Beneath the Wraps

            We have tried saving up for a Disneyland vacation for the last three years - asking each of our children and my siblings to please save for October this year.   Each year we have dipped into our funds - not that we ever had enough to get us there.   Last year we had gone back to Utah for Jeanie's funeral.   Next year will be returning for a wedding between Biff and Clair.   I really would like to meet her and support Biff again.   But truth be known, I HATE weddings.   I'd much rather go to Disneyland.             We used this year's tax refund to pay off bills, replenish our food storage and an excursion to Enchanted Forrest - though the latter was not necessary.   After struggling from paycheck to paycheck every month, sometimes you just feel that you need to do something so as not to go insane.   So after Jeanie's ...

A few of my posts have included dreams that I’ve had. Each of those posts concludes with how I don’t put much faith in dreams.   But there is one dream that I definitely interpreted to be quite meaningful.   I made a life changing decision as a result.                   I met Roland for the first time on December 31, 2000.   He asked me out that night.   We would go downtown to celebrate the coming of the New Year.   I missed playing games with my family – a ritual I have enjoyed about New Years.                   Roland was quite forward.   I had dismissed guys for being too forward – and none had ever been as forward as Roland had.   I didn’t understand why I felt so comfortable around him. By the end of our date we had set up a second. I don’t know if I knew then ...

          The wedding is now behind us, but still my plate seems full.  I am exhausted both mentally and physically.  And I am certain that I am also experiencing a hormonal imbalance.                     I vegetated all day yesterday.  Literally.  I had the boob tube on, but never saw a complete program as I would fade in and out of my slumber.  I hadn’t slept well the prior night.  I often have problems sleeping when I am overly tired.  My subconscious mind always seems to dwell on situations that I can’t change.  It drives me nuts – especially when I am so exhausted.           Given that and the fact that I had taken a Zyrtec before going to the wedding reception and then again before going to bed.  It must have taken all day before it finally wore off.  At least I hope it’s w...

I suppose I could just brainstorm my thoughts – which I have – but on paper.  Not on a post.              I’ve heard it said that poultry may sometimes run around frenziedly for several minutes after decapitation.  Hence the saying, “running around like a chicken with head cut off”            My mind has definitely been elsewhere this month.  Too many events taking place all at once.  Too many things to remember.  I have so lacked in my organizational skills           Had to find sitters for Jenna on Tuesday and Friday this week; had another meeting with my sibs on Tuesday – something which had been scheduled for well than a month in advance.  Fortunately my sister mentioned it in an email or else I would have forgotten.           I arrived early – ...

          When I was very young – still in elementary school, probably – my dad had strongly suggested that I elope when the time came.  Of course back then I had no idea what that even meant – but as I got older and older, I realized that the elopement thing was sounding better and better.  Weddings DON’T have to be expensive.  But some brides allow things to get out of hand.           I actually come from a very practical family who has not spent a lot of money on that special day.  Mostly due to a lack of funds – but also because we realize it is just one day and the expenses don’t have to be off the charts.  What’s the point?           I realize that there are some who have dreamed about her “perfect wedding” her entire life.  I wasn’t one of them.  Getting the groom was the main most important thing....