Living Sci-Fi Continues

          From the beginning of the pandemic, the horrific pictures in the media, the stay-at-home and lock down orders, mask mandates, verbal battles, etc. has been a reminder to some cheesy sci-fi that gets played on the Comet station.  Only we are really living it – though some are still in denial about it doesn’t change that it is and has been part of our lives for one to two years.         

        Jenna is currently in the high school library with a bunch of other students who have not yet received their schedules.  At least she’s not alone.  She has always been enthusiastic and fired to return to school – even last year when I wouldn’t let her.  This year is worse than last year was – more deaths, more cases.  That is why she doesn’t have a schedule and is in the library waiting. 

photo credit source here

         We had recently discussed how each generation has had its challenges.  She wishes she could experience the childhood that I did – back in the day before school shootings were all too common.  Back in a day when there were definite roles between men and women.  A day without internet.  People somehow seemed more humane and kindness mattered in the business world – at least if you were white.  I think there may be a large number of non-whites who would describe my childhood days with a different description. 

photo credit source here

        I have been on my knees pleading with the Lord that Jenna may make it through her senior year with the same attitude she has always had prior to COVID.  If she does happen to wear a smile no one will be able to see it unless there’s a twinkle in her eyes – which comes and goes.  I suspect it has in all of us.

photo credit source here

Set Backs

Jenna starts school tomorrow and had hoped to have less hair to deal with.  I had set up an appointment for each of us to get our hair thinned out – though I wondered if it we better just to recreate the pandemic hair from last year.

Because we were already out and Jenna hadn’t gotten the schedule that would supposedly be sent out by August 27 (that was the original plan anyway. Tomorrow is the first day of school and no schedule has been identified. I told Jenna we could swing by the high school to see if we could figure out the source of the problem.

 Walking to the school from the street made for an interesting challenge all by itself.  This is a view of the high school parking lot:

I seriously have my doubts about this being finished tonight
and ready for the students who drive to school tomorrow.

 COVID is the source of vacant schedules. Only the freshmen who started today have the schedules.  Still working on grades 10 – 12) After I returned home, I posted the picture to facebook and proposed this question: “I wonder if administration and construction will hold a competition: Which will be done first? The parking lot or the student schedules?”

The smoke continues to envelop our community.  The stars have not been visible the last couple of nights.  The hills appear to have been swallowed.  This road which runs alongside the high school seems to be a drop off into the unknown.

Oh, That's Not Good

     Jenna and I both need our hair thinned.  I called the hair salon just the other day to learn that they are shut right now due to COVID, but do plan to reopen.  Well, great.  Do I even want to go anymore - although the last time we went, it was just the three of us there.

    A lot of businesses have closed due to staff members testing positive.  Businesses that are open are short-staffed.  I don't think any of us should be shopping anyway.  Unless it's essential - like toiletries and medicine.

    Jenna was supposed to start high school on the 31st this month.  A reminder was sent out last week on the 19th.  Yesterday we found this post: 

    Oh, please.  Jenna could have finished her schooling last year at ORCA but had wanted the opportunity of socializing with her friends once again.  I wonder how many of them will make it to graduation.  I wonder if there will be a graduation.

Head or Tails: Introvert or Ambivert

I have always considered myself an introvert – well maybe not always.  I was evidently extroverted in my early childhood.  School changed that.  School was not a good experience overall. I felt excluded and found myself withdrawn from wanting to be a part of life.

                            Illustration by Joshua Seong. © Verywell, 2018.

I remember being comfortable in the company of certain adults and grew to accept those who were decades older than me or several years younger than myself.  It was a long time before I was comfortable with any peers of my own age.  I never liked crowds or artificial people.  I enjoy learning but not in a structured environment.  I am better at learning when it isn’t a requirement.

I didn’t realize that it was possible to meet in the middle as AMBIVERT exists in the middle of introvert and extravert.  I am Ambivert.  Or have been at least.  Lately I realize just how much of a recluse I have become during this pandemic.  

I don’t like to go shopping.  Roland usually makes a day of it.  Four to six hours in Roseburg.  I’d rather write, organize, read, hang with Bonnie, scrapbook or sleep.  I really don’t like being around people right now – masks or not.  Don’t breathe on me.  Don’t look at me.  I would just assume find a sink hole and have the earth swallow me up.

I’ve attended a few meetings with either a small amount of sisters, missionary meetings, leadership meetings and lately the Book of Mormon class as the missionary meeting time has been changed to Wednesdays after Book of Mormon instead of Sundays in order for patrons to be corralled out and away from the building.  Sundays still feel empty sitting in spaced pews with our masks on – though I have enjoyed the messages which have been delivered.

But one morning meeting with the sisters was uncomfortable just because we were so near the freeway and I could not hear the discussion.  When I turned up my hearing aid it only enhanced the traffic sounds.

The first Book of Mormon class had us spread out and we discussed conference.  I didn’t mind that.  However young women have their activity at the same time.  Lots of youth.  Little in the way of masks.  What - are they immune?  We traded rooms for the last one.  I felt too cramped and left after only a few minutes.  I went outside and walked around just to get some fresh air.  I don’t think I cough as hard when I’m standing up as I do when I’m sitting down.

I really don’t wish to be with people anymore – or perhaps my brain is just trying to convince me so that Sundays won’t seem so dismal.  I think I’m losing my ambivert traits and am becoming withdrawn again.  I am not a depressed.  Depression is not necessarily connected to introvertism just as seeking recognition is not necessarily a part of extrovertism.  There are many times I prefer solitude.  It has always been easier to be by myself than with a group of people I don’t really feel connected to. I do tend to get depressed sometimes when I am in a crowd.

Fires Continue

 

The air quality was down this morning. 

I forgot to see what rating  - moderate. 

I went to the Church to pick up Jenna. 

I took the dog and had her out of the

car when the kids came out of the

building from seminary. 

They all gave the dog attention. 

Today is the last day that they

will visit as three of them will start

at the high school tomorrow.

 

I know that Jenna feels bad that she

won’t be returning with them. 

She is frustrated with the online classes. 

But flu season is coming up in addition

to Corona.  The air quality hasn’t been great

I just checked it and it’s worse than it was

yesterday.  How can that be? 

I had drawn back the curtains and could

see the hills better than just the outline that

was provided yesterday. 

I can feel and see the thick smoke again. 

The air quality report has us back up to

hazardous.  My curtains are closed again.

 

Returning to school will not be the same

for anybody.  I am anxious to hear what

Jenna learns from her seminary classmates. 

She may feel like she has it better. 

I told her if her situation doesn’t improve by

Christmas break or if there are no

problems with her former school

 I will return her to the high school she

was attending. 

I hope there are no problems between

now and Christmas break

but I foresee the schools shutting down again

before the end of November. 

I hope I am wrong.

Now It Seems So Final

         I’ve seen memory posts about walking Jenna to preschool and kindergarten – some comments about those who cried when they had to leave their child.  I didn’t cry when we lived in Kearns.  I did when we moved to West Valley.  Jenna was still in kindergarten in a school that wasn’t academically challenging.  She would cry as we walked to the bus stop and I would cry when I turned around to come home.

          Rather than torture us both by returning her to that elementary school I put her in a dual immersion program (here).  I cried again when she started sixth grade in Oregon and no longer a part of dual immersion.  This year it doesn’t seem to matter if she stayed with dual immersion or not. This year has been tough.

          I may have mentioned that I signed her up for online schooling which will start by the end of this month. She would rather be with her friends – but she won’t be happy with the new environment that is part of the school curriculum.   When the schools closed in March and she had online learning she really wasn’t challenged.  I’m sure the district did the best they could with the resources they had – working harder than when the students were in school.  I think Oregon Charter Academy will be a better fit for her at this time.

          Anyway we were contacted yesterday to submit her transcript.  The person I had to talk to was out of the office and so I left a message and said I would email her the request.  I told her how much I have enjoyed the district but with this odd year I think it best not to continue though the online learning they have available may be better than what was offered in April and May – but I don’t know.  I just felt this other option was the way to go.

          She returned my email with a reply for my kind words and Jenna’s transcript which I forwarded to the principal of Oregon Charter Academy. There are still tears in my eyes as I write this as it feels so permanent.  She has two years left.  I don’t know if she’ll return to South Umpqua or not.  And it hurts.

In the News

                When the schools initially closed, the staff had given the students the impression that they would be back in two weeks.  Our governor then sent out the word that schools would not reopen until April 28.  I would hope not.  I would not be willing to return as an aide.  But just a few hours ago it was announced that the governor stated that all schools will be closed for the remaining of the academic year.  Now there’s a shocker.

  

                 Governor Brown did make the statement to have all beaches and national parks and playgrounds closed.  Anyone caught at said beaches, parks or playgrounds (thus far walking path is still available in city parks – but I expect that will change too) before the nation took a stand on closing the parks – probably a week before. 

                Corey posted several pictures he had taken of the Las Vegas strip.  There were cars in a lot of the pictures, but no people except one where there was a security guard.  Emptiness where it is normally crowded. 

                I would never have imagined living through something like this.  And yet amidst this absolute strange chaos I feel so blessed.  There are still so many things to be grateful for.

Odd Week – or at least the last half . . .

            I accepted a long term position at the middle school last week.  When I arrived to the school on Monday I was given a schedule which had my name on it along side three other aides.  I was told to follow the schedule unless another aide is absent and than her schedule would be my priority rather than my own.  I’ve been there enough times to know what teachers utilize me and which ones don’t and so will use my own discretion on where I may be needed most but often will feel as useful as a tampon dispenser in a men’s room.

            The schools let out an hour earlier on Wednesdays giving time for instructors to meet together or what have you.  Those aides who are scheduled to stay after school lets out go to the detention room to provide homework support for those students who need it.  As I have mentioned in prior posts I have RS meetings on Wednesdays – or did rather. I am able to leave before school lets out in order to make my meeting.  As a result, the office manager had me come in earlier.

            I arrived before the students were dismissed from the Cafeteria to walk up hill and cross the street to the school.  When I arrived, students were walking toward the Skyhawk instead of going to the school.  I hadn’t believed that there was enough time to make the walk down there but learned that all students were being sent there as there was “a flood in the girls’ bathroom” which I guess was code for something else – though I don’t know what.  When I had seen the police officer I wondered if it was vandalism.  I don’t have my own email account for the school and so did not get all of the details about what took place.

            Many teachers stood in the cafeteria as students sat at tables or on the floor.  One teacher was on the stage lecturing the youth about the seriousness of the cornavirus and went over hygiene and the importance of washing our hands.  After about 35-40 minutes, the students were released to go to the school.   First period was pretty shot as far as time goes.  The staff added an additional ten minutes cutting the next class 10 minutes short, but 3-7 period were all the 35 minutes that occur each Wednesday.

            On Thursday a child had pulled the fire alarm just before the middle schoolers were about to dismissed for lunch.  The fire department was contacted and those persons who’d been in the elementary school and surrounding buildings could not be in the building.  Because the Skyhawk cafeteria is near the elementary school, it was closed due to a “fire drill” – thus all the students were to report to the gym before they could go to lunch.  I don’t know how long they were there.  Though the inconvenience seemed to disrupt the schedule, they made it work.  Still it felt weird.

I made this rough map to illustrate my
explanation in a letter to my son.

            This morning it was announced that today will be our last day for a while.  The state of Oregon is shutting down all schools for at least the next two weeks.  Two weeks, really?  They think all this commotion will be gone by then?  I expect it will be more than a month.  But what do I know?  

            At lunch time a few patrol cars showed up and the officers entered the field to play football with the students.  That was an awesome sight!  

             I read on my sister’s facebook page that they have shut down the libraries in Utah.  I don’t know whether they have been pulled out of school or not.  I really haven’t seen a lot of signs of panic.  I have seen more eye-rollers and skepticism.  Signs of precaution and concern. Jenna brought home a letter about the school shut-down and Roland said we need to keep it for the future of “remember this”. 

            My paycheck is usually enough to pay the mortgage – though sometimes it has been under.  I think this is one of those times that it will be way under.  Jenna’s crying.  Not only did seminary get cancelled but so did school.  Her birthday is coming up.  Some sweet sixteen celebration.  Isolation. Again, worse things happening elsewhere.  My suggestions to her are not helpful at the moment.   

Be Prepared . . . Perhaps

When the “Come Follow Me” program was introduced at the same time as two hour meetings, we were told to use the third hour to study at home.  We were also told that we wanted to develop the habit for one day when we were unable to attend church meetings for whatever reason.  None of us had predicted this soon however.

We had cancelled our last RS activity due to the weather and decided to cancel our upcoming as well.  We had made the decision before the church announced NO MORE MEETINGS until further notice (here). Only seminary will be held unless the schools shut.  But as of now only seminary is the only meeting that will be held at the ward house.  No others.  Not even sacrament meeting. 

Why do people panic instead of remaining calm?  Why do so many always expect the worse.  Instead of viewing the police car at the high school as “Oh, good.  They are keeping my child safe” a parent may panic and demand, “What is going on?” or a fire truck at the elementary . . . of course Roland is looking at this with a business mind and political gain.  I seriously doubt the church is in it for either of those.  And it always takes much longer for the world to catch up to what God has warned us about all along.

Some are eye rollers and don’t understand the severity – or don’t want to.  Closing our eyes to what’s happening won’t make it go away.  When a sporting event is cancelled, then I know that it’s serious.  They haven’t cancelled the schools as of yet, but have limited to school only – no parent teacher conferences, no assemblies, no athletic or performing art events.  Today the air raids have been going off all day. 

We have “bug out” bags located next to our door.  Over the years we have added, borrowed and changed items but have never had to use for intended purpose.  Even now.  We won’t be “bugging out”, we will be staying in.  Hopefully with the benefits of electrical communication and running water.  We won’t stay marooned.  Jenna and I will go to the park or elsewhere if school is cancelled.  Hang out in the fresh air.  It will still be fresh air? 

I came to Oregon, not just to add years to my life, but decades.  I intend to claim them. 

Holidays and Brain Out

          Valentines Day is a non-Federal holiday full of traditions and legends which may or may not be true.  There were at least two, perhaps three, patron saints who bore the name St. Valentine.  Their lives ended in tragic massacres; perhaps it was the way they lived that got the Valentine’s celebration started.  There are many websites to choose from when “Valentines” is the subject entered into a search engine such as Google.  I have never been much into the Valentine spirit.  The concept behind Valentine’s Day seems noble enough, but the commercialism is what keeps the holiday alive and I could do without that.  No one gets off of work or school in honor of Valentines.

https://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day

           President’s Day was created in honor of George Washington, first president of the United States.  President’s Day was initially established on February 22, 1885 in honor of his birthday.  President's Day is a Federal holiday - which means most governement businesses, banks, and schools are closed on Presidents day.  In 1971 the date was changed to the third Monday in February.  This was done as part of the Uniform Monday Holiday Act (see here) 

https://www.thebaynet.com/articles/0219/calvert-county-presidents-day-schedule-.html 

I had accepted an assignment that put me with kindergartners and first graders on Valentine’s Day.  The first graders surprised the aides when we were invited to play a trivia game to test our knowledge of George Washington.  Each time we answered correctly, we would get a point.  If we answered wrong, the children would get the points.  I thought it fairly easy as all of the questions had multiple choice – though I either hadn’t been aware or agreed with the answers as being correct – like the cherry tree incident I learned to be a myth.  Or that his teeth were not made out of wood but ivory – however ivory was not one of the listed choices.

I don’t remember how many questions there were.  Two of us answered all of our questions correctly.  One answered a couple incorrectly and one I think got only one right.  The aides won.  Later on that day I helped set up for the Valentine party.  I passed out the punch.

We had a three day weekend and did not return to school until today.  I had picked up an assignment to work today as well as Thursday and Friday.  I had accepted the assignment yesterday.  Oh my word, I was soooooooo sleepy.  The fact that I was sitting in a middle school math class was not helping in the least.

A snail travels 0.029 miles in an hour.  How much will he travel in 10 minutes?

saved from Emma Portel Pinterest file

Way too early for my brain to convert anything.  So glad NOT to be a student today.  The second class was more of the X Y chart but now introducing Z.  My brain hurt.  The instructor played this YouTube video.

Next was a prep class.  The instructor wrote a paragraph about a blizzard in the “maintain” and some other misspelled word – no punctuation.  I didn’t know if it was intentional so that the class would correct whatever they happened to write.  But they had to have three paragraphs.  It was definitely interesting. 

Only one recess was required with the schedule I had done on Friday, but the schedule I am doing this week has me outside three different parts of the day.  Though recess is not my favorite, I do enjoy this schedule overall.  But today was fricken cold and I never did get warm or felt awake.  I think I’ll be going to bed early.

Another Day In the Life

Another restless night and stomach pains

What did I eat that made me so sore?

I didn’t have anything scheduled for work

but checked the availability as I was

willing to work at the middle school today.

No jobs were posted.  Just as well.

I thought perhaps I would sleep for much

of the day and then I received a text.

I really like working with the aide who text me.

If it had been anybody else, I would have said “NO”

but I got dressed and scraped my things together.  

Roland fixed me a lunch.  And then I was off.

The morning drive was in thick fog. 

I thought that would mean sun and

heat during the day, but it was cold. 

All day.  I only had to be outside two times for recess.

In each class I’m supposed to help with phonics

And letter sounds.  What a confusing language!

ONE – a word that rhymes with “sun” or “fun”

– where are the phonics?

Nobody looks at the “O” and expects a “wwww” sound.

What the hey?

One student asked for the pronunciation of “doughnut”

which is often spelled “D_O_N_U_T”.  That makes sense. 

Well, sort of.  Can “u” and “a” be pronounced the same?

I think “a” has a variety of sounds:

dance, carnation, awesome, alligator

and what is up with the “gh” sound?

Laugh, ghost, dough   or  “oo”

Cook, food, door

And once again why is the spelled a

different from the written a? Lest we not forget

c as in city or c as in cake?

                                      chocolate, school, charade

and what is up with the spelling of “choir”?

The only part to be read phonetically is the “r”

The i is pronounced, but in the wrong place. 

So how does the letter “O” fit in that scenario?

Oh, the things I think about when I am at my job.

Catching Up on Some ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZs

I was on my computer Tuesday morning when I received a call from one of the schools.  It was 8:35 and the shift started at 9:00.  It was for the school that is farthest away, but I thought I could be there on time.  At that point I didn’t know if I’d be working with the elementary or middle school age children.  I wish it had been the older kids instead of the younger ones.

I was over my sore throat but still had that darn dry cough, and because I was using my voice all day (except for recess) my cough became stronger and my throat started hurting again.  I did not work yesterday.

The RS presidency meets once a week.  Initially they met on Monday but had changed it to Wednesday to accommodate me.  I don’t particularly enjoy working on Wednesdays as it is the short day and school lets out at the same time I get off.  I’d rather not deal with school traffic – which I don’t on any other day.  If I know there is not going to be a meeting, I can accept an assignment.

After the meeting, Roland and I drove up to Roseburg to see the movie “Ad Astra” – what a waste.  I really liked “Space Cowboys” made almost 20 years before the release of “Ad Astra”.  Did not care for “Ad Astra” at all.  For one thing, the light fading in and out on the screen bothered my eyes.  Sitting for more than one hour and twenty minutes was killing my behind.  I finally got up just to go to the bathroom and check the snack bar for something that might help my throat.  Didn’t find anything, but it was worth a shot. 

Then I heard my stomach growl.  I was hungry.  I wanted real food – not candy or popcorn.  They sold hot dogs for 5.50.  5.50!  Flip! I would have gone elsewhere, but none of the nearby locations sell any kind of food.  There was a half hour left until the movie let out.  I ordered a hot dog.  It took 15 minutes just to make the dang thing.  Can you imagine? Good thing there were no other patrons standing in line – well, there was no line.  I was it.  Everyone else was in the theater.

I can’t believe everybody sat through it.  I didn’t hear anyone say it was good or they liked it.  I had only seen one other person leave before it ended.  Roland didn’t like it.  He should have left sooner and come out and found me. 

Today I am going to the coast with a friend.  I am not even going to bother looking for work today.  I told Roland that I would, but I don’t want my throat to start aching again.  I think being closer to the ocean today may assist in my healing.  Let us hope so anyway.

Sorry for the non-exciting post.

 

Dash #5 EMES & 40 school lunch

            I don’t remember the elementary school having a particular smell.  I remember the option of two ways to walk there on foot.  Seems like it may have been faster to walk up our street and over on third east and down than the safer way which we usually went – over 240 to 260 and came in behind the school. The playgrounds were behind the school.  

a really ROUGH map of my neighborhood

            Our desks had openings in the front.  They were wide enough to hold two plastic trays.  We called them tote trays.  It is where we put all of our school supplies.  We carried the trays each time we moved for math, reading, science, etc. according to whatever our learning level was.  If someone was absent, the desk could still hold my tray as well as that of the absent student.

            Before peanut allergies was a common thing I remember peas tasting like they’d been cooked in peanut butter.  I kid you not!  To this day I believe the peas at East Midvale Elementary School cafeteria were cooked in peanut butter or maybe a heavy peanut oil that tasted like peanut butter.  Now, I love peanut butter but I HATE peas and cooking them in peanut butter did not improve the taste.  I may hate peas more as a result.

            We had a cafeteria separate from the gym.  I don’t remember if there was a folding door that separated the cafeteria from the gym.  Maybe.  It would have made for more room for assemblies and programs.  The school offered many programs for parents to come and watch their students perform.  It felt like my parents had a lot more opportunities to watch programs than do the parents who have students in schools today.

            We had an old custodian by the name of Mr. Beckstead.  He wore green coveralls.  At least that is how I remember it.  Our lunch trays had compartments, I think two or three squares and a circle, and each compartment was for a different food item. When we were through eating lunch we had to take our lunch trays up to the garbage, but if the monitor was not satisfied with our eating habits, he/she would send us back to the lunch table to finish whatever we hadn’t touched.  Many of my peers would stuff unwanted food into the milk carton because the monitors never checked the cartons.

            When we were in the  5^th and 6^th grade we could help serve food.  In sixth grade, if a student’s grades were good enough and had the desire or were picked, they could work as a safety patrol monitor.  I remember students guiding other students across the street.  300 East is far too busy for a child to fulfill that duty.  It is done by an adult.  I don’t think as many schools offer safety patrol anymore.

Trying to Erase or Fix the Confusion

I seem to have such a hard time waking up and staying focused – which I’m certain my readers recognized with my last post.  Perhaps I should just delete it and start over.

            In August of 2018, I had applied for a teacher’s aide position within the school district.  I had been interviewed at three of the five schools but was not hired through any of them.  Instead, I stayed on as a substitute which gave me the option of filling in for aides at all five schools.  Turned out to be a good fit as it gives me more options and flexibility.  At least it did.

            My first assignment was at the end of September.  I had accepted a position at the middle school.  It was a very positive experience and I had been grateful for the opportunity.  The next day I was filling in for somebody at one of the elementary schools.  I referred to it as my day from hell.  I was not a happy camper.

            One of the aides asked if I would ever come back.  I said I would – though it would not be my first choice.  I had filled in for another aide at that same elementary school and hated it even more.  I no longer accept positions at that elementary school.

            I was not given an opportunity to work at the other elementary until the end of October.  Out of the three schools I have been accepting positions from, this is my favorite.  I can now honestly say that I have put more hours in at this elementary school than the other two schools combined.  The two-week assignment that I had accepted in January has turned into the duration.

            I still have three more classes before I complete my online schooling.  Right now I am taking a class in public communications.  My first-week assignment was to write about a confrontation in the work situation and how I would go about handling it.  Initially, my mind had taken me in one direction than what I ended up writing about.  I briefly mentioned the fire drill and “for-real” evacuation in this post.  From that, I took the importance of having a walkie-talkie on me at all times.  As I am quite low on the totem pole, I imagined the coordinator giving the speech to me.           

            My week-two assignment was to start a speech that I will give for this week.  At first I recorded all the details that happened with the fire drill versus the real evacuation.  I only needed 400 words.  I think I had over 2,000 and so had to cut it down quite a bit and leave out all the details. I should be practicing my speech right now, but my throat has been sore.  Currently, it is raining very hard.  I think the rain is/will be louder than I am.

            It’s been raining a lot.  So often when it is raining outside, I am feeling hot inside.  That doesn’t even make sense to me and yet it really does happen.  I’ve been sleeping well.  Perhaps too well.  I find it hard to get myself up.  I think the weather must be draining me somehow.  Or maybe it’s my daily routine at the elementary school.  The time doesn’t always move as quickly as it used to.

            The internet on my computer seems to reflect my tiredness.  It comes and goes.  Mostly goes.  Spaces out while I am trying to do something – or listen to something.  The internet will “doze” or just cut out and go to sleep.  Maybe that’s what’s making me tired.  For example, I was listening to some songs on YouTube while I started this post.  The internet cut out and I am too sleepy to express anger or frustration.  I’m tired.  And my day hasn’t even started.  I may be taking a nap pretty soon.