I'm Writing in First Person

          My head has all these half baked ideas slowly making their way to paper and even slower to the computer.  I did listen to most of conference and have comments about various talks.  Roland has finished his schooling and I feared he might become board, but we have projects lined up with even greater interruptions which I am hoping to explain.

          I'm certain that I mentioned somewhere that I am a slow reader and an even slower processor.  I'm grateful that I have only one class this time around as it looks like it will be a challenge. The material isn't necessarily boring as much as it is time consuming.  The class itself is on investments and the first week specifically covers real estate and property ownership and what all is included.  Fortunately I have Roland to help me.

          There are many terms I don't know, many laws I don't understand.  Of course "possession" varies from state to state.  For instance, Myrtle Creek is much more lenient about property rights and interference than was Salt Lake.  For instance properties must be maintained in all the cities within Salt Lake County, although I think there are some cities that are stricter than others and possibly send enforcers around with a ruler to measure each lawn to make certain that the grass has been cut down to the very inch it should be.  I know people who have been cited for "overgrown" lawns and weeds. In this part of Oregon, we are not even supposed to mow our lawns during fire season - which often includes more than just the months of summer. 

          Thus far my assignments have had to be 600+ words, but this time around I'm expected to have 750+.  I can do that if I use personal examples as I have many of them.  Trying include personal examples written in third person just feels weird.  The instructions don't say it has to be in third person. So I'm doing it in first. I'll let you know how it goes provided that I can find the time.  I hope to blog more about what seems important to me and don't have to neglect it researching a topic that I don't find as interesting.

Thank You for Your Wisdom, Donna Voss

            About half the blogs I read are by friends or relatives that I know.  But once in a while I am drawn to one that either someone else has recommended or one that I have come across myself.  Such is the case with Donna Carol Voss.  She posts to this blog usually once a week on Sunday.

            I used to leave comments, but now she has a no reply and I haven’t been able to leave comments – not that my comments are important.  So many of her posts just resonate with me.  I just want to be able to tell her that.  Express to her how much I value her opinion.

            I absolutely love the unconditional love that she expresses for each of her children and for those who are not members of the Church and being careful not to use labels and very accepting of those who fall away from the Church.  She has such a great perspective on life and values.  I particularly like her posts written on July 20, 27 and August 2. 

            Often there are members of the Church who look down on those who have left the Church and seem to lack understanding or don’t even try.  Wouldn’t it be great if we all had the same outlook on life as she does?

Missing R and Number 3

     

I am currently using an ancient Mac laptop – one that was purchased at a pawnshop at what we believed was a reasonable price.  Roland needed it for his class.  Frustration set in as he toyed with this problem for more than a year.

     The keys on the top row would stick.  Well, 1-6 did.  It was okay.  He didn’t need the numbers.  But when the top row of letters (particularly the e, r and t) started sticking – well, that was a problem.  Most often, the keyboard from the computer was plugged into the unit.

     We took it in to be serviced.  Less than a month later, the “r” key started sticking again and is often missed into the words now, unless one pounds on it.  So often when I am typing, the “r” doesn’t make it into my word.  It can be frustrating.

     A spell check will usually pick up on my missing “r”s, but it will never catch my missing “3”s. Nor does it catch words like “bother”, “dove”, and “dive” when I am really writing “brother”, “drove” and “diver”.

     The 3/# doesn’t stick.  In the case of the 3/#, it was the actual button fell off.  We still have the key, but I find it easier to hit the white peg from underneath than to try to push it through the broken 3/# tile.  And so often when I am using the numbers (I actually use the number pad when using a regular keyboard) on the laptop, my “3”’s don’t make it in either.

Roland doesn’t even use this laptop anymore.  He’s “borrowing” a more updated laptop – for two more months.  Only two more months to go and he will be finished with his schooling – and hopefully he will be able to get a job in which he can use his degree.

Just thought I would mention my missing “r” button.  Perhaps you have run across some posts on this blog that don’t quite make sense.  I’m just giving a suggestion as to a possibility.

Postcomment for Jake Abhau: - A Mormon Dad of a Gay Teen

While I was reading  this post, my mind flooded with ideas for a comment I might leave – but there were too many thoughts racing through my mind that my fingers couldn’t keep up with what I thought I wanted to say – so while trying to condense my comment (so that it did not come out to be longer than the Jake’s post) I made errors with spelling and smooth transitions.  My comment sounded disjointed and stupid – to me anyway. 

Perhaps not all of it sounded unpolished and sloppy.  My thoughts were flying faster than I could get the words out. When I reread through the first comment that I left, I realize I should have just stopped at the second paragraph. I copied the first two paragraphs and deleted my original comment and tried again – with just the two paragraphs and a link for my brother’s blog. I’d like to share my ideas and hope that they are valid and helpful.  But I don’t want to sound preachy.

Some of the thoughts that went through my mind were words I had already written in such posts found here, here and here among several others.  I had also thought about the lesson given in Relief Society, several of Corey’s posts, and a talk I had given in Sacrament meeting.

The lesson in Relief Society was chapter 15 of Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow in which we learn that sometimes things don’t go as we had planned but that we need to make the best of it and realize that perhaps that was part of the plan all along – that Pres. Snow was destined to be in Malta rather than India, that we ourselves may have another mission that doesn’t seem compatible with what we’ve been taught all of our lives.

Corey had been taught to go on a mission, get married in the temple, honor his priesthood, etc. etc.  But that isn’t the path he chose for himself – nevertheless believed it was expected.  And then God allowed for Corey and Joh to cross paths.  Corey is now on a mission through his blog.  He has a strong testimony of the Church gospel.  But he also values gay awareness. 

My belief is that his calling right now is to assist in bridging that gap between the LDS Church and the LGBT community.  But his records had to be removed from the Church in order to get the following that he did (and continues to get) And I think he has done an amazing job – though that was not his intent.  Corey is a happy and complete person – neither of which existed before he came out – before he found Joh.

I gave a talk in Church.  The subject I had been given was on forgiveness.  I didn’t want to come right out and say, “Corey, I’ve been assigned a talk.  Allow me to be your proxy; you write the talk and I will give it.” Though that is what I wanted to do.  I emailed the three paragraphs which I had been given and told him that I needed to make a talk out of it and was looking for his ideas – which he shared.  But not a complete talk’s worth.

Ironically about half of my talk came from some of the posts that he had created about a friend who had been sent to prison.  So unbeknownst to him, I actually did make most of it his talk rather than my own.  Just because he’s been excommunicated doesn’t mean his relationship with God is over.  Quite the contrary.  It has gotten stronger.

We don’t always understand why we’ve been given certain trials.  We don’t often understand why God would give a commandment (“Thou shalt not kill” for example) that we accept and imbed into our brains and strongly agree with and then tells someone (Nephi, for example) “Kill Laban” and we’re like “What?”

There are some people who I believe have been chosen – yes “chosen” to marry outside of their faith or not serve a mission or leave the Church to build strength in either their own character or become an example for others to follow.  I truly believe that. 

I do have a testimony of this church gospel.  I do.  But I have strayed from the strict teachings I grew up with and have ventured outside the box into a world where I want to understand others – what their viewpoints are.  And I’m seeing the flaws of men – mankind who are church goers – some are Pharisees, some try their hardest to fit into the perfect Mormon mold, and others explore.  There are some mighty strong members who have strayed and returned – and then there are others (like my brother) who remain strong but cannot return – at least for the time being.

I think so many of us feel discrimination at one time or another.  And yet Jesus did not or does not discriminate.  So why is it we may feel that when we are attending His Church?  Because there is still leadership run by imperfect men.  None of us is perfect.  We're not expected to be perfect in this earth life - just to stay on the path that will lead to perfection. God isn't going to discriminate because Jordan is gay - just as he will not discriminate against my bother. It's his mission. You can see it in his blog.

I hope that Jake does not give up on the Church.  But I do understand where he is coming from.  The Church teaches values.  It builds foundation. But it is hard to live the concept of “Families are Forever” and then have imperfect leaders tell us that unless we repent of the unrepentable that we can’t be together forever.  We have to have hope and faith and realize that God’s love and perfection is so much mightier than any man’s.

Never Judge a Book by Its Cover

Another example that illustrates the title of my blog

what lies beneath could bear an element of surprise

Beneath the Wraps

Explaining Blogs

          When Corey started his Blog over six years ago, he gave himself a false identity.  He’s since been discovered by some, and I know from my own mouth there are even more that know the nature of his true identity.  However, because he hadn’t revealed his true identity on his Blog (there are certain individuals he still feel might need protection having their real identities revealed out of connection) I decided to keep mine anonymous also.

          I have changed the names of most of those I have or will mention.  I started out using “Cody” instead of “Corey” but “Cody” was/is his name, not mine.  So I changed it.  And now it doesn’t seem to matter one way or another.  He’s out and those mentioned may not need his protection anymore – though he continues with his name and only partial pictures.

I also keep myself anonymous for fact that Roland’s ex-wife is a sue happy individual – and I’ll leave it at that. 

          I often write things that sound a bit odd to me and ask for Corey’s assistance on changing the wording or grammar or whatever.  One was the idea for a post that I didn’t think I would ever post.  But he told me I should and asked if he could borrow some of it for his own Blog.  I was flattered.

          So I added two pages to the two pages I had already sent over.  I created a post and attached it on February 26, 2012.  I was surprised to see that Corey posted the entire thing instead of just “some of it” as I thought.  He called it “My Sister’s words and an Endorsement” I had called it “We all Feel Excluded atTimes”

          At the End of Corey’s post, he refers to my Blog as a point of Interest.  That was nice of him.  So it’s provided a little bit of exposure – though it may have without his mentioning it in his post – because the name of my Blog appears in his side bar as one that he follows.

          I have followed a couple of blogs that have stopped.  Life got in the way for one – and pressing issues for another who has to sort out a mess that was created and somehow relates to her blog and so she is waiting for the right time to change everything to something better and hopefully more secure.

Both have had guest bloggers.  The latter said she was searching for humorous stories and has always given me credit for the ones she has used. It’s an honor having been mentioned on a few blogs themselves and not just in the comments.

I would also like to thank those who have commented thus far.  When my window says, “You’ve Got Mail!”  it’s nice to see it is a comment from an actual person and not just another advertisement.  Thank you Corey, Heather and Kris.

Posts that Inspire

          Recently I was googling Individual Worth in search for a proper definition to use in one of my posts.  As I went searching I pulled up a few blog sites with inspiring stories which I would like to share and reference.

          I came across an object lesson given by Stephanie Waite in which she laid out various belongings on a table and asked her class what each object was worth and what made them valuable.  Some of the objects were perhaps expensive things and some objects may have been more valuable to one than to another.  But the particular object that may have seemed worthless to most individuals was probably the most valuable thing on the table in the eyes of its initial owner.

          It actually reminded me of an object that is close to Jenna – a stuffed dog she’s had since she was 6 months old – though the toy itself looks like he’s been around much longer than she has. It’s been restuffed twice and has had matted hair cut off – never to grow back again.  But Jenna loves it.  It’s her baby.  It’s her lifelong friend.

          Recently she allowed her cousin to “borrow” it – a huge sacrifice on her part.  But Kayla (my sister) was not all that thrilled about inviting Jenna’s beat up toy (which really is clean – but appears to be unkempt) into her house and chose to leave it in the trunk of her car.

          What makes something or someone valuable?  Love?  The kind of love that makes you valuable no matter what.  No matter how beaten or ratty (inside or out)  I loved her post.  I loved her explanation.  And you can read the full post here. 

          Stephanie’s last post referred me to another blog.  I read a post that could fall into the category of Choice and Accountability.  What a tough decision to be made – and yet what remarkable faith and strength that would help so many others.

          Collin Presley had health problems from the time he was born.  He outlived his disease by twelve years (from my understanding) but died shortly after a new medication was given. 

          Their first thought was to sue the doctor.  Collin still had life with the old medication.  Surely someone had to blamed for Collin’s death – but an autopsy would have to be preformed to provide proof.  Doing an autopsy would upset the organs which the family wanted to donate to those who were still fighting the fight.  A battle with attorneys would have been so costly.  It wouldn’t bring Collin back.  On the flip side his organs could be donated and bring life to others.  That was the choice they faced.  You can read more of their story in this post though I recommend venturing even further with prior posts

          Katy Pluim amazes me with her short sweet posts as she deals with having only one arm.  I am so impressed with the things that she has taught herself that I struggle with having two arms.  She is a beautiful person with a husband and a three year old (almost three) daughter.  Here is one of her earlier posts on dealing.

Unfortunately I did not copy the reference for this next story.  I tried going back to my initial research and to Google–ing with the given subject, but more sites were brought up than I cared to wade through.  My apologies to the blogger (though there are many more resources for this particular story:

“More than one hour after the gold-medal athlete had crossed the finish line during the marathon in the 1968 Summer Olympics in Mexico City, John Stephen Akhwari of Tanzamia entered the stadium.  Only a few spectators remained as the lone runner appeared.  The athlete’s leg was injured and bleeding.  He was dehydrated and confuse.  As he crossed the finish line, the small crowd cheered in appreciation for what would become one of the most famous last-place finishes in history. But it wasn’t the runner’s performance that caught their attention – and the attention of thousands more during the almost five decades since.  It was his desire to finish the race, to endure to the end.  After the event in 1968, a reporter asked the runner why he had not quit the race since he had no chance of winning. The Tanzanian athlete was confused.  “My country did not send me to Mexico City to start the race,” he replied.  “They sent me to finish”

I actually shared this next story in Relief Society when the instructor asked the class for comments about Integrity.  What goes around comes around.  I think this is a really great example.

And finally one idea to teach in classrooms – though children are more accepting and perhaps this ought to be applied to all adults as well  Stop the bullying already. We are all different.  Embrace the differences.   

          How great it is to have so many great insights and so many who support one another through their blogs and create ideas and share.  Thank you!

The Idea Drawer

I may have mentioned before that even though I hadn’t officially started Blogging until the beginning of this year, I had ideas of what I would post – and sometimes I would complete my thoughts and mark it as ready-to-share while others still remain in the undeveloped idea mode.

I keep a list on file stored and tucked away until I can find the right words. Sometimes I will be inspired to visit one of my ideas and will add to it or change it around or combine it with another idea that I had.  And some I wonder if I will end up posting at all. Some I’ve actually deleted.

Most of the time I have posted, I have used the copy and paste method.  There were two times I posted directly.  From my perspective the direct post always seems to come out in microscopic form.  I prefer the font I have used with Microsoft word which I can read without trying to blow up the font size (as I often do with lengthy emails that I’ve received)

I sent one of my ideas to Corey.  He not only encouraged me to post it, he asked if he could use it in one of his posts.  Now that is really flattering.  Because it has always been me who has gone to Corey – except for two years which will be explained in the next post WE ALL FEEL EXCLUDED AT TIMES.

I like having an idea drawer that I can draw from.

Introduction: Beneath the Wraps

          I had once heard a story of a racist who was sent to a burn center for her condition.  Life had dealt her a bum deal.  She was in constant pain. She was bitter. And she made it no secret about how she felt.  She quickly gained a reputation in the burn center because of her ill mannered behavior.

          All the patients wore bandages – some more than others...  They were all burn victims.  None was able to escape his or her circumstances due to race, religion, or possession of money. They all had to be treated.

In time this women was befriended by another patient who was certainly in far worse shape than she – he looked like a mummy as he appeared to be covered with bandages from head to toe.  And yet he had such a great outlook on life.  He taught her how to cope, to listen, and to live.  She enjoyed their visits together and would look forward to the next time they would talk. She had developed a love for her new friend. Perhaps she saw him as a father figure.

          After a few months the man’s bandages were removed. It wasn’t until then that the woman realized that the man was a different race than she.  She was confused.  All of her life she had been taught to hate, or fear, or resist or whatever – for whatever reason.  And yet this man had been so kind to her.  He had taught her.  He had been her friend.  Would she really give all that up just because she was a racist?

So often we refuse to listen to the thoughts or ideas of another because his or her beliefs are not the same as our own.  So often we place judgments upon appearance.  So often we assume that an individual is represented by his or her entire race or even a name and therefore must possess certain character trait. 

          A name? Really?  Have we become such a petty society that we would actually treat another differently based upon his or her name? How many people choose their names?  Honestly?  Oh, there’re a small handful that have their names legally changed for whatever reason – but most everybody I know did not pick out the name he or she was given – either first or last.

          Nicknames are different.  They are earned playfully or maliciously based upon one character trait or a piece of personality – but nicknames still do not define a person’s entire being.  And being related to an individual might account for some personality attributes – but being related does not take away from one’s individualism.

I often enjoy reading the introduction to different Blogs – why the title of the Blog is so named and how it relates to the Blogger.  My Blogger name comes from the story that I just shared. At this point I don’t want just anybody looking at it.  I don’t want to invite the entire public – but I don’t necessarily want to make it a secret either. 

 My brother has an anonymous blog.  It’s quite profound and well written.  There is actually a large handful of people who are aware of his real identity. A neighbor had read some of his posts and had asked my mom, “Does Corey have a Blog?”  Not that my mom was the right person to question – as she didn’t even know what a Blog was.  Mom is the one who told me about Corey’s Blog – which in turn introduced me into the Blogging world.

I notice the Blogs that I seem to enjoy most have started out as a therapeutic method for the Blogger – at least in Corey’s case it did. After a couple of years he came to terms that made him feel that he didn’t need to Blog anymore – but he gained many followers in the meantime who weren’t anxious about seeing Corey take flight.  He’s part of a support group.  They need to read his words.  I need to read them.  He is so good at explaining things and has such an awesome gift with words, it would be a shame to all of us if the Blog were to go away.

I am not near as gifted with words – though I have had many people advice me to start my own blog because “I could really help people”. I suppose that each of us is titled to his or her own opinion. Perhaps some posts may be profound – others may not have meaning – just opinions.  My opinion.  And some will be written for my own therapeutic needs. So there you go. 

I don’t have permission from anybody to use his or her real name in my Blog – though I don’t guess many of them would care either way.  It’s not that I’m trying to keep my Blog a secret.  In actuality I would like to be discovered.  But I want to introduce myself and my subjects subtly – and there may be some who will figure me out and many more that will never know even when and if my identity is revealed.

I actually have a rather common name – too common.  But for the sake of my Blog I will be known as LaTiesha Cannon – no particular reason.  I just like the sound. My husband is Roland and our daughter is Jenna.  All other associations will be introduced as I go.  Have fun with it or ignore it completely. But please be respectful.  Thanks.