Today a sister had asked why we call each other Sister so-and-so and not address first names. I understood her question. There are some sisters who have such beautiful names that are often lost in the shuffle when they are addressed by their last name. I do think that you get used to addressing a person one way and may have a hard time making your mind remember to call them something else. (For instance for years you may have been calling the neighbor lady Mrs. Loren twenty years later you are expected to call her Amanda. Huh?)
According to this
site, the title “Brother” or “Sister” is a sign of
respect which I understand but I do not think of calling a person by first name
is a sign of disrespect. It is more intimate and
familiar. I like hearing people called by their first
names. But I do get the respect of the title just as addressing
Bishop (name) President (name) and so forth.
One sister commented that sometimes
we don’t know the names of those we are addressing and may address an
individual “Sister” while introducing ourselves. Or “Sister, remind me of your
name” which seems to happen more often than not. LDS
Living offers
these two ideas.
I
am okay with either “Karen” or “Sister
Rivera”. Either is acceptable and I’m not offended if addressed by
the other. Jaime would rather not be referred to as “Sister
Rivera”. Fair. I also had a problem when I was addressed
by my maiden name. I personally would have rather been
called “Karen” than “Sister Fehr”. Sister Fehr was my
grandmother and not my 21 year old self (or however old). I hadn’t
looked at it as a sign of respect. For me, personally, the title
felt somewhat intimidating – as though I had graduated from being a youth to
having one foot in the grave.
As Jaime and I were talking she
told me she understands the respect thing. She most often addresses her uncles
as Uncle Todd, Uncle Steven, Uncle Robert and so forth. But she is still using
their first names and not Uncle Glad, Uncle Fehr and Uncle Rivera (that would
be weird). I have always used first names for grandmas to separate
them from their parents. (Grandma Greenwood, Grandma Fehr, Grandma
Mary, Grandma Helen, Grandma Gerrie, Grandma Aurelia, Grandma Lucy . . . .)
I did have one bishop who had a
three syllable Polish name which wasn’t all that difficult to pronounce but the
entire time he was serving was addressed as “Bishop Joe” – Joe being his first
name. I served a ward in Virginia where all the members were
addressed by Brother and Sister First Name rather than last name. I
really liked that. First names means “friend” in my opinion.
