Happy Anniversary

          On Tuesday Richard cut his finger. We took him to the Veterans’ clinic where he received treatment.

          He had been in a hurry and the saw had grazed his bone.  He did not have to have stitches.

          I had offered to take food to a member of our ward though I had forgotten.  I should have set an alarm to remind me.

          I received a message from another when Richard and I were finishing up our celebratory meal.

          My phone does not tell me what time the text was sent but rather what time it was opened by me.  How lame is that?

          I had opened upon receiving but evidently it had been sent at least 20 minutes before I received it. 

          Long enough for the other (who was dropping off the food to me and I would take it the rest of the way – for she didn’t know where he lived and is having financial issues.  The one receiving the meal lives off grid and signal is lost before one is even halfway to his house from the exit) to deliver the meal herself.  So she was out of pocket when I called her back.

          Richard was told to take it easy.  He wasn’t sure whether he had the strength to vendor or not.  He had changed his mind twice within the hour.

          The truck wouldn’t start.  A sign to stay home and take it easy.  I would not allow Richard in the shed to work on projects or in the kitchen to bake. 

          He was told to keep his finger elevated.  I told him to stay on the couch and not work.

          Such a man child.  We went to the movies just before 5:00.  Celebrated our wedding anniversary watching “Coyote vs. Acme”.  I liked it.  Much much better than Roger Rabbit.

          Today Richard worked in the shed.  NOT taking it easy despite my advice.  He got sick and worn out.

          Too many reminders of love and pain.

3 anniversarys: fantastic, melancholy and tragic

                My brother no longer posts to his blog but has left MANY detailed posts on his facebook page.  Yesterday was a tribute to mom and some to himself for the grief of her loss.  He said he’d almost forgotten that it was 13 years ago yesterday.  His final note (after providing a detailed account of her final stages of life) was “hearts and wounds heal with time and that life continues moving forward”.

          Am I a terrible person for forgetting when she died?  She passed the day after Richard and I celebrated our 12^th wedding anniversary.  We were married two days prior to the bombing of the twin towers in New York – a day when our nation seemed to pull together to show their support.  A time when Rudy Giuliani cared about his city and seemed to be loved and respected.

          Having mom pass was disheartening, but I don’t think as disheartening as having her forget.  Having her mind in a different world apart from our own reality.  I remember that first week after we had checked her in. I remember watching a health-care worker spoon feeding one of the residents – the way one would a toddler in a high chair.  I was saddened by the sight thinking my mom would be in that position one day.  But she wasn’t.  She passed before going through all the stages.  I was glad of that.  I was happy to not have to see her being spoon fed.  I wasn’t happy that she had passed – but we had all lost her long before then.  Dementia had robbed us all.

          Three anniversaries in a row.  A great one for me and Richard.  A mixed-emotion one for my family.  A devastating one for the nation – though we do have a few positive results – the overall reasoning is just so heartbreaking.