Beneath the Wraps

               When I was younger I remember psyching myself into believing I didn’t care.   I didn’t care about boys or dating.   I didn’t care about peers or school.   I didn’t care if plans fell through.   I knew it was wrong.   I knew it was unhealthy to deprive myself of feeling any other emotion. I just knew that if I could convince myself that I believed I didn’t care it would be so much easier to handle than disappointment or rejection.   It was.   It truly was.   This heartache and turmoil is such a bunch of crap that most anybody would rather do without.   We’re told the sad/bad/hard emotions gives us strength.   Boloney!!!    Disappointment  and heartache bite big time!             When Jenna was younger we befriended a family that consisted mostly of Khonnie and her two children.   Dennis was gone for the most ...

                I have been feeling overwhelmed with emotion since last Friday afternoon when Roland came outside to "let me know what's going on."                  I didn't think I would ever see the day when Roland would be angry with Randy or not believe him.   My youngest son has always been a storyteller.   It started out as a form of entertainment, but gradually became a method of deception, and if he gets caught in the lie, will try to mask it with "Oh, I was just joking."               It has gotten old.                 Most everyone in the family had stopped trusting anything that came out of Randy's mouth.   Oh, he's got charm, charisma, so many likable qualities really, but also the gift of gab t...

            It is really a sad thing to have finals right after a two week vacation.   Instead of having just one assessment or assignment - all of it is expected from here on.   Every week will be the same.   That is fine for the times I have just one class, but it seems quite challenging this particular week when I have two and have not bounced back with my mind.             Theoretically I should be working on my assignments or posting a comment to a fellow student on discussion, but I first need to clear out my brain.   Perhaps if I brainstorm here I will have   a better understanding about what to write for my class assignment.             We're supposed to set goals on improving our self-management.   Yesterday's daily check point had us watch a video on sleep hygiene.  ...

                     Today’s challenge is to think about the best parts of my life while waiting in line or at a stop light.  I am done waiting in line this season.  There is one traffic light in Myrtle Creek and one in Tri-City.  I am never at either light long enough to reflect my life.  The best part of my life may be now or since we moved to Oregon because I am not so uptight.  I miss my sibs and families, but overall, I really am happier living in Oregon.                 Day four I had a problem.  I wrote a lot of detail about why.  Roland wanted to go shopping.  I don’t like shopping.  I try to remain positive.  It was a Saturday in December. He wanted to go furniture shopping.  He wanted to take Jenna with us.  The idea of shopping with both Roland...

          The discussion post this week is on being an effective leader.   We need to have examples about our emotional intelligence and what skills we need to improve on and how we would improve.   Roland is always coming up with ideas that I've never thought of.   I don't see myself as a leader and I knew that Roland would have some suggestions - one was my position in the family, which of course I hadn't considered.   I tried writing a few paragraphs about that - but each paragraph felt too biography and introductory and perhaps a little too horn-blowy - which is not what I wanted.   I don't know how many times I changed it before I finally turned something in.   Meanwhile I have come up with some more thoughts for a blog post.           I remember going to a wedding reception held outdoors.   I don't even recall what time of the year, but I remember the...

            Yesterday I started two new classes in addition to a grant class I'm taking for the library.   The two classes I'm taking currently delve into personality.   I have a feeling my head will fill faster than my fingers will be able to keep up. I've taken intelligence quizzes before - even before I started taking classes online.   I see the growth in my answers.   The instructor made the suggestion to look at where we were ten years ago and where we are now emotionally.   This is what I've written - but feel that it's too long for the discussion.   Even if I reference myself, I don't have anything to put in APA form as a reference.   So I'm posting it here - although you may have read it all before.             Ten years ago I walked with my three year old daughter to the school.   We took many walks around not only our neighborhood but my mom'...