Wednesday, September 11, 2024

3 anniversarys: fantastic, melancholy and tragic

                My brother no longer posts to his blog but has left MANY detailed posts on his facebook page.  Yesterday was a tribute to mom and some to himself for the grief of her loss.  He said he’d almost forgotten that it was 13 years ago yesterday.  His final note (after providing a detailed account of her final stages of life) was “hearts and wounds heal with time and that life continues moving forward”.

          Am I a terrible person for forgetting when she died?  She passed the day after Richard and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary.  We were married two days prior to the bombing of the twin towers in New York – a day when our nation seemed to pull together to show their support.  A time when Rudy Giuliani cared about his city and seemed to be loved and respected.

          Having mom pass was disheartening, but I don’t think as disheartening as having her forget.  Having her mind in a different world apart from our own reality.  I remember that first week after we had checked her in. I remember watching a health-care worker spoon feeding one of the residents – the way one would a toddler in a high chair.  I was saddened by the sight thinking my mom would be in that position one day.  But she wasn’t.  She passed before going through all the stages.  I was glad of that.  I was happy to not have to see her being spoon fed.  I wasn’t happy that she had passed – but we had all lost her long before then.  Dementia had robbed us all.

          Three anniversaries in a row.  A great one for me and Richard.  A mixed-emotion one for my family.  A devastating one for the nation – though we do have a few positive results – the overall reasoning is just so heartbreaking. 



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