt the same way. 

I’m thinking that Peggy might have felt the same way that I do.  And yet she has created such a wonderful legacy.  She wasn’t just a mother to her boys – but me and my brother as well.  Or so that’s how I saw it.  I had one biological mother but countless others who had mothered me.  She just happened to be one of them.

I really appreciated the speakers’ words yesterday.  They truly brought in the Spirit as they spoke about women and roles and motherhood that reach beyond those that bear the title “mother”

The first speaker started out her talk recounting the beginning of the Young Women’s theme.  I think that was what she read.  Or reference in a handbook that I just can’t seem to find. The statement was relating the women’s position as a daughter of Heavenly Father.

She asked us to consider six movies: The Wizard of Oz, Star Wars, Despicable Me, Superman, Jungle Book and Spiderman and I can think of a few others she didn’t mention, like Tarzan for instance.  What do all of these shows have in common?  The main characters were raised by “other mothers” who could still care for and nurture without haven given birth.  Though she honored her own mother and mother-in-law, her talk seemed to focus mostly around these “other mothers” which really impressed me.  I think my facebook friend would have found comfort in her talk.

The second speaker continued with the “other mother” theme and praised women and their sense of being and the diversity between men and women and though they may never truly understand one another, there is a greatness in being a woman or knowing women for he has learned a lot from all the women in his life and is grateful for what he has learned and continues to learn from each of them – not just his mother or wife.

I miss my mom so much.  But it was a nice send off really.  I look at my daughter-in-law, Rochelle, who lost her mom only two months after she and Tony were married.  They were living in Texas when her mother passed away in Utah.  She had such a great mom.  All of my daughters do.

And then there’s this story that may put a scar on so many who knew this women, particularly her children who lost their mother so close to Mothers’ Day.  What a painful memory.  Makes my last post about segregating Mothers’ Day seem so ignorant.

I don’t remember the weather so cold on Mothers’ Day as it was for us yesterday.  The sun is shining now, but the air is cold still. 

Two of my boys stopped by and we played games.  That was the highlight of Mothers’ Day.  Playing games with my family.

I Understand the Desire for Those Who Wish to Segregate Mothers’ Day

I understand the desire for those who wish to segregate Mothers’ Day

Jenna asks, “What would you like for Mothers’ Day?”

“I would like you to clean your room?”

“No, really.  What do you want?”

“That is what I want.  To have my daughter show me some responsibility.”

“Mooooommmm.”

Are you honoring my motherhood?  What are we celebrating exactly?  Taking a break from the dishes and finding them in the sink on Monday is NOT taking a break.  I don’t even think half the chores I do is what makes up a mother.

I am certainly not a housewife.  I did not tie the knot with any building – especially this one.  I’ve looked into home improvement.  But the expenses all add up and I need to budget for just one thing at a time – not empty out my bank account and then some.

They got me chocolates.  I know because Jenna told me.  She and her friend were wrapping the boxes and came to me to ask my permission if they could have one.

“Enjoy your gift.  The chocolates were delicious.  Here is a box you might like to use for stationary.”

Jenna really wants to surprise me – really wants me to enjoy this “holiday”.  She practiced throwing confetti at me this morning.  Granted, it was a cute idea on her part.  Very colorful.  Also very messy.  And guess who gets to clean it up?  Mother.

When my own mom would get me gifts for Christmas or my birthday or whatever, she would ask, “What would you like?”

Sometimes I was specific.  More often than not I would say, “to be surprised” I rarely was.

Mothers’ Day started out as a holiday to honor a specific mother and then it grew.  I think at one point in history maybe it really was a special holiday and did honor mothers – maybe not all mothers.  There’s always those who feel left out – who don’t feel honored though the system tries.

“You’re not a mother.  Perhaps you never will be.  But here’s a rose to say we care.  Here’s a plaque to always remind you of the commercialism involved. But then I guess that’s with any holiday.  Commercial desecration.

I mean some places have a ligament claim – such as Hallmark.  But I personally don’t know any “mothers” who find anything appealing about Henry’s smoke shop.

I find amusement in sitcoms such as the Middle or Everybody Loves Raymond when the Mothers’ Day outcome really isn’t that great at honoring mother yet capture the role of a mother.  Most sitcoms show the hoopla ends up creating more work.  And dad as well as kids seem oblivious to the true emotions of the mother who just assume NOT be honored if it’s just going to create more work.

So Happy Mothers’ Day to those of you who truly feel honored and glorified on your special day.  To the rest of us: Happy Human Day.  At least we’ve got that in common.

 

Mothers' Day 2013

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If God should ever show off his sense of humor by calling me to the RS presidency, I am going to make certain there is a generous amount of space between each chair.  No smashing chairs together as tight as possible so that each sister feels as though she’s sitting on the lap of another.  No siree Bob.

I didn’t think it was possible, but chairs seemed a lot more smashed in yesterday.  I guessed it was the priesthood who somehow believed the sisters like things tight – the tighter the better.  They somehow believed that we enjoy sitting in one another’s laps.  Roland told me he had taken charge.  Oh, that explains it.  My husband, the eternal optimist who was hoping to set up for at least two hundred sisters had managed to squeeze in 85 chairs.

The bishop conducted.  And after we all went up to get our breakfast (they had provided us with fruit and muffins) the second counselor taught the lesson.  This is the second year when the priesthood has given the sisters a break from their callings.  I think that's a great Mother's Day gift.

The Elders were in the primary room conducting and teaching and evidently learning one of the song that that the primary would be singing during Sacrament meeting. 

When the children were invited to the stand during Sacrament meeting they sang three numbers – the third was a song that is done in parts.  They sang the first part and then the second part.  I was wondering how they would perform both parts at the same time.  And then the priesthood stood up.  They sang the second part while the children resang the first.  It was awesome.

Tony and Rochelle presented me flowers, a plaque and card.  The card says: Mother’s Day is a chance for us to treat you like a queen! 

Inside: A queen with really lazy subjects who don’t listen very well.

Made me laugh.

The plaque says: Good Mothers have sticky floors, dirty ovens and happy kids.

This morning Biff made biscuits and gravy for mother’s day breakfast.

In my email inbox was a special treat from Corey.  He sent the thoughts mom had written in her journal describing each of her children.  I appreciate mom more with each passing day.

The Third Petal of the Forget-me-not

          Roland had been in charge of putting together the  Mothers’ Day program last week.  It was AWESOME – one of the most amazing Mothers’ Day programs that I remember.

          It was based on Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk from the September 2011 Relief Society Meeting.  The theme of the talk was based upon the “Forget-me-not” and five pieces of advice that we should not forget.

          Roland introduced the theme of Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk and introduced those who would be speaking.

The first speaker shared with us a bit about his childhood.  He has seven siblings.  All eight children were expected to play a musical instrument. The first petal was to “forget not to be patient with yourself”.  No one is perfect, even though there are many who may appear so.  The first speaker reminded us of patience.

I unfortunately don’t remember a lot of what the second speaker said.  His assigned topic was to forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.  He related experiences from his childhood in which his mother had made sacrifices for one reason or another – for the good of the family.

Then there was the musical number.  Practically every Melchezedik Priesthood holder in attendance came up to the stand and sang a medley of songs dedicated to mother.  It was awesome!

My most favorite talk – perhaps because of the way it was delivered – came from the third speaker.  Forget not to be happy now.  The speaker related Pres. Uchtdorf’s comparison of the “golden ticket” sought after by so many children in the story of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” – so busy with trying to find the gold that they’d forgotten to enjoy the chocolate.

          We need to be happy in the moment in which we’re living instead of constantly looking ahead with the decision of becoming happy for what’s ahead.  We may never be happy if we continue looking to what might be instead of rejoicing in what we have now.

The forth speaker put enthusiasm into his delivery as well.  Forget not the “why” of the gospel.  Sometimes – perhaps often – in our daily routines, the vital aspects of the gospel are unintentionally overlooked. 

As with the first speaker, this one was also “forced” into piano lessons – though he did not appreciate or pursued.  He loves listening to his mom play the piano.  He says he and his dad will turn the television down or off just to hear her play.

The last speaker summarized Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk.  Forget not that the Lord loves you.  There may be times when we may feel insignificant in comparison with others.  Retold the story (or legend) that Pres. Uchtdorf related about the forget-me-not flower.  What a beautiful talk. 

You can find Pres. Uchtdorf’s entire talk here.